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[Ozarck]

Alright, In. Hang on, sheet incoming. Sheet has arrived.

Lenny 'Ox' Smalls

Photo: (someone link me a good image, but not of a real person, please.)

Strengtho: 4
BMI: 11

Inventory: $100 of precooked bacon.

[piecewise]

Updating this tomorrow morning. Stand by.

Oh and we'll be using this fan made map

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[piecewise]

WELCOME BACK! This is our third episode for this season and rather than another big box store we're on location at the 142nd annual WEEB-CON in the sunny florida exclusion zone! Comics! Toys! Anime! Dragon dildos large enough to be used as lethal weapons! Anything a socially awkward japan enthusiast could ever want! Well, besides meaningful relationships and social contact that is! HA HA HAAAAAAA.  We've taken the time to clear out all or at least most of the attendants, so don't you worry about accidently eviscerating an otaku. But that's enough preamble, lets GET IT ON!

Alright, In. Hang on, sheet incoming. Sheet has arrived.

Lenny 'Ox' Smalls

Photo: (someone link me a good image, but not of a real person, please.)

Strengtho: 4
BMI: 11

Inventory: $100 of precooked bacon.

Lenny Has a heart attack as soon as he enters is carted into the Arena and keels over, dead.

Spoiler: Potential Contestant (click to show/hide)

Name: Willy Roy Campbell the III
Photo: here
Stats:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 1
Thrustadjust: 0
Hardsy: 4
Intelectable: 0
Viewbetter: 2
BMI: 4
Purchased Items:
Hyper Tough 20V HT Charge Cordless 10 inch Auto-Oiling Chainsaw HT19-401-003-11 ($72.00)
Corona Extra Coronita Mexican Lager Beer, 6 pk 7 fl oz Bottles, 4.6% ABV ($6.48)
Zippo Windproof Satin Chrome? Pocket Lighter ($10.42)
CRESTWARE 14" W Aluminum Stock Pot Lid
Loose cigarette ()
Total cost: 94.86 or something, Bubba ain't too good at the Numbers and all that

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Willy, rather fittingly, is dropped off in the Figures section, surrounded by the Vintage porn and Hentai Merch sections.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Name: Bigsley Bobson
Photo: https://imgur.com/a/J6VaR38
Stats
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 0
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 0
BMI: 7

Inventory

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Seymour-S500-Industrial-Ditch-Bank-Blade/169834880 - Sling Blade - $43.84

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Equate-All-Purpose-First-Aid-Kit-140-Items/421170443 - First Aid Kit - $9.88

https://www.walmart.com/ip/11-25-Defender-Xtreme-Full-Tang-Serrated-Blade-Silver-Wood-Hunting-Knife-with-Sheath/139612632 - Hunting Knife - $13.99

Total $67.71

I'm betting my remaining $30 on myself surviving this round (If I can do that)

Bets are for the entire episode I'm afraid! No meta gaming the  system with single round bets you devious so and so! Not that it would matter because:

Bigs ALSO dies of a heart attack moments after waddling into the arena!
Thats 2 so far folks! You think we'll get a third?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME: Lard Lad
PHOTO: https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-XfpTt1-Pyag/TWwbVGDZ6zI/AAAAAAAAAdo/7elub0JyKZE/s320/2516.jpg

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 0
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 0
BMI: 10

ITEMS:
Pitchfork: $44.95

Lard Lad ALSO dies of a heart attack immediately upon being rolled into the arena.

THE HITS JUST KEEP COMING! By which I mean they're currently pounding on the gelatinous lard pile that is his chest! Sorry lads, I think he's at the big fryer in the sky.

After a harsh training Steve is back and more flimsy than ever.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME: Steve "Social distancer" Dickson

PHOTO: Photo

STATS:
Strengtho: 5
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 3

ITEMS:
Kayak Paddle $24,52
Synthetic Motor Oil $22,38
Mentos Mint Flavor Rolls $17.48
(2 pack) Diet Coke Soda Soft Drink, 16.9 fl oz, 6 Pack $8.62
Duck Brand Max Strength 1.88 in. x 45 yd. Duct Tape, Silver $5.97
Total: $78, 97

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Steve is dumped onto a display rack of tophats with gears glued onto them over in the Steam Punk section.

Spoiler: Butterball (click to show/hide)

Name: Butterball the Horse
Photo: https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/return-stall/
Stats:
Strengtho - 0
Speedize - 4
ThrustAdjust - 0
Hardsy - 4
Intellectable - 0
ViewBetter - 3
BMI - 4

Inventory: 3.17 kg of margarine - x12, $7.97 each
Pillsbury Silicone Brush - $3.97
Total: $99.61

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Butterball shows up in the autographs section, idly nibbling on the headshots of washed up actors!

Spoiler: Character Submission (click to show/hide)

Name: The Cleaner
Photo: Out of this world
Strengtho - 3
Speedize - 0
Thrust Adjust - 1
Hardsy - 4
Intellectable - 0
ViewBetter - 0
BMI - 7

Inventory:
7in1 Full covered Gas Mask Helmet - $55.99
Clear Ammonia 64oz Bottle 8 per Carton - $26.33
Great Value Concentrated Fabric Protection Bleach 43oz x8 - $1.98 x 8($15.84)

Total- $98.16

A fourth! A Fourth man  dies immediately on entering the arena!  Half the contestants have already been eliminated and we haven't even started!

Spoiler: Christmas in October (click to show/hide)

Name: Santa Claus
Photo: https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/614.jpg
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 1
ThrustAdjust: 1
Hardsy: 3
Intellectable: 2
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 3

Inventory:
Nothing

Total: $0

No initial purchases as all that money was added to the North Pole Sweatshop Toy Making Fund.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Santa enters the convention hall and immediately finds himself at the massive food section to the north.

We've only just begun and already half the contestants are dead! Let this be a lesson to you all: If you're so fat you have your own postal code, don't attempt to engage in death sports. Obesity within moderation, friends!

[KitRougard]

A toned, yet heavy-set man stands up from the audience, hefting a sledgehammer.
"THEY DID NOT DESERVE THEIR CHANCE, FOR THEY DID NOT WALK THE PATH OF THE SWOLE, FOUL HERETICS."

NAME: Absolutus
STATS:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 0
Hardsy: 3
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4

Purchases:
Pending

[m1895]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Willy Roy is fairly certain that these old pornos are worth a good chunk of change, so he's gonna grab as many as he can.

Spoiler: Potential Contestant (click to show/hide)

Name: Willy Roy Campbell the III
Photo: here
Stats:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 1
Thrustadjust: 0
Hardsy: 4
Intelectable: 0
Viewbetter: 2
BMI: 4
Purchased Items:
Hyper Tough 20V HT Charge Cordless 10 inch Auto-Oiling Chainsaw HT19-401-003-11 ($72.00)
Corona Extra Coronita Mexican Lager Beer, 6 pk 7 fl oz Bottles, 4.6% ABV ($6.48)
Zippo Windproof Satin Chrome? Pocket Lighter ($10.42)
CRESTWARE 14" W Aluminum Stock Pot Lid
Loose cigarette ()
Total cost: 94.86 or something, Bubba ain't too good at the Numbers and all that

[The Lupanian]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Be a monkey that randomly fell from the sky and found Bigsley’s stuff

Name: Mad Monke ~A monkey that wandered into the arena and grabbed his stuff~
Photo: https://imgur.com/a/J6VaR38 ~except as a monkey~
Stats
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 0
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 0
BMI: 4

Inventory

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Seymour-S500-Industrial-Ditch-Bank-Blade/169834880 - Sling Blade - $43.84

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Equate-All-Purpose-First-Aid-Kit-140-Items/421170443 - First Aid Kit - $9.88

https://www.walmart.com/ip/11-25-Defender-Xtreme-Full-Tang-Serrated-Blade-Silver-Wood-Hunting-Knife-with-Sheath/139612632 - Hunting Knife - $13.99

Total $67.71

[Ozarck]

R.I.P. Lenny, you big oaf. You never even got to fondle some cosplay catgirl's hair, or accidentally snap her neck while tryignto keep her from screaming when you petted her head too hard.

I bet you didn't even look at the flowers, you baconfisted meatsack.

[ziizo]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME: Steve "Social distancer" Dickson

PHOTO: Photo

STATS:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 3

ITEMS:
Kayak Paddle $24,52
Synthetic Motor Oil $22,38
Mentos Mint Flavor Rolls $17.48
(2 pack) Diet Coke Soda Soft Drink, 16.9 fl oz, 6 Pack $8.62
Duck Brand Max Strength 1.88 in. x 45 yd. Duct Tape, Silver $5.97
Total: $78, 97

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Pick a Top-hat, then keep searching for a suit, pants and shoes to go full Steam-Punk cosplayer

[Xantalos]

Spoiler: Butter butter butter SWING (click to show/hide)

Oooh, those look like shmucks would pay a lot for them! Look through the autographs with my Horse Vision and see if there's anything valuable - if so, deposit them into ... I imagine we're all carrying around shopping bags or pushing carts around or something, so Butterball would've been given saddlebags or something to put stuff in. If I don't actually have anything to carry them with, just swallow them whole - I can always regurgitate them later.

Spoiler: Butterball (click to show/hide)

Name: Butterball the Horse
Photo: https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/return-stall/
Stats:
Strengtho - 0
Speedize - 4
ThrustAdjust - 0
Hardsy - 4
Intellectable - 0
ViewBetter - 3
BMI - 4

Inventory: 3.17 kg of margarine - x12, $7.97 each
Pillsbury Silicone Brush - $3.97
Total: $99.61

[King Zultan]

Well I guess Lard Lad was to fat and just existing killed him.

[Ozarck]

Well I guess Lard Lad was to fat and just existing killed him.

((apparently 4 is the limit for BMI, like with the other stats. Too bad, I was looking forward to knocking over whole display cases with Lenny's bulk, and shoving fistfuls of bacon into his prominent, if not entirely sane, face.))

[m1895]

Heart disease, the silent killer.

[King Zultan]

Death by diabeetus, probably not the worst way to die in this game, and I was also looking forward to rolling around and stabbing people.

[piecewise]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Willy Roy is fairly certain that these old pornos are worth a good chunk of change, so he's gonna grab as many as he can.

Spoiler: Potential Contestant (click to show/hide)

Name: Willy Roy Campbell the III
Photo: here
Stats:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 1
Thrustadjust: 0
Hardsy: 4
Intelectable: 0
Viewbetter: 2
BMI: 4
Purchased Items:
Hyper Tough 20V HT Charge Cordless 10 inch Auto-Oiling Chainsaw HT19-401-003-11 ($72.00)
Corona Extra Coronita Mexican Lager Beer, 6 pk 7 fl oz Bottles, 4.6% ABV ($6.48)
Zippo Windproof Satin Chrome? Pocket Lighter ($10.42)
CRESTWARE 14" W Aluminum Stock Pot Lid
Loose cigarette ()
Total cost: 94.86 or something, Bubba ain't too good at the Numbers and all that

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[2] All the pornography that Willy seeks to steal is in a glass case! A GLASS CASE!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME: Steve "Social distancer" Dickson

PHOTO: Photo

STATS:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 3

ITEMS:
Kayak Paddle $24,52
Synthetic Motor Oil $22,38
Mentos Mint Flavor Rolls $17.48
(2 pack) Diet Coke Soda Soft Drink, 16.9 fl oz, 6 Pack $8.62
Duck Brand Max Strength 1.88 in. x 45 yd. Duct Tape, Silver $5.97
Total: $78, 97

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Pick a Top-hat, then keep searching for a suit, pants and shoes to go full Steam-Punk cosplayer

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[7] Steve loots himself an entire steampunk outfit, tophat and all. He clanks and crunches with all the random gears and clock parts someone as hot glued to this Victorian costume. +157 dollars. 

Spoiler: Butter butter butter SWING (click to show/hide)

Oooh, those look like shmucks would pay a lot for them! Look through the autographs with my Horse Vision and see if there's anything valuable - if so, deposit them into ... I imagine we're all carrying around shopping bags or pushing carts around or something, so Butterball would've been given saddlebags or something to put stuff in. If I don't actually have anything to carry them with, just swallow them whole - I can always regurgitate them later.

Spoiler: Butterball (click to show/hide)

Name: Butterball the Horse
Photo: https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/return-stall/
Stats:
Strengtho - 0
Speedize - 4
ThrustAdjust - 0
Hardsy - 4
Intellectable - 0
ViewBetter - 3
BMI - 4

Inventory: 3.17 kg of margarine - x12, $7.97 each
Pillsbury Silicone Brush - $3.97
Total: $99.61

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[7] Butterball grabs a stack of pre-signed photos of Jake Slagerton between his teeth and stuffs them in a saddle bag. 5 dollars a photo x 29 photos.

A toned, yet heavy-set man stands up from the audience, hefting a sledgehammer.
"THEY DID NOT DESERVE THEIR CHANCE, FOR THEY DID NOT WALK THE PATH OF THE SWOLE, FOUL HERETICS."

NAME: Absolutus
STATS:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 0
Hardsy: 3
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4

Purchases:
Pending

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You get tossed into the big retrogaming section.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Be a monkey that randomly fell from the sky and found Bigsley’s stuff

Name: Mad Monke ~A monkey that wandered into the arena and grabbed his stuff~
Photo: https://imgur.com/a/J6VaR38 ~except as a monkey~
Stats
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 0
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 0
BMI: 4

Inventory

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Seymour-S500-Industrial-Ditch-Bank-Blade/169834880 - Sling Blade - $43.84

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Equate-All-Purpose-First-Aid-Kit-140-Items/421170443 - First Aid Kit - $9.88

https://www.walmart.com/ip/11-25-Defender-Xtreme-Full-Tang-Serrated-Blade-Silver-Wood-Hunting-Knife-with-Sheath/139612632 - Hunting Knife - $13.99

Total $67.71

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Monke appears in the boardgame section.

[ziizo]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME: Steve "Social distancer" Dickson

PHOTO: Photo

STATS:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 3

ITEMS:
Kayak Paddle $24,52
Synthetic Motor Oil $22,38
Mentos Mint Flavor Rolls $17.48
(2 pack) Diet Coke Soda Soft Drink, 16.9 fl oz, 6 Pack $8.62
Duck Brand Max Strength 1.88 in. x 45 yd. Duct Tape, Silver $5.97
Total: $78, 97

Entire steampunk outfit $157

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Move towards the Bottom Right of the Store if the memes are right just a pair of tabletop figurines from the boardgame/toys section should be enough to reach the $1000

[/quote]