((Remember to post your character sheets along with your actions everyone))
Get my bow ready if the raccoon attacks. Go to the checkout counter and set up triplines across the aisles (to trip people, not to trigger anything). Hide and wait to ambush people with my bow and arrow.
NAME: Sheauwn-Dagger Smith
PHOTO: Photo
STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 1
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 4
ITEMS:
Hatchets - $22.99
Bow - $33.88
Arrows x4 - $23.92
Matches - $5.49
Lighter Fluid - $4.57
Paracord - $3.94
Bubble Gum - $2.24
Total = 97.03
[3v5][3v7][3v4]
Raccoon tosses the fry he was eating and takes off towards Smith at a dead sprint, screeching the entire way. Smith, who had already spotted the raccoon even before it started its screaming charge, takes a knee and nocks an arrow. He draws the the bow taut and waits as the Raccoon gets closer. It dips and weaves but just as it reaches the courtesy desk Smith looses the arrow and it strikes home dead between the the Raccoon's eyes and the critter goes skidding into the bank lobby, dead. Smith cocks a silent eyebrow at the whole situation.
[9]
He spends several minutes and uses up his paracord setting a series of tripwires across the 'openings' of all the checkout lanes. He then scampers over to the vision center and crouches down behind an eyeglasses display, peeking out via a mirror on the display. He hears shouting coming from the north and north west, but can only make out bits and pieces about bread and electronics.
haha fuck you i'm sending my action via PM muahahaahaha
[3v5][3v7][3v4]
Raccoon tosses the fry he was eating and takes off towards Smith at a dead sprint, screeching the entire way. Smith, who had already spotted the raccoon even before it started its screaming charge, takes a knee and nocks an arrow. He draws the the bow taut and waits as the Raccoon gets closer. It dips and weaves but just as it reaches the courtesy desk Smith looses the arrow and it strikes home dead between the the Raccoon's eyes and the critter goes skidding into the bank lobby, dead. Smith cocks a silent eyebrow at the whole situation.
[9]
He spends several minutes and uses up his paracord setting a series of tripwires across the 'openings' of all the checkout lanes. He then scampers over to the vision center and crouches down behind an eyeglasses display, peeking out via a mirror on the display. He hears shouting coming from the north and north west, but can only make out bits and pieces about bread and electronics.
Quickly use a roll of duct tape to tape one towel to each of my arms and legs, and use some more tape to tape two of my screwdrivers to the squeegee so it'll hurt more when I hit stuff with it, then once I finish all of that try to figure out where the electronic are is.
You rapidly fashion yourself makeshift armor out of towels and duct tape before creating a...weapon out of tape, screwdrivers, and a squeegee. To your credit, it does like being hit with it would hurt. How much is hard to say. Thus outfitted, you sit and try to remember where the electronics section is in this store. They let you see a map before you came here....
[4]
"Of course! To get to electronics I just have to head North, then take the West- East path a bit East and I should be right there!"
You shout this entire thing at the top of your lungs because you're so goddamn surprised you remembered it.
The Garlic KingNAME: Garlic King
PHOTO:
https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/the-garlic-king/STATS:
Strengtho: 1
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 2
Hardsy: 4
Intellectable: 2
ViewBetter: 3
BMI +1
Items:
Some Delicious Morton Garlic Salt, with which to blind my foes!(3.56)
Two bags, two pounds each, of garlic big enough to be used effectively in a potato gun!(18.99x2 = 37.98)
The Urban Warrior incendiary potato gun! Because those cheap toys are unworthy of delivering GARLIC NIRVANA!(49.99)
Total: 91.53
"Tch. Of all the places, the baby aisle. Oh well..." he muttered, whipping out his Totally Worthless Generic Smartphone to look up a quick fact.
"It would appear cornstarch based baby powder is delightfully incendiary in the proper conditions! Say, a large cloud of the stuff made from shooting it out of a potato cannon...Go deeper in, grab some bottles of cornstarch baby powder, then look out the end of the aisle to figure out what the next loot-location is.
You crawl out of the ice cream freezer and scamper across the main path and over to the baby section. [6] You find one bottle of "Lil Buns" Baby Cornstarch for 17 dollars and scoop it up. Bottle in hand you jog to the end of the aisle and look around. The area next to you is a sort of C shaped section with low shelves for shoes, and beyond that Electronics. Back the way you came, to the west, is all the grocery stuff, and directly in front of you, south, is the fashion section.
From the fashion section you hear someone yell, "Of course! To get to electronics I just have to head North, then take the West- East path a bit East and I should be right there!" Then, as though in answer, someone from grocery screams "I WILL NOW PROCEED TO TAKE MAH BREAD KNIFE, AND MAH NYLON ROPE! I WILL THEN CUT THE ROPE SO THAT I HAVE TWO ADEQUATELY SIZED PIECES, ABOUT A FOOT LONG, AND PUT THE REST OF THE ROPE AWAY! I WILL THEN TIE TWO BREAD BAGS TO EACH OF THE ROPES, ONE AT EACH END, SO THAT THE ROPES ARE LINKING THE TOPS OF THE BREAD BAGS! VOILA! I NOW HAVE DUAL SETS OF BREAD NUN-CHUCKS TA BEAT Y'ALL TA DEATH WITH! I CALL 'EM, BREAD-CHUCKS!"
[9]
To the east, near the tire and lube, you see someone dart into the DIY section. Pretty sure it was Juliana.
Bread Man scoffed at the apparent secrecy in which the other contestants were acting. Opting out of such cowardice, he instead decided to scream his actions at the top of his lungs.
"I WILL NOW PROCEED TO TAKE MAH BREAD KNIFE, AND MAH NYLON ROPE! I WILL THEN CUT THE ROPE SO THAT I HAVE TWO ADEQUATELY SIZED PIECES, ABOUT A FOOT LONG, AND PUT THE REST OF THE ROPE AWAY! I WILL THEN TIE TWO BREAD BAGS TO EACH OF THE ROPES, ONE AT EACH END, SO THAT THE ROPES ARE LINKING THE TOPS OF THE BREAD BAGS! VOILA! I NOW HAVE DUAL SETS OF BREAD NUN-CHUCKS TA BEAT Y'ALL TA DEATH WITH! I CALL 'EM, BREAD-CHUCKS!"
After shouting your plans to the rest of the store you immediately drop onto your stomach and kick your feet while doing exactly as you said you were going to. After a few minutes you've fashioned your Bread-Chucks. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.
Billy rages at the loss of his precious beer-and-excessive-calories-gut. "I have been DEPRIVED of SMOKED jalapeño barbecue RIIIBS with extra bacon by my LOVING WIFE on account of my HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE and unresolved INADEQUACY ISSUES," he proclaims in a reality tv-style talking head cutaway that he may or may not be imagining. "Joy and MEANING has fled FROM my existence! Something something JOBS! My only recourse is to DOUSE MY SOUL in the calorie-rich BLOOD of my fellow patriots, and transcend my societal woes in SANGUINARY NIRVANA!"
I'll do however many of these I can do in a round (just on account of being unsure how 'long' each turn is):
- Tape my three knives to my three wooden poles to create javelins.
- Use tape, torn strips of my cotton, my 4-foot metal pole, and WD-40 to create an improvised torch by wrapping the cotton around the end of the pole and soaking it in fluid. Won't light it yet though.
- Look for stuff like aluminum baking sheets or griddle pans that I can tape to my torso for both items and body armor.
- If I happen to spot anyone, throw knife javelins at them from afar and finish them off with my sledgehammer.
[4]
You get to work, rapidly taping your knives to the wooden poles and then fashioning a torch from the cotton, WD-40, and Metal pole. You might have used too much WD-40 though...since you use up the entire container and the cotton is absolutely goddamn soaked and leaking down the pole and onto your hands.
[9]
You gather a small stack of skillets, pans, and baking sheets from the shelves around you. Together they all total 117.50 in value.
From the west you hear someone shout "Of course! To get to electronics I just have to head North, then take the West- East path a bit East and I should be right there!" A few seconds later someone else, further away but still to the east, shouts something as well. But they're too far away for you to really make it out.
Aren't toys like super expensive now, surely finding a portable one costing over $1000 can't be that hard
You army crawl along the aisle, gathering the biggest and most expensive Letgo sets from the lowest shelf. You get a big castle, a spaceship shaped like a fist, and even a dragon! It totals 338.94 dollars.
From the south someone shouts, "Of course! To get to electronics I just have to head North, then take the West- East path a bit East and I should be right there!"
Place a scalpel blade on the handle while heading south to the DIY store[/transparent]
You attach a blade to the scalpel handle and dash into the DIY section. This section seems to mostly be arts and crafts stuff and party supplies by the look of it, with some random things like different kinds of glues and containers mixed in. You end up in an aisle of sketch books, paints, and colored pencils. To the west you hear someone shout, and then someone even further west shout in response. You can't make out what they're saying.
AAAAAND BULLSEYE! What a start to this round, with a death at the checkout stands already! Normally we'd have to wait a bit to see a slaughter over here but our contestants seem to be upping the stakes this season! Ha Ha. And we have not one, but two loud mouths shouting for all the world to hear! Lets home that doesn't come back to bite them in the end!
Two turns until the first SUUUUUPER SHOPPER is released into the store! Vote now on which one we send out!
Author
Topic: BRAWL-MART: Episode 3: Screech, Rustle, Clang. (Read 31866 times)