Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Enemy post]

Turn 3

"HEY C'MON, THAT MANY CAPS WERE WORTH AT LEAST TWO BEERS!"   

QUIBBLE ABOUT PRICES WHILST SIPPING BEER   
ALSO ASK BARKEEP IF KNOW WHERE I MIGHT FIND A LOCAL SUPPLY OF MILK AND/OR GIRAFFES, OR IF HE'S HEARD RUMOURS OF ANY CRAZY GOATS SORCERERS GETTING AROUND LATELY       

   
((SEEN UPDATE AND POSTED ACTION BEFORE GM COULD UPDATE TITLE, DO I WIN PRIZE??))

5+1 speed bonus.

The bartender apologizes profusely for mishearing you, and returns your caps. He offers you a bottle on the house and considers your request. Although he hasn't heard of any milk around here, rumor has it that there's a herd of giraffes living deep in a nearby forest of mutant trees. Those could probably be milked. Of course, milk isn't exactly free these days. The story goes that those giraffes to belong to an odd-looking sorcerer, so they say.

Hi Shaun, I’m Rana. You met me back at the Moloko when I was only an incorporeal sphere

join the guy trying to go on a quest, maybe i can get milk
"I would like to join your quest"

Ah! A MIGHTY AXE! Clearly, the bearer of this MIGHTY AXE is a noble warrior of excellent taste!

GUNTHAR HORNHELM briefly considers engaging the noble warrior in glorious combat, taking the MIGHTY AXE from him by force. GUNTHAR first opts to engage the noble warrior in amiable discourse, in hopes of learning where another such MIGHTY AXE might be found.

GUNTHAR HORNHELM enters the NEARBY BAR, and seeks out the ODDLY DRESSED STRANGER therein.

In a MAJESTICALLY CRACKED VOICE, Gunthar speaks: "GREETINGS! I am GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES! GUNTHAR HORNHELM sees you bear a MIGHTY AXE! GUNTHAR would like to know where he might find A SIMILAR MIGHTY AXE!"

"Failing this, GUNTHAR will CHALLENGE you to GLORIOUS COMBAT for THE AXE YOU NOW BEAR!"

Hi Shaun, I’m Rana. You met me back at the Moloko when I was only an incorporeal sphere

Say a somewhat disturbed hello, and comment positively on Rana’s significant growth. Seek out the familiar individual planning an adventure and express a desire to join him.

"What do you need adventurers for? I think I might be interested."

Say the line above.
Agree to his requests, but he'll owe me a favor upon me completing the task(s).

join Shaun in the adventuring
If Shoun can join you, can I?

To Joey: "A giant demonic lizard skeleton man. I can work with that, welcome aboard."

Shaun and Rana: "Ah, hello... totally unknown strangers I'm meeting just now for the first time ever. Yes, I would be happy to have you two on my team."

Joshua: "We're going out to find something that will make the whole Thainos thing as if it never happened. And, of course, everyone will get their payment in the end. I believe that even milk might be up for negotiations... if this goes well.

Gunthar: "A mighty... what? Or... oh, hold on, I think I read a book that was something like this. The Ingenious Gentleman... yes, that was it, so how did they... ah, ok.

Adam covered his face with his hand like a mask, before dramatically removing it in an overly theatrical motion.

"Well met GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES!" He shouted in an overly theatrical and overly loud manner, in a frankly terrible Danish accent, "I am BRAGI BODDASON, GRAND POET of the SOUTHERN ISLES! My MIGHTY AXE is enchanted so only members of the BODDASON bloodline may wield it, but I beleive I have a similar MIGHTY AXE within my PANTS OF MANY POSKETS."

Adam reached into his cargo pants, saying a little prayer in Old Norse while he did so "Tyr ek kalltilr þú, gefþessir maðr einn boløx." He then proceeded to create pull out a double-bladed battle-axe, with a shaft of black ash wood, with one blade a crimson red, seemingly giving off a glow of heat, and the other an icy blue, dripping with condensation.

"BEHOLD THE AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP only to be weilded by the MIGHTIEST WARRIOR!" he had returned to his terrible viking impression, "GUNTHAR HORNHELM prove yourself to be MIGHTIEST WARRIOR and join me on my most honorable quest!"

He then turned to the others.

"Would anyone else like a weapon? I believe I have some more."
P.S. Axe is enchanted against friendly fire. I do not trust this guy not to try to hurt a teammate while delusional.

3

I already have claws and talons, I think I’m good weapons wise, what say you, Shaun?

I’ll do without. What are the specifics of this adventure, may I ask, unfamiliar “Human”?

"A quest sounds like something fun to do, but in order to quest you must have a weapon, and I lost mine getting to where I am currently, and I don't even know why I came to this planet in the first place because it sucks, I mean look at it everyone's dead or dying, this is probably the governments fault."
So my first order of business is to buy a handgun of some kind.

2

Adam's call to heroism does not go unanswered.

The first two to respond are Joey Bones and Joshua Cortez. Joey agrees right away, while Cortez negotiates for Adam to owe him a favor in return. Around that time, Shaun and Rana walk in after some quick catching up. For some reason, they seem to thnk that they've met Adam before, and also offer to come along on his quest. Adam accepts each of their offers and explains a bit about the quest before the bar's door suddenly swings open again. GUNTHAR HORNHELM marches up to Adam and pulls his jug helm back from where it had slipped over his eyes.

"GREETINGS! I am GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES! GUNTHAR HORNHELM sees you bear a MIGHTY AXE! GUNTHAR would like to know where he might find A SIMILAR MIGHTY AXE!"

"Failing this, GUNTHAR will CHALLENGE you to GLORIOUS COMBAT for THE AXE YOU NOW BEAR!" says the HONORABLE WARRIOR, in a MAJESTICALLY CRACKED VOICE.

Adam responds with the unsurprised air of someone who once saw the Sun pick a fight with the Earth. He covers his face with his hand like a mask, before dramatically removing it in an overly theatrical motion.

"Well met GUNTHAR HORNHELM, HONORABLE WARRIOR of the NORTHERN WASTES!" He shouted in an overly theatrical and overly loud manner, in a frankly terrible Danish accent, "I am BRAGI BODDASON, GRAND POET of the SOUTHERN ISLES! My MIGHTY AXE is enchanted so only members of the BODDASON bloodline may wield it, but I beleive I have a similar MIGHTY AXE within my PANTS OF MANY POSKETS."

Adam reaches into his cargo pants, saying a little prayer in Old Norse while he did so. "Tyr ek kalltilr þú, gefþessir maðr einn boløx." He then proceeds to create pull out a double-bladed battle-axe, with a shaft of black ash wood, with one blade a crimson red, seemingly giving off a glow of heat, and the other an icy blue, dripping with condensation.

"BEHOLD THE AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP only to be weilded by the MIGHTIEST WARRIOR!" he had returned to his terrible viking impression, "GUNTHAR HORNHELM prove yourself to be MIGHTIEST WARRIOR and join me on my most honorable quest!"

He then turns to the others.

"Would anyone else like a weapon? I believe I have some more."

As he says this, Adam realizes that something felt a bit off about the axe as he handed it to HORNHELM.

I already have claws and talons, I think I’m good weapons wise, what say you, Shaun? says Rana.

I’ll do without. What are the specifics of this adventure, may I ask, unfamiliar “Human”? says Shaun.

Meanwhile, Burt seems to ignore Adam's offer of a weapon. "A quest sounds like something fun to do, but in order to quest you must have a weapon, and I lost mine getting to where I am currently, and I don't even know why I came to this planet in the first place because it sucks, I mean look at it everyone's dead or dying, this is probably the governments fault."

The deer man leaves the bar in search of a handgun, but is unable to find any at the moment. Probably some sort of Government gun regulation thing.

At this point, Ssarscel walks in, also looking for adventurers. Several bar patrons approach him, looking aggressive and not particularly bright.

John would kill to get a bowl worth of milk, so he shall find a gun

6

You're the sort of person who knows what you want, and you're going to get it. You go looking for a gun to help you get enough milk for your cereal. Surprisingly enough, you find what seems to be a fully intact AK-47 lying on the street, just outside a curbside storm drain.

Name: Thain-I mean...Juainos.
Description: A giant purple man who isn't just a time-traveling Thainos using a fake mustache and a big mariachi hat
Why do you want milk? To not infiltrate and defeat the Milkvengers before they undo my plan. And I will not then proceed use the Infinity Milks to turn the entire universe into milk before drinking everything and becoming a cosmic god.

You are definitely not the Mad Titan who balanced reality. No, you're just a massive purple man in a mustache and mariachi hat. If you were that person, you'd have known that your enemies could not live with their failure. And where would that bring them?

You approach a local bar in this paradise you someone else has created. Inside, you can hear some familiar voices, and some you don't recognize, planning to overturn your someone else's great work.

Frustrated, Luis kicks a pile of profusely bleeding books, a common defense method used by arcane authors to protect their secrets.

"An occultist without any occult... Just an ist. Luis looks around in complete dismay and frustration as he mumbles to himself, but then he notices, under the pile of bleeding tomes, a glint of steel. You always were lucky, weren't you? Well, I'm going to need a lot more juice than you to get this done, but at least it's a start.

Luis collects what he can from his ritual chambers, and sits down at his work desk, which is covered in books, not all entirely bloody. He then tries to recover whatever occult knowledge, spells, and leads he can from memory and whatever remaining texts he can salvage.

(Sorry man. I really hoped you'd get a better roll that time.)
1

You pocket the gun and sort through your blood-spewing tomes. Unfortunately, the only magic you can remember off the top of your head is the patron-invoking spell. It offers power, but always at a terrible price. In your darkest moments, you've occasionally considered casting this one. It doesn't feel like a coincidence that this one comes so easily to mind.

Binge-watch the DVD's until I fall asleep.

6

Your DVDs consist primarily of a collection of some of YouTube's most important videos. You watch them for a while, finally dozing off as you hear about someone having found 12 bricks.

When you finally regain unconsciousness, you find yourself under a tree in a meadow. This part of the Dreamlands looks off somehow. A rabbit in formal wear rushes by you, clearly late for an appointment of some sort. Perhaps you dreamed the wrong address?

Code: [Select]

#access.network/broken
 >link.path/nyan/milk
... path-unavailable
.exe|recode-links: 01001101 01001001 01001100 01001011 00001010 01000001 01100010 01110011 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01001110 01100101 01110100 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101011 00001010 01000100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 00100000 01000010 01110010 01101111 01101011 01100101 01101110 00100000 01010000 01100001 01110100 01101000 01110011
... program-compiled
.exe|find-remnants<folder-nyan/milk
... program-executed/stored
.exe|run-program-check/find-remnants

Open up the broken network, access the broken registry, then compile a search and note program, noting broken links that would normally go/read somewhere, and pruning active links connected to the detection of Milk Remnants via the carbon footprint sample exe.wcat/cisternrecorded for perusal and later use.
Log that compiled program into the local network path 'nya/milk' of exe.wcat/cistern, and execute it to detect other such Remenants.
I can then use that to gather together links for a False Network.(Next Action) Fun. Though don't expect the code to make any real sense other than keeping to a theme.

(Took me a bit to understand what you're trying to do. Sounds like you're looking for other Remnants?)
2

Unfortunately, you don't detect any other Remnants within scanning range from your current location. All you can sense on the remains of your network is the ghost of a spambot, forever chanting advertisements for sketchy flash games into the void.

Go to the local tavern to put up a job posting, requesting some support for going to do investigations at the Florence Memorial. I don't want any unnecessary surgery. Make sure it contains details on my reasoning for going to make the trip.

6

You go to the bar and announce your plans. You see a good-sized collection of adventurers here, but it looks like they're already getting ready for a quest. Perhaps you could work something out with them, but you quickly find that you have something else to deal with. A trio of thugs approach you. "So what's a chupacabra want at a place like Florence Memorial? Nothin' good, I figure." He turns to his companions as he speaks. "You know, you never saw these things before the world fell apart. Now they're everywhere. You chupacabras worked with Him, didn't you? Come on, admit it!"

[The Canadian kitten]

Get the gun then go out in the country side to find cows.

[King Zultan]

"What a shitty town not letting my buy a gun, I'll just make a gun and it'll be better than all the guns they won't sell me!"
Go look for scraps of metal and electronics and use those items to build a laser gun of some kind.

[darkwarlock3]

Joey bones seeing the poor guy in the lab coat getting harassed because he isn't human fills him with rage, Joey then begins walking menacing towards the thugs with his arm out and bones sprouting off of it to form a lance like weapon with his glowing green eyes becoming like green flames from his eye sockets
"A few thugs picking on someone else just because they ain't the same as you, you have 3 secounds to get out of here before I turn you into a human sized shikaba"

[ziizo]

Following the white rabbit is sometimes used as a metaphor for going to a strange world/adventure.

So follow that Rabbit maybe there will be milk at the end.

[Glass]

"Sssir, while I've heard rumorss that Chupacabra milk was ussed as part of whatever ritual was used to causse all this, I can ashure you that even if ssome of our kind directly partissipated, the resst of us have no relation to the event. I, for one, and trying to bring milk back.
If you have any pertinent questionsss, I will gladly ansswer them. If you know of any better locationss in which to find recordss on the ssstructure of milk, I will gladly accept it. But if you have neither, then I musst be on my way."

[Naturegirl1999]

how about we not fight here?
Attempt to stop the fight that seems super likely to happen, if the fight starts anyway, try protecting the chupacabra from injury, as the humans outnumber it

[CABL]

"Get away from the chupacabra, or the things are gonna get really ugly real quick."

Tell that to the thugs that harass chupacabra.
If they get hostile, drop a smoke bomb.
If they get hostile, but will attack chupacabra instead of me, grapple one of the thugs and throw him at the other two.

[Superdorf]

GUNTHAR's eyes light up in pure, demented wonder at the blade presented him.

"You are a sorcerer, BRAGI BODDASON, and your gifts are regal indeed! You have the undying gratitude of GUNTHAR."
"Now BEHOLD, comrades! GUNTHAR HORNHELM begins his GLORIOUS QUEST: for the primordial cow AUÞUMBLA, and the MILK by which she sustained the world!"

GUNTHAR raises his newly acquired MIGHTY AXE high above him. "AXE OF THE GINNUNGAGAP! Serve GUNTHAR now, and CLEAVE unto the tormented void of your birth!"

And with that, GUNTHAR swings his MIGHTY AXE to rend the air, tearing a gate in reality to the GINNUNGAGAP!

[Avetruetotheimperator]

Confront the adventurer quest giver and ask him this question:
Does the quest involve Furry deviants?

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

Quietly eavesdrop to discover what they're planning.

[TricMagic]

Keep the Program active and go around the town. Mark any hits on the search, and let's see about canvasing it all quickly. If I can't find any, at least I now have the Tracker Program and a data sample.

(Need multiple hits if I'm to make anything though. More datapoints mean a higher chance of succeeding at my goal of finding enough of them.)

[Imic]

Ask to know what this Human’s plan is again, since Ik have facilities which may be of use to any plan conceivable, but they’re useless if I don’t know what the plan is.

[Smoke Mirrors]

Spoiler: Whispering to Shaun (click to show/hide)

""I'm going to find the Moloko, reactivate Delta, get his scans of the Infinity Dairies, and use the new knowledge of the molecular structure of the milks to recreate them, either for use to reverse this, or just so we can have milk."

"A fight? Oh, count me in."

Adam placed his eye-patch over his blue eye before strumming the E string of his guitar and forcibly launching the three human aggressors directly at Thainos's head a location that just so happened to coincidentally be where Thainos Juainos's head was.

[Yoink]

TAKE COVER   


KEEP DRINKING   


(ASSUMING IN SAME BAR AS ALL THESE OTHER WEIRDOS)