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[King Zultan]

"I now know that shoving your hand into a server is painful and leads to electrocution, and this knowledge has helped science and that means I can stop shoving my hand into it!"
Since I'm still hiding from the thing that shan't be named, I might as well see what kind of interesting things are on this server.

Spoiler: Dead man walking (click to show/hide)

Name: Burt Burt
Physical Description: A generic looking bastard.
Background: Needed a job and got one.
Class: Combat Engineer
Life: d4
Attack: d4 Personal Sidearm

Sight:  sensory deprivation helmet
Smell:  sensory deprivation helmet
Hearing:  sensory deprivation helmet
Taste:  sensory deprivation helmet
Touch: OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit

Stats:
 Strength: d6
 Dexterity: d6
 Speed: d4
 Endurance: d4
 Will: d4
 Knowledge: d6
 Fate: d6

Skills:
 Melee: d4
 Guns: d6
 Explosives: d4
 Implants: d4
 Mechanics: d8
 Technology: d4
 Medical: d4
 Occult: d4
 Speech: d4

Status: Fixed lung, other bullet wounds, chemical burns in lungs
Inventory:
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x4 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (2 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 Mysterious remote control
 Box of protein bars
 First Aid kit (1)
 2 Fire extinguishers (d6 use each)
 Harpoon
Money: 0

[Naturegirl1999]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Name:Tara
Physical Description: A 4 foot 6 in tall female human with pale skin, brunette hair, and blue eyes who weighs 110 pounds. She is 15 years old.
Background: She was Lucy's younger sister. She would watch Lyra perform her experiments until she went to OMNITECH. When she learned of the deaths of her sisters, she joined here hoping to make the place safer
Life: d4
Attack: OMNITECH Foam Gun d3 doesn't do damage. When successful it immobilizes the target.multiple guns stack. Foam tank: d8
OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1) Hammer (Lended, return to owner after door melt attempt)
Stats:
Strength: d6
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d6
Knowledge: d10
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d6
Guns: d6
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d6
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d8
Status: Consious
Inventory: OMNITECH isolation suit, OMNITECH Foam Gun, OMNITECH sealing kit, OMNITECH environmental hazard detector, OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1), Earplugs, Cognition Copier, empty plate, Tranquilizer syringe, armful of dead fish-2
Money: 347 OMNI

Code: (senses and blocking of them) [Select]

Sight: Blindfold
Smell: Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Hearing:Text to Speech Earplugs, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Taste:Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Touch:Human Flesh Gloves, Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation SuitContinue the Confusion Chords
((To the tune of Rickety Tickety Tin))It seems that now you’ve stopped attacking, good decision on your part, though it seems the mentioning of ED has caused your body to fall apart, I’m sure you will continue to break, I’m sure you will continue to break, to break, I’m sure you’ll continue to break
You shrink in size and flicker so, not unlike a light, you shrink and flicker like a lightning bug within the night but light will not protect you in the web of hostile thoughts, of thoughts, the web of hostile thoughts
Even if you were a spider within you still would not be safe, for wasps would lay their eggs in you and larvae would eat what’s left of you but not before they control you to make protection for them, for them, to make protection for them
Now you will shrink flicker and fade away, now you will shrink flicker and fade away like you never were and then we can get into the door, the one made of metal that’s locked, that’s locked, the one made of metal that’s locked

>Perform a lethal injection on Sam using a GSR on full auto while aiming for the head. Just let me fucking play Solitaire damnit

While thinking the above song, shoot the clone before it injects Sam with bullets

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

"Yeah, got after the guy inside there! He said modern country music is better than old, he also thinks Johnny Cash is overrated!"

Sam will goad it into opening the vault, she'd rather have it fold Mr. Friend than her. Also shoot the clone or what's his name, again, since people just don't learn apperently.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Samantha "Sam" Endashale
Description: Sam used to be a research scientist at a prestigious biotech company until her distressing vigor for human experimentation got her fired. That, or perhaps the 3 graduate students that went missing under her tutelage. Regardless of the reason, she ended up finding work at OMNITECH. She chose a field position herself, and seems to be eagerly awaiting the chance to try....something....

She's a stimulant addict and has wide, staring eyes.

Life: d4 OMNITECH Space Suit
Attack: d4 sidearm (d4 use die)

Stats
Strength:d4
Dexterity:d4
Speed:d4
Endurance:d4
Will: d6
Knowledge:d4
Fate: d8

Skills
Melee: d4
Guns:d4
Explosives:d4
Implants:d4
Mechanics:d4
Technology:d4
Medical:d12
Occult:d4
Speech: d4

Status: LIKE A BLOODY STORM~
Sight: Pupils are dilated.
Smell: Smells like iron.
Hearing: Ears are full of human juice.
Taste: As normal as one can be.
Touch: All tingly.

OMNITECH Green Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Medical Kit (2 charges. Expend one to gain advantage on a Medical roll)
OMNITECH Stimulant (Raises life by one die level till next injury) X 1
Emergency battery pack
Gasmask
OMNITECH Organosculpting system
OMNITECH Space Suit
OMNITECH Generic Knife
Hover Dolly

Credits 0 (-700 debt)

Things done:
-Discovered what was Derp's deal.
-Made a sleeping gas that was used to knock out weirdos (and EEED)
-Made some harmless littler chlorine gas
-Removed the harmless gas from Burt's lungs.
-Vibrated out of you-know-what's grasp.

[NAV]

"Hey, can someone please punch me? Preferably someone very scrawny and far from danger!" Ed's voice seems to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Can some teammate please punch me lightly and break me out of this self-imposed fatal superposition.

Spoiler: Edward (click to show/hide)

Name: Edward Mortan
Physical Description: He's a bit scrawny and unshaven. Never opens his eyes more than halfway.
Background: Edward can replace a lightbulb without too much difficulty, and he watches a lot of youtube videos. Edward endeavours to do as little as possible in his life and so far has performed admirably.

Life: d2 (OMNITECH White Jumpsuit, disposable space suit, sensory deprivation suit, combined sensory deprivation/space helmet)
Attack: d4 ranged (OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm)
d4 melee (hammer)
[DOOM]


Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d6
Technology: d8
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d6

Status: Fatal Superposition
Senses deprived!

Inventory:
OMNITECH White Jumpsuit
Disposable Spacesuit
Sensory deprivation suit
Combined sensory deprivation/space helmet.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Override Fob
OMNITECH Personal Computing Cube and Universal adapter
>FOF program, works on murderbots
Universal Communicator (broken)
Omni-eye
Omni-health insurance policy
Hammer (1d4 melee)

Money: 1000 omni

[m1895]

"Hey, can someone please punch me? Preferably someone very scrawny and far from danger!"

obviously, Ghost!Anya will take a swing at him.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

boo!

[Radio Controlled]

"Hey, can someone please punch me? Preferably someone very scrawny and far from danger!" Ed's voice seems to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Do this by lightly slapping Ed on the bum. Unless someone more suitable steps up and/or Ed prefers someone else to do it.

Either way, continue the assault. Same text as before, think and chant at it. 

Spoiler: Yagyu d'Aubigny (click to show/hide)

MOOK MAP CLICK HERE
Current sector: A (FUCKING LASERS)
previous sectors: L (brobots), J (darkness), K (was on fire), H (buncha survivors), G (robophobic jungle), D (crocotrouble), B (medical malpractice central)

Name: Yagyu d'Aubigny
Physical Description: Slightly smaller than average, tanned, sideburns.
Background: Yagyu hates OMNITECH. But Yagyu likes money.
Class: Hazardous Materials Reclamation Crew

Life: d4
Attack: d8

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d8
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d8
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d6
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Sight: reduced refresh rate
Smell: no smell
Hearing: text to speech
Taste: no taste (hah!)
Touch: no touch beyond what's needed to stay upright I suppose


Status: partially caved in metal head

Inventory:
Modified goop thrower. Has 2 firing modes. Does no damage: if successful, target is immobilized. Multiple guns used in concert stack. Some targets immune. d8 use die
   Standard [not in use]: d4 attack, regular use die usage.
   OVERDRIVE [currently selected]: higher attack at the cost of increased use die usage. For every more powerful use, use die is rolled at disadvantage.
   Current overdrive: d8
   current goop tank: d8/d8 use die

“PINPOINT” Carbine (d8, damage gains advantage when aimed for 1 turn, d6 use die)
parts for prototype gun
10 prototype rounds
1 spare goop tanks (all full)
2 empty goop tank
'a few' mining explosives (1 used for killing the psychic, 1 given to Pathos)
1 broken/disabled claymore
Cutting/welding torch
radio jammer
1 unit of useful metal bits
Toolkit (3/3 charges)
computing cube
a large spool of synthetic cable
environment scanner
syringe with a bit of mystery fluid
full syringes with viruses
2x earpiece of thrall
bodyparts, enough for full body (to be collected at the end of the mission)
syringe with tranquilizer
ziptie
fungicide container
security robot brain, somewhat damaged

cognition copier
Money: 1050


Elen's stuff:
OMNITECH Green Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 attack) x2 Magazines (d4 use die) given to Wil
OMNITECH Medical Kit (1 charges)
OMNITECH Stimulant (3 charges)
5 gallon container of extremely flammable fuel, currently has 4 gallons
4 gallon container of water
Lighter => destroyed
OMNITECH Cognition Copier
Blindfold
OMNITECH Mental Purgant
Money: 200

Burt's stuff
 blindfold
 ear plugs
 Silly trashcan helmet
 Pathos' text-to-speed earbuds
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (1 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 tiny mug with a flower on the side
 A dwarf bobblehead
Money: 6

Bob's stuff
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (0 / 3)
 High visibility flares x5
 Zip tie
 Dead fish (half gone)
 Med kit
 uneaten single serve packet of pudding
 sensory deprivation suit  given to Edward
Money: 0

Richter's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
Isolation Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Transient Psychokinetic stimulant (single use. When used, roll occult. Roll is equal to number of turns it will function. Allows direct ranged and melee attack with Will as damage. Roll occult afterwards for side effects)
Demon Symbiote thing: Crocodemon d12, Teeth Elemental d12, Icon of Butchery d4, d10 human
Current demon symbiote manifestations: Maggot demon armor, Poot gun (d6 damage)
Money:  0

Larry's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (x3 Magazines)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Bio-razor (SOLD)
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
OMNITECH Isolotation suit (2x)
OMINITECH Riot Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
d6 Generic Security Rifle Given to Wil
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm
Fancy airpods
-5 Lizard talons
-5 feet of Lizard skin
Money: 0

[Parisbre56]

Play the sacred binary chant to praise the machine spirit through the speakers. If everyone else is praising something, might as well join in the confusion.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Pathos
Physical Description: A Chihuahua-sized robotic spider. It's entirely mechanical but has a very organic design to it. The mechanics are hidden inside an smooth exoskeleton of metal painted with a matte thin rubber that hides the joints and insulates it. Essentially imagine a giant tarantula but apparently made of hard rubber, a camera instead of a head, and mechanical manipulators instead of mandibles.  It is painted a very dark grey, almost black, blending with the shadows.
Background: Delusions of grandeur. Took this job as a way to rapidly advance the ranks and see cool things. And because it would give him plenty of opportunities to set things on fire without his superiors being close enough to yell at him. Lost his original body in a freak shuttle accident.
Class: Senior Tech Officer (+200 OMNI per mission, built in computing cube)
Lead Demolitions Tech (+150 OMNI per mission, repairs will be deducted from paycheck)


Life: d4: Chihuahua-sized robospider
Attack: d4: Needle gun

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d8
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d8
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d12
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Status: *excited spider noises*

Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell: N/A is robot
Hearing: Speech-to-text-to-speech
Taste: N/A is robot
Touch: N/A is robot
Extra: Motion Sensor, Limited Omniscience

Inventory:
Universal connector (embedded in body)
Computing cube (embedded in rank)
    -Text-to-speech earplug control
OMNITECH Thermite cutting charge (3d10 damage but concentrated, no splash, single use. Cuts through metal)
Glowspray paint
OMNITECH Motion sensor
OMNITECH “Limited Omniscience” Sensor
Power cord

Money: 475

[Screech9791]

>Perform a lethal injection on Sam using a GSR on full auto while aiming for the head. Just let me fucking play Solitaire damnit

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Expendaclone 01
Physical Description: The first of an experimental batch of expendable clones. Rather standard male body with no unique features.
Background: A cloned body given a mind suitable for cannon fodder - and has been assigned to security duties.
Class: Security
Life: D6 Omnitech Riot Suit
Attack: D6 GSR (loaded: D8 7.5x50mm rounds), D6 OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
Stats:
 -D4: Endurance, Will, Knowledge, Fate
 -D6: Strength, Dexterity, Speed
Skills:
 -D4: Explosives, Implants, Mechanics, Technology, Medical, Occult, Speech
 -D8: Melee, Guns
Status: Mostly Healthy
 -Implants: OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
 -Injuries: 1x pistol gunshot (right hand)
Inventory: OMNITECH Generic Security Rifle, OMNITECH Generic Security Baton, 3x 7.5x50mm magazines (D8), OMNITECH Omni-light
Money: 0 OMNI

[The Lupanian]

Help Sam prevent the clone from continuing to play Solitaire.

Spoiler: JiBot (click to show/hide)

Name: Ji Fuchikoma
Physical Description:

Cyborg Combat Body

A Short, Athletic, and Absolutely Stacked Girl, who has an uncanny resemblance to an anime character. She has pale freckled skin and, fiery red hair, and large ember green eyes. She as a pair of fox ears and a fox tail.
She is a Waifu-Bot based on a player avatar from the Waifu Assassins Guild series.

Tall, Skinny, Pale, Gaunt. Almost bald even though he can’t be older than 30. Patchy and scruffy stubble that goes all the way down his neck. His eyes aren’t soulless per se, but they have unnaturally white irises, and are filled with a certain, determination.

Background:

Once known as Woldo, a gamer who replaced his physical body with an android based on his famous video game avatar.

 Stuart. He was always an odd child. He wanted to be skilled at killing people even as a small child. His parents were very wealthy, and very overprotective of him. Instead of getting him karate lessons or into sports, they got him the most state-of-the-art simulation entertainment system money could buy. He got good at what he did. By the time he was 10, he was the number one Waifu Assassins Guild IX player in the world. However, once he got old enough, it was time to get a job. And since he’s literally good for nothing else, and he fancies himself a killer, he decided to join the Omni-tech security crew.

Life: d10 Robobody
Attack: d6 rifle x3mags

d6 Generic Security Rifle
Anti-bio razor (2d6 against living/ 1d6 vs others)

Ammo:
Rifle (use d6)(3 magazines)
2 pistol mags (use d4)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d12
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d12
Guns: d12
Explosives: d4
Implants: d6
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Status: Back to somewhat normal
Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell:Deactivated-Robot
Hearing:Deactivated-Robot
Taste:Deactivated-Robot
Touch:Germ Suit

Inventory:
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
Anti-Bio Razor
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
Brain Backup
Toot’s shock control
Tranquilizer syringe
Germ suit
Large Zip-ties
Cafeteria Gift card
Waifubot body (Loaned to Wil)
Experimental Gun
Lizard Claw


Money:
-400 debt
135

[Xantalos]

”Behold, how the creature shirks back from the true might of ED! It will not withstand the Name’s might for much longer!”

Call the full attention of ED onto this creature! Chant more piercingly than the choir of a Dark Souls boss, and try to harmonize the rest of those chanting into my own - with this many believers, true-hearted or not, the eyes of ED will surely be drawn upon us!

Spoiler: EEED (click to show/hide)

  Name: EEED (Entertaining, Educational, Elastic, Disposable)

Background: Created as part of a product line of quick-use clones with pre-installed memories, skills, and behavioral sets in order to fill gaps in high-skill fields for a comparatively cheap price, EEED’s entire line was scrapped when someone realized his name-acronym sounded like it was describing a sex toy and the resulting onslaught of memes caused the forced ‘retirement’ of the executives that had initiated the idea. This EEED, gestationally imprinted with chiropractic and massage techniques, was somehow missed in the purge of defective product and ended up finding a job with OMNICORP before his parent company’s legal team/hit squad could track him down.

Description: A big, doughy ball of a man, with earnest, simplistic facial features that look like someone crudely shaped them out of clay. Small, circular eyes peer out at the world with innocent warmth, contrasting his oddly large teeth that are perfectly square and just a little larger than normal, enough to be noticeable. He has absolutely no hair, though his scalp is tattooed with his terms of usage, patterned in such a way that suggests a balding fringe.

Class: Sanitation Officer
Life: d2
Attack: d2

Stats:
d4 Strength
d4 Dexterity
d4 Speed
d4 Endurance
d4 Will
d4 Knowledge
d12 Fate

Skills:
d4 Melee
d4 Guns
d4 Explosives
d4 Implants
d4 Mechanics
d4 Technology
d10 Medical
d4 Occult
d4 Speech

Status: Spiritually molesting Kenny Rogers
Inventory:
Rubberized Jumpsuit
Incinerator
Arc Scraper
Automop
Staff of Ed (Wilfred’s detached gun-arm)
Protech Computronium (1 liter)

Senses:
Sight - Eyemask (presumably stretched over jumpsuit head)
Hearing - Text-to-speech earbuds
Touch - Suit probably insulates
Taste - Suit probably insulates
Smell - Suit probably insulates
Empathy - Only a facsimile, EEED isn't fully aware that other people are real

Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)

 For people who've chosen to bet on when Sam will destroy her own mind and turn into an uncontrollable gribbly flesh horror that needs to be put down. Any bet may be placed, doesn't have to be OMNI, along with a time when you think it's gonna happen by. If that time passes without a STAN incident, you either forfeit your bet to the pool or can choose another time, but you have to put in another bet on top of your original one - again, can be anything. Whoever's guess lands closest to the inevitable STANification wins the pot.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: 500 OMNI for 'on or before Sam's 5th mission'
m1895: 200 OMNI for 'on or before Sam's 4th mission'
Xantalos: 1 E from EEED's name for 'on or before Sam's 5th modification to herself’

[syvarris]

"FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP!"

Yup.  Still screaming at the monster.  Still trying to reach the helmet and swap guns and occult.

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Wilfred Seven
Physical Description: He looks identical to Wil Wheaton.  That's because he's an identical clone of Wil Wheaton; he actually can't even shave, or even change his hair or anything, it always grows back to the default form within a day.  Scarrification might let Wilfred change his appearance, but he's not really up for that.
"Heavily damaged and patched up fox girl robot with an organic foot as a right arm, and organic arms as feet."
Background: He was batch manufactured along with nine other Wheaton clones, for use in some film that he's never heard of and was never involved with; only the three "best" clones were actually selected for use in the film, while the other seven--really, the other four, Wil Three survived less than a week--were sold to OMNITECH as cheap labor.  Somehow, OMNITECH decided to hire Seven, rather than just enslave him, although he's not really sure what the difference is.  Notably, Wilfred's flaw that disqualified him from being selected is that his mind is nothing like the famous actor, and he actually hates being compared to the man.
Class: Senior Xeno-Ambassador (+150 omni per mission)
Life: d6 (waifubot...)
Attack: d6 security rifle

Stats:
Str d6
Dex d6
Spd d6
End d6
Wil d6
Kno d6
Fte d6

Skills:

Mel d6
Gun d12
Exp d4
Imp d4
Mec d4
Tec d10
Med d4
Occ d4
Spc d4

Status: Pretty malformed?

Inventory: (Possibly all destroyed)
Advanced Cleaning Apparatus (4d4 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6) (Left at home)
Cat-sized woodlouse named "Rolly-Polly" (Left at home)

OMNITECH Neuron reconfiguration helmet (Allows the level of two skills to be switched. Overuse causes reduction of levels.)
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) (Three d4 magazines)
"Cold Comfort" - OMNITECH Generic Security Rifle (d6 ranged attack) (Three d8 magazines)

Money: -303, owed to loan shark.

Helpful (?) things done on mission:
Shot up some screens and a speaker in the server room.  And probably a bunch of other rooms.  He's kinda been shooting screens and speakers throughout the entire complex.
Killed a bunch of thralls who were assaulting teammates.
Maybe helped finish off the psychic that ambushed the team.
Reactivated Sector Q's power, then locked all the exits just before realizing Q's Hell Portal was left active, just without power.
Shot some of the demons that were released in sector Q.
Melted a giant statue of the company founder that was being telekinetically flung at the team, before it could even kill anyone!  Will leave out who the statue depicted when he reports this.
Accused Leslie of being a mind-controlled thrall and attempted to shoot her.  Then ordered her to save Gabe (he was choking on his own zip ties), which she did do.  This doesn't sound impressive, but considering that the only other security team member nearby at the time was hovering over Gabe waiting for him to die so she could loot his gear...
Found his way to the robotics & armament (?) sector's control room, where he remotely subverted a heavily armed guardbot to guard him.  And assist him with the mission, of course.  Reprogramming company property in order to save even more valuable company property shows forward thinking and positive initiative!
Successfully hacked open the ammo room for Yagyu and friends.
Hacked the endoskeleton robots to stop killing team members and instead escort the team out of the sector nonlethally.
Found the exit from the vantablack sector, in literally the first turn of trying to find an exit.
Blew up something in the flaming sector, probably an IED that was supposed to kill the entire team.  Totally.  So Wilfred actually reduced the damage caused by it, by blowing it up before it was a major risk!
Uh.  Got killed and then was installed into the guardbot.
"Accidentally" murdered two teammates by reprogramming his guardbot body to automatically target and kill... basically everyone.  Yes, it totally was accidental.  No, it was just a coincidence that the cultist who died had just threatened him.  He didn't take the threat seriously, anyway.
After the aforementioned cultist's corpse began to apotheosize, casually summoned the hand of an elder god to drag it away to the nether realm and unmade.
Utterly destroyed some kind of flesh-containing canister which was definitely a horrible trap meant to kill us all.
Killed a man with an anti-tank weapon, before being blown up by a demo charge.

Code: [Select]

Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell: Disabled.
Hearing: Disabled; speech to text enabled.
Taste: Disabled.
Touch: Disabled.

[Pancaek]

continue chanting and thinking in unison with Yagyu

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Edward Paganini Scrum
Description: Edward has the look of a grumpy boulder, an impassive craggy face with lumpy, half swollen features. Once he made deal with a dog-sized flea in the cargo hold of a helium trawler near Jupiter. That trawler never made it back to port, but Edward did. He's been itchy ever since. Sometimes he sees things in the machines he fixes, sometimes he knows things he shouldn't. He won't talk about how he got here, what he intends to do, or what the deal he made was. He is quiet, fatalistic, distant, but prone to occasionally ramble with a distant look in his eyes. He's 36, but he looks 60.

Life: d2
Attack: d4 sidearm (d4 use die)

Stats
Strength:d4
Dexterity:d4
Speed:d4
Endurance:d4
Will: d4
Knowledge:d6
Fate: d4

Skills
Melee: d4
Guns:d6
Explosives:d4
Implants:d4
Mechanics:d12
Technology:d8
Medical:d4
Occult:d4
Speech: d4

OMNITECH White Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Override Fob (Allows activation of most vehicles)
OMNITECH Personal Computing Cube and Universal adapter
Hacked Brobot (pushbot)

[Ozarck]

BIG SNACK (JR)!

Spoiler: Bob (click to show/hide)

Name: Bob the Biter
Physical Description: Your basic primal swamp dinosaur. With a yellow hard hat.
Background: Who knows? The Company discovered that he has a knack for fixing ... things, and he hasn't eaten anyone important enough to care about yet. Somehow, some joker from the sanitation department got him on the payroll. He was there for quite a while before the bureaucrats found out and moved him to the engineering payroll.

Life: d4
Attack: d4 (Bite)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d4
Fate: d4

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d10
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4


Status: Bitey
Inventory:OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit. Shredded bits of this are found in various points around Bob's body.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die) strapped to the end of his tail 
OMNITECH Tool kit (3 charges. Expend one to gain advantage on a repair or modify roll) strapped in a harness around his torso
Box of (4/)5 high visibility flares. Ironically, these are very inconspicuously stored, somewhere.
recently malfunctioning thermornuclear device (ingested)
ego overrider
Money: 0

Spoiler: things Bob did this mission (click to show/hide)

Broke something in the fish aisle.
ate recently liberated fish
became loveable, toothy, mascot
explored deep, dark hole with his specialized rod. Hole was deep, and dark
ate infected corspe,
discovered weird illness
acquired weird illness
survived weird illness
failed to 3d print a cat to wear as a hat
repaired nuclear power cell
ate nuclear power cell
defeated obstructionist 3d printer in melee
greeted securibot affably (for an alligator)
acquired experimental bolt action steel brick
did not fire experimental brick at the darkness
guided Tara through the darkness
ate BIG SNACK
opened fire suppressant control panel
dragged Tara to medical assistance
discarded experimental gun
pool
Bob
Ate human surgical samples
'repaired' 'broken' door to surgical suite
accessorized quite nicely (x2)
Flooded Sector (B?)
Fixed Yagyu without even biting him once
Go Fish

[piecewise]

"I now know that shoving your hand into a server is painful and leads to electrocution, and this knowledge has helped science and that means I can stop shoving my hand into it!"
Since I'm still hiding from the thing that shan't be named, I might as well see what kind of interesting things are on this server.

Spoiler: Dead man walking (click to show/hide)

Name: Burt Burt
Physical Description: A generic looking bastard.
Background: Needed a job and got one.
Class: Combat Engineer
Life: d4
Attack: d4 Personal Sidearm

Sight:  sensory deprivation helmet
Smell:  sensory deprivation helmet
Hearing:  sensory deprivation helmet
Taste:  sensory deprivation helmet
Touch: OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit

Stats:
 Strength: d6
 Dexterity: d6
 Speed: d4
 Endurance: d4
 Will: d4
 Knowledge: d6
 Fate: d6

Skills:
 Melee: d4
 Guns: d6
 Explosives: d4
 Implants: d4
 Mechanics: d8
 Technology: d4
 Medical: d4
 Occult: d4
 Speech: d4

Status: Fixed lung, other bullet wounds, chemical burns in lungs
Inventory:
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x4 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (2 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 Mysterious remote control
 Box of protein bars
 First Aid kit (1)
 2 Fire extinguishers (d6 use each)
 Harpoon
Money: 0

[4] Burt has no computing cube to connect to the servers and search through their contents, but luckily some tech has left a little access box here. Just a folding screen and keyboard, but good enough for his needs.
[4]
Burt scans through the data rapidly. Then, once he's finished, he decides he's seen everything he needs to see and shuts all the servers off. Then unplugs them. Then uses his side arm to shoot the power cables.

You know, a full and proper shutdown.

Regardless he has learned a few interesting things. (You can ask 3 questions of the narrator and they will answer truthfully).

"Hey, can someone please punch me? Preferably someone very scrawny and far from danger!"

obviously, Ghost!Anya will take a swing at him.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

boo!

"Hey, can someone please punch me? Preferably someone very scrawny and far from danger!" Ed's voice seems to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Can some teammate please punch me lightly and break me out of this self-imposed fatal superposition.

Spoiler: Edward (click to show/hide)

Name: Edward Mortan
Physical Description: He's a bit scrawny and unshaven. Never opens his eyes more than halfway.
Background: Edward can replace a lightbulb without too much difficulty, and he watches a lot of youtube videos. Edward endeavours to do as little as possible in his life and so far has performed admirably.

Life: d2 (OMNITECH White Jumpsuit, disposable space suit, sensory deprivation suit, combined sensory deprivation/space helmet)
Attack: d4 ranged (OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm)
d4 melee (hammer)
[DOOM]


Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d6
Technology: d8
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d6

Status: Fatal Superposition
Senses deprived!

Inventory:
OMNITECH White Jumpsuit
Disposable Spacesuit
Sensory deprivation suit
Combined sensory deprivation/space helmet.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Override Fob
OMNITECH Personal Computing Cube and Universal adapter
>FOF program, works on murderbots
Universal Communicator (broken)
Omni-eye
Omni-health insurance policy
Hammer (1d4 melee)

Money: 1000 omni

[2] The ghost of Anya attempts to slap Edward but is unfortunately too incorporeal to do so. For now.

"Hey, can someone please punch me? Preferably someone very scrawny and far from danger!" Ed's voice seems to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Do this by lightly slapping Ed on the bum. Unless someone more suitable steps up and/or Ed prefers someone else to do it.

Either way, continue the assault. Same text as before, think and chant at it. 

Spoiler: Yagyu d'Aubigny (click to show/hide)

MOOK MAP CLICK HERE
Current sector: A (FUCKING LASERS)
previous sectors: L (brobots), J (darkness), K (was on fire), H (buncha survivors), G (robophobic jungle), D (crocotrouble), B (medical malpractice central)

Name: Yagyu d'Aubigny
Physical Description: Slightly smaller than average, tanned, sideburns.
Background: Yagyu hates OMNITECH. But Yagyu likes money.
Class: Hazardous Materials Reclamation Crew

Life: d4
Attack: d8

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d8
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d8
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d6
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Sight: reduced refresh rate
Smell: no smell
Hearing: text to speech
Taste: no taste (hah!)
Touch: no touch beyond what's needed to stay upright I suppose


Status: partially caved in metal head

Inventory:
Modified goop thrower. Has 2 firing modes. Does no damage: if successful, target is immobilized. Multiple guns used in concert stack. Some targets immune. d8 use die
   Standard [not in use]: d4 attack, regular use die usage.
   OVERDRIVE [currently selected]: higher attack at the cost of increased use die usage. For every more powerful use, use die is rolled at disadvantage.
   Current overdrive: d8
   current goop tank: d8/d8 use die

“PINPOINT” Carbine (d8, damage gains advantage when aimed for 1 turn, d6 use die)
parts for prototype gun
10 prototype rounds
1 spare goop tanks (all full)
2 empty goop tank
'a few' mining explosives (1 used for killing the psychic, 1 given to Pathos)
1 broken/disabled claymore
Cutting/welding torch
radio jammer
1 unit of useful metal bits
Toolkit (3/3 charges)
computing cube
a large spool of synthetic cable
environment scanner
syringe with a bit of mystery fluid
full syringes with viruses
2x earpiece of thrall
bodyparts, enough for full body (to be collected at the end of the mission)
syringe with tranquilizer
ziptie
fungicide container
security robot brain, somewhat damaged

cognition copier
Money: 1050


Elen's stuff:
OMNITECH Green Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 attack) x2 Magazines (d4 use die) given to Wil
OMNITECH Medical Kit (1 charges)
OMNITECH Stimulant (3 charges)
5 gallon container of extremely flammable fuel, currently has 4 gallons
4 gallon container of water
Lighter => destroyed
OMNITECH Cognition Copier
Blindfold
OMNITECH Mental Purgant
Money: 200

Burt's stuff
 blindfold
 ear plugs
 Silly trashcan helmet
 Pathos' text-to-speed earbuds
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (1 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 tiny mug with a flower on the side
 A dwarf bobblehead
Money: 6

Bob's stuff
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (0 / 3)
 High visibility flares x5
 Zip tie
 Dead fish (half gone)
 Med kit
 uneaten single serve packet of pudding
 sensory deprivation suit  given to Edward
Money: 0

Richter's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
Isolation Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Transient Psychokinetic stimulant (single use. When used, roll occult. Roll is equal to number of turns it will function. Allows direct ranged and melee attack with Will as damage. Roll occult afterwards for side effects)
Demon Symbiote thing: Crocodemon d12, Teeth Elemental d12, Icon of Butchery d4, d10 human
Current demon symbiote manifestations: Maggot demon armor, Poot gun (d6 damage)
Money:  0

Larry's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (x3 Magazines)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Bio-razor (SOLD)
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
OMNITECH Isolotation suit (2x)
OMINITECH Riot Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
d6 Generic Security Rifle Given to Wil
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm
Fancy airpods
-5 Lizard talons
-5 feet of Lizard skin
Money: 0

[3]
Yagyu slaps the air and Ed materializes in the place he swung, apparently having just been slapped.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Name:Tara
Physical Description: A 4 foot 6 in tall female human with pale skin, brunette hair, and blue eyes who weighs 110 pounds. She is 15 years old.
Background: She was Lucy's younger sister. She would watch Lyra perform her experiments until she went to OMNITECH. When she learned of the deaths of her sisters, she joined here hoping to make the place safer
Life: d4
Attack: OMNITECH Foam Gun d3 doesn't do damage. When successful it immobilizes the target.multiple guns stack. Foam tank: d8
OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1) Hammer (Lended, return to owner after door melt attempt)
Stats:
Strength: d6
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d6
Knowledge: d10
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d6
Guns: d6
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d6
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d8
Status: Consious
Inventory: OMNITECH isolation suit, OMNITECH Foam Gun, OMNITECH sealing kit, OMNITECH environmental hazard detector, OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1), Earplugs, Cognition Copier, empty plate, Tranquilizer syringe, armful of dead fish-2
Money: 347 OMNI

Code: (senses and blocking of them) [Select]

Sight: Blindfold
Smell: Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Hearing:Text to Speech Earplugs, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Taste:Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Touch:Human Flesh Gloves, Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation SuitContinue the Confusion Chords
((To the tune of Rickety Tickety Tin))It seems that now you’ve stopped attacking, good decision on your part, though it seems the mentioning of ED has caused your body to fall apart, I’m sure you will continue to break, I’m sure you will continue to break, to break, I’m sure you’ll continue to break
You shrink in size and flicker so, not unlike a light, you shrink and flicker like a lightning bug within the night but light will not protect you in the web of hostile thoughts, of thoughts, the web of hostile thoughts
Even if you were a spider within you still would not be safe, for wasps would lay their eggs in you and larvae would eat what’s left of you but not before they control you to make protection for them, for them, to make protection for them
Now you will shrink flicker and fade away, now you will shrink flicker and fade away like you never were and then we can get into the door, the one made of metal that’s locked, that’s locked, the one made of metal that’s locked

>Perform a lethal injection on Sam using a GSR on full auto while aiming for the head. Just let me fucking play Solitaire damnit

While thinking the above song, shoot the clone before it injects Sam with bullets

>Perform a lethal injection on Sam using a GSR on full auto while aiming for the head. Just let me fucking play Solitaire damnit

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Expendaclone 01
Physical Description: The first of an experimental batch of expendable clones. Rather standard male body with no unique features.
Background: A cloned body given a mind suitable for cannon fodder - and has been assigned to security duties.
Class: Security
Life: D6 Omnitech Riot Suit
Attack: D6 GSR (loaded: D8 7.5x50mm rounds), D6 OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
Stats:
 -D4: Endurance, Will, Knowledge, Fate
 -D6: Strength, Dexterity, Speed
Skills:
 -D4: Explosives, Implants, Mechanics, Technology, Medical, Occult, Speech
 -D8: Melee, Guns
Status: Mostly Healthy
 -Implants: OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
 -Injuries: 1x pistol gunshot (right hand)
Inventory: OMNITECH Generic Security Rifle, OMNITECH Generic Security Baton, 3x 7.5x50mm magazines (D8), OMNITECH Omni-light
Money: 0 OMNI

Help Sam prevent the clone from continuing to play Solitaire.

Spoiler: JiBot (click to show/hide)

Name: Ji Fuchikoma
Physical Description:

Cyborg Combat Body

A Short, Athletic, and Absolutely Stacked Girl, who has an uncanny resemblance to an anime character. She has pale freckled skin and, fiery red hair, and large ember green eyes. She as a pair of fox ears and a fox tail.
She is a Waifu-Bot based on a player avatar from the Waifu Assassins Guild series.

Tall, Skinny, Pale, Gaunt. Almost bald even though he can’t be older than 30. Patchy and scruffy stubble that goes all the way down his neck. His eyes aren’t soulless per se, but they have unnaturally white irises, and are filled with a certain, determination.

Background:

Once known as Woldo, a gamer who replaced his physical body with an android based on his famous video game avatar.

 Stuart. He was always an odd child. He wanted to be skilled at killing people even as a small child. His parents were very wealthy, and very overprotective of him. Instead of getting him karate lessons or into sports, they got him the most state-of-the-art simulation entertainment system money could buy. He got good at what he did. By the time he was 10, he was the number one Waifu Assassins Guild IX player in the world. However, once he got old enough, it was time to get a job. And since he’s literally good for nothing else, and he fancies himself a killer, he decided to join the Omni-tech security crew.

Life: d10 Robobody
Attack: d6 rifle x3mags

d6 Generic Security Rifle
Anti-bio razor (2d6 against living/ 1d6 vs others)

Ammo:
Rifle (use d6)(3 magazines)
2 pistol mags (use d4)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d12
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d12
Guns: d12
Explosives: d4
Implants: d6
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Status: Back to somewhat normal
Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell:Deactivated-Robot
Hearing:Deactivated-Robot
Taste:Deactivated-Robot
Touch:Germ Suit

Inventory:
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
Anti-Bio Razor
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
Brain Backup
Toot’s shock control
Tranquilizer syringe
Germ suit
Large Zip-ties
Cafeteria Gift card
Waifubot body (Loaned to Wil)
Experimental Gun
Lizard Claw


Money:
-400 debt
135

[5,6,3][4, 1v1]
Expendaclone gets off the first shot, despite being injured, and blows a hole in Tara's insolation suit. The shot only grazes her flesh though.
[2]
Tara shoots straight into the ceiling
[2]
Ji, who is much more skilled with her weapon, shoots into the floor instead. You know, just to show how its done.

[piecewise]

PART II because my posts are too THICC

BIG SNACK (JR)!

Spoiler: Bob (click to show/hide)

Name: Bob the Biter
Physical Description: Your basic primal swamp dinosaur. With a yellow hard hat.
Background: Who knows? The Company discovered that he has a knack for fixing ... things, and he hasn't eaten anyone important enough to care about yet. Somehow, some joker from the sanitation department got him on the payroll. He was there for quite a while before the bureaucrats found out and moved him to the engineering payroll.

Life: d4
Attack: d4 (Bite)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d4
Fate: d4

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d10
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4


Status: Bitey
Inventory:OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit. Shredded bits of this are found in various points around Bob's body.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die) strapped to the end of his tail 
OMNITECH Tool kit (3 charges. Expend one to gain advantage on a repair or modify roll) strapped in a harness around his torso
Box of (4/)5 high visibility flares. Ironically, these are very inconspicuously stored, somewhere.
recently malfunctioning thermornuclear device (ingested)
ego overrider
Money: 0

Spoiler: things Bob did this mission (click to show/hide)

Broke something in the fish aisle.
ate recently liberated fish
became loveable, toothy, mascot
explored deep, dark hole with his specialized rod. Hole was deep, and dark
ate infected corspe,
discovered weird illness
acquired weird illness
survived weird illness
failed to 3d print a cat to wear as a hat
repaired nuclear power cell
ate nuclear power cell
defeated obstructionist 3d printer in melee
greeted securibot affably (for an alligator)
acquired experimental bolt action steel brick
did not fire experimental brick at the darkness
guided Tara through the darkness
ate BIG SNACK
opened fire suppressant control panel
dragged Tara to medical assistance
discarded experimental gun
pool
Bob
Ate human surgical samples
'repaired' 'broken' door to surgical suite
accessorized quite nicely (x2)
Flooded Sector (B?)
Fixed Yagyu without even biting him once
Go Fish

continue chanting and thinking in unison with Yagyu

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Edward Paganini Scrum
Description: Edward has the look of a grumpy boulder, an impassive craggy face with lumpy, half swollen features. Once he made deal with a dog-sized flea in the cargo hold of a helium trawler near Jupiter. That trawler never made it back to port, but Edward did. He's been itchy ever since. Sometimes he sees things in the machines he fixes, sometimes he knows things he shouldn't. He won't talk about how he got here, what he intends to do, or what the deal he made was. He is quiet, fatalistic, distant, but prone to occasionally ramble with a distant look in his eyes. He's 36, but he looks 60.

Life: d2
Attack: d4 sidearm (d4 use die)

Stats
Strength:d4
Dexterity:d4
Speed:d4
Endurance:d4
Will: d4
Knowledge:d6
Fate: d4

Skills
Melee: d4
Guns:d6
Explosives:d4
Implants:d4
Mechanics:d12
Technology:d8
Medical:d4
Occult:d4
Speech: d4

OMNITECH White Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Override Fob (Allows activation of most vehicles)
OMNITECH Personal Computing Cube and Universal adapter
Hacked Brobot (pushbot)

"FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP FUCK DERP!"

Yup.  Still screaming at the monster.  Still trying to reach the helmet and swap guns and occult.

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Wilfred Seven
Physical Description: He looks identical to Wil Wheaton.  That's because he's an identical clone of Wil Wheaton; he actually can't even shave, or even change his hair or anything, it always grows back to the default form within a day.  Scarrification might let Wilfred change his appearance, but he's not really up for that.
"Heavily damaged and patched up fox girl robot with an organic foot as a right arm, and organic arms as feet."
Background: He was batch manufactured along with nine other Wheaton clones, for use in some film that he's never heard of and was never involved with; only the three "best" clones were actually selected for use in the film, while the other seven--really, the other four, Wil Three survived less than a week--were sold to OMNITECH as cheap labor.  Somehow, OMNITECH decided to hire Seven, rather than just enslave him, although he's not really sure what the difference is.  Notably, Wilfred's flaw that disqualified him from being selected is that his mind is nothing like the famous actor, and he actually hates being compared to the man.
Class: Senior Xeno-Ambassador (+150 omni per mission)
Life: d6 (waifubot...)
Attack: d6 security rifle

Stats:
Str d6
Dex d6
Spd d6
End d6
Wil d6
Kno d6
Fte d6

Skills:

Mel d6
Gun d12
Exp d4
Imp d4
Mec d4
Tec d10
Med d4
Occ d4
Spc d4

Status: Pretty malformed?

Inventory: (Possibly all destroyed)
Advanced Cleaning Apparatus (4d4 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6) (Left at home)
Cat-sized woodlouse named "Rolly-Polly" (Left at home)

OMNITECH Neuron reconfiguration helmet (Allows the level of two skills to be switched. Overuse causes reduction of levels.)
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) (Three d4 magazines)
"Cold Comfort" - OMNITECH Generic Security Rifle (d6 ranged attack) (Three d8 magazines)

Money: -303, owed to loan shark.

Helpful (?) things done on mission:
Shot up some screens and a speaker in the server room.  And probably a bunch of other rooms.  He's kinda been shooting screens and speakers throughout the entire complex.
Killed a bunch of thralls who were assaulting teammates.
Maybe helped finish off the psychic that ambushed the team.
Reactivated Sector Q's power, then locked all the exits just before realizing Q's Hell Portal was left active, just without power.
Shot some of the demons that were released in sector Q.
Melted a giant statue of the company founder that was being telekinetically flung at the team, before it could even kill anyone!  Will leave out who the statue depicted when he reports this.
Accused Leslie of being a mind-controlled thrall and attempted to shoot her.  Then ordered her to save Gabe (he was choking on his own zip ties), which she did do.  This doesn't sound impressive, but considering that the only other security team member nearby at the time was hovering over Gabe waiting for him to die so she could loot his gear...
Found his way to the robotics & armament (?) sector's control room, where he remotely subverted a heavily armed guardbot to guard him.  And assist him with the mission, of course.  Reprogramming company property in order to save even more valuable company property shows forward thinking and positive initiative!
Successfully hacked open the ammo room for Yagyu and friends.
Hacked the endoskeleton robots to stop killing team members and instead escort the team out of the sector nonlethally.
Found the exit from the vantablack sector, in literally the first turn of trying to find an exit.
Blew up something in the flaming sector, probably an IED that was supposed to kill the entire team.  Totally.  So Wilfred actually reduced the damage caused by it, by blowing it up before it was a major risk!
Uh.  Got killed and then was installed into the guardbot.
"Accidentally" murdered two teammates by reprogramming his guardbot body to automatically target and kill... basically everyone.  Yes, it totally was accidental.  No, it was just a coincidence that the cultist who died had just threatened him.  He didn't take the threat seriously, anyway.
After the aforementioned cultist's corpse began to apotheosize, casually summoned the hand of an elder god to drag it away to the nether realm and unmade.
Utterly destroyed some kind of flesh-containing canister which was definitely a horrible trap meant to kill us all.
Killed a man with an anti-tank weapon, before being blown up by a demo charge.

Code: [Select]

Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell: Disabled.
Hearing: Disabled; speech to text enabled.
Taste: Disabled.
Touch: Disabled.

”Behold, how the creature shirks back from the true might of ED! It will not withstand the Name’s might for much longer!”

Call the full attention of ED onto this creature! Chant more piercingly than the choir of a Dark Souls boss, and try to harmonize the rest of those chanting into my own - with this many believers, true-hearted or not, the eyes of ED will surely be drawn upon us!

Spoiler: EEED (click to show/hide)

  Name: EEED (Entertaining, Educational, Elastic, Disposable)

Background: Created as part of a product line of quick-use clones with pre-installed memories, skills, and behavioral sets in order to fill gaps in high-skill fields for a comparatively cheap price, EEED’s entire line was scrapped when someone realized his name-acronym sounded like it was describing a sex toy and the resulting onslaught of memes caused the forced ‘retirement’ of the executives that had initiated the idea. This EEED, gestationally imprinted with chiropractic and massage techniques, was somehow missed in the purge of defective product and ended up finding a job with OMNICORP before his parent company’s legal team/hit squad could track him down.

Description: A big, doughy ball of a man, with earnest, simplistic facial features that look like someone crudely shaped them out of clay. Small, circular eyes peer out at the world with innocent warmth, contrasting his oddly large teeth that are perfectly square and just a little larger than normal, enough to be noticeable. He has absolutely no hair, though his scalp is tattooed with his terms of usage, patterned in such a way that suggests a balding fringe.

Class: Sanitation Officer
Life: d2
Attack: d2

Stats:
d4 Strength
d4 Dexterity
d4 Speed
d4 Endurance
d4 Will
d4 Knowledge
d12 Fate

Skills:
d4 Melee
d4 Guns
d4 Explosives
d4 Implants
d4 Mechanics
d4 Technology
d10 Medical
d4 Occult
d4 Speech

Status: Spiritually molesting Kenny Rogers
Inventory:
Rubberized Jumpsuit
Incinerator
Arc Scraper
Automop
Staff of Ed (Wilfred’s detached gun-arm)
Protech Computronium (1 liter)

Senses:
Sight - Eyemask (presumably stretched over jumpsuit head)
Hearing - Text-to-speech earbuds
Touch - Suit probably insulates
Taste - Suit probably insulates
Smell - Suit probably insulates
Empathy - Only a facsimile, EEED isn't fully aware that other people are real

Spoiler: STANpool (click to show/hide)

 For people who've chosen to bet on when Sam will destroy her own mind and turn into an uncontrollable gribbly flesh horror that needs to be put down. Any bet may be placed, doesn't have to be OMNI, along with a time when you think it's gonna happen by. If that time passes without a STAN incident, you either forfeit your bet to the pool or can choose another time, but you have to put in another bet on top of your original one - again, can be anything. Whoever's guess lands closest to the inevitable STANification wins the pot.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES: 500 OMNI for 'on or before Sam's 5th mission'
m1895: 200 OMNI for 'on or before Sam's 4th mission'
Xantalos: 1 E from EEED's name for 'on or before Sam's 5th modification to herself’

Play the sacred binary chant to praise the machine spirit through the speakers. If everyone else is praising something, might as well join in the confusion.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Pathos
Physical Description: A Chihuahua-sized robotic spider. It's entirely mechanical but has a very organic design to it. The mechanics are hidden inside an smooth exoskeleton of metal painted with a matte thin rubber that hides the joints and insulates it. Essentially imagine a giant tarantula but apparently made of hard rubber, a camera instead of a head, and mechanical manipulators instead of mandibles.  It is painted a very dark grey, almost black, blending with the shadows.
Background: Delusions of grandeur. Took this job as a way to rapidly advance the ranks and see cool things. And because it would give him plenty of opportunities to set things on fire without his superiors being close enough to yell at him. Lost his original body in a freak shuttle accident.
Class: Senior Tech Officer (+200 OMNI per mission, built in computing cube)
Lead Demolitions Tech (+150 OMNI per mission, repairs will be deducted from paycheck)


Life: d4: Chihuahua-sized robospider
Attack: d4: Needle gun

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d8
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d8
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d12
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Status: *excited spider noises*

Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell: N/A is robot
Hearing: Speech-to-text-to-speech
Taste: N/A is robot
Touch: N/A is robot
Extra: Motion Sensor, Limited Omniscience

Inventory:
Universal connector (embedded in body)
Computing cube (embedded in rank)
    -Text-to-speech earplug control
OMNITECH Thermite cutting charge (3d10 damage but concentrated, no splash, single use. Cuts through metal)
Glowspray paint
OMNITECH Motion sensor
OMNITECH “Limited Omniscience” Sensor
Power cord

Money: 475

"Hey, can someone please punch me? Preferably someone very scrawny and far from danger!" Ed's voice seems to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Do this by lightly slapping Ed on the bum. Unless someone more suitable steps up and/or Ed prefers someone else to do it.

Either way, continue the assault. Same text as before, think and chant at it. 

Spoiler: Yagyu d'Aubigny (click to show/hide)

MOOK MAP CLICK HERE
Current sector: A (FUCKING LASERS)
previous sectors: L (brobots), J (darkness), K (was on fire), H (buncha survivors), G (robophobic jungle), D (crocotrouble), B (medical malpractice central)

Name: Yagyu d'Aubigny
Physical Description: Slightly smaller than average, tanned, sideburns.
Background: Yagyu hates OMNITECH. But Yagyu likes money.
Class: Hazardous Materials Reclamation Crew

Life: d4
Attack: d8

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d8
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d8
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d6
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Sight: reduced refresh rate
Smell: no smell
Hearing: text to speech
Taste: no taste (hah!)
Touch: no touch beyond what's needed to stay upright I suppose


Status: partially caved in metal head

Inventory:
Modified goop thrower. Has 2 firing modes. Does no damage: if successful, target is immobilized. Multiple guns used in concert stack. Some targets immune. d8 use die
   Standard [not in use]: d4 attack, regular use die usage.
   OVERDRIVE [currently selected]: higher attack at the cost of increased use die usage. For every more powerful use, use die is rolled at disadvantage.
   Current overdrive: d8
   current goop tank: d8/d8 use die

“PINPOINT” Carbine (d8, damage gains advantage when aimed for 1 turn, d6 use die)
parts for prototype gun
10 prototype rounds
1 spare goop tanks (all full)
2 empty goop tank
'a few' mining explosives (1 used for killing the psychic, 1 given to Pathos)
1 broken/disabled claymore
Cutting/welding torch
radio jammer
1 unit of useful metal bits
Toolkit (3/3 charges)
computing cube
a large spool of synthetic cable
environment scanner
syringe with a bit of mystery fluid
full syringes with viruses
2x earpiece of thrall
bodyparts, enough for full body (to be collected at the end of the mission)
syringe with tranquilizer
ziptie
fungicide container
security robot brain, somewhat damaged

cognition copier
Money: 1050


Elen's stuff:
OMNITECH Green Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 attack) x2 Magazines (d4 use die) given to Wil
OMNITECH Medical Kit (1 charges)
OMNITECH Stimulant (3 charges)
5 gallon container of extremely flammable fuel, currently has 4 gallons
4 gallon container of water
Lighter => destroyed
OMNITECH Cognition Copier
Blindfold
OMNITECH Mental Purgant
Money: 200

Burt's stuff
 blindfold
 ear plugs
 Silly trashcan helmet
 Pathos' text-to-speed earbuds
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (1 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 tiny mug with a flower on the side
 A dwarf bobblehead
Money: 6

Bob's stuff
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (0 / 3)
 High visibility flares x5
 Zip tie
 Dead fish (half gone)
 Med kit
 uneaten single serve packet of pudding
 sensory deprivation suit  given to Edward
Money: 0

Richter's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
Isolation Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Transient Psychokinetic stimulant (single use. When used, roll occult. Roll is equal to number of turns it will function. Allows direct ranged and melee attack with Will as damage. Roll occult afterwards for side effects)
Demon Symbiote thing: Crocodemon d12, Teeth Elemental d12, Icon of Butchery d4, d10 human
Current demon symbiote manifestations: Maggot demon armor, Poot gun (d6 damage)
Money:  0

Larry's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (x3 Magazines)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Bio-razor (SOLD)
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
OMNITECH Isolotation suit (2x)
OMINITECH Riot Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
d6 Generic Security Rifle Given to Wil
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm
Fancy airpods
-5 Lizard talons
-5 feet of Lizard skin
Money: 0

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Name:Tara
Physical Description: A 4 foot 6 in tall female human with pale skin, brunette hair, and blue eyes who weighs 110 pounds. She is 15 years old.
Background: She was Lucy's younger sister. She would watch Lyra perform her experiments until she went to OMNITECH. When she learned of the deaths of her sisters, she joined here hoping to make the place safer
Life: d4
Attack: OMNITECH Foam Gun d3 doesn't do damage. When successful it immobilizes the target.multiple guns stack. Foam tank: d8
OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1) Hammer (Lended, return to owner after door melt attempt)
Stats:
Strength: d6
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d6
Knowledge: d10
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d6
Guns: d6
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d6
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d8
Status: Consious
Inventory: OMNITECH isolation suit, OMNITECH Foam Gun, OMNITECH sealing kit, OMNITECH environmental hazard detector, OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1), Earplugs, Cognition Copier, empty plate, Tranquilizer syringe, armful of dead fish-2
Money: 347 OMNI

Code: (senses and blocking of them) [Select]

Sight: Blindfold
Smell: Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Hearing:Text to Speech Earplugs, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Taste:Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Touch:Human Flesh Gloves, Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation SuitContinue the Confusion Chords
((To the tune of Rickety Tickety Tin))It seems that now you’ve stopped attacking, good decision on your part, though it seems the mentioning of ED has caused your body to fall apart, I’m sure you will continue to break, I’m sure you will continue to break, to break, I’m sure you’ll continue to break
You shrink in size and flicker so, not unlike a light, you shrink and flicker like a lightning bug within the night but light will not protect you in the web of hostile thoughts, of thoughts, the web of hostile thoughts
Even if you were a spider within you still would not be safe, for wasps would lay their eggs in you and larvae would eat what’s left of you but not before they control you to make protection for them, for them, to make protection for them
Now you will shrink flicker and fade away, now you will shrink flicker and fade away like you never were and then we can get into the door, the one made of metal that’s locked, that’s locked, the one made of metal that’s locked

>Perform a lethal injection on Sam using a GSR on full auto while aiming for the head. Just let me fucking play Solitaire damnit

While thinking the above song, shoot the clone before it injects Sam with bullets

"Yeah, got after the guy inside there! He said modern country music is better than old, he also thinks Johnny Cash is overrated!"

Sam will goad it into opening the vault, she'd rather have it fold Mr. Friend than her. Also shoot the clone or what's his name, again, since people just don't learn apperently.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Samantha "Sam" Endashale
Description: Sam used to be a research scientist at a prestigious biotech company until her distressing vigor for human experimentation got her fired. That, or perhaps the 3 graduate students that went missing under her tutelage. Regardless of the reason, she ended up finding work at OMNITECH. She chose a field position herself, and seems to be eagerly awaiting the chance to try....something....

She's a stimulant addict and has wide, staring eyes.

Life: d4 OMNITECH Space Suit
Attack: d4 sidearm (d4 use die)

Stats
Strength:d4
Dexterity:d4
Speed:d4
Endurance:d4
Will: d6
Knowledge:d4
Fate: d8

Skills
Melee: d4
Guns:d4
Explosives:d4
Implants:d4
Mechanics:d4
Technology:d4
Medical:d12
Occult:d4
Speech: d4

Status: LIKE A BLOODY STORM~
Sight: Pupils are dilated.
Smell: Smells like iron.
Hearing: Ears are full of human juice.
Taste: As normal as one can be.
Touch: All tingly.

OMNITECH Green Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Medical Kit (2 charges. Expend one to gain advantage on a Medical roll)
OMNITECH Stimulant (Raises life by one die level till next injury) X 1
Emergency battery pack
Gasmask
OMNITECH Organosculpting system
OMNITECH Space Suit
OMNITECH Generic Knife
Hover Dolly

Credits 0 (-700 debt)

Things done:
-Discovered what was Derp's deal.
-Made a sleeping gas that was used to knock out weirdos (and EEED)
-Made some harmless littler chlorine gas
-Removed the harmless gas from Burt's lungs.
-Vibrated out of you-know-what's grasp.

The combined mental onslaught of almost the entire team smashes into the thoughtform and pummels it back, tearing it away like tissue paper in a stream of water. As it crumbles, it finishes one last sentence.

KNO..W...WHEN...TOOOO...R...RUUUUN

A final card, much like the one from before, materializes in front of it. An ace of spades goes spinning down the hall again, missing everyone and instead slamming straight into the door. It cleaves through metal and the other disintegrating card and finishes the cut the first one made. As the card vanishes, the vault door grinds and drops to the ground, toppling over with an earth shattering THUD of metal on metal.

The way forward is open...