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[The Lupanian]

Spoiler: Doesn't this feel familiar? (click to show/hide)

Career out of running away? I've killed a quarter of the competitors, and THEN runaway. In any case, I'll put as many arrows in Firesale as I can, dodge his attacks, and then get away if possible.

Name: the Amazing Redundo
Photo: https://imgur.com/HftZcFD
Stats
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 4
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBettwr: 4
BMI: 1

Inventory
Bow - $41.32
12 Arrows (unassembled)
12 Arrowheads (unassembled)
12 Arrow Heads (Affixed to arrows) - $15.59
4 Arrows (6 in Bubba)(1 in Toys)- $24.99
Machete - $16.99
Knives (4)
TOTAL = $98.89

[Xantalos]

"You're a smart man, Redundo. Too smart! Didn't you ever consider that having so much brain means that you're hogging it from everyone else? Law of averages, sir! If you bring gum to the class, make sure you bring enough to share! And I'm angling to redistribute some of that unfairly hoarded grey matter all over the tiles. Might even seize your means of reproduction to make sure your kind don't come about no more!

It's for the children's sake."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Just like Homer Simpson collapsed that one temple in Afghanistan back before cable TV got invented, take hold of the flaming shelves on either side of the isle and pull them down on top of Mr. Redundo! Make sure I'm not in the way as I do this.

Or just charge him if that plan fucks up in some way, I suppose.

[NJW2000]

Spoiler: action (click to show/hide)

Retrieve the spear, use the binoculars to have a looksee around, and if nobody attacks, dive into shoes and get something with wheels on.

Spoiler: charsheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Bugs Viscious


Photo: Photo


Stats:
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4


Original items
Kryptonics Recruit Complete Skateboard (31" x 7.5") - $14.96
Utility Duck Tape Brand Duct Tape, Silver, 1.88 in. x 55 yd. - $2.97
Premier 4 Ft. Single Piece Metal Extension Pole 89001 - $5.47
Kitchen Knifes Set,Steak Knives, Cheese Knife, Pizza Knife, Bread Knife,Carving Knife- Multi Purpose Vibrant Stylish Kitchen Knives - $11.99
6200 Iron Non-noise Low Speeding Deep Groove Bearing Ball 10 x 30 x 9mm 10pcs - $16.55
GOLBERG Twisted Polyester Rope - White - Low Stretch, High Strength - Moisture, UV, Rot, Oil and Chemical Resistant - Rigging, Winch, String Line, Pull & Truck Rope, Crafts - 10 ft, 3/4' wide - $18.45
Ozark Trail 8x21 Lightweight Binocular, Black - $7.86
LA Linen Natural Burlap Potato Sack - $6.99
Kidde 5-B:C 3-lb Disposable Marine Fire Extinguisher - $12.44

Total: $97.68

Current Items
As above, except pole is now spear, skateboard and fire extinguisher are now miniature landspeeder in housewares, rope is now rope bits, one knife is now in Ty Dia.
Being ridden by friendly, ostensibly rabid baboon.


The unacknowledged grandson of Sid Viscious.

[King Zultan]

Well damn I got dead again.

[Radio Controlled]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Buzzzzzzz over in the direction of the checkout.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty Dia the Magnificent

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 2 => 1

starting gear
Glidden Grab-N-Go Barn & Fence, Exterior Paint, Red (14.72)
Gardner Bender Stainless Steel Cable Tie, 11 inch, 100 lb,10 Pk (7.58)

loot
a claw hammer (12.99)
pack of playing cards (5)
Star Wars TOOOOOOYS (366)
big bags of fun sized candy bars (45)
3 prepackaged costumes (135)
Japanese Colossal hornet the size of a donkey (454)

[The Lupanian]

"Hey, I didn't come about in the normal way. They made me, and shoddily at that, and even then I was a dud. And let's just say I don't have any "means of reproduction" to speak of. And i'm not smart, just lucky"

[Xantalos]

"And yet you are here! This crucible of nihilism is not for those with luck - it is the bottom of the drain, where the slime and froth of civlization swirls around a clogged pipe. We call out to the far reaches above for salvation, and they demand blood as price for their attentions. You hope to gain something from this? BRAWLMART is not a place of giving! It is a crucible of flesh, where we are reshaped into tools of the masses! I have seen my destiny, and allowed my essence to be molded into a corporate-friendly form! Under their everlasting aegis, all shall burn! AT 50% OR LOWER, LIMITED SUPPLIES AVAILABLE!"

[The Lupanian]

”And somebody smart would end up here? No one here is particularly smart or particularly lucky, but some have proven our favor, and others haven’t. I’ve proven the truth of this with my own hand. We’re all here because we’re stupid, or out of options. But if I survive, I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

[piecewise]

Another missing NG this turn. I'm gonna give it till this evening and then head splode her like the last one.

[The Lupanian]

Don’t ‘splode her, just turn her into a flesh eating zombie

[piecewise]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Buzzzzzzz over in the direction of the checkout.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty Dia the Magnificent

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 2 => 1

starting gear
Glidden Grab-N-Go Barn & Fence, Exterior Paint, Red (14.72)
Gardner Bender Stainless Steel Cable Tie, 11 inch, 100 lb,10 Pk (7.58)

loot
a claw hammer (12.99)
pack of playing cards (5)
Star Wars TOOOOOOYS (366)
big bags of fun sized candy bars (45)
3 prepackaged costumes (135)
Japanese Colossal hornet the size of a donkey (454)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty Dia skitters on his new mount over to the checkout lanes and scans in three things: His hornet, His Toys, and and his costumes. The scanner reads 955.

"You're a smart man, Redundo. Too smart! Didn't you ever consider that having so much brain means that you're hogging it from everyone else? Law of averages, sir! If you bring gum to the class, make sure you bring enough to share! And I'm angling to redistribute some of that unfairly hoarded grey matter all over the tiles. Might even seize your means of reproduction to make sure your kind don't come about no more!

It's for the children's sake."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Just like Homer Simpson collapsed that one temple in Afghanistan back before cable TV got invented, take hold of the flaming shelves on either side of the isle and pull them down on top of Mr. Redundo! Make sure I'm not in the way as I do this.

Or just charge him if that plan fucks up in some way, I suppose.

Spoiler: Doesn't this feel familiar? (click to show/hide)

Career out of running away? I've killed a quarter of the competitors, and THEN runaway. In any case, I'll put as many arrows in Firesale as I can, dodge his attacks, and then get away if possible.

Name: the Amazing Redundo
Photo: https://imgur.com/HftZcFD
Stats
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 4
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBettwr: 4
BMI: 1

Inventory
Bow - $41.32
12 Arrows (unassembled)
12 Arrowheads (unassembled)
12 Arrow Heads (Affixed to arrows) - $15.59
4 Arrows (6 in Bubba)(1 in Toys)- $24.99
Machete - $16.99
Knives (4)
TOTAL = $98.89

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[5v10][12][1][6+4v4]
Redundo draws his bow to fire at Fire Sale, aiming carefully.  And then Fire Sale grabs the entire shelfing unit from the burning sporting goods section and overturns it onto Redundo. Hundreds of pounds of metal and napalm fall on Redundo and in an instant he is gone, buried alive. Well, buried momentarily alive and then rapidly dead.

Spoiler: action (click to show/hide)

Retrieve the spear, use the binoculars to have a looksee around, and if nobody attacks, dive into shoes and get something with wheels on.

Spoiler: charsheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Bugs Viscious


Photo: Photo


Stats:
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4


Original items
Kryptonics Recruit Complete Skateboard (31" x 7.5") - $14.96
Utility Duck Tape Brand Duct Tape, Silver, 1.88 in. x 55 yd. - $2.97
Premier 4 Ft. Single Piece Metal Extension Pole 89001 - $5.47
Kitchen Knifes Set,Steak Knives, Cheese Knife, Pizza Knife, Bread Knife,Carving Knife- Multi Purpose Vibrant Stylish Kitchen Knives - $11.99
6200 Iron Non-noise Low Speeding Deep Groove Bearing Ball 10 x 30 x 9mm 10pcs - $16.55
GOLBERG Twisted Polyester Rope - White - Low Stretch, High Strength - Moisture, UV, Rot, Oil and Chemical Resistant - Rigging, Winch, String Line, Pull & Truck Rope, Crafts - 10 ft, 3/4' wide - $18.45
Ozark Trail 8x21 Lightweight Binocular, Black - $7.86
LA Linen Natural Burlap Potato Sack - $6.99
Kidde 5-B:C 3-lb Disposable Marine Fire Extinguisher - $12.44

Total: $97.68

Current Items
As above, except pole is now spear, skateboard and fire extinguisher are now miniature landspeeder in housewares, rope is now rope bits, one knife is now in Ty Dia.
Being ridden by friendly, ostensibly rabid baboon.


The unacknowledged grandson of Sid Viscious.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Bugs stops a moment to look around. To the east, he sees Fire Sale push a burning rack of sporting goods onto Redundo, mashing him flat. To the south he sees a colossal hornet being ridden by a man in a tie dye shirt heading for the checkout lanes. Hmm.  Considering Shoes has neither giant insects or pyromaniacs, Bugs heads over there and grabs himself a pair of heelies. Its the only shoe that is also kind of a bad roller skate!

Ah! There it is!

Its almost too bad. Despite his skittish nature, he was a dangerous opponent. Practical if honorless.

Yes, yes, but the fans hate people like that! They don't want pragmatism! They want crazy men riding giant insects!

What an oddly specific example.

First thing that came to my mind.

Hmm.

Regardless, looks like things are nearly at the end. I give it one more round. Two, tops.

I'm inclined to agree.

[The Lupanian]

((Did that attack deal 2 damage or 1? If it only did one damage, I should technically still be alive. Not that I think it would only deal 1 damage, but still.))

[NJW2000]

Spoiler: action (click to show/hide)

Bugs empties all the heavy iron ball bearings and rope bits onto the floor, then tosses one back in the sack to form a makeshift cosh he hands to the baboon. If this would take too long, he just gives the baboon a ball bearing and pockets two himself, leaving the rest on the ground.

He then sprints to the checkout lane, and hurls his spear javelin-like into Ty Dia's back. Possibly while balancing on his heels to fly across the polished linoleum, you never know.

Spoiler: charsheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Bugs Viscious


Photo: Photo


Stats:
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4


Original items
Kryptonics Recruit Complete Skateboard (31" x 7.5") - $14.96
Utility Duck Tape Brand Duct Tape, Silver, 1.88 in. x 55 yd. - $2.97
Premier 4 Ft. Single Piece Metal Extension Pole 89001 - $5.47
Kitchen Knifes Set,Steak Knives, Cheese Knife, Pizza Knife, Bread Knife,Carving Knife- Multi Purpose Vibrant Stylish Kitchen Knives - $11.99
6200 Iron Non-noise Low Speeding Deep Groove Bearing Ball 10 x 30 x 9mm 10pcs - $16.55
GOLBERG Twisted Polyester Rope - White - Low Stretch, High Strength - Moisture, UV, Rot, Oil and Chemical Resistant - Rigging, Winch, String Line, Pull & Truck Rope, Crafts - 10 ft, 3/4' wide - $18.45
Ozark Trail 8x21 Lightweight Binocular, Black - $7.86
LA Linen Natural Burlap Potato Sack - $6.99
Kidde 5-B:C 3-lb Disposable Marine Fire Extinguisher - $12.44

Total: $97.68

Current Items
As above, except pole is now spear, skateboard and fire extinguisher are now miniature landspeeder in housewares, rope is now rope bits, one knife is now in Ty Dia.
Being ridden by friendly, ostensibly rabid baboon.
Wearing heelies.

The unacknowledged grandson of Sid Viscious.

[Radio Controlled]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Finish scanning the bag of candy bars and proceed (I should have enough merch to go over 1000, right?).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty Dia the Magnificent

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 2 => 1

starting gear
Glidden Grab-N-Go Barn & Fence, Exterior Paint, Red (14.72)
Gardner Bender Stainless Steel Cable Tie, 11 inch, 100 lb,10 Pk (7.58)

loot
a claw hammer (12.99)
pack of playing cards (5)
Star Wars TOOOOOOYS (366)
big bags of fun sized candy bars (45)
3 prepackaged costumes (135)
Japanese Colossal hornet the size of a donkey (454)

[Xantalos]

"I salute you, crushed man! I will carry your legacy with me, and kill people with it."

One or two turns, the commentators say? Not if I have anything to say about it! Get on over to checkout and dispense ... MURDER