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[fricy]

Named a dwarf noble after my girlfriend since she was starting to show an interest in my fortress.

Said dwarf melted herself away to nothing constructing my first magma shower... (I forgot that liquid passing through a fortification does so at extremely high pressure).

Told my girlfriend about it. Finely crafted gabbro memorial slate is not enough to appease her. Damn.

Never ever name a Dwarf after someone you care about. My condolences friend.

[Lalasa]

I had one just now.  I misread my food stocks and now two of my dwarves are starving.  I thought it was odd that dozens of dwarves were cancelling "Give food" actions.  I rechecked my stocks and found that out of the 2000 or so food I thought I had, half of it was seeds and the other half was booze.  I'm such a moron!  I have 250 or so dwarves and only 106 food in the Other tab.  D:

[FuzzyZergling]

I sent ly military out to deal with a kobold ambush...
Turns out I forgot to give them weapons ._.
(Only two deaths though, one from the kobolds and one from a tantruming  soldier punching another's brain in.)

[GrimDark_Majyyks]

When I make a fort I usually designate a room in a high traffic area to be a lever room where I keep all the levers, and use a spreadsheet to keep note of their functions. One of mine went mysteriously unlabeled, which seemed odd to me, but surely I wouldn't decide not to give a label to something unless it was harmless right? I had someone pull it.

Well it turned out that the reason I didn't label it was because I needed to fix it because the mechanism connected to the bridge it was attached to wasn't magma safe, and it needed to be. 40 z-layers of pressurized magma is now (I can only assume) flooding the rest of the continent barring particularly high ground. I just now was able to shut the pumps off but nearly my whole map barring my on-top-of-mountain fortress is currently very red. The fortress happens to be mostly liquid-tight because my above-ground constructions are conveniently magma-proof and the fortifications are currently two z-levels above the surface of the lava flood. Not that it matters because lolfps.

I am pretty sure I had meant to remove that lever and forgot to. Actually, considering it, I think I had meant to make a thing and forgot before I started pumping idgi no idea what my plans were with that bridge.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

replace alligator with magma crab

[Lolfail0009]

I am pretty sure I had meant to remove that lever and forgot to.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

replace alligator with magma crab

This is going straight to the sigthread.

[Drazinononda]

When I make a fort I usually designate a room in a high traffic area to be a lever room where I keep all the levers, and use a spreadsheet to keep note of their functions[...]

You know you can use (N)otes to mark tiles, such as levers? You can also forbid levers ('t' over them and forbid the first mechanism) so even if you forget and pull it before checking your notes, your dwarves won't actually take the job.

[fricy]

When I make a fort I usually designate a room in a high traffic area to be a lever room where I keep all the levers, and use a spreadsheet to keep note of their functions[...]

You know you can use (N)otes to mark tiles, such as levers? You can also forbid levers ('t' over them and forbid the first mechanism) so even if you forget and pull it before checking your notes, your dwarves won't actually take the job.

Even better: with DFhack you can rename the levers, so you don't even need to go into (N)otes mode to decide.

[GrimDark_Majyyks]

When I make a fort I usually designate a room in a high traffic area to be a lever room where I keep all the levers, and use a spreadsheet to keep note of their functions[...]

You know you can use (N)otes to mark tiles, such as levers? You can also forbid levers ('t' over them and forbid the first mechanism) so even if you forget and pull it before checking your notes, your dwarves won't actually take the job.

Even better: with DFhack you can rename the levers, so you don't even need to go into (N)otes mode to decide.

The point was mostly that I forgot to either remove or record the lever just this one whole time and it ends up being the most disastrous lever possible. I find the lever-room-with-accompanying-spreadsheet to be more foolproof than naming the levers in DFhack because sometimes I give things really stupid names and spreadsheets make me more inclined towards standardized naming conventions. Also the act of recording does a lot for my memory, as a nice bonus.

[Kumquat]

Impulse minecart elevator.

That's a fancy name for "dwarf grinder" the moment a sock gets in the gears.

You can forbid socks and corpses so they don't get picked up, but you cannot instantly turn off all "recover wounded" jobs. Well you can disable the labors with Therapist but when you have a pile of dead and/or dying legendaries in the path of the killer minecart full of schist blocks it pretty much means a tantrum spiral is about to happen.

[Kickemall1964]

One of my fortresses i was visited by a dragon at first attack.
Luckily he fell in my traps. My Animal trainer needed a while to get it domesticated.
I thought if i put it at the entrance of my fort the goblins would think twice to get in.
Funny enough the next goblin was a thief and my dragon found him first and attacked and killed it with one burn.
But the flames got out of hand and burned through the whole ford, killing 2/3 of my dwarves and the rest went nuts and killed each-other.

so...

Loosing is fun

[gunpowdertea]

Loosing is fun

Yup, releasing the dragons of war is fun.

Losing is fun, too

[Lalasa]

I accidentally exported mittens which made my Queen very upset.  She had those who exported the mittens punished obviously.  One of those that accidentally brought an old mitten was a peasant named Meng.  My planter was charged with punishing Meng with a beating.  The planter, Deduk, begins to punch Meng and aims one of the punches at the peasant's head. 

The Planter punches The Peasant in the head with his left hand, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!

This all happened without the use of weaponry.  I don't know if I should be incredibly proud of my planter or frightened of him.
And to think this conflict happened because of old mittens.  I really don't know any more.  In fact, I think this mitten issue may cause a civil war or something.

[Ozarck]

If it's not mittens, it's querns. If it's not querns, it's socks. If it's not socks, it's something really stupid, like someone acting out just because they had just lost half their family and some fool just demanded that tey make fifty glass doors for the nobles' quarters while their beloved ones' bodies lay rotting in the sun. The over-sensitive bastards.

[Larix]

*Snort* In current DF, you couldn't facepalm without killing yourself. Blunt damage is applied in a very strange way so that being 'adjacent' to any sort of bone means an organ will get insta-destroyed by slight punches - notably all parts of the central nervous system.

[jonanlsh]

had a master sworddwarf who had a reputation for single-handedly putting down entire goblin sieges, wading into battle with his steel shortsword and clad in full steel armor. then his brain got bashed in. because his helmet, which he refused to exchange for something of superior defensive capability, was made of copper. he copped hell for that.