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[MrGimp]

***SPOILERS IN THIS STORY***

(I dont know who doesnt know about the 40d hidden fun stuff, but if you dont, and dont want to, then dont read any further)





Table of Contents

Introduction
Chapter #1  - The Crucible
Chapter #2  - Revolution!!!
Chapter #3  - The Murder of Momuz
Chapter #4  - Kiss the Ring
Chapter #5 - The Goblins Return
Chapter #6 - Goodbye Sanity
Chapter #7 - Immolation
Chapter #8 - The Jewel of Life
Chapter #9 - A House Divided
Post #666
Chapter #10 - A New Dawn
Rifotkubuk Pranced Upon
Chapter #10 1/2 - A Not As New Dawn
Chapter #11 - Sunrise on the Microcline
The Scroll of Death
Chapter #12 - Chapter of Belated Updates
Chapter #13 - Blockedlance: The Next Generation
Chapter #14 - Fifty Years of Love
Chapter #15 - An Empire to Last 1,000 Years
Chapter #16 - The Siege of Godlymirror
Chapter #17 - Even a Urist Feels Love
Chapter #18 - An Heir to the Throne
Chapter #19 - The Day the Music Died
Chapter #20 - Exile of the Khamerite Clan
Chapter #21 - Skirmishes of Ragnarok

Introduction

In the year 200, a group of dwarven refugees set out for the ass end of the earth, and dug a hole in the ground at a place called 'Blockedlance'...which, from what I can gather, is dwarven slang for when a girl wont have sex with you.

Anyways...Blockedlance somehow became a pretty wealthy town within 4 years.  It had a steel forge, and was exporting cut diamonds, crafts, and goblin junk to all four corners of the world.  Its population reached 69, shortly before a careless miner stumbled upon warm stone.  Assuming she had struck magma, and eager to carve out a magma forge, the miner carved up and over the warm stone, hoping to channel down into the magma from above.  Unfortunately, before she could finish tunneling over the warm stone, a wall gave way before her and the miner saw a wretched mass of elves, dwarves, and humans all chained to the wall and shrieking in horror.

It was the demon pits of legend.

The miner turned and ran, but a demon had appeared and burned the miner and her two babies alive.  Flaming apparitions poured out of the pits and into the mining tunnels, where the brave warriors of Blockedlance fought and died.  A messenger was sent to the Queen informing her of the discovery of adamantine as well as the unleashing of the demons.  There was no hope that reinforcements would arrive in time.  In a last ditch attempt to defend their home, the entire citenzry was mobilized and sent deep into the earth to fight the demons with bare fists.  None survived to tell the tale.

When her majesty heard of this great frontier outpost, and of the discovery of adamantine there shortly before its destruction, she sent a reclamation party of 42 expendable dwarves.

The 42 mighty dwarves, carrying their axes, hammers, and crossbows, descended into the unholy depths of Blockedlance's ruins.  There they encountered 25 Spirits of Fire, and there they salughtered them all, losing only 6 of their number, with several more sustaining ghastly injuries.  Several dwarves were missing limbs, one was completely blinded, and many were horribly burned over large parts of their bodies.  The field of battle itself was set on fire, and Blockedlance was purified by flame.

The 36 survivors then set about rebuilding the fallen fortress...unfortunately, their wounds, and the terrors they had witnessed were too much for the poor dwarves.  Many went insane, turning on their brethren.  Through murder, starvation, and dehydration, the hapless 36 were whittled down to one...

One lone dwarf named Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs, killer of five berserk dwarves, last survivor of Blockedlance, and rebuilder of the Queen's mines!



Hail Urist!



Can she rebuild Blockedlance all by herself?  This is her tale!

[Hawkfrost]

Sounds cool.

Are you letting immigrants in or are you making it a hermit challenge ?


EDIT: I suggest bucketloads of insanity, murder, treachery, paranoia, and deceit.

[Jackrabbit]

Hooray! Another dwarf against the world!

Unless it isn't a hermit challenge.

[Roundabout Lout]

Amazing, simply amazing. A good community game, and I actually caught it when it started.
It looks like this may be another tale of DF legend.

[Mook]

Assuming the last dwarf doesn't go mad from the rotting corpses everywhere, this has epic potential.

[rickvoid]

This is really looking like it could be good. I'll keep an eye on it.

Oh, and maybe we should drop the legendary talk this early on. Migursut and Nist Akath didn't become legendary right away, and the less pressure our storyteller here feels, the better.

[jester]

"doesnt handle stress well." Nice.  I think it will be a full time job just keeping her alive if there are still corpses splattered all over the place.  Still, 5 dwarf kills, she is definatly a badass. was she armed?

[MrGimp]

Chapter #1 - The Crucible

Well it was early summer of 204.  The demons were gone, and Urist was all alone.  The whole 'fortress' (wretched pit would be more like it) was covered in blood, rotting bodies, bones, and junk...vast scattered mountains of junk.  Urist sat for a moment, calming down from the horrors she had just seen.  Just south of the entrace to the wretched pit the forest was STILL on fire, sending a massive column of smoke high into the air.  Urist knew the queen would send scouts to see what had happened to the reclaim party and these precious adamantine deposits.

She had plenty of food and booze, and her squad's mission had been to take and then hold the fortress, awaiting reinforcements.  So Urist would wait.

In the meantime, she had to get this scorched blood-covered cesspool cleaned up.  It looked like a scene from Saw.



She set about carving coffins for all the dead.  The stench from the pit called Blockedlance was her only friend for the many months.

Slowly, she carved out a small catacomb, and placed the coffins in there.  If Blockedlance held no peace for the living, maybe at least the dead might find some.



It took Urist the better part of the year, but at last she had buried the dead.  Or at least most of them.  She was tired of hauling coffins and bodies.  She decided to engrave the walls of the ruined dining hall, a task which the original dwarves of Blockedlance had not quite gotten around to before they got their free surprise cremations.



She carved happy things.  Purring maggots, five pointed stars...anything to get her mind off of the horrid stench, the rotting bodies, the blood soaked walls, and her terrible memories...

She finished carving her crude pictures, and then decided she would repair the residences of the fortress.  There were scattered beds and doors lying all around the fortress.  She decided to place them in the old rooms, so that there would be housing for any reinforcements the queen would soon send.

Happily, Urist whistled while she worked.  And then she saw it...



A DEMON!!!!!!!  A flaming, unholy apparition of firy hell!!!!!

Hadnt Urist and her comrades rid this place of them?  Holy Armok!!!

Is this it???  Is Urist going to die horribly by the hand of some random fire spirit, still haunting the grounds of Blockedlance???

Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of Urist Salvedangers, the Foggy Barbs!

[Muno syoan]

*CRUNCH*"AAAARRRGGGHHH"
The End.

Nah, I'm kidding. I'm sure Urists' death will be far more unusual than (un)spontaneous combustion.

[MrGimp]

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!" shouted Urist.  She dropped her tools, and ran straight out of the room.

Amazingly, the spirit of fire didn't immediately pursue, and Urist quickly locked the door, trapping the non-corporeal (although apparently still corporeal enough) entity of fire inside the dolomite room.

"Whew...that was too close."  She wiped the sweat off her brow and returned to her work.



She finished the remainder of the winter building beds and doors, and smoothing and engraving the stone at the top of the great stairway...which was actually a rampway...and totally half-assed and unfinished.  Whoever was the overseer of the first Blockedlance was a total idiot and douchebag to have designed such claptrap.

Speaking of the overseer, Urist was staying in the old overseer's splendid bedroom.  She also made use of the splendid office and the fine dining room.  They were the only rooms engraved by the lazy dwarves of the first Blockedlance.  Compared to her life in the military, and before that her life as a ranger, this was living high on the hog. 

Urist even began noticing that the scattered junk all around the fortress was actually valuable...at least to stupid elf and human merchants.  She was sitting on a mountain of nearly half a million dwarfbucks!



For the first time in her life, Urist was truly happy.



It was only natural that her happiness be taken away. 

She saw a band approaching Blockedlance, they were dwarves, and they carried the banner of the Queen of the Ageless Matched Lashes!  In fact, as they got closer, Urist realized that the purple robed brat leading the way was THE QUEEN HERSELF!!!!




"What the hell?  What is Cog Giltbalanced the Tactical Relief of Fortifying doing all the way out here at a place like THIS?" Urist shouted aloud in disbelief.  She turned back and looked inside the fort.  The stench of death still hung throughout the corridors.  Bones of fallen wardogs were piled waist high in the main corridor, where Urist and her team had first attempted to breach into the depths of this foul mountainside.

This place wasnt fit for a queen!  It was barely fit for ANY living thing except maggots and vultures!

But what could she do?  The Queen was here to take Urist's treasure away.



At least she brough a bone carver with her...there would be much work for him in this terrible place.

[MrGimp]

Anybody know how to crop pictures better?  I tried resizing the picture, but it keeps displaying it just as large.  Then I tried putting the pictures inside spoiler tags, but it will crop the pictures on the right side.

Thanks for all who have posted, and all who are reading.  As for where Im going with it, I have no clue.  I didnt really intend to even write a story, except that after this fort got destroyed and the lone survivor of the reclaim was named Urist, I felt obligated to tell the tale.  You know?

Im a little ahead of the story, one thing I noticed that sucks is that goblins arent attacking me, they want to trade now.  In the original Blockedlance the golbins attacked.  When I did the reclaim I checked and the Ageless Matched Lashes are still at war with the nearby goblin civ.  I dont get why they trade now?  Hopefully theyll attack me if/when I get past pop 80?  If not, Im sure as hell going to attack them.

And the elves.  Pointy eared bastards.

[Jackrabbit]

Maybe you could side with the goblins? and kill the queen, first chance you get.

Loving this story.

[Strife26]

The Queen?! Egads, what will Urist do?

[Muno syoan]

When life gives you queens, make queen-blood-ade.

[Shoruke]

"You sent me to this hellhole, and I cleaned it up all on my own, and you're not going to take it from me YOU WITCH!" *locks the doors* *initiates hermit challenge*