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[MrGimp]

Chapter #17 - Even a Urist Feels Love

There was good news this, the 68th year of reclamation.



First, through Khamero's great effort, and the practical sacrifice of his offspring's nobility, the fortress had managed to eek through the famine without any more dead.  But that was nothing.  No.....something even more miraculous has happened this year.  That cold hearted bitch has finally done it.  Somewhere in that black heart of hers she has found room for another, and they have found room for her....

[Eagle]

Eagle laughs at starvation. LAUGHS I TELL YOU.

[Bormok, God of Mud]

Demon worshipping Dwarven romance on Halloween, how fitting.

[Argonnek]

I half expected her to find love on the 69^th year of reclamation.

[Tradanbattlan]

Oh god, what is going on
It's like the earth just shattered into a lot of not-delicious broken earth-ey bits

I mean,
URIST?
In LOVE?

[TALLPANZER]

Well clearly now she must die. Hopefully in some Ironic, painful, and humorous way. Perhaps involving onions.

[Yoink]

Wow... Well, I certainly came in late here, I just read the first and last pages, but wow? Urist is still alive?
That's awesome!... Er, could someone maybe PM me a brief rundown of the story so far? I don't really have the time to read through 140 pages, even if they are awesome...

[MrGimp]

Wow... Well, I certainly came in late here, I just read the first and last pages, but wow? Urist is still alive?
That's awesome!... Er, could someone maybe PM me a brief rundown of the story so far? I don't really have the time to read through 140 pages, even if they are awesome...

All 140 pages are definitely not awesome, despite what some kind souls may say.  Theres plenty of insane ramblings and drunk talk.

For a quick read through the story that touches on all the major points, you should read the first two chapters, then read the first page of 'Goodbye Sanity' and the first page of 'Jewel of Life'.  Then check out Post 666 and the Scroll of Death.  Its all linked on the first page.  I think those posts will give you the gist of the story.

[filiusenox]

Badass, a dwarven heir from an ancient crone.
Is the name promised to anybody?

[MrGimp]

URIST?
In LOVE?

HEY!!!  Even a Urist feels love!

Well clearly now she must die. Hopefully in some Ironic, painful, and humorous way. Perhaps involving onions.

Patience.  She is actually coming up on a possible natural death.  She can drop dead at any moment within the next 30-60 years, according to the raws for the dwarven lifespan.  And Im ahead of the story 10 years right now (trying to catch up) so really in 20-50 more years this bitch is dead no matter what.

Fucking mortality.

Badass, a dwarven heir from an ancient crone.
Is the name promised to anybody?

I dont know.  Ive had to think about that a bit lately.  I think the first male heir is mine.  I'm going to name him Damian.  All other heirs are open of course, and if Damian dies (intentionally or not) then the throne is up for grabs. 

[MrGimp]

Up Close With Kulaka Whipcolor

So who is Kulaka Whipcolor?

He is the High Priest of Armok, and when he is not committing ritualistic sex acts upon the High Priestess while splashing around in a pool blood, he is happily doing as commanded by his majestic Empress.  He is a true loyalist, through and through.  He has been in the fortress since the first or second migrant wave.  He helped Urist replace the old Queen and her henchmen with her magnificent self.  He was a major character early on in the story, when he went by his original birth name of Thob.



He likes Adamantine, River Spirits, and long walks on the beach.  His years of loyalty to Urist and faithfulness to the blood god make him a truly remarkable candidate for the father of a new Imperial line.  Armok is truly pleased and delighted with this unholy union.

[maxicaxi]

This the best community fort, THE BEST

[Yoink]

Wow... I read what you suggested, and some other bits.
Pure. Awesome.
I'll definitely keep checking in. can hardly believe Urist is still alive after all that.... Fun. Truly Armok protects her!
Well, at least in the bit I read.

[MrGimp]

Spring 273



Not much happened this year.  Khamero, under orders from his mother-in-law the Grand Duchess, continued to administer farms and farmers and the gathering of plants.  There was plenty of food, if only the Empress had been able to manage an ounce of compassion for her people.  However, she was too busy with her new love to worry about feeding peasants. 

It was infuriating to Khamero.  He had waited too long.  His sons had failed to seduce the old wrinkled bag.  That damn High Priest was about to ruin everything.  Soon there would be a wedding, and Kulaka would release his spores and steal the Imperial throne away from Khamero's bloodline.

He and his sons would now plot and scheme twice as hard. 



In other news...Denisol Noblerope has been spending his time far away from the sun, deep in the mountain extracting adamantine for Urist.



I just thought that was an awesome name for a strand extractor.  'Noblerope'.

[MrGimp]

Spring 274



The Empress turns 120 this year, and throws a big celebration.  It is the talk of the fortress when she shows up to the party escorted by the High Priest Kulaka.  Duke Travolta is now visibly on the outs, and has been seen getting drunk and hanging out with the Court Musician Kurk Quorcane.  As the two former lovers of Urist, their access to life is very tenuous.

In other news, the Stonecutters have finished the outer walls...



These damn walls were even bigger construction projects than the temple or even the pyramid.  They caused the emptying of our stone stockpiles several times, which is good, because digging all these adventurer tunnels and traps with a bunch of legendary Stonecutters produces a lot of stone.

Here is a view of the Temple of Armok from atop the walls looking west.





And here, in all its awesomeness, is the giant skull at the bottom of the pyramid....