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[zehive]

Why has no one already quoted my "jack sparrow making a funny face and running off the screen" GIF and laughed at it

I was too busy watching it and thinking of all the times I've done that...

Flying Forgotten Beasts flying up from the caverns..
A diagonal hole in the water cistern..
Forgetting to pull the lever..
Pulling the WRONG lever..
That one time I saved after opening the circus and forgot I had opened the circus when I reloaded a few weeks later and started playing the top of the fortress like normal..
The Roc flying through the skylight..
An entire squad of dorfs dodging into a pond..


Good times.

[Virodhi]

When faced with a herd of skeletal reindeer smirking at them from across the map upon embark, a normal person digs a moat around the wagon and goes about their business. Some of us, however, overthink it and decide to collapse the wagon into a pit and start from there. And then completely forget to set a new meeting area before channeling out that last square...

Picture, if you will, a lone miner staring into a 12 z-level drop. "Uh, guys, you okay down there?"

I am the herpiest of all derps, but never mind. I have a dwarf, a pick and a yak (and a wagon's worth of goodies, lightly spattered with blood and other substances). Making this work will be my idiot tax.

[person012345]

Why has no one already quoted my "jack sparrow making a funny face and running off the screen" GIF and laughed at it

Jack Kojima > Jack Sparrow

Edit: I don't expect you to understand that btw, so dw. >.>

[Tlc2011]

But jack sparrow is better because he has a pirate hat.

And is better at making funny faces. and running. off the screen.

[Pickerel]

I just had a moment that represents my fastest sudden immediate bit of FUN ever.

I had a tundra fort, entirely underground, except for a wind farm, and that just powers a bunch of pumps, nobody actually goes up there.  It had a population of around 80ish after about 10 or so deaths over the years.  It has a booming community.  I am setting up a magma chamber up near the sand and clay layers to streamline access to magma, and avoid problems with magma creatures.  Along the way, a few other things were to be built, including an obsidian farm attached to a series of levers to control the magma and water flow.  I have the entire system going, but just so I can keep track, I haven't broken into the magma yet.  It's all set up.  But first, I need to break into the water in the underground cavern and close the flood gate behind the miner.

I misjudged water pressure.  Within less than a second of the miner breaking in, the entire chamber is flooded to a height of 7.  Furthermore, all the lower levels below that (this is the first cavern level) immediately flooded.

It's okay, though, my two miners drown and one glassdwarf who was manufacturing on the lower level.  No harm done.

Except that the bottom of the magma pump system was still open because I would eventually need to break ground there to let magma through, and as I said, I had left the whole system on and powered by a bunch of windmills above.  The water from above flowed into the magma system at lightning speed, and was immediately conducted from the very bottom layer (the magma layer) alllll the way up to the top of the fort, which is still an unmined layer, and fills in all lower levels quickly and immediately.  In literally three to five seconds of breaking ground in the water area, everybody in the fort - literally everyone - is in 7/7 water, and nobody is anywhere near the switch to turn the system off.  My dwarves die to the dwarf, as well as all my animals.  I've never before seen a fort so quickly destroyed.  It was quite impressive, really...  and it was definitely a... FACEPALM moment!

[Theifofdreams]

You, Sir or Madam, have just come as close to winning at dwarf fortress as is possible.
Congratulations on all the fun you had for those precious seconds until everyone drowned.

[LemmingKing]

Well.. First year barely even Autumn yet and Badgers start going beserk killing off 5 of my dwarves, spent the whole time worrying about the Badgers and forgeting about time and drinks. Winter comes and I'm low on drinks, enough said everyone goes berserk and the facepalm commences.

[AWellTrainedFerret]

Why didn't anyone tell me that diverting a river would cause my computer to explode?
I went from a steady 100fps to...2fps.

[BeforeLifer]

Why didn't anyone tell me that diverting a river would cause my computer to explode?
I went from a steady 100fps to...2fps.

Just think if that was ‼MAGMA‼ It would be even worse.

[mr_seeker]

I start a new fortress, thinking it was a "mirthful" place. First announcement I get: 2 dwarves attacked and mortally wounded by dwarves, one of them was my miner. Needless to say that I had to abandon the fortress after 5 min due to starving dwarves...

[mr_seeker]

I just found out that Mayor Urist is in love with thrones. Not woman, thrones!

Proof:
- First he demands 3 thrones.
- Then he puts an export ban on thrones (uhh?)

I am still waiting for that mayor caught having sex with a throne...

[Theifofdreams]

I am still waiting for that mayor caught having sex with a throne...

I'm pretty sure thrones are non-receptive to spores. And dwarfs, like everything else, breed by spore. Not sure what this "sex" that you speak of is...

[zwei]

I just found out that Mayor Urist is in love with thrones. Not woman, thrones!

Proof:
- First he demands 3 thrones.
- Then he puts an export ban on thrones (uhh?)

I am still waiting for that mayor caught having sex with a throne...

Better than dutchess with thing for traction benches...

Imagine being her husband...

[Pickerel]

First death on my new fortress was a baby falling down a soon-to-be well.

T_T

I know it's dredging up a post from the past, but I was looking through the posts of this forum and came across this one.  And I remember this one time... a baby whose parents were goblinated early on.  It went insane and tried to jump off the highest ledge on the fort.  This was a 1 level high ditch, with even stairs to get back up.  Since it was a baby, it wouldn't starve, so it spent the entirety of that fortresses existence repeatedly climbing to the top of the stairs, and jumping off.  This was several years.

[geoduck]

And if you order engravings and statues made, sooner or later, you'll get one of the noble "admiring" their throne collection.