Turn 29(Init:Thainos, Adam, Joshua, Slash, Ssarscel, Shaun.)
(I did adjust the order of actions just for what I considered a better story, but they were judged based on this order.)
Cower and attempt to will myself home.
5Oh noes, if only he had a way to teleport people and or things Oh wait.
Thainos cleches his fist and teleports Sscarcel or whashisname to him via magic portal before sucker punching him and taking hia thumb drive.
5, 1 vs 3Sneak attack Thainos by throwing my cowboy spurs at his back and head.
6 vs 4Find an auxiliary control room, and switch control to it. Land on the tallest building in Genericville, link the external doorway of the TARDIS to the control room in which stands Thainos, and slowly shift the gravity of thst control room to tip towards the exit. Send a voice recording to the room, yelling Push Thainos out! If any of th’ rest of youse fall out, I’ll come back in th’ future t’ break yer fall!
1+1 for hat, +1 for living here for six years.Pull out another powerful artifact to defeat thainos with!
1Adam reached out to the power of the Doom Mug Milk
"Hello, Doom Mug Milk. I'd like to remind you of who I am. I am Angelo and Diablo. I am Adam Simon. I am Nephilim. I am the guy who has destroyed your stupid vessel so many times now it isn't even funny anymore. In conclusion I own your ass so teleport yourself to me or else."
Get the space milk to teleport itself out of Thainos's glove and to me.
1(Mariachi Drone:Attack Adam)
6+1 vs 3+1Thainos clenches his fist and opens a quick portal to reach Ssarscel and the Infinity Milk scans. The chupacabra looks up in utter horror to see the Mad Titan staring him down. Thainos hurls down a gloved fist to quickly crush Ssarcel and reclaim his destiny. Ssarscel yelps and throws up his hands to defend himself. Thainos looks on with confusion and a hint of respect as Ssarscel's natural chupacabra strength instinctually takes hold, allowing him to hold Thainos' fist in place for a moment. Thainos raises his other fist to punch again, but then a pair of hurled cowboy spurs implant themselves in his back. Thainos whips around to see Joshua standing in the door of the TARDIS, as Ssarscel clings to the Glove out of sheer panic. As the Titan and Joshua approach each other, Ssarscel desperately wishes he could be where he was a few minutes ago, when things were safe. As he does so, his hand is gripping the Doom Milk. A portal opens and Ssarscel drops to a point elsewhere in the universe.
Back on the TARDIS, Adam tries appealing directly to the Doom Milk.
"Hello, Doom Mug Milk. I'd like to remind you of who I am. I am Angelo and Diablo. I am Adam Simon. I am Nephilim. I am the guy who has destroyed your stupid vessel so many times now it isn't even funny anymore. In conclusion I own your ass so teleport yourself to me or else." What replies can barely be called a consciousness. It is more of a pure urge to destroy and devastate, devoid of any real self-awareness beyond a ferocious will to destroy and an awareness of its proper wielder.
"NEPHILIM? WHO ARE YOU? THE ONLY TRUE MASTER IS ATHATH. WHERE ARE THEY? WHY IS THIS NOT FALLING? BRING DEATH FOR ATHATH! BRING DESTRUCTION FOR ATHATH!" As Adam considers how to communicate with the entity, the mariachi drone lands on his head and bursts into flames.
Slash Ashford has another trick up his sleeve. From his pack, he draws the Sword of the Mountain Troll. This massive blade requires a great deal of effort and secrets to acquire. First, he had to train pigeons for a wastelander. When that was done, he was given a blue pigeon, which he showed to one of the Dairy Queen's satyrs in order to get the chance to trade medicine for a woodcutter's saw. Consulting his guides, Slash knew to trade that saw to a craftsman in Manchester for a broken sword. Then, he climbed Mount Washington, braving deadly spiders for the chance to talk to the Mountain Troll. The Mountain Troll knew how to repair the sword, but his eyes were irritated by the dust of the Doom Mug. Slash went back to Manchester and captured a frog in order to make for special eyedrops. Once that was done, Slash was able to work his way up the mountain again, speak to the Mountain Troll, and finally convince it to reforge the broken sword. Finally, Slash had acquired the great and terrible power of the Sword of the Mountain Troll, the mightiest blade in all the wastes.
Slash drew the sword with a bone-chilling
shiiing and a flourish, which unfortunately gave Thainos enough warning to notice what was coming and snap the blade in his hands. Oh well.
Shaun goes looking for an auxiliary control room, but Thainos guesses what he's up to as soon as he locates one and slams a boot down on the main control panel, keeping the controls locked to that room for now.
Far away, Ssarscel drops out of the portal in the dust of the last place he felt at all safe, the wreck of the Moloko. Perhaps his sense of safety doesn't last long, however. An intimidating metallic figure slowly clanks out of the ship's corpse.
"Hello. We really need to talk, Ssarscel."Throw the lance to the side and charge to Yoink with my fists.
WIELD UNICORN HORN POINT-DOWNWARDS, KNIFE-FIGHTER STYLE
CIRCLE ADAM UNTIL I SEE OPPORTUNITY, THEN LUNGE. MAYBE WHILE HE DISTRACTED BY PARTICULARLY GRIM, BRUTAL BIT OF BLACKENED UKULELE RIFFAGE PLAYING IN DISTANCE? TRY AND STICK IT SOMEWHERE PAINFUL AND/OR VITAL
BLOCK ANY STRIKES WITH FREE HAND, MAYBE TRY AND GRAB WRIST IF HAVE THE CHANCE
(You don't really have a free hand anymore, but I get the idea.)
6Yoink vs Adam:3 vs 3+2Unicorn vs Yoink:2 vs 6+1The duel begins. Adam throws away his weapon and charges Yoink with reckless fury. Yoink takes a more cautious approach, dodging back, brandishing the horn in his remaining hand, and waiting for an opening. It finally comes when Adam throws a punch a bit too hard, which Yoink dodges and takes the opening to stab Adam in the back with the horn. As Yoink starts to twist, the Unicorn's patience runs dry. The now hornless unicorn rushes at Yoink, foam from her snapping jaws adding to the gore streaked across her white pelt. Yoink reacts just in time, pulling the horn back and gashing the Unicorn with her own horn. The Unicorn, Adam, and Yoink circle the battlefield. All three know that their various injuries have begun to add up. In all likelihood, their next actions will decide the outcome of the battle.
"Fuck you, I've hated the government way longer and way more that you have, and I only took over the being the president so I could steal all their secrets!"
Shoot him in the chest with the AR rifle I got, if that fails head but him and try to stab him with my antler.
5+1The anarchist ignores your declaration and raises his machete again, forgetting the old saying about knives and gunfights. You dodge the swing, pull your rifle, and put a good number of bullets into his chest. The anarchist stumbles back against the fine wooden wall of your chambers and slides dead to the floor. A moment later, your robot servants burst into the room and realize what's happened. They apologize profusely, saying that it's really unacceptable that the Secret Service hasn't reported for duty in six years, 3 months, and 14 days. They drag the corpse away to the incinerator, leaving you to finish deciding what to do with the Sacred Cow.
Pick up the cow and fly super high, then drop the cow, hopefully killing it from fall damage
4 Blocked by Gunthar.
Superdorf Today at 3:15 AM
What're the odds that antler of King Zultan's becomes a running gag through the remaining turns?
Enemy Post Today at 3:21 AM
We did have SM’s severed and reanimated arm become a long-lasting NPC companion to Zultan’s character back in the second game.
Superdorf Today at 3:21 AM
O_o
Enemy Post Today at 3:23 AM
It actually survived to the end of the game, so it might still be alive out there somewhere.
Superdorf Today at 3:24 AM
hmm. Would Thainos' mammal-snap have applied to it?
Enemy Post Today at 3:24 AM
Let’s see.
Superdorf Today at 3:24 AM
yes
Enemy Post Today at 3:24 AM
!roll 1d2
RPBot [BOT] Today at 3:24 AM
@Enemy Post rolled 2.
Enemy Post Today at 3:25 AM
Sorry, Adam’s arm got Snapped.
Superdorf Today at 3:25 AM
Bahaha. @Smoke Mirrors
Enemy Post Today at 3:26 AM
Thainos killed your 1000+ year old severed arm!
Superdorf Today at 3:27 AM
It was inevitable.
One more crime to tack onto Thainos' roster, folks.
Just wanted to say this isn’t an actual spoiler. Anyone can read it.
Ah yeah, thanks... I forgot actual spoilers were a thing here. 
Why-- I am in your service, milady.
The AXE of GINNUNGAGAP. A demigod's toy, called from the ćther to placate the jabbering of a lunatic.
A demigod's toy-- but the lunatic believed. The lunatic believed, and the toy became something more. An artifact. A paradox.
It crackles now, in the hand of GUNTHAR. It cackles now, in the hand of GUNTHAR.
Rictus grimace.
An age-cracked yell against the howling wind.
"HONORED COMPATRIOT! You have taken up a fool's errand-- turn from its course, or suffer the WRATH and STEEL of GUNTHAR!"
And GUNTHAR HORNHELM grips tightly the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP, poised to CLEAVE aught that should threaten his BOVINE LIEGE!
If the cow is allowed to live, she will create Kalpas of chaos and destruction
GUNTHAR vs Rana:6+1 vs 1+1Eldritch creatures vs GUNTHAR:5 vs 5+1GUNTHAR listens to Auđumbla, and Rana listens to her Eldritch allies.
"HONORED COMPATRIOT! You have taken up a fool's errand-- turn from its course, or suffer the WRATH and STEEL of GUNTHAR!""If the cow is allowed to live, she will create Kalpas of chaos and destruction"With that, Rana swoops down to kill the Cow Auđumbla, to the warbling cheers of the Eldritch creatures. Auđumbla lowers her eyes in acceptance, but then the Axe of the Ginnungagap flashes forth in her defense. Rana is hurled back, her host spilling a trail of blood. GUNTHAR takes his place between Rana and Auđumbla, a maddened and unshakeable rictus grimace on his face. The Eldritch creatures swarm down to defend Creator Rana, flapping and hurtling around GUNTHAR. The riders plop to the ground and abandon their shapes, revealing themselves to be small shoggoths as they attack. As GUNTHAR wages MIGHTY BATTLE against the monsters, Auđumbla approaches Rana. She doesn't show any signs of hostility.
"Rana, I don't know exactly what those things told you, but I know what they're like. Whatever they promised you, it's a lie. You said that they accused me of spawning chaos and destruction. You must understand, by their standards, that means any world not under the absolute control of the Eldritch mind."
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 4 (Read 90224 times)