Background first; I'd say I'm a casual to intermediate DF player, I've been playing on-and-off since 2012 and have dealt with most features in the game in one form or another.
I came back to DF after not having played since around 2016 or so, went in to the current version completely blind. I'm typing this up shortly after ragequitting my third fortress, in which I googled "Dwarf Fortress stress bugged" afterward. This thread was the first result, I made an account to give my thoughts, here I am.
I like two things: dwarvern warriors and clean, above-ground fortresses. I've played fortresses where I wall up my entrance and never leave, I've played fortresses where I create cage trap labyrinths and open a goblin-only magma bath house. They have their charm, but it's glorious combat and pristine ramparts that I seek.
My first fortress was pretty standard, early needs push, no concern for aesthetics, quick 20 dwarf army in full iron. Goblin seige. Finally! Combat! An excellent first victory with many more to come, or so I thought. Cleanup time. Don't want to give a bad impression to the outpost liason. Dwarves start by grabbing the fallen foes gear. Typical dwarves. Suddenly, red arrows. Red? That's new. Let's check out Urist Corpsehauler.
>"I feel so good!"
>*Urist Corpsehauler has become haggard and drawn due to the tremendous stresses placed on him.*
>*He was uneasy seeing a goblin's dead body x10000*
Oh. New mechanic I guess. Awesome! More challenge! We'll finish this cleanup in due time. Back to your burrows, dwarves, it's time to relax. Feast upon masterwork roasts in our legendary dining room. Treat yourselves to a masterwork pair of alpaca wool mittens. Nap in your grand quarters.
A month later, the arrows persist. Alright, stress is no joke. Two months, arrows. Urist, you know we live in the lap of luxury, right? Why aren't you socializing with anyone? Lack of decent meals? We have every food type and a stack of masterwork meals of each. Why is your stress not going away? It's been six months, chill out dude.
>Urist Corpsehauler is throwing a tantrum!
>Urist Corpsehauler is fighting!
>Urist Corpsehauler punches Urist Mindshisbusiness in the head and the severed part sails off in an arc!
>Urist Corpsehauler has triggered a tantrum spiral that will cause the inevitable downfall of your fortress no matter what actions you take!
Armoks ballhair. Next fort. We'll shield our delicate dwarves from both the horrors of war AND precipitation. We'll build a grand fortress of marble to act as a bulwark against this cruel, uncaring nightmare world in which we inhabit. Sure, it's in a taiga, but you dwarves can handle a little snow, right? Start cutting those blocks. Aw nuts, siege. And we haven't even finished our bastion of reality ignorance. Avert your eyes I guess?
>Urist Corpsehauler has yadda yadda everyone is dead
Third fort. Everyone underground. As far as we're concerned the outside doesn't exist. The sky is a myth. Two years, no problems. But what are we going to do with all these adamantine shortswords? Seems a shame for them to go to waste. Alright, one squad go and raid the forbidden land for books. On queue, siege. Our warriors return, it's a massacre on both sides. Such is the way of war. But now we have to properly immortalize our fallen heroes. And Armok damn me if I'll let a legion of stinking goblin carcasses sully out beautiful fortress. Suddenly, I am transported to the forbidden lands. Dead goblins all around. Water falling on my head. WATER. The horror. Urist looks meaningfully in my direction. And then, darkness.
What I'm getting at is, it sort of feels... inevitable? It starts slow with stress that feels impossible to remove, moves on to tantrums, etc. I cover every base with almost every fulfilled need, beside socializing and family as it's bugged, but it doesn't seem to do anything to stress. And food, I still don't know what gives, but my larder is full of masterwork delicacies of every kind but my dwarves still complain. I guess I could force dwarves to prioritize corpse hauling to reduce their exposure to them, but do I need to remove all other labours one by one? I genuinely don't know. And I guess that's where the frustration comes in. I'm not getting any feedback on what I need to do to specifically stop or mitigate stress aside from remove dwarves from stress sources. Which would involve letting corpses pile up out of sight and being less militaristic. I feel like I have to avoid the things I enjoy doing in dwarf fortress if I want my game to continue.
Sorry for the word wall. Thank you if you read it all.