Turn 28"*spits on the ground* If a few trillion lives is little to you, then I don't know what is a *big* number! Your choice, Rana."
Regardless of what is gonna be Rana's choice, try to somehow track down Thainos. With Rana's help or not.
Lay low and don't attack Thainos first/head-on. Just carefully watch what he is up to.
6, 5Yes, let’s create together
Continue towards the cow, Au?umbla
Can’t use that third character after the u, it’s like an o and an i combined into each other?)
(I just copy and paste it.)
5Joshua and Rana decide to part ways as the Byahkees fly through the skies of the Ginnungagap toward the ice of Niflheim.
"*spits on the ground* If a few trillion lives is little to you, then I don't know what is a *big* number! Your choice, Rana." Rather than replying directly to him, Rana turns to the Eldritch creatures.
"Yes, let’s create together" At that, Joshua allows himself to drop from the Eldritch flock and falls into the cold waters far below.
Upon impact, Joshua sinks deep into a lake. He tries to resist, but the cold quickly saps his strength. Finally, a calm voice speaks in the void.
"Have no fear, Joshua Cortez. Rest now. Eternities hence, your time shall come again." Joshua freezes in the deep. At the bottom, aeons pass. Stone builds up around him. The only sound is a quiet scratching against the rock every so often. Finally, many trillions of years later, the stone breaks open. Regaining consciousness, Joshua's ice melts away to reveal the nightmarish horizon of the 3745th Realm of Pain. A TARDIS stands before him, the door slightly ajar. Joshua creeps up and peeks through the door. Inside, he sees two of those adventurers from the town's tavern and two strangers in a pitched battle against Thainos. Ssarscel, a chupacabra scientist he also remembers seeing in the bar, is near the door on the outside.
Elsewhere, Rana flies with her Eldritch companions. Soon enough, they stop and hover above a hornless cow licking at rime stones. The Eldritch creatures speak to Rana as one.
"There. The Cow Auðumbla. She is Unacceptable. She will create Kalpa after Kalpa of chaos and destruction. You can do better. Help us stop her and take her milk. You will need it to make a better world than hers, Creator Rana." At this point, Rana sees the cow break away a stone wall, revealing a still living Gunthar bearing the Axe of the Ginnungagap.
"Be cautious, Creator Rana. She is likely manipulating your insane friend. If so, he could be nearly as dangerous as she is. We shall do our best to protect you."
...
I wandered for a long time, after this day. Trying to find out what caused this. Trying to understand.
Piece by piece, a story emerged. The story-- it was-- absurd.
Absurd. Unbelievable. A tale told by madmen.
For five years that absurdity rankled on my mind. I would not believe it. I could not accept it.
I realized something, spirit of the Ginnungagap.
Life is absurd, spirit of the Ginnungagap. The cosmos is broken-- torn, by the madness of demigods. Life's sanctity is nothing, before the demigods. Nature's law is useless, before the demigods. Glory is their legacy. Ruin is their legacy. All at the twisting of their whim. All at the flip of a coin.
I came to a decision, spirit of the Ginnungagap.
If in truth, the cosmos is subject to the whims of a lunatic's tale-- if in truth, only a demigod may have any hope of changing this twisting reality for good or ill--
--then I too would take up the demigod's mantle, and join in earnest the cycle of madness-- and perhaps in so doing, break it forever.
So tell me, SPIRIT OF THE GINNUNGAGAP: what is left to this CHILD of the MOLOKO'S RUIN? What, but the slaughter of the MAD TITAN himself-- and by BLESSED RAGNAROK, the DAWN of a NEW AGE?
"You are mad, and you are enlightened, Gunter, Gunthar Hornhelm, Child of the Moloko."The flashback fades, and you find yourself standing face to face with the Cow Auðumbla. You and she are on an icy mountain, still in the Ginnungagap.
"And you are ready. I need your help, Gunter. Thainos must be stopped, but we must also ensure that there is still a world for you to save in the aftermath of his passing. I am so sorry to keep you from your vengeance for even a moment longer, but I am about to be attacked. The Eldritch creatures realize that your presence here has changed the potential outcomes. They are going to try to kill me to stop me from helping form your world, and all other worlds. What's more, they are manipulating your friend Rana into helping them."Looking up, you see Rana, once again in a winged form. Five more of the monsters accompany her, each bearing amorphous and not quite human riders. Rana herself is carrying that crablike creature she inhabited earlier.
"Well shit that was easier that I thought it would be to get, and maybe I can work with this being president thing, I could use my powers to find out all the things the government was hiding from me, I'll be like a spy uncovering all the things they hid from everyone!"
Get on the Sacred Cow and look around, then get them to fly me to Area 51 to see all the secret shit they've got hidden there.
1You board the Sacred Cow and tour around the facility. Suddenly, a surviving chupacabra anarchist leaps out of a closet when you're alone in the President's bedroom, carrying a machete and an expended environmental shield. He snarls and takes a swing at you, screaming "You'll never have this ship back,
government pig!" You dodge the blow, but lose an antler in the process. Somehow, you don't particularly miss it.
(Init:Ssarscel, Slash, Cistern, Thainos, Adam, Shaun.)
GET INTO THE FUCKING TARDIS GET OUT OF HERE SHIT
2Cut the invite gauntlet, and Thainos’s hand, in two with my Magic Sword.
(Oh yeah, I forgot you still had that. The previous result doesn't count against you then, since you would have tied.)
2+1 vs 5-1Juanios activates his hat's drone mode and sends it to fight Adam, then he runs to the replicator and activates it via punching so it can spit out the darn Dearies.
4, 4Possess Thainos
2 vs 1Get in the TARDIS, and get the fuck out of there. Then, transfer as much of the interior weight of it to the exterior as posaible without causing mass devastation by landing, find Thainos, and fall out of the sky onto him.
Ssarscel, yer goin’ t’ hate me fer this, but I’m goin’ to do this properly this time.
Thainos is still inside your TARDIS.
Oh yeah, thi... oh... th... huh...
...
I’m a pillock.
Run into the TARDIS, go for the Dairies and/or the Doom milk and try get them before Thainos can, run into the functionally infinite labyrinth of the TARDIS backrooms, and hide.
GO T’ HELL YA PILLOCK AUBERGINE!
2+1, 2+1Show off the benefits of doing all that sidecontent by surprising Thainos with all the legendary equipment I picked up. Mainly, by using it to whoop his final boss ass. Dungeon Crawling is actually useful!
3, 1+1 vs 6Atomize the hat and use the tiny remains as shrapnel by magicing them at Thainos at light speed.
6Ssarscel runs forward, frantically trying to board the TARDIS. However, a bolt of lightning crashes down in front of him and causes a spike of metallic ground to pop out in response, preventing him from boarding at the moment. He is currently carrying the two thumb drives containing the Infinity Milk scans.
After that, Slash draws one of his many new items, the Firework Harp Crossbow (gained by hours of grinding in the Tomb of Ba'phool). After a few brief spells, he opens fire on Thainos. Dozens of bolts carrying a variety of complementary enchantments fly out at the Mad Titan. Before impact, Thainos whips around and opens a portal with the Space Milk. The bolts sail harmlessly into the atmosphere of some distant planet. The portal then closes on command and Thainos crushes the crossbow. Before Thainos can follow up with another punch, Cistern changes targets and decides Thainos would make a better host. She leaps onto his shoulders and grabs his head, trying to infect him.
Thainos drops to one knee, resisting the mental attack. Adam draws his holy/unholy sword and brings it down toward Thainos' wrist. Thainos won't fall so easily, however. Seeing the attack coming, Thainos parries the blow with the side of the Glove. Thainos flicks his head forward and deploys his mariachi hat against Adam in drone attack mode. Shaun blasts the hat back against a wall. Although more fragile from the experience, the hat is charged with divine energies. Thainos uses the distraction to run for the TARDIS food machine. Unfortunately for him, it doesn't currently have either of Ssarscel's thumb drives bearing the Infinity Dairy data. All it deploys is a bottle of regular milk.
Elsewhere, Shaun tries to find some way of dealing with his unwanted guest. Shaun initially went for his hidden bottle of Doom Mug milk, but found it missing. The glowing blue light on Thainos' fist gives a pretty big clue where it went. He then looks for Ssarcel's thumb drives, but those are currently outside the TARDIS with their owner. For the moment, Shaun simply finds a decent place to hide in the TARDIS' first couple back rooms and plan his next move.
Start launching raids into the city.
5Your early invasion goes excellently. The people of Manchester see you coming and prepare for a siege, but you're ready for them. Your monsters piece together a few batlike creatures and send them in first. A few isolated survivors are soon bit and turned. They act normally, infiltrating the city and quietly turning more to your cause whenever given a chance. The scheme is soon discovered, but your opponents are nearly worse off with the knowledge than they were before. A crisis of trust tears through the city as everyone quickly grows to suspect others of being Networked sleeper agents. Manchester's defenders are barely able to maintain a front against you in this climate. The city is ripe for the taking.
Continue leading the army with the intent to capture as many Okapis as possible. If I remember the Jabberwocky words correctly The milk of the Dairy Queen comes from the Okapis and thus if we sacrifice them in the correct we can just transform them into milk
4"WELL, MY CHILDREN, IF I DON'T MAKE IT, JUST... KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU. ALSO DO WHAT LESLIE SAYS, I GUESS. OH AND IF YOU THROW, LIKE, A FUNERAL FOR ME, PLEASE INCLUDE SOME BLACKENED UKULELE METAL IN THE PLAYLIST. HERE, TAKE THIS. MOSTLY THOUGH, JUST STAY STRONG AND STAY ALIVE. ALSO IF THIS DOESN'T WORK OUT YOU'LL PROBABLY WANNA PACK UP AND RUN."
HAND MY PRECIOUS MILKDRINKER DEMO(S?) TO ONE OF MY BRETHREN, BOOST MY POWER WITH A DRINK OF DELICIOUS, NUTRITIOUS OKAPI MILK FROM NEAREST WILLING PROVIDER, THEN SEND EVERYONE ON HOME AND PUT PLAN INTO ACTION
SINGLE-HANDEDLY RUGBY CHARGE THROUGH SURPRISED DAIRY QUEEN FORCES, TACKLE THEIR EVIL LEADER OFF HIS MOUNT, THEN RIP OFF UNICORN'S HORN AND STAKE HIM THROUGH HEART WITH IT BEFORE TURNING TO FINISH OFF THE VICIOUS BEAST ITSELF, BY WAY OF A SICK LEG-SWEEP & ELBOW DROP COMBO
THEN LET OUT A TERRIFYING WAR CRY OF "OKAPIS FOREVER! EXTINCTION NEVER!" AND PREPARE TO DEFEND MYSELF, JUST IN CASE ENEMY HORDE NOT RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES BY THIS POINT
3, 5, 5+1 vs 5+1Yoink and the okapis keep running, but it's becoming clear that Adam has them dead to rights. More and more okapis are rounded up as they try to shake off their pursuers. Finally, Yoink stops before the Dairy Queen's army and says goodbye to the last of his children before slurping some provided okapi milk. The drink gives him a bit of strength, just enough to stand for what must be done. Adam rides out, ready to strike down Yoink. As Adam levels his lance, Yoink suddenly dodges the lance and leaps onto the okapi. In a single brutal motion, Yoink tears the Unicorn's horn off again and attempts to stab Adam with it. It's a ferocious blow, and Adam barely has time to counter with his lance. The two of them fall from the Unicorn and land in the dust. The Dairy Queen's army gathers around as the two recover, hoping to witness their general finishing off the leader of the okapi rebellion.
In the distance, a tribute of blackened ukulele metal wafts over the trees.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 4 (Read 90589 times)