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[peskyninja]

Just breached a cavern lake to make my water trap, the tunnel isn't finished so it's connected to the fort, so i put some floodgates there and connected them to a lever, then I mine the last square and quickly close the floodgate, now I proceed to finish the tunnel and the trap and "A force of !!FUN!!" arrives, I proceed to close the gates and prepare my militia then..."Urist Mcdabblingswimer has drowned!"X20, then I order l the lever connecting the floodgate that was mysteriously opened to be pulled.

Guess what happened? I connected the floodgate lever to the main gate lever and the goblin army just rushes into the fort crushing the unprepared militia and the tamtruing dwarfs.

HOW THAT HAPPENED?

[AWellTrainedFerret]

....sigh...I have just re-learned an important leason that I once knew but recently forgot.
I got complacent.
My fort is in it's 5th year now, and things have settled down. My front gate is well defended by many weapon traps, a crossbow tower, and catapults.
It's gotten to the point where I no longer even bother to raise the bridge when something !!FUN!! shows up.

And now it just bit my arse, hard. A large goblin siege showed up. They madly charged my well-designed entrance. Half of them died to crossbow and catapult fire before even reaching the entryway. A few make it into the trap hall and kill the 2 puppies I keep stationed there, a small victory for them I guess. But the next step further in they take, they're all instantly gibb'd by artifact mechanism weapon traps loaded with 10 masterwork silver hammers each.

Now at this point, I'm laughing like a stark raving mad dwarf in glee, and seeing as how there are about 40-50 injured gobbo's limping away from the fort in defeat, I order the ranged units off station and my melee squad to charge froth out the gates.

It takes them a little while, but they eventually mob up all the remainder of this epically failed siege attempt, with no casualties to boot.

...So...what went wrong, you ask?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Remember those 2 puppies that died at the entrance? They were there for more than just bait. As my soldiers are heading back to the dinning hall to celebrate; I get spammed with "A Goblin Snatcher has made off with Urist McKid, Dwarvern Child" ... x6

[mdqp]

It was during my first siege. I had already set up a couple of drawbridge, a burrow to get my dwarves to safety, and I had began to train a small army (sadly, only an handful of migrants had any fighting skills, and I didn't start with any fighters). As soon as I saw them I ordered to retreat (it went well, I only lost an hunter that stubbornly decided to face the goblins without any armor, and with lousy wood/bone bolts, so he had it coming). After a while I got bored, though (and I was also finishing the wood, so I was also pissed). I couldn't possibly wait years under siege, now, could I? I had managed to mine some adamantine, and I also created some steel, but being my first siege, I wasn't sure if my 3 recruits were up for the job, even with such fine equipment, So I first thought to lower the first bridge, and see if my traps could take down a few of them (I also had a 2 ballistas down the hallway, and I had build fortifications to close the access to the goblins if they came too close). I lower the bridge, they enter, kill my poor guard dog, then refuse to walk any closer, since I closed the access, and they couldn't path to my dwarves... So I said, "screw this"! And prepared for an assault with my 3 stooges. To help them with the goblins (there were about 20 of them) I decided to send out civilians, too, to act as a diversion, hoping this could make my "army" last any longer... I didn't expect my 3 dwarves to be effectively unstoppable, as they cut through their ranks effortlessly, ending the siege quickly... My only problem was that the civilians weren't fast runners, and ended up losing 8 of them, and at least half of them were downed by the last goblin on the map, that was sitting there without doing anything, as my dwarves blindly went toward him, ignoring his existance until he struck them down... The slow response of my army to my orders didn't help, either... In the end, I felt so stupid I abandoned the fortress, and started a new one (that had a nice cliff that went from the surface all the way down to the glowing pit, that lagged so badly I immediately had to quit that one too...)...

[Sutremaine]

Decided to order the whole fortress out to shoot at a siege. Generally this goes well (and I've had few enough opportunities to use the recently-built shooting platforms), but a goblin elite who hung back until the rest of the squad was absorbing all the fire got off a lucky shot and broke a dwarf's neck.

I knew this was a bad idea and did it anyway, since odds were I only would have got a bunch of shattered limbs.

[Vehudur]

Put a set of animals both before and after your traps to detect hidden trapavoid enemies.

[Mokkun]

Seeing my marksdwarfs (after sending them to attack a chained speargob for training) half having crosbows no bolts/quivers other half having quivers/bolts. then proceeding to get wiped out. and in my stupidity, having it in a well traveled area.

[MoosecraftMachete]

After discovering adamantine, I accidentally forbid all of it, then, while mining out more I caused a lava spill.

[raptorfangamer]

embarking on an opening mountain cave... cave crocs... those filthy cave crocs...

[mek42]

I engineered this brilliant idea for the waterfall through my dining room to also flow through my hospital and then flow into a multiple fork with floodgates for either edge of screen or obsidian farm.  Of course, upon shutting off flow to the obsidian farm I forgot to open flow to the outside and ended up with a scuba hospital.

This is actually the state of my most recent save, so I'm off to drain the hospital and start making blocks for a constructed floor so my medical dwarfs don't need to walk through moss and tower-caps on their way to patients.

[Grumbledwarfskin]

Face palm #1: Designing a spillway for magma forges, I decided to use a bridge instead of a floodgate. "It'll be great, they're not destructible like floodgates, so I won't have to worry about invaders!"

Built the bridge, linked to a lever, carved fortifications for the magma to come in. Pulled the lever. Bridge retracted.

Wait, why is there magma on the bridge tile?

Oh...retracting bridge. Forgot to set the closing direction when building it. Lost the area intended for the first of my magma forges, buried beneath a lot of magma.

Face palm #2: Now it's time to build more magma forges two z-levels below the first ones.

Build some down stairs just south of the current forges, up/down stairs below them, decide to widen it out to the original planned width, can't use up/down stairs, because there's magma up above, so just down stairs for that end of things.

Start carving down stairs, magma pours onto the miner...oh yeah, digging out down stairs only doesn't guarantee you a roof over your head, that's up the the floor above...where there were up/down stairs...

[Vindictus]

Just now, when I realized the reason that kobolds were still dying off early even with no need to eat or drink was because I modded tigers to be more plentiful and live everywhere.

Apparently, kobolds are tasty ^_^

Well, at least I've gotten some legendary tigers out of this.

[Spaghetti7]

Had my first Forgotten Beast run along, that unfortunately was not made of steam. A giant skinless serpent with a poisonous sting, it came into the caverns and started going for my door in.
I sat there and did nothing, completely forgetting the whole building destroyer jazz. Eventually, when a fisherman came to build a trap nearby, (I was gonna try to catch the bugger) it busted down the door and managed to murder him and another before my military came and destroyed him.
But now he's being butchered, so we're all happy. 

[Tlc2011]

Gave up on a waterfall...

Only to read up on it on the wiki while unpaused.

I come back and my fort is FLOODED.

My response:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[person012345]

When I first filled up a moat, I filled it right to the top. The map freezes mid-autumn to mid-spring. Yeeeah. Luckily I didn't have any attacks that winter and drained it to half for the next year.

[Tlc2011]

Why has no one already quoted my "jack sparrow making a funny face and running off the screen" GIF and laughed at it