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[Niccolo]

So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?

er, no, no he's not. You do so at the craftsdorf's shop. Also, I wasn't aware of this until pretty recently myself, so there's that, too.

Oh. Oh God... Oh God I feel stupid now... How am I only now finding out about this?

[Karnewarrior]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?

er, no, no he's not. You do so at the craftsdorf's shop. Also, I wasn't aware of this until pretty recently myself, so there's that, too.

Oh. Oh God... Oh God I feel stupid now... How am I only now finding out about this?

It's only been in since 31.x came out.

[Lord Shonus]

Even more recent than that. Came in with bees, IIRC.

[FrisianDude]

Well, fuck. I had a fortress with no real weapon-grade ore, only tetrahedrite (okay, silver is good, but copper sucks for armour), aluminium and gold ores. The first ambush(es), two of them, appeared and easily just rubbed out nine of my 18 militia. Usually I even have smaller militia with much more success. I'm abandoning this one; the first time I've seen the 'your strength has been broken' screen. Gobdammit.


Edit; only after abandoning did I realize I destroyed a legendary carpenter, a legendary engraver, four legendary miners, a legendary soaper (!), and a legendary wood burner. I normally never have that many at 60 Dwarfs. Oh well, new fort tomorrow. I should sleep now to be able to be on time for work.

[Javarock]

Well awhail back I had knighted a dwarf, Sir Lanceolot. I had what I belived decked him in full adamite includeing a cloak for his knighthood. Right before he was equiping the complete set (Bracers and Boots) we were attacked, In the heat of the moment I sent him out. Then I learned that dwarfs can get their hands, And feet chopped off and die.

[snoopychicken]

Today was the first time I got a fort past 1 year. I had a metal industry, a good militia (I suck at military) and was doing really well.
My wife came in as I was finishing up and I got distracted amd abandoned fort instead of save. 

[Bohandas]

So I am facing a mass dehydration in my fortress because I cant get any wood to make barrels during an invasion. I decide that Im probably going to lose the fort anyways, so I send my two legendary axedwarves to stand behind my drawbridge and prepare to make a heroic last stand.

I pull the lever...


...and the bridge atom-smashes the two dwarfs and the invaders kill my fort

... you know you can make pots, functional equivalents of barrels, out of stone, right?

Facepalm part 2

Facepalm part three

This guy is joking, right?

er, no, no he's not. You do so at the craftsdorf's shop. Also, I wasn't aware of this until pretty recently myself, so there's that, too.

Oh. Oh God... Oh God I feel stupid now... How am I only now finding out about this?

Its new as of the last couple of releases. Pots fwere first implemened a couple of months ago, so if you're playing an older version or haven't been reading the development notes it makes sense that you'd be unaware of it.

[Deus Machina]

Oh, I have a new one.

I think I can count this one as 'logical progression'.

[FuzzyZergling]

Those are some very nice squads you have there.
Have you drafted your bookkeeper into the Papers?

[Fidna]

I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).

[Shawtay]

Note to self: don't try and make a well using a lake, and underground tunnels when your miner is your expedition leader and the outpost liaison is following him. Drowned both a legendary miner and the liaison. I wonder what's gunna happen...

[Necro910]

I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).

Did you know that "Sarcophagus" means "Flesh Eater"? The greeks called the stone Sarcophagi "lithos sarkophagos" meaning "Stone flesh eater". So you're technically feeding the dead to stone flesheaters
 

[/nerdom]

[Amun-Ra]

I decided that on the top floor of my tower, a portion on the floor wasn't made of the right stone. I decided to deconstruct a portion of the floor and make the part I didn't like collapse to the floor below.

Little did I know, the falling floor would break the floor below it... and below that one... and below that one... going on for five floors, killing seven dwarves (including my legendary +5 engraver) and wrecking my tower. On top of that, the cave in reached underground as well, breaking away a flood gate, flooding a lower portion of my fortress.

FFFFFFfffff.....

[Lord Shonus]

I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).

Make 10 masons and 10 craftdwarves. Crank out and engrave 92 slabs.

[FrisianDude]

I've just been brutally reminded why I hated macaques so much. A flock of nine came by. I quickly put my woodworkers (two woodcutters and a carpenter) and my hunter in militia and set them up. One of the woodcutter flew off in anger and slaughtered three of the bitches, I then let the woodsdorfs out of the militia. My hunter went off after one of them and another one pinched the ONLY crossbow I have. 

Five macaques lie dead and only one of them is still in my area.