Turn 5(Init:Slash, Adam, Gunthar, monster, Joey Bones, Rana, Joshua, Juainos.)
charge the eldrich horror and begin to rip and tear it a new one
1-1((Oi, what about me post mate?)) Nevermind
Jauinos sprung into action to close the rift to the Eldrich Plane with his Titan Mexican strenght
"Hola cabrones! I Thain-I mean Juainos couldn't help but notice you muchachos needed help to undo this Paraiso, that's Mexicano for bad for your informatione, mind if I tag along?"
4-1Eat the Eldritch creature that escaped the portal
sure, the more the merrier, right?
3-1"Well, shit..."
Use my flare gun to set the eldritch tentacle thing on fire.
5-1The middle age man looks up from his deep planning, to hear a...Familiar noise.
"Alright, which one of you FUCKING SAPES opened a portal to the weaboo hentai dimension? Some soy-chugging no life looser trying to summon one of those demon thots, or has this been just a usual pea-brained thought!?"
(No roll.)
Success beyond GUNTHAR HORNHELM's wildest dreams-- but ah! The GINNUNGAGAP is guarded by a fell entity!
The light of fell madness spreads across GUNTHAR'S heroic visage. Fell entities are no match for the honored warrior!
"What SORCERY is this? A BEAST of the GINNUNGAGAP! A BEAST of the ENDLESS CHASM! TASTE THE AXE OF GUNTHAR!"
And with a heroically feeble warcry, GUNTHAR HORNHELM strikes at his fell enemy with the AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP!
4Close the portal.
"This is a tuesday for me."
6[wide-eyed] "Oh, fuck."
Take cover, but watch, to see if I can figure out what the hell that thing is.
6(Monsters:Attack Slash)
1+1 vs 5Slash Ashford shouts over the din of battle as the tentacles squirm into the bar.
"Alright, which one of you FUCKING SAPES opened a portal to the weaboo hentai dimension? Some soy-chugging no life looser trying to summon one of those demon thots, or has this been just a usual pea-brained thought!?" Ssarscel curses and takes cover behind the bar. It keeps him safe, but he finds himself in a poor position to watch the fight. At the same time, Shaun and Yoink quickly leave the bar.
Adam begins the actual defense, confidently declaring that
"This is a tuesday for me." and waving the portal closed. However, his casual effort tears the weakened dimensional barriers around the portal. Three even worse portals are opened in place of the old one. Freakish creatures begin to crawl through into the material plane. With a mighty "yee", GUNTHAR spins into action and bisects a cancerous mass of teeth. A fishlike worm slithers across the floor to Slash, who smashes it in the face with a bottle. Joey Bones charges a horror with his blackened claws extended, but a forever melting horse hurls him back and through a wall. The horse floats out after him, dripping viscera as it vomits a cloud of stinging flies. Rana claws at a mass of tendrils shaped roughly like a parody of a gorilla. It would have been enough to hurt the original monster, but this one simply endures her clawing with a child's laughter. Joshua then steps in with a flare gun. Fire proves to be a good choice against the abominations. Several monsters are burned to a crisp, their backwards screams echoing on the wind. Finally, Juainos kicks in the front door with a massive huarache.
"Hola cabrones! I Thain-I mean Juainos couldn't help but notice you muchachos needed help to undo this Paraiso, that's Mexicano for bad for your informatione, mind if I tag along?""sure, the more the merrier, right?", replies Rana.
Juainos works his way through the bar and approaches one of the portals. With the strength of a
Titan giant purple Mexican, Juainos crushes the portal closed. Two more stay opened and continue to spew monsters.
No one will get in John's way of getting milk and live to tell the tale, not even clowns. Do some kind of ancient Asian fighting stance and beat up those damn sewer clowns.
1Not really my problem, though I do need a ride out of here.
Possess the guy being attacked, then start replacing brain function with sub-network functions slaved to the Network.
Well, I am a Ghost.
(The rules mention that mind control is one of the two things that aren't allowed, but hollowing him out and possessing the corpse is technically different.)
5 vs 6-1John strikes a heroic and Bruce Lee-esque pose before the charging pack of sewer clowns. He centers himself, leans back, and manages to throw one punch before a clown pounces at his legs and knocks him to the crowd. The rest of the pack rushes in. It's all John can do to hold the snapping clown jaws away from his throat. And then, things start to get worse. Nyan Cat rings in his ears as Cistern attempts to upload herself to his brain in the middle of the attack. Although distracted, John is able to muster enough willpower to hold off Cistern's attempt to usurp his nervous system for the moment.
"Whats it to you, I'm just sitting here minding my own businesses tying to make something out of these bits of scrap."
If the guard tires to arrest me kick him in the dick and run away, if he doesn't try to build as much of the gun as I can and try to figure out what I need to finish it.
4, 4The guard looks you over for a moment, and then shrugs and walks away. You get back to work. Looks like you're lacking the proper focusing crystals or explosive material to make a proper laser or even ballistic gun, but you do have enough here to make a crossbow. You rig one up. As you finish linking the final pieces in place, you hear screams from the bar, and the giggling howls of a pack of sewer clowns.
Knock the doors
6You decide to knock on a door. You pick out a promising-looking door and wait a moment for a reply. The door swings open into a brightly lit bedroom. The being that opens the door stands as in uffish thought. The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, comes whiffling through the tulgey door, and burbles as it comes!
Check the lacnomicron for anything I can use.
5Ah, this may be useful. You find a ritual that gives you a clue to the nearest true milk when cast. You also discover that while you can't summon milk on its own, you can use relics to summon the ghosts of associated milks. A broken glass that was once used to hold milk could be used to summon the ghost of the original glass, for instance. It wouldn't be the same as real milk on its own, but it would have some of the original's nature. Perhaps much greater effects could be achieved with the proper relics.
"SCREW THIS, I'M GONNA FINISH MY DRINK AND GO WRANGLE SOME LACTATING GIRAFFES IN THE FOREST"
>FINISH MY DRINK AND GO WRANGLE SOME LACTATING GIRAFFES IN THE FOREST
3You quickly down your drink and leave the rapidly deteriorating situation in the bar behind. Heading to the forest you heard about, you go looking for giraffes. You search for a while, but it doesn't look like there actually are any giraffes. You almost give up the search, but then you finally come across a herd of
okapis. Perhaps these are what the rumor was referring to. You try creeping up to them, but the okapis all snap to attention as you approach. Looks like the herd is wary of your presence.
If there’s nothing happening immediately, I head out to find more details about the doom mug.
6You quickly leave the bar and escape the opening of even more deadly portals. However, as you go looking for someone who might know more about the Doom Mug wreckage, you stumble right into the middle of a pack of sewer clowns attacking a man. Strangely, the struggling man is accompanied by a catgirl who's currently placing her hands on his head. She makes no move to stop the clowns, and the clowns are ignoring her. Perhaps she's blocking her scent somehow, preventing the clowns from noticing her.