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[denisol]

* GASP * AN UPDATE?!

[The Architect]

MODIFIED DEMON FIGHT!!!!!!!


Oh, hell yes.
Laughing as always in appreciation at the well-done little jokes. I like how you come up with new ways to handle the addition of more "characters" all the time!

[MrGimp]

270



The population of loyal Armok worshiping sycophants continues to grow.  It truly was a wonder.

The Empress continued to party all year, leaving Mogror Harbett to come up with a myriad of sick tortures for the defeated King Fikod.  The shrieking and wailing filled the hallways of the fortress, and Urist and the other revellers danced to it.  They danced and danced and danced.

The High Priest and High Priestess continued to bless everything the Empress did, and so in the eyes of the masses she was the holiest of holy dwarves: The Chosen One who had brought the dwarves to Armok.  Even Khamero and Jewelettarette's brood was beginning to believe that maybe she wasnt such a bad Empress after all.  After all, things seemed pretty stable.  Things were a little more settled around Blockedlance now that the pagans had been all but wiped out.  Urist had little reason to kill anyone now.  Still...Khmaero ached for revenge for his slaughtered family, and his sons ached for power and glory.  Only time could tell their fates.

As the population grew however, they continued to put a strain on the fortress resources.  They had been living on top of the fruits of previous generations for far too long.  Soon, the drunken revelers would would have to wake from their slumber....

[uggi]

May I request a dwarf in this epic fortress? Any dwarf will do, hopefully one that ends up horribly mutilated, crushed by a drawbridge or dies in the process of making dwarven science. Name him/her 'Uggi'. Thanks.

[MrGimp]

May I request a dwarf in this epic fortress? Any dwarf will do, hopefully one that ends up horribly mutilated, crushed by a drawbridge or dies in the process of making dwarven science. Name him/her 'Uggi'. Thanks.

Sure, no problem.  Im way ahead of the story though, so you wont show up until 278. 

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Could be dwarfed as anyone. Name him/her JHLL. Preferably him.

[MrGimp]

Could be dwarfed as anyone. Name him/her JHLL. Preferably him.

Ok youre in.  Youll show up right after Uggi.

[MrGimp]

271



It was spring of 271 one now, and the Empress continued her drunken binge with every single bachelor in the fortress.  Some of the dwarves admired the Empress for her 'never say die' attitude, her unwillingness to give up, and her obsession with her own fertility.  Others did not admire so much....namely Khamero and his sons.  They had hoped their fool of a brother/uncle would get his act together and take advantage of his special relationship with Urist.  He had been given many chances to release his spores in the Empress over many decades, and still he had not done so.  Now, there was a chance Urist would marry someone outside the Grand-Ducal family.  On the other hand, Airag, Imhotep, Xanthius 2.0, and Calibur were all taken part in the massive orgy...as well as a few of the younger sons.  So Khamero took comfort in the knowledge that there was still a good chance one of his brood could seduce the vile Urist and take her Empire from within.

On Urist's part, she was getting quite worried.  She was nearing the end of a natural dwarven life, she would turn 117 this year, and still she had no heir.  The stress was growing day by day, and she hoped this great orgy could solve all of her problems.  That was why she ignored all of her duties.  She had to have a son....a beautiful, blood god worshiping son!

The orgy reached a climax this year (one of several) when the son of Petbeard and Kurk Quorcane created an artifact to honor Urist.  He displayed it to her during the party, hoping he could win her favor and release his spores in her.



Dehfawck wanted to be Emperor!!!



"Here you are my Empress, a dolomite earring I have made just for you!" said Dehfawck solemnly as he bowed and presented the gift in its velvet case.  Urist picked it up and eyed it critically.

"A dolomite earring?" she asked, obviously not impressed.  "Come on kid....look Im several decades older than you so let me give you some advice.  When you try to woo a woman...make sure its gold or diamonds....something shiny.  Women like shiny things....not plain milky white flux stone."

"Oh."

"Now get lost, Im gonna go bang the High Priest."

Dehfawck walked away sulking.  He was devestated.

It was then that the doors to the great hall burst open, and there stood a guard, looking very skinny with his armor hanging loosely upon his body.  He looked emaciated and his cheeks were sunken in.  "My Empress!!!  Empress!"  he shouted in his exasperated voice.  "Tosid has starved to death!"



A gasp went through the room.

"WHAT?!" shouted Urist as she made her way to the front of the room.  Everyone expected her to immediately take charge of the situation, and solve the problem.  But she had other ideas.  "How dare you interrupt my party with your trifling matters!!!  Tosid isnt even an ancient dwarvish name.  Who cares about a guy with no name?  Now get lost, Im trying to get laid!"

With that, the Empress kicked the guard out of the room, slammed the door, and bolted it shut. 

"Now lets party!"



Meanwhile, while the Empress continued to party, more and more dwarves began to go hungry...



The population had grown to over 80 dwarves by now.  And there hadnt been a full time farming force in decades.  The dwarves of Blockedlance had been living off of the bounty wrought from the ground by a group of long dead farmers.  There was nothing left...and with a fortress full of dandy nobles, who was going to do the dirty work and put some food on the table?

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

This outta be fun.

[TALLPANZER]

*TALLPANZER has organized a party at "Empty field"*

Ok, we are all going to play a party game. I call it, "put the plump spawn into the ground"
who ever puts the most spawn in the ground wins.
Ok GO!

[MrGimp]

Khamero knew it was bleak.  He looked around and saw several of his own children crawling on the floor looking for rats to eat.  How could this have happened?  The stockpiles had been so full....he had remembered thinking that the stockpiles had food for....well, for decades.  And indeed it had been many decades, and the fortress population had only grown larger.  Most of Khamero's sons were partying with the Empress, doing the important business of the family...but Khamero gathered the remainder of his family, including his mother-in-law, the Grand Duchess Slemsvamp.

Being the most entitled noble other than Urist, the Grand Duchess immediately assumed control of the fortress while the Empress was away.

"I say, the problem seems simple enough.  We just tell the peasants to get in the mud and grow some seeds!"

"Yes, but there are NO peasants left!" cried Khamero.  "We killed them all!  The survivors were put in the military....uhhh....including my mom."

"Well then....it seems that some nobility is just going to have to be more noble than others," said Slemsvamp.  "Be a dear, Khamero, my boy, round up your daughters and the bratty children of the Dungeon Master and Philosopher.  Have some of them forage in the bushes and in the muddy caverns for some edibles right now.  Then have the remainder plant our stocks of plump helmet spawn.  Dont forget to assign a brewer and a cook.  Better make it two of each."

"What?  You mean.....have my children....w...wo....wor...work?"  Khamero could barely get the words out.  He himself had known a childhood full of work....and had thought he had saved his family from the cold grip of endless toil.

"Hmmph....well, they can be noble and starve, or get in the fields and live," reminded the Grand Duchess, as if she had no part in this.  "Now shoo!  You have some work to do!"

"Yes mother," said Khamero to his mother-in-law before skulking off.  He could only hope more of his children would not die before the bushes in the courtyard could be foraged.

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

And to think all of this because of a demon fortress. Was this in 40d?

[MrGimp]

Yep, good ole 40d

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Als, in one of your first posts in this thread, you said you wanted BlcokedLanced to either be a migrant killing device or a crazy band of anti everyone bandits. Yu got both.

[MrGimp]

Khamero had assembled his daughters and younger sons.  Petbeards children were there as well.  He explained to them what they had to do.  He explained to them the absolute hopelessness of their situation, and pointed to the dead body of Tosid as well as their younger siblings already crawling the hallways looking for dead insects and old shoe leather.  He reminded them that the death was a real possibility if they did not work.

"But we're NOBLE!!!!" they all had shouted.

"I work all the time.  I dont know what you are complaining about," Khamero cried in response.

"Yeah but you just detail stone!" cried one.  "Yeah, thats not hard work!" shouted another.  "Mining, masonry, any kind of crafting....now those are noble professions....if indeed one absolutely has to work at all.  Why cant we do that?"

"But we need food!"

"Well....maybe we can be brewers, then?" said one.  At once, everyone shouted their delight with this idea.  "Yeah Ill make the booze!" shouted a voice.  "Yeah me too!" shouted several others.

It was useless.  There was no reasoning with them.  Khamero reached for that last tool of diplomacy that always worked: violence.

"If you dont get to work and feed this fortress I will sick the fortress guard on you at once! Now go gather every berry and grass from out in the field and start handing it out to the starving ones.  You two, start cooking up whatever you find.  When you're done with that, start farming, for gods sakes!  Anyone who disobeys will spend time in the catacombs in a cage next to King Fikod, do I make myself clear?"  There was utter silence.  The dwarves knew they were defeated.  They began to rationalize their fate as the lesser of two evils.  Maybe it wasnt so bad to roll around in the mud?  Its better than being stuck in a cage. Or poked with something sharp by one of the guards.

Yes, you had to know when to fold em.

"Geeze Hitler, we're going." pleaded one.   "Yeah, you dont have to shout like that, we have dignity too!" said another. They marched off to work.  Under his breathe, one last dwarf remarked, "You know, I hate to sound like a pagan, but this fortress is starting to feel like a police state."