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[Glass]

*gets back from the doorframe and gestures toward the hallway with one hand*

Ok, what in the nine hells is with that stuff?

[Sosoku234]

*gets back from the doorframe and gestures toward the hallway with one hand*

Ok, what in the nine hells is with that stuff?

"What? Ain't never seen a transportalizer before? It leads to whatever time and place and universe the user sets it to, give or take a few seconds and feet. Right now, it's set to a house about a mile from the bunker you need to go to. Somewhere down there is the target. We don't know where exactly, otherwise I'd just transportalize you there."

[Sosoku234]

What is your name?
Decimatius Explosivus Catastropicous the III.

What are you?
Ordinary Human, surprising considering where I'm from...

Where are you from?
The Great Wastes of Old America.

Do you have any next of kin?
All of those poor souls died off in various wasteland-stereotypical ways... Ran over by raiders... Eaten by ghouls... Went mad and committed suicide... Blown up by their own daughter... That kinda stuff.

EXPLOSIONS?
Certainly!

Does the previous question confuse you?
In fact it does, as there is too little information. What KIND of explosions? Fragmentary? Incendiary? Chemical? Pheromonal? I need to know, it's rather awkward when you throw the wrong kind and the next thing you know the Wailing Soul you were trying to silence is whispering sweet, seductive nothings in your ear... at full volume.

Are you a felon? (This does not affect your employment.)
I would be if there were any laws in the Wastes!

If your answer was yes to the above, State your felony.
Arson. Murder. Arson. Vandalism. Arson. Arson. Interspecies Relationships (See 2 questions up).

Are you ready for ADVENTURE?
Only if there's females to seduce and things to detonate~

Who is the current POTUS, if applicable?
Lord Anarchy himself!

[REDACTED]
Ooh, goody, SECRETS!

What are you taking with you? A large bandolier of grenades, and the stuff to brew my own out of whatever happens to be on hand.

Guns?

Pfft, those are the coward's weapon!

Are there any peculiarities about you?
Inherent resistance to explosions of all kinds. Only explosions. Rocket Propelled
Acid Missiles do nothing to me. The very same acid simply splashed on my face? THE HORRIFIC PAIN!

((Also I didn't forget you, and I absolutely love this idea. You're on the waitlist.))

[Glass]

*gets back from the doorframe and gestures toward the hallway with one hand*

Ok, what in the nine hells is with that stuff?

"What? Ain't never seen a transportalizer before? It leads to whatever time and place and universe the user sets it to, give or take a few seconds and feet. Right now, it's set to a house about a mile from the bunker you need to go to. Somewhere down there is the target. We don't know where exactly, otherwise I'd just transportalize you there."

...that seems far too overcomplicated. Why not use a teleportation circle?

[Sosoku234]

*gets back from the doorframe and gestures toward the hallway with one hand*

Ok, what in the nine hells is with that stuff?

"What? Ain't never seen a transportalizer before? It leads to whatever time and place and universe the user sets it to, give or take a few seconds and feet. Right now, it's set to a house about a mile from the bunker you need to go to. Somewhere down there is the target. We don't know where exactly, otherwise I'd just transportalize you there."

...that seems far too overcomplicated. Why not use a teleportation circle?

"Buddy, if I could I would. Sadly, magic doesn't work out here. At least not in a safe way. You'd likely get teleported in half by that circle."

[Superdorf]

Smart people seem done talking. Job is behind the door thing! "Yahhh!" cries Diggy, charging through the glowing door-thing with pick raised on high!

[Glass]

Sadly, magic doesn't work out here. At least not in a safe way.

...sir, I quite literally run on magic. Your statement is demonstrably false.

[King Zultan]

"Why are people still standing around arguing about crap that doesn't matter, lets just go kill the commies already."
Follow the short guy through the portal.

[Glass]

"Why are people still standing around arguing about crap that doesn't matter, lets just go kill the commies already."
Follow the short guy through the portal.

...
Follow, with thunder cannon readied.

Note, for clarification’s sake: the thunder cannon is basically a really big, magic-powered, loud-enough-to-add-sonic-damage rifle that can also be used to shoot fireballs or lightning bolts once each per long rest.
I’ll link the version of Artificer that had it as an option soon.

[Failbird105]

"... They ain't gonna last..." Bullet said, before readying her pistols with a spin, and following off through the portal.

[Sosoku234]

IN THE SHED

   The Transportalponder sends our intrepid squad of man, machine, and zebra into a small and, now, quite cramped shed with lots of tools dangling from small hooks on the walls. They are all rusted out and look very weak, some have rotting handles, others no handles.
   There's a small bench grinder in the corner alongside a workbench with a small anvil on top.
   There's a pile of cloth in the southwest corner.
   There's a door in the west wall. The other walls are solid, but barely so.
   Under the door, there is a dim light and small puddles.
   There's a sound of wind from outside and the sound of rain against the roof.


((Let the game begin!))


STATUS:

Spoiler: Theta-5 (click to show/hide)

Status: Fine
Location: Rundown Shed, Chernobyl

Spoiler: Diggy (click to show/hide)

Status: Fine
Location: Rundown Shed, Chernobyl

Spoiler: Blarg (click to show/hide)

Status: Fine
Location: Rundown Shed, Chernobyl

Spoiler: Bullet Cassidy (click to show/hide)

Status: Fine
Location: Rundown Shed, Chernobyl

[Superdorf]

Diggy looks around, wide-eyed, at his new surroundings. His eyes fall upon the tool rack, and he jumps a little in recognition.
Search the tool rack. Most of the tools may be trashy pieces of junk, but maybe one or two have a little life in them yet?

[Glass]

Check if there's anything under the cloth pile.

EDIT: Here’s the version of the Artificer that has the thunder cannon.

[Sosoku234]

Check if there's anything under the cloth pile.

EDIT: Here’s the version of the Artificer that has the thunder cannon.

((I'm not sure what you want me to see with this. I'm not really going to enforce any level limits, so just try stuff and if it works, it works. If not, then try again.))

   There's a small skull under the cloth. The cloth appears to be an old and torn up sleeping bag. A bunch of cockroaches flees from the bag as soon as you touch it.

Diggy looks around, wide-eyed, at his new surroundings. His eyes fall upon the tool rack, and he jumps a little in recognition.
Search the tool rack. Most of the tools may be trashy pieces of junk, but maybe one or two have a little life in them yet?

   You find a a slightly rusted, but still functional set of pliers and clamps. There's also a small prybar with very light rust coating. Everything else is a loss.

[Superdorf]

Tools are good. All dwarfs need tools. Diggy looks to his left, then to his right, then, when nobody's looking--

Grab the tools, stuff them in backpack. Then open the door, and head out once everybody else is done doing whatever.