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Author Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3  (Read 136424 times)

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #600 on: June 29, 2019, 04:00:34 pm »

Put in ear plugs and go wake up Azatoth with blood magic, so he saves us from Thainos and goat shitters
You mean the goats that eat 5he universe, right? I’m not sure if Azaloth would know what you mean be goat shitters
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sprinkled chariot

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #601 on: June 30, 2019, 04:28:23 am »

Put in ear plugs and go wake up Azatoth with blood magic, so he saves us from Thainos and goat shitters
You mean the goats that eat 5he universe, right? I’m not sure if Azaloth would know what you mean be goat shitters

Yep, I was assuming, that entity of his level would be like all knowing.
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Smoke Mirrors

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #602 on: June 30, 2019, 08:24:11 am »

"Oh hi Satan, it's actually just me right now, the other two are asleep. Oh, and some guy and his eldritch abomination friends made plans to try and take Hell from you, I suggest mobilizing some demons to eradicate them."

Inform Satan of the 7, RGN, and the Eldritch beings and convince him to punish them for attempting to take his kingdom.
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Don't worry too much about the one mistake, Smoke Mirrors. Your character was memorable for all the demonology and story writing.

I’m running a game/mechanics test called Fate/Mechanics Test. Feel free to check it out.

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #603 on: June 30, 2019, 09:06:37 am »

Put in ear plugs and go wake up Azatoth with blood magic, so he saves us from Thainos and goat shitters
You mean the goats that eat 5he universe, right? I’m not sure if Azaloth would know what you mean be goat shitters

Yep, I was assuming, that entity of his level would be like all knowing.
I guess I don’t know who Azatoth is
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Avetruetotheimperator

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #604 on: June 30, 2019, 09:00:55 pm »

Hm, weird. Guess he's going after some milk-related time thing. Time to contact the Ordos Chronos to deal with this time fuckery. To bad the box forces me to brodcast old Echlisiarchy sermons onto the planet below. Don't wanna make the Emperor mad about this, but what can you do? Hopefully they don't take it seriously, right?
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Enemy post

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 40-Azathoth stirs.
« Reply #605 on: July 01, 2019, 02:14:12 am »

Turn 40

Boris has begun the awakening of Azathoth. Everyone else in the normal universe and timeframe receives a -1 penalty this turn. Delta would have received bonuses, so he just gets an unmodified roll.

Put in ear plugs and go wake up Azatoth with blood magic, so he saves us from Thainos and goat shitters

3+1

One more time. You block out the maddening pipes and concentrate on your blood magic. You reach out through the shadowy parts of the universe, and you touch the mind of the Daemon Sultan. The blind eyes of the Nuclear Chaos roll in their sockets and the eternal piping draws to a close. Azathoth is waking up. When he does, this universe and all within it will simply and utterly cease to be.

Remember the nanovirus glands? Release it now so that it consumes the biological blood cages and frees the souls of the captured Seven. Being an incorporeal eldritch ghost, I should be immune to it's effects.

2-1

You try to release the nanovirus, but a wave of misfortune seems to roll across the universe as you do. Somehow, your own venom affects you from within. Despite being a ghost, you start to suffer from it.

"Hey Burt sorry to show up unannounced but I need some of the sun's DNA for something I'm doing, and you still owe me from when I helped you get rid of that mailman you killed with a shovel."
Convince Burt to give me some Sun DNA.

4

Burt glances over your shoulder to see if any "Governments" are following you, and escorts both of you into his compound. He hangs back as you walk and keeps a hand on his gun, just in case you turn on him. Finally, you enter a sealed chamber. It is much cleaner than the rest of the compound. Inside is several glass jars containing golden glowing strands of Sun DNA. The strands look to be at least a yard long and fairly heavy. Burt speaks as he gets out a strand and hands it to you. "This what you needed? I hope it's important, it takes a good bit of effort to get these out."

try to sneak away before being noticed

(I enjoyed it. I’m glad that writing it also serves as practice for the future. Don’t worry, you won’t have to do it again)
I guess I don’t know who Azatoth is
(In HP Lovecraft's horror stories, Azathoth is the monstrous god at the center of the universe.)
2-1

You try to sneak away, but are hit by some sort of psychic ripple in reality. The effects of this drive the Eldritch creatures into a frenzy. Some flee back through their portal, while others snap and gnash their jaws in search of something to tear. One of the smaller ones notices you and jets over to attack.

Close the portal to the Elemental Plane of Milk.

If that fails punch a second portal this one to the Elemental Plane of Nothingness and put it under the portal to the Elemental Plane of Milk.


4-1

You mostly seal up the portal, although a small pinhole in the air is still dripping milk. You could seal up the remainder, but using the Plane of Nothingness (Also called the Void) for such a purpose might backfire dangerously.

Go through everything the vacuum picked up. Every signgle thing. Keep the water, it might have magical properties. Remove any objects of interest. And... Get a drink. The ol’ throat’s in quite a state.

4, 1, 3

You search through the giant pile of detritus accumulated from millennia of people and circumstance dumping things into the well. Most of it is just sand, animal bones, or assorted garbage. Oddly enough, everything is absolutely dry. There is no water or other liquid at all in there. You find a few bottles and canteens, but their contents are completely drained. With help from your TARDIS's computer, you eventually locate and isolate the bones of the Seven goats. After transferring them to a lab for study, you go to grab a drink. You find a food machine, but it only produces bars that simulate the nutritional effects of various drinks without the taste.

Yoink! Remember to also ring the doorbell and hide after yoinking the Milk.

5

You open an umbrella for safety and dart over to the door. You snatch up the milk, ring the doorbell, and hide in the bushes. The door opens, and reality buckles around you. You see a vision of the house erupting into chaos, fights breaking out, Space Marines dueling in the street, the fall of Genericville, Angelo/Diablo battling a giant corpse-demon, and ultimately the destruction of the world itself. However, you are also aware of Shaun O'Brian, who time travels back from the tipping point and delivers the milk you just stole. You open an umbrella for safety and dart over to the door. You snatch up the milk, ring the doorbell, and hide in the bushes. The door opens, and reality buckles around you.

The world dies, Shaun resurrects it, you take the milk and hide. Death. Return. Repeat. You feel yourself getting unhinged from reality. You live a billion years. You never lived at all. Eternity spins in an instant. Your only hope is the Glove. You take the Time Milk in your right hand and smash it over your left. A green glow marks the pentultimate Milk's addition to your collection. You make a fist and reflexively return yourself to the day of your theft. This time, you watch from a distance. Shaun delivers the Milk, creating the your native timeline. You steal it, creating another. In this way, two stable timelines exist from this moment, switching like the faces of a spinning coin. It's all very confusing, but the Time Milk gives you some inherent comprehension of what has happened.

In any event, you continue to exist in your original timeline, although you're still in 2017.

One left.

Remove the advertisements.
Anyway, now, with the information GiantDad uncovered, let’s try to figure out where Thainos is most likely to be.


3, 3

You remove most of the ads with GiantDad's help. All the visible ones have been cleared, but your drones still like to bring up the mobile games in conversation with the humans whenever they get a chance. You also analyze McFly's warnings to discover Thainos' likely location on Earth. It's an ancient neighborhood, full of fancy early-period 21st century homes. His exact destination appears to be an ancient crater where one of the houses once stood. GiantDad immediately deploys troops, but doesn't find anything. Thainos is likely long gone by now, if his attack took place in McFly's day.


"The fuck? Our ship has holoposters of naked, four-breasted alien chicks on the hull! Delta, deal with it, quickly!"

Assist with the removal of ads, then beam down some Imperial Guard onto Thainos' potential location.

4-1, 5-1

You successfully help Delta clear the ads, despite your computers suddenly becoming more difficult to operate and their error messages including oddly personal criticisms of your efforts.

Delta flies you to Thainos' extrapolated location and you send troops, but they don't find any traces of him in the crater where an old house once stood. A few artifacts are secured, such as an abandoned helmet with faded red paint and long horns, but nothing that seems particularly relevant.

Your troops also report that an Ecclesiarchy sermon is being played over their radios, sent from Primus' ship.

Silence: Continues onward!

6-1

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Oh hi Satan, it's actually just me right now, the other two are asleep. Oh, and some guy and his eldritch abomination friends made plans to try and take Hell from you, I suggest mobilizing some demons to eradicate them."

Inform Satan of the 7, RGN, and the Eldritch beings and convince him to punish them for attempting to take his kingdom.

3

You tell Satan about the problem. He acknowledges you, but doesn't seem inclined to help. "Tell this to Diablo, when he awakens. I am not inclined to assist in this. Hell is not currently at risk from threats to the material world, but mass deaths there will send us many souls. Besides, I'm sure you three can take care of this yourselves. As I said, get off my throne."

Upon saying this, Satan picks you up with one hand and roughly drops you on the floor a few feet away. He then retakes his throne and claps his hands to reawaken Diablo, and by extension Angelo.

"Awaken, my emissary. The planes are yet again in jeopardy. Go fix it before the problems reach Hell again."

Hm, weird. Guess he's going after some milk-related time thing. Time to contact the Ordos Chronos to deal with this time fuckery. To bad the box forces me to brodcast old Echlisiarchy sermons onto the planet below. Don't wanna make the Emperor mad about this, but what can you do? Hopefully they don't take it seriously, right?
(I'm not too familiar with 40k lore. Why would you get in trouble for doing that? I know the Emperor doesn't like the Imperium being a theocracy, but does anyone else know that?)
2-1

You try to contact the Ordos Chronos, but they don't respond to your signals this time. Instead, all you accomplish is attracting attention as you beam sermons to Earth's radios. Most people who hear the message are just confused, although a few convert to worshipping the Emperor of Mankind on the spot.


Thainos has five of the six Infinity Milks.
The Seven will devour the mortal universe in four turns unless prevented.
Azathoth will end the dream of the universe in five turns unless prevented.
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Enemy post has claimed the title of Dragonsong the Harmonic of Melodious Exaltion!

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #606 on: July 01, 2019, 02:24:21 am »

"I've come so far, my destiny awaits me...But let me catch up with my green baby girl first, don't want to lose track of what's really important in life, the small things."

Go see my favorite daughter by using a time portal created via a combo of Time + Space Milk.

"Hey kiddo...I know we haven't talked much, due to me replacing your sister's body parts with cybernetic implants and you leaving to live with your boyfriend and his outlaw friends. He's a cool guy, by the way, I like him, nice catch...But I just...*Sigh* I don't know how to do this...I think, that we kind of lost the closeness we had. I was thinking we could get together, just you and me. And go camping in the center of the universe next to Azatoth like we used to when you were little, try to get back on speaking terms. Watcha say kiddo?"

If she agrees, portal time.


« Last Edit: July 01, 2019, 02:33:57 am by ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES »
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King Zultan

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 40-Azathoth stirs.
« Reply #607 on: July 01, 2019, 06:04:24 am »

"Thanks man this is exactly the thing I needed, hey what happened to those little suns you were trying to make, you know the ones that were going to make it easier to get the sun's DNA?" Just as he was about to leave suddenly remembers something, "Also its been two years do you think the government stopped looking for that mailman you killed, because I really need that mail truck out of my garage."

Ask my questions then head back to my house and give UberBob the sun's DNA, then find out what we're doing from there.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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ziizo

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 40-Azathoth stirs.
« Reply #608 on: July 01, 2019, 06:32:34 am »

Start cleaning the floors that small pinhole is perfect in case I need to refill the bucket
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

randomgenericusername

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 40-Azathoth stirs.
« Reply #609 on: July 01, 2019, 07:23:46 am »

At least I can't die due to being already dead. At least Azathoth seems to be on our side, being an eldritch god and wanting to destroy the universe.

Attempt to use the ADN and power of the blood I consumed, and evolve the ability to manipulate blood. Use it to release the Seven.
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The dog behind the man behind the beard.
Immortality like that would be even more game breaking than four Aaron's in one place.
You're both so obviously scum that this is a surprisingly difficult decision.

Smoke Mirrors

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 40-Azathoth stirs.
« Reply #610 on: July 01, 2019, 08:11:01 am »

Too many apocalypses at once, need to figure out how to fix them all.

Ok, Azathoth is priority 1, then The Seven, then Thainos.

EDIT: Hey, EP, Thainos should be triggering past Angelo and Diablo's apocalypse senses.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2019, 08:29:00 am by Smoke Mirrors »
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Don't worry too much about the one mistake, Smoke Mirrors. Your character was memorable for all the demonology and story writing.

I’m running a game/mechanics test called Fate/Mechanics Test. Feel free to check it out.

Imic

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 40-Azathoth stirs.
« Reply #611 on: July 01, 2019, 08:43:11 am »

I’m going to conduct a few experiments. First of all, find a long-abandoned part of the Universe with functioning machinery. If it doesn’t fit the bill, change places to somewhere else.
First: Take one of the bones of the Seven, and subject it to the force of an industrialconpressor. Try to retrieve anything left of it, if it’s destroyed.
Second: Take one from a diferent goat, and immerse it in milk. Then, heat up the milk to boiling. Retrieve bone and note results.
Second: get one of those hammers that mechanical stand hammers modern blacksmiths use anx turn it on to full with the bone under it. Note results and retrieve.
Also, chexk to see what auxiliary control rooms there are in the Tardis.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 40-Azathoth stirs.
« Reply #612 on: July 01, 2019, 10:29:29 am »

Try to Resorb some of the blood I lost to grow a spike to impale the small creature coming towards me
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Fluffe9911

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 40-Azathoth stirs.
« Reply #613 on: July 01, 2019, 11:12:02 am »

Silence: Ties him up
Silence: Brings him to the space police
Silence: Celebrates for the 4th of July!


(Also to smoke I wouldnt exactly call thainos universe ending since he just wants to wipe out half the space cows in the universe but no one really knows that so yeah)
« Last Edit: July 03, 2019, 04:44:30 pm by Fluffe9911 »
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CABL

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 40-Azathoth stirs.
« Reply #614 on: July 01, 2019, 01:38:03 pm »

Moloko: Get into stratosphere and analyze Thainos DNA signatures.
Imperial Guard: Give out the red helmet with red horns for analysis. Await the order to beam down at the location of the latest DNA signatures of Thainos.
GiantDad: Beam down along with the Imperial Guard.
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.
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