Apologies for the long absence. lack of internet for a while, coupled with a few real life inconveniences kept me away.
Hmm, looks like most everyone that's going to make it back has made it back, so look to the bottom of the post for debriefing and job offers.
Name: Kitsugare "Kit""
Animal Species: Snow Fox (Currently disguised as a dingy orange fox.)
Size: A bit small.
Job/Class: Spellcaster
Trait: Natural Spellcasting (Kit already has the basics of spellcasting down, and knows Mage Hand as a cantrip. This cantrip summons an ghostly hand that can interact with the world on behalf of its summoner. Who knows what else Kitsugare'll learn...)
Stats:
Mind: 3
Strength: 0
Dexterity: 1
Equipment:
Spell Book - A faded, pastel pink book, with a broken clasp where a lock would go. Normally tied shut with a long blue ribbon. Has straps so he can Mage Hand it to be carried on his back. Written in a code only he knows, or so he claims. (Contents: Magic Missile, Minor Illusion) "I can't tell you how aggravating it is to rely on paper to remember my spells. But at least I crammed Mage Hand into my skull..."
Focus - A really nice vape pen, long emptied of juice. "If you hold it in your mouth long enough, you can start to taste the knowledge of the old days... It's kinda fruity and sweet."
Melee Weapon - Mildly enchanted Bowie Knife with a faintly glowing 7 on the handle. "That's the number of people who've tried to touch my book... and failed. Care to make it 8?"
30 Monies
Are the cops still out there? Probably...
Eh, f*** it. Any cute/badass chicks in here? If so, try to strike up a conversation, small talk, that kinda stuff. Eventually segue into asking about a way to contact her after the cops leave and we go our separate ways.
For the record, if my perception fails me and I chat up a trap and they're down, I'm down.
(1) there area no lupine females in here. There is a porcupine. Attempts at romance go hilariously wrong, and you spend the next few minutes trying unsusccessfully to pull needles out of yourself. The cops are still out there. Looks like they are settling in for the night. Things are being cordoned off. Some of the locals are out there shouting atthe cops. someone throws trash. someone is crying and screaming about 'my baby boy1' That kind of thing. you know, what with the recent murders and all ...
Head back to either the office or the bus going to it if that’s still around
Name: Kongor X (Couldn't think of a better name, mostly)
Species: Intelligent Gorilla
Job: Trained warrior
Trait: Very LIMITED magic ability (When in a fight, he can turn his anger into a blast of fire, ice, or electricity that generates from his fists or whatever weapon he's using to use on his foes. The effects happen randomly i.e. he might want to freeze something but instead it might explode)
Stats
Mind: 1
Strength: 2
Dexterity: 1
Equipment:
Standard melee weapon: a dual ended mace
Standard armor set: The kind of metal plating that would fit a gorilla
50 leftover monies
You arrive at the office in time for what follows
See if I can find a container of cat food/treats. Loudly prepare said food/treats. If there’s no preparation, just shake the container.
Name: Rosaline “Rosy” Cobb
Animal Species: Honey Badger (anthro)
size: As tall as a short human, but stocky.
Job / Class: Commando
Background: Following a short, but violent military career, Rosy found good money working as an enforcer for a third world warlord (the kind backed by a first world intelligence agency). However, even Rosy has standards, so when when she realized she didn’t have the stomach for that kind of work, she decided to head homeward and see if she could use her skills in a more honest profession. For better or worse, she ended up here.
Stats
Mind:0
Strength:2
Dexterity:2
Equipment
Duffel Bag
Worn yet reliable Assualt Rifle
- Silencer
Hand forged Kukri
Surplus Kevlar Body armor
- Hobo Disguise
5 Monie
(2) you find no snacks but the half eaten thing the cat had last time you wwere here. it looks more eaten now than then. You shake the plate carefully, but the cat doesn't respond.
poke the boss in the nose to wake them up, then report in.
(6)
"wuh you wanf?" Something is muffling the cat's voice. his whiskers tickle your head and your hind legs. You feel a slight pain in your abdomen, chest, and forelimbs. You are suspended midair above the desk. ah, are you being eaten? Are you dead? Is it judgement day already? No ... you still seem to be alive, if a tad ... uncomfortable. you may or may not have left a couple pebbles on the desk. A little biological warfare, so to speak.
Stand in the corner and wait for someone else to wake the boss.
Name: Blarg
Animal Species: Anthropomorphic Zebra
size: Slightly taller than the average human.
Job / Class: Pistolero
Stats
Mind: 1
Strength: 2
Dexterity: 1
Equipment:
Standard firearm: A Mauser C96, an old as dirt ten round semi-auto handgun, it appears to have been gold plated.
Standard melee weapon: An old dingy golf club with a reinforced handle, from the looks of it its a nine iron.
standard armor set: A black business suit with torn up jeans that don't fit, a Kevlar vest underneath, and a M1 Helmet.
Lighter
Bottle of rubbing alcohol
Some rags
19 monies
He's awake now., though the weird little membranes cats have in their eyes haven't fully retracted.
Gershom tilted his head at their boss. The cat was asleep. And sleeping sophonts were supreme subjects for suggestion, if you did it right.
"Hold on, I have an idea-"
Then he saw the field mouse crawl up right next to the cat's maw and start bopping it in the nose, while the badger went straight for the cupboards.
"...Nevermind. I'll go, uh, check the perimeter."
Fly out of the building and perch on one of the second-floor windows so that our esteemed employer has time to release his righteous rage at being rudely roused by an excruciatingly edible morsel of mentally fortified flesh.
While I'm waiting for wanton murder to commence, use my Mind to remember the spells I've read from my mental spellbook. Which I have probably read before, and which is probably in Bob's possession right now. And since my Mind is 4, I think I have at least a chance of eidetically recalling the contents of the book.
Once I have at least one spell, come back into the office. Cautiously, ready to run the moment I realize I have no idea where the cat is lurking.
Name: Gershom Sauermann
Animal Species: Intelligent Raven
Size: 24 inches from bill to tail
Job / Class: Hypnotherapy Postgraduate / Mental Wizard
Special Trait: Voice of Sauermann - if I pick my words carefully and control my tone of voice, I can speak in such a way that anyone hearing me will feel a strong, deep desire to agree without thinking.
Stats
Mind: 4
Strength: 0
Dexterity: 0
Equipment
Magic Focus (Mental Magic): a walnut-sized crystal ball fitted to a collar, which shows anything I want it to show and magically attracts the attention of anyone who sees it.
Spellbook (Mental Magic): an enormous, horribly dry monography on all the spells that were ever known to influence minds. It's a great aid in hypnosis, since it drives lesser minds into stupor within minutes of trying to read it.
Robert Smith: a heavy-set orangutan with a football player's build and some neatly trimmed, polished nails. He is enthralled by equal amounts of magic and reason, and believes that I always have the best idea on what to do.
You ready up and hide out, peeking in occasionally. the cat seems ... calm? the mouse seems ... alive, anyway.
Name: Mr. Itch
Animal Species: Roach
Size: Intimidating, borderline distressing Girth. (8ft)
Job / Class: Smash.
Special Trait: Extremely Robust: Immune to petty things like pain, illness, blood loss, decapitation, radiation, fear, doubt, mercy, etc.
Stats
Mind:0
Strength: 4
Dexterity:0
Equipment (start with 100 monies)
Standard Armor (-40)
Big Ass Metal Club (-10)
Fancy Fitted suit and fashionable hat (-5?)
A box of chalk in various colors
An assortment of cheap toys from the toy isle. Like army men, woopie cushions, silly putty, cap guns, bouncy balls, etc.
A bottle of mineral water.
A granola bar.
45 remaining.
+75
=120.
Things Mr. Itch is
Mute, Polite, Practical, Questionably Amoral
Things Mr. Itch is not
Hesitant, Fearful, Respectful of personal space, Easily Comprehensible
1) Mr. Itch gets the fancy stuff because he knows the value of treating yourself.
2-5) Lovely.
6) Select the soy sauce one.
Thus outfitted, return to base.
Alright, deduct the appropriate amount and consider yourself properly patched up. Your chitin will hold together normally now. THe cashier makes some kid of noise when ringing up your purchases, but the meaning of those noises is a mystery. Who knows what birds think, anyway? Who really cares? You return to the office to see a lot of timid creatures kinda staying as far away from a cat on a desk as possible, while a mouse plays dead and an ape just sort of chills.
Fffuuhfff fhhfffuuufff frrrf gfffugh hhrrf hrf.
ffff,.-spit-
"Ah. so you've returned then? Good work, I assume. Made a lot of noise anyway. looks like that neighborhood is gonna be locked down for a while. Whatever, it's enough to get us paid." the cat stops a moment and wolfs down the rest of the food he had left on the desk - no not the mouse, the other food.
"Well, I guess you all earned a cut anyway. Base pay for you who've returned is 20 monies. Mr itch there gets an additional ten for beating the hell out of a few guys, Mr Kongor X gets an additional five for ... diplomacy? Who wrote this action report? The hell is diplomacy? Never mind. You there! Sourkraut ..sourpuss ... sourman?you get an additional ten for actually managing to get those asshats to remember our clients' name. Whatever it was."The cat shoves a stack of envelopes off the desk onto the floor. Each has the name and a picture of the appropriate character.
(Itch gets 30 total, Kongor Gets 25 total, and Gershom gets 30 total. Everyone else gets 20 monies.)
"Now, you lot made perhaps a little too mcuh noise, so we can't use you 'round here, mkay? At least, not for a while. Don't want people connecting too many dots, right? Right.
So, let's see. We have maybe two or three suitable assignments here." The cat paws idly through some additional papers on the desk, most of which immediately end up on teh floor, along with a stapler, an inbox, and one of those swinging ball executive desk toy things.
"Bunch of Pigeons ... Dove? Getting a bit fluffed up there, ain't they? Anyway bunch a' Doves are asking for some help with their young. Seems a gang of Cuckoos is pushing a protection racket. This one is off on Continent Tropico, in New Whales. Strange name for a landlocked country. transportation will be provided, but feel free to purchase yor own, more comfortable transportation.
Here's a good one, I suppose. Some Beavermen are transporting logs the Central River to Newport City. They want a general guard crew. Keep an eye out for crocodiles or thieves or dry rot or whatever else logs get when they get wet. Herpes, maybe. ANd yes, I know it's stereotypical, but these beavers take pride in their heritage, so I'm not judging.
Got another job in Antarctica, if you are interested, and ... no, I think this last one might be above your pay grade. So Just hte Birds, the Beavers, and the really cold one.
There are some drinks in the minifridge. Help yourself while we talk about your options. There's some catnip around here somewhere too. I don't suppose you lot are up for that? No? maybe my secretary has some more suitable refreshments for you."
Author
Topic: Wolfhound Incorporated (Read 24909 times)