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[piecewise]

((Did that attack deal 2 damage or 1? If it only did one damage, I should technically still be alive. Not that I think it would only deal 1 damage, but still.))

((Nah, that one actually did do 2 damage))

"I salute you, crushed man! I will carry your legacy with me, and kill people with it."

One or two turns, the commentators say? Not if I have anything to say about it! Get on over to checkout and dispense ... MURDER

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Finish scanning the bag of candy bars and proceed (I should have enough merch to go over 1000, right?).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ty Dia the Magnificent

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 2 => 1

starting gear
Glidden Grab-N-Go Barn & Fence, Exterior Paint, Red (14.72)
Gardner Bender Stainless Steel Cable Tie, 11 inch, 100 lb,10 Pk (7.58)

loot
a claw hammer (12.99)
pack of playing cards (5)
Star Wars TOOOOOOYS (366)
big bags of fun sized candy bars (45)
3 prepackaged costumes (135)
Japanese Colossal hornet the size of a donkey (454)

Spoiler: action (click to show/hide)

Bugs empties all the heavy iron ball bearings and rope bits onto the floor, then tosses one back in the sack to form a makeshift cosh he hands to the baboon. If this would take too long, he just gives the baboon a ball bearing and pockets two himself, leaving the rest on the ground.

He then sprints to the checkout lane, and hurls his spear javelin-like into Ty Dia's back. Possibly while balancing on his heels to fly across the polished linoleum, you never know.

Spoiler: charsheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Bugs Viscious


Photo: Photo


Stats:
Strengtho: 2
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 2
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 4


Original items
Kryptonics Recruit Complete Skateboard (31" x 7.5") - $14.96
Utility Duck Tape Brand Duct Tape, Silver, 1.88 in. x 55 yd. - $2.97
Premier 4 Ft. Single Piece Metal Extension Pole 89001 - $5.47
Kitchen Knifes Set,Steak Knives, Cheese Knife, Pizza Knife, Bread Knife,Carving Knife- Multi Purpose Vibrant Stylish Kitchen Knives - $11.99
6200 Iron Non-noise Low Speeding Deep Groove Bearing Ball 10 x 30 x 9mm 10pcs - $16.55
GOLBERG Twisted Polyester Rope - White - Low Stretch, High Strength - Moisture, UV, Rot, Oil and Chemical Resistant - Rigging, Winch, String Line, Pull & Truck Rope, Crafts - 10 ft, 3/4' wide - $18.45
Ozark Trail 8x21 Lightweight Binocular, Black - $7.86
LA Linen Natural Burlap Potato Sack - $6.99
Kidde 5-B:C 3-lb Disposable Marine Fire Extinguisher - $12.44

Total: $97.68

Current Items
As above, except pole is now spear, skateboard and fire extinguisher are now miniature landspeeder in housewares, rope is now rope bits, one knife is now in Ty Dia.
Being ridden by friendly, ostensibly rabid baboon.
Wearing heelies.

The unacknowledged grandson of Sid Viscious.

[3][7][3]
Bugs and Fire Sale both take off at a sprint, heading towards the checkout lanes, but by the time they reach them the prize girls and the host are already surrounding Ty and shaking his hand.

"Congratulations you big lug!" The host says, patting Ty on the shoulder a few times before seditiously wiping his hand against the leg of his pants.  "Our winner by checkout is TY DIA!"

He shoves the microphone in Ty's face and asks the question the audience is cheering for,  "What is it you wish for?"

[Radio Controlled]

[3][7][3]
Bugs and Fire Sale both take off at a sprint, heading towards the checkout lanes, but by the time they reach them the prize girls and the host are already surrounding Ty and shaking his hand.

"Congratulations you big lug!" The host says, patting Ty on the shoulder a few times before seditiously wiping his hand against the leg of his pants.  "Our winner by checkout is TY DIA!"

He shoves the microphone in Ty's face and asks the question the audience is cheering for,  "What is it you wish for?"

"I am a generous man, so all I ask for is a chicken in every pot and two Japanese Colossal hornets the size of a donkey in every child's bedroom!"

[m1895]

Spoiler: Potential Contestant (click to show/hide)

Name: Willy Roy Campbell the III
Photo: here
Stats:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 1
Thrustadjust: 0
Hardsy: 4
Intelectable: 0
Viewbetter: 2
BMI: 4
Purchased Items:
Hyper Tough 20V HT Charge Cordless 10 inch Auto-Oiling Chainsaw HT19-401-003-11 ($72.00)
Corona Extra Coronita Mexican Lager Beer, 6 pk 7 fl oz Bottles, 4.6% ABV ($6.48)
Zippo Windproof Satin Chrome? Pocket Lighter ($10.42)
CRESTWARE 14" W Aluminum Stock Pot Lid
Loose cigarette ()
Total cost: 94.86 or something, Bubba ain't too good at the Numbers and all that

[piecewise]

[3][7][3]
Bugs and Fire Sale both take off at a sprint, heading towards the checkout lanes, but by the time they reach them the prize girls and the host are already surrounding Ty and shaking his hand.

"Congratulations you big lug!" The host says, patting Ty on the shoulder a few times before seditiously wiping his hand against the leg of his pants.  "Our winner by checkout is TY DIA!"

He shoves the microphone in Ty's face and asks the question the audience is cheering for,  "What is it you wish for?"

"I am a generous man, so all I ask for is a chicken in every pot and two Japanese Colossal hornets the size of a donkey in every child's bedroom!"

"You have my solemn promise we will systematically place giant hornets and chickens into the homes of every American. If they're lucky we'll even take the time to train the hornets and kill the chickens! We shall not rest until this wish is complete or  until they find some kind of legal precedent to stop us."


"Thats it for episode 2 of  BRAWLMART folks! Tune in for episode 3 REAAAAAAAL SOOOOON!"

[piecewise]

Sign up ya hooligans!

[m1895]

Spoiler: Potential Contestant (click to show/hide)

Name: Willy Roy Campbell the III
Photo: here
Stats:
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 1
Thrustadjust: 0
Hardsy: 4
Intelectable: 0
Viewbetter: 2
BMI: 4
Purchased Items:
Hyper Tough 20V HT Charge Cordless 10 inch Auto-Oiling Chainsaw HT19-401-003-11 ($72.00)
Corona Extra Coronita Mexican Lager Beer, 6 pk 7 fl oz Bottles, 4.6% ABV ($6.48)
Zippo Windproof Satin Chrome? Pocket Lighter ($10.42)
CRESTWARE 14" W Aluminum Stock Pot Lid
Loose cigarette ()
Total cost: 94.86 or something, Bubba ain't too good at the Numbers and all that

[The Lupanian]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Name: Bigsley Bobson
Photo: https://imgur.com/a/J6VaR38
Stats
Strengtho: 4
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 0
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 0
BMI: 7

Inventory

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Seymour-S500-Industrial-Ditch-Bank-Blade/169834880 - Sling Blade - $43.84

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Equate-All-Purpose-First-Aid-Kit-140-Items/421170443 - First Aid Kit - $9.88

https://www.walmart.com/ip/11-25-Defender-Xtreme-Full-Tang-Serrated-Blade-Silver-Wood-Hunting-Knife-with-Sheath/139612632 - Hunting Knife - $13.99

Total $67.71

I'm betting my remaining $30 on myself surviving this round (If I can do that)

[King Zultan]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME: Lard Lad
PHOTO: https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-XfpTt1-Pyag/TWwbVGDZ6zI/AAAAAAAAAdo/7elub0JyKZE/s320/2516.jpg

STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 0
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 0
BMI: 10

ITEMS:
Pitchfork: $44.95

[Dustan Hache]

Wos dis about a casting couch? How can i get it?

[ziizo]

After a harsh training Steve is back and more flimsy than ever.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME: Steve "Social distancer" Dickson

PHOTO: Photo

STATS:
Strengtho: 5
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 0
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 3

ITEMS:
Kayak Paddle $24,52
Synthetic Motor Oil $22,38
Mentos Mint Flavor Rolls $17.48
(2 pack) Diet Coke Soda Soft Drink, 16.9 fl oz, 6 Pack $8.62
Duck Brand Max Strength 1.88 in. x 45 yd. Duct Tape, Silver $5.97
Total: $78, 97

[piecewise]

Wos dis about a casting couch? How can i get it?

By creating a character. Check the OP for instructions.

[Xantalos]

Spoiler: Butterball (click to show/hide)

Name: Butterball the Horse
Photo: https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/return-stall/
Stats:
Strengtho - 0
Speedize - 4
ThrustAdjust - 0
Hardsy - 4
Intellectable - 0
ViewBetter - 3
BMI - 4

Inventory: 3.17 kg of margarine - x12, $7.97 each
Pillsbury Silicone Brush - $3.97
Total: $99.61

[Failbird105]

Spoiler: Character Submission (click to show/hide)

Name: The Cleaner
Photo: Out of this world
Strengtho - 3
Speedize - 0
Thrust Adjust - 1
Hardsy - 4
Intellectable - 0
ViewBetter - 0
BMI - 7

Inventory:
7in1 Full covered Gas Mask Helmet - $55.99
Clear Ammonia 64oz Bottle 8 per Carton - $26.33
Great Value Concentrated Fabric Protection Bleach 43oz x8 - $1.98 x 8($15.84)

Total- $98.16

[piecewise]

Room for 2 more.

[Screech9791]

Spoiler: Christmas in October (click to show/hide)

Name: Santa Claus
Photo: https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/614.jpg
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 1
ThrustAdjust: 1
Hardsy: 3
Intellectable: 2
ViewBetter: 2
BMI: 3

Inventory:
Nothing

Total: $0

No initial purchases as all that money was added to the North Pole Sweatshop Toy Making Fund.