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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2210485 times)

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4485 on: May 20, 2011, 06:59:16 am »

Vabok Arrowfences is married to Zan Boltgates. D:


Zan died because a wild yak bull entered my colony, I thought it was one of my herd for a moment, and kicked his head and spine. He suffocated due to that kick. Poor Vabok only has her two deities left. Both are/were in my Crossbow militia. :( Dalzatakmanm, Matchsunk, will pay! Delicious yak-burger!

Christ. Goblin Ambush. Crossbows + bow. Their first target was a stray yak cow which took a LOT of shots, didn't die. They accidentally hit a cavy sow pet of a dead Dwarf, it was pastured, and that bled to death very shortly afterwards. My militia then engaged them in melee, the goblins had wasted quite some time on the cow. The Goblins shot my Mcom through the head causing deathness. :( The game crashed a moment later during the melee and I will start a new fortress, this one wasn't properly defensible and I already have 15 dead Dwarfs on a population of around 76 which is more than my average. It'll take a while before I'll start a new fortress because I intend to nick my brother's raws whose changes I tend to like a lot and he hasn't arrived yet. :P I made fourteen screenshots of Erushtulon and I shall upload them. UnfortunatELY I didn't make pictures of the entire fort but only of more or less important happenings.

(I make a LOT of screenshots. I've got approx 1500 for Mount and Musket mod for Warband, for example.)
Spoiler: Mata the cyclops child (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: HOW THE HELL? (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: latest ambush (click to show/hide)

Yes, my group was the Trumpet of Gangs in Erushtulon, Handleroad and my Parent Civ was Ordastot, the Large Swords. Unfortunately I hadn't made large swords (two-handers, I mean) actually usable.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2011, 08:09:36 am by FrisianDude »
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Sarda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4486 on: May 20, 2011, 08:16:19 am »

"HOW THE HELL?", "tough motherfucker" and "Spoiler" don't work for me. All the others work and are cool, though.
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You'll have to provide warm, moist kittens at the end of each test chamber.
Dwarf Fortress:
Where 9% of your town is casualties, is good.

Felius

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4487 on: May 20, 2011, 10:04:29 pm »

Three hundred pages? This is madness!

Madness....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Indeed. I'm kinda proud to have started the thread.
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"Why? We're the Good Guys, aren't we?"
"Yes, but that rather hinges on doing certain things and not doing others." - Paraphrased from Discworld.

Necro910

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4488 on: May 20, 2011, 10:09:07 pm »

Three hundred pages? This is madness!

Madness....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Indeed. I'm kinda proud to have started the thread.
You should be. It's a great thread that has the honor of being stickied.

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4489 on: May 21, 2011, 05:40:07 am »

"HOW THE HELL?", "tough motherfucker" and "Spoiler" don't work for me. All the others work and are cool, though.
That's odd, I uploaded them all in one batch. Are they working now? Also, I just started a new fortress, nice spot, it was named Armormerchants, which is a bad-ass name. It had alligators. Oh my, I thought, but I went on. Badger-people appeared. Got enraged at alligators and subsequently killed. One of them got enraged at one of those floating drumsticks, a pike. Three dead badgerpersons later and an alligator heads for my Dorfs. It kills two before being copper battle axed to death. I then notice that I've yet another casualty of natural rage; one of the badger women mauled one of my starters who was therefore miserable. With two Dwarfs dead and the other five unhappy I abandoned. YOU WIN THIS TIME, NATURE.
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Musashi

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4490 on: May 21, 2011, 06:25:39 am »

Somehow, a nice pile of some underground beast's teeth comes into my possession. Yep, just teeth.
Awesome, I thought! Just what I needed for those otherwise unfulfillable mandates! There, I [f]orbid the pile, so it won't get accidentally crafted into anything if the time hasn't come! I just have to [f]orbid all other teeth and unforbid these specific ones if a stupid mandate pops up! I can finally manage my fort properly without having to cause witness unfortunate accidents happening to my nobles...
And then, I woke up.
 >:( :'(


(Saddest part: I haven't played DF in over a month. Go, me.)
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

1piemaster1

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4491 on: May 21, 2011, 01:56:08 pm »

My possessed dwarf made a wooden cedar cup.
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hjd_uk

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4492 on: May 21, 2011, 05:09:28 pm »

My stairs down to the jetty over my artificial lake let in a dozen invaders while i wasn't looking ... bloody winter ice.
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Deus Machina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4493 on: May 22, 2011, 06:16:15 am »

My last fortress's legendary stonecrafter: Catten Lolcatten.
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Quote from: KillerClowns
Beneath the slade, there is sheep. By all that his holy, there are so many sheep down there. I don't know why it's sheep.

Niccolo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4494 on: May 22, 2011, 10:40:55 am »

My last fortress's legendary stonecrafter: Catten Lolcatten.

You have GOT to get him a pet cat.
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What's wrong with using magma? That's almost always the easiest method.
I have issues channeling it properly to do that method. I end up flooding the fortress with magma.
Check out my RtD!

FuzzyZergling

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4495 on: May 22, 2011, 10:54:10 am »

My last fortress's legendary stonecrafter: Catten Lolcatten.
I can has cheese roast?
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Musashi

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4496 on: May 22, 2011, 01:10:41 pm »

My last fortress's legendary stonecrafter: Catten Lolcatten.
And I thought I had found the best one with Ducim Lolokcatten! Have an Internet.
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

RabidAnubis

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4497 on: May 22, 2011, 05:35:42 pm »

So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?
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Dwarf Fortress: Your game is working on giving NPC's lives. Our game is working on giving them a working nervous system.
Aahhh I can't find the fish cakes in the bunny level, they keep getting enraged and I don't have any holy hand grenades
The Age of Myth: Goldenhold

Icemonkey

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4498 on: May 22, 2011, 06:03:16 pm »

So I was mining out a nice vein of Adamantium, when shaboom! I accidentally unleash hell. Small facepalm there, should have been more careful. So I wall it off, sacrificing my two legendary miners to hold back the demonic horde. Then, having spent a load of time training up some new legends, and feeling smug and secure behind my flimsy chalk wall, I set them the task of ninja-mining the outside of the vein where the evil bastards can't get me. However the hauling was going a bit slowly due to my 1x1 100-odd-z-level shaft, so I decided to expand to a 3x3. It's when I get the notification that I've discovered a load of minerals, eerily reminiscent of when you break through to a cave...

That's when the true facepalm begins. First, my miners have indeed opened a hole into a chasm... one which is filled with demons. Secondly, they happened to dig into the bottom of the lake that lay at the bottom. So my two freshly trained legendary miners are promptly swept down the stairs by the rushing tide, down to my under-construction magma forge area, through the channel, and fall to their melty deaths. Along, I should add, with the 30 dwarves who happened to be down there tidying up.

To top it off, as the water goes down and drowned/smashed/pushed-to-a-firey-death all the poor buggers downstairs, the demons fly up, promptly tearing seven shades of shit out of my poor minions. One of them flew pretty much the distance from one end of my very long central corridor to the other. While wearing full plate armour.

 Then, to top it all off, the game crashed. Apparently my computer felt enough was enough.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2011, 06:09:47 pm by Icemonkey »
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MaximumZero

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4499 on: May 22, 2011, 07:17:35 pm »

So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?

er, no, no he's not. You do so at the craftsdorf's shop. Also, I wasn't aware of this until pretty recently myself, so there's that, too.
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting
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