NAME: Steve "Social distancer" Dickson
PHOTO:
PhotoSTATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 3
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 1
Intellectable: 2
ViewBetter: 3
ITEMS:
Kayak Paddle $24,52
Jawbusters $32,17
Synthetic Motor Oil $22,38
Total: $79,07
$338,94 in 3 Letgo Sets (Castle Spaceship, Dragon)
Move towards the Electronics Aisle, If ahead of the person screaming drop Oil in their path to make them slip. If not get ready to hit them with the Kayak Paddle in the head.
[6,9,5,7]
Steve comes bounding out of the Toy section and skids to a stop right behind Bary[2,6] Bary, focused on the Garlic King to the West, doesn't notice Steve, though Garlic King does.
[9,4,8][1]
Steve charges up behind Bary and takes a baseball swing at Bary's Bin head with his Kayak Paddle. The blow misses by at least 3 feet and throws Steve so off balance that he ends up tumbling, falling face first and sliding comically into the area between Garlic King and Bary. When he finally shakes himself and looks up, both Bary and GK are gone and he's alone in the walkway.
Now that I have a proper weapon it is time to get to the electronics and see what the most expensive thing I can find is, also if I find anyone else there hit them in the face with my squeegee thing.
NAME: Bin Head Bary
PHOTO:
https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/0-1.jpegSTATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 2
Hardsy: 3
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
ITEMS:
1: Makeshift armour made of towels and tape
2: Rolls of Duct Tape
1: Used roll of Duct Tape
1: 18 Piece Screwdriver set
1: Squeegee with two screwdrivers taped to it
1: 6 Piece screwdriver set
1: 4 Piece screwdriver set
4: 4 Pack 60W light bulbs
[6,9,5,7]
Bary clomps out of the fashion section and into the main walkway on his way towards Electronics. [5] He catches a whiff of something and spins around, catching the Garlic king in the open to the East.
[9,4,8][1]
Steve suddenly comes sliding face first into the area between Garlic King and Bary. Bary looks from Steve to Garlic King and turns tail, ducking into the DVD Aisle of the Electronics section.
Tape a baking sheet to my torso for use as armor, then head slightly north-east, looting valuable items along the way. At the first sight of anyone out of melee range, spear them with a knife javelin! If they're too close, crush their skull with my hammer.
[spoiler=Char Sheet]Name: Billy 'Responsible Parent' Beatstick
PhotoSTATZ:
4 Strengtho
1 Speedize
2 Thrustadjust
4 Hardsy
0 Intellectable
3 Viewbetter
1 BMI
Inventory:
3 Knife Javelins, 2 ft long
1 Cotton Torch, 4 ft long (unlit)
1 Sledgehammer (not yet anointed with blood)
2 cans of WD-40
20 Lighters
2 Rolls of Tape
3 Packs of Juicy Fruit (It's Gonna Move Ya)
Loot:
Various pots and pans ($117.50)
[6,9,5,7]
Billy clanks out in his makeshift pots and pans armor and into the Toy Aisles. He loots 78 dollars worth collectable action figures.
NAME: Garlic King
PHOTO:
https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/the-garlic-king/STATS:
Strengtho: 1
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 2
Hardsy: 4
Intellectable: 2
ViewBetter: 3
BMI +1
Items:
Some Delicious Morton Garlic Salt, with which to blind my foes!(3.56)
Two bags, two pounds each, of garlic big enough to be used effectively in a potato gun!(18.99x2 = 37.98)
The Urban Warrior incendiary potato gun! Because those cheap toys are unworthy of delivering GARLIC NIRVANA!(49.99)
1 Bottle Lil Buns Baby Cornstarch (17.00)
Total: 108.53
Well well well well. The DIY section - a place of oddly useful utilities. Superglue, glitter, duct tape. And a target.
Load the Urban Warrior with one round of DELICIOUS GARLIC! Then zip to the DIY aisle, and catch them unaware with a well-aimed GARLIC TO THE HEAD!
Important-Before running for the shot, pull out the Generic Totally Worthless Smartphone and register a vote for the first SUPER SHOPPER: Karen. She's convinced everyone here works here and knows where the manager is, and SO HELP HER SHE WILL KILL ANYONE WHO GETS IN THE WAY OF HER AND THE MANAGER.
[6,9,5,7]
Bary is the first out, clomping out of the fashion section and into the main walkway on his way towards Electronics. The Garlic king is next, scampering out of the Baby aisles and catching sight of Bary. [5] Bary catches a whiff of something and spins around, catching the Garlic king in the open. Then Steve comes bounding out of the Toy section behind Bary, arms full of expensive Letgo sets [2,6] Bary, focused on the garlic king, doesn't notice Steve, though Garlic King does. Billy is the last one out, clanking out in his makeshift pots and pans armor. [1] He doesn't even notice the three way standoff to his left and just clanks his way into the Toy Aisles.
[9,4,8][1]
Steve charges up behind Bary and takes a baseball swing at Bary's Bin head with his Kayak Paddle. The blow misses by at least 3 feet and throws Steve so off balance that he ends up tumbling, falling face first and sliding comically into the area between Garlic King and Bary. Bary looks from Steve to Garlic King and turns tail, ducking into the DVD Aisle of the Electronics section. Garlic King shrugs, hops over Steve's sprawled body, and makes for the DIY section.
[1][1v6]
Juliana is carefully, and very slowly, examining an industrial sized bottle of rubber cement when the Garlic King comes skidding around the corner. Juliana is too absorbed in her inspection and doesn't notice as GK takes aim with his garlic launcher. [5v3,4v2] Despite being a novelty vegetable propulsion device for ages 14 and up, the garlic launcher proves surprisingly deadly as a high speed chunk of smoldering garlic catches Juliana directly in the head. This doesn't kill her however. What kills her is when she goes face first into the giant glass jar of highly flammable rubber cement which is then ignited by the smoldering garlic. She runs around for a fair few sections, head encased in burning glue, bouncing off shelves and lighting craft paper and glitter on fire before dropping to the ground.
A sprinkler kicks on a few seconds later to helpfully douse the corpse.
((Sorry about the character sheets thing))
THIS GAME IS FUCKING RIGGED
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
((This is an RTD. Do you think Piecewise is fudging rolls? Or are you the death the announcer talked about and are mad about that? I’m sure the game isn’t rigged))
Grab some paint, and head over to where glue is and get it too. If I can’t carry both, glue takes priority. Try to avoid others along the way. If someone is detected nearby, try lassoing them
[1][1v6]
Juliana is carefully, and very slowly, examining an industrial sized bottle of rubber cement when the Garlic King comes skidding around the corner. Juliana is too absorbed in her inspection and doesn't notice as GK takes aim with his garlic launcher. [5v3,4v2] Despite being a novelty vegetable propulsion device for ages 14 and up, the garlic launcher proves surprisingly deadly as a high speed chunk of smoldering garlic catches Juliana directly in the head. This doesn't kill her however. What kills her is when she goes face first into the giant glass jar of highly flammable rubber cement which is then ignited by the smoldering garlic. She runs around for a fair few sections, head encased in burning glue, bouncing off shelves and lighting craft paper and glitter on fire before dropping to the ground.
A sprinkler kicks on a few seconds later to helpfully douse the corpse.
Bread Man begins laughing maniacally and grabbing all the bread from the nearby shelves, shedding them from their plastic-bag-prisons and beginning to augment his defenses with layers of delicious fresh bread all over his body.
Breadman, to the surprise of absolutely no one, spends several minutes taping more bread to himself while laughing.
Lay in wait for unsuspecting victims. If somebody trips on the wires, finish them with the bow.
By the way, the bow I bought Theoretically comes with two target arrows, do I have those in addition to the ones I bought, or should I keep it simple and only use the ones I specifically bought?
NAME: Sheauwn-Dagger Smith
PHOTO: Photo
STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 1
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 4
ITEMS:
Hatchets - $22.99
Bow - $33.88
Arrows x3 (1 more unrecovered) - $23.92
Matches - $5.49
Lighter Fluid - $4.57
Paracord - $3.94
Bubble Gum - $2.24
Total = 97.03
Hmm. Nothing yet. Smoke coming from the DIY section though. Oh and the fire sprinklers went off over there. Hmm.
AUDIENCE VIEW
[6,9,5,7]
Bary is the first out, clomping out of the fashion section and into the main walkway on his way towards Electronics. The Garlic king is next, scampering out of the Baby aisles and catching sight of Bary. [5] Bary catches a whiff of something and spins around, catching the Garlic king in the open. Then Steve comes bounding out of the Toy section behind Bary, arms full of expensive Letgo sets [2,6] Bary, focused on the garlic king, doesn't notice Steve, though Garlic King does. Billy is the last one out, clanking out in his makeshift pots and pans armor. [1] He doesn't even notice the three way standoff to his left and just clanks his way into the Toy Aisles.
[9,4,8][1]
Steve charges up behind Bary and takes a baseball swing at Bary's Bin head with his Kayak Paddle. The blow misses by at least 3 feet and throws Steve so off balance that he ends up tumbling, falling face first and sliding comically into the area between Garlic King and Bary. Bary looks from Steve to Garlic King and turns tail, ducking into the DVD Aisle of the Electronics section. Garlic King shrugs, hops over Steve's sprawled body, and makes for the DIY section.
[1][1v6]
Juliana is carefully, and very slowly, examining an industrial sized bottle of rubber cement when the Garlic King comes skidding around the corner. Juliana is too absorbed in her inspection and doesn't notice as GK takes aim with his garlic launcher. [5v3,4v2] Despite being a novelty vegetable propulsion device for ages 14 and up, the garlic launcher proves surprisingly deadly as a high speed chunk of smoldering garlic catches Juliana directly in the head. This doesn't kill her however. What kills her is when she goes face first into the giant glass jar of highly flammable rubber cement which is then ignited by the smoldering garlic. She runs around for a fair few sections, head encased in burning glue, bouncing off shelves and lighting craft paper and glitter on fire before dropping to the ground.
A sprinkler kicks on a few seconds later to helpfully douse the corpse.
Breadman, to the surprise of absolutely no one, spends several minutes taping more bread to himself while laughing.
Smith just keeps watch, waiting for someone to step into his trap. He notices the smoke from the DIY aisle.
Its a comedy of errors folks! Slapstick at its finest! Only in Brawl-Mart can four men enter the ring of mortal combat and only one end up injured, and by himself no less! Ah, but that Glue napalm was quite a thing wasn't it folks? Did you see her flailing for her insignificant life? 23 years of effort, all to suffocate on burning glue. Marvelous!
Only one more turn till the SUUUUUUUPER SHOOOOPERS make their appearance!
Author
Topic: BRAWL-MART: Episode 3: Screech, Rustle, Clang. (Read 31869 times)