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Author Topic: Divine Fuckery: The End is Nigh  (Read 121081 times)

Egan_BW

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #615 on: January 24, 2019, 04:47:40 pm »

Anaconda glares at Enal so hard that it probably can be felt by every ensouled creature in the universe.
"Don't ignore me, Enal."
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I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.

KitRougard

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #616 on: January 24, 2019, 05:50:14 pm »

"What? I'm just going on a short crossdimensional trip to find the machine that stripped a major god of their power. What could possibly go wrong?" Enal says as he flips switches, pushes buttons, and hones in on the God Machine's location.
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Scream all you want
They don't understand
Your Comic Sans font
A language of another land

piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #617 on: January 24, 2019, 09:03:04 pm »

Spoiler: Vurol (click to show/hide)
I wonder who will become the nex minor god

Create the Oozeworld, an enormous "land" made of slime, mucus and semi-solid ooze, spend 3 power for this
[6+2]

Vurol, perhaps pining for a place to call its own, expends some of its power to call into existence a land made of slime, ooze, mucus and other gunk and goo. His desire explodes out around him, filling the void with a roughly disk shaped glob of slime that actually partially merges with the Underworld. The Underworld's shield allows the slime plane in and this effectively forms a bridge between the two.

Flexius Twisted, The Prowler, and 2 out of 3 star Krakens suddenly find themselves sitting around in the Slime Plane of "Oozeworld"


Spoiler: Enryu (click to show/hide)

"Hey gods! If any of you wishes my services, pay me a toll of power and I will do as you wish. But now, I must search for the McGuffin that is searched for and usually used by the bad guy due to its plot convenient abilities..."

Spoiler: GM EYES ONLY (click to show/hide)
[3]
Enryu searching in vain for the core of the mortal plane, only discovering that one does exist somewhere, though he knows not where.

Anaconda gives Haku a couple more squeezes. No response.
"So weak. Oh well, guess mortals won't work so well."
Crush Haku's body to jelly and eat his soul.

"Hey Enal. Turns out that Haku is way too weak for me and just ends up breaking before even 7 years. I doubt you're so weak."

Ask the mechserpants if they want like, a world of their own or to have fleshy bodies again or something. I'm just. You know. Available if they need something.
Plus, fleshy feathered serpents are kinda hot.


Spoiler: Anaconda (click to show/hide)
[6]
Anaconda very publicly crushes Haku and then devours his body and his soul in front of everyone. This makes her worshipers rather uneasy but also maybe a bit more inclined to worship? Hard to day.

Some say they would like fleshy bodies, others prefer the inorganic ones.

Spoiler: Attom (click to show/hide)

Free myself from the mecha-spiders and giant spaceship-tomb out all of them
[2]
Attom cannot break free from the spider tomb, struggle though he might.

.......ENGAGING BLUNTNESS!
THE BLOOD CULT DEVOTES ITSELF TO THE WORSHIP OF HAKA THE LORD OF BLOOD THAT-IS-TO-BE. IT IS A BLOODY GOD  OBSESSED WITH BLOOD, SO ALL ITS POWERS REVOLVE AROUND THAT. IT(THE CULT) PRACTICES BLOOD MAGIC, MAGIC THAT USES THE BLOOD OF ALL THINGS THAT HAVE BLOOD TO PERFORM MIRACLES. IT CAN'T BE YOUR OWN BLOOD, HOWEVER, SINCE YOU-KNOW-WHO HATES THAT BULLSHIT. NO, YOU GOT TO TAKE THE BLOOD FROM SOMEONE ELSE! YOU CAN ALSO SACRIFICE OTHERS AND CONSUME THEIR BLOOD TO GAIN MORE POWER.
THIS BLUNT EXPLANATION SHOULD SATISFY NEW CONVERTS. GOTTA KEEP IT SECRET THOUGH. 

Spoiler: Lizarkar (click to show/hide)
[5]
The new, far more blunt, explaination of the cult works amazingly well and soon Lizarkar's blood cult has grown to an amazing size, gaining new converts every day.

Quote
Name: Hectorclese the Stout
God level: Minor
Power: 9 - probably
Sphere: Victory and Feasting
Description: The Heartiest of Hearty Boys, the pinnacle of what they can be; big and strong, he's always on the lookout for something to eat. He walks among mortals with a dim glow around him, a clear sign of his deification.
Notes: Smarting over the loss of some Heart Boys in the Food Invasion
80 war beasts and 40 Hearty Boys

Hectorclese stares at the Star Krakens thoughtfully.

Use 1 power to incorporate the remaining piece of the chaos realm as an ingredient in a dish. Serve said dish as the main course of a feast with my Hearty Boys.
[2+1]
Hectorclese sets out towards the last fragment of chaos but, owing to the great distance between his Neokitchen and the fragment's resting place, it takes the entire decade just to reach it.

Thanks.

Help my monks. Also, tunnel out to the sea to rescue Cawder again and drop him off somewhere in the Eastern Continent.

Spoiler: Ep (click to show/hide)
[3]
Ep's help is minor, if it is anything at all. Though this does not discourage his Monks; after all, they know he helps only secretly and carefully.

He does however pick Cawder out of the sea and deposit him back on land.

Hmm... I should do something about this lack of stars.

Act like a certain other demon of entropy to start reversing universal entropy and turn the universe into an endless sea of stars.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[1]
Sucker raises a hand to the heavens and attempts to reverse entropy in order to fill the starless sky with twinkling lights. However, his natural entropic power is too great and rather than stud the sky with light he  fills it with points of entropy that begin to rapidly devour all energy around them.


Name: Borkle, He-Who-Avenges
Sphere: Battle, Strife, RETRIBUTION
Power: 13
Notes: Calming down form temper-tantrum that broke reality. 1000 Hearty Boys, 18 Hard Boys, 500 War Hounds

Borkle stares at Enryu.

“NO. I HAVE NO NEED OF A MERCENARY. YOU MAY JOIN THE CRUSADE, OR DO YOUR OWN THING.”

Borkle appears before the Perfect Son

“GRANDSON. YOU ARE TRULY MAGNIFICENT. MY OTHER WARRIORS ARE POWERFUL IN THERE OWN RIGHT, BUT YOU. YOU ARE SOMETHING MORE. WITHIN YOU FLOWS THE BLOOD OF TWO GODS. AND WITHIN THAT BLOOD IS A SOUL. AS POWERFUL AS YOUR COMRADES ARE, THEY CANNOT COMPARE. GRANDSON, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WERE KILLED BY A MONSTROSITY. A MONSTROSITY CREATED BY FOOLS. I BROUGHT THEM BACK, BUT I WILL NOT ALWAYS BE THERE TO DO SO. YOU KUST DEFEND YOUR FAMILY AND YOURSELF FROM THE VILE BEASTS CREATED BY THE GODS. EVEN, MAYBAPS, THE GODS THEMSELVES. YOU ARE GREAT, GRANDSON, AND YOU WILL BRING GLORY TO WHATEVER CAUSE YOU CHOOSE, AND DEATH TO YOUR ENEMIES

SO I NAME YOU MY CHAMPION, MY FOREMOST WARRIOR AMONGST MANY. YOU SHALL BE MY HAND.

YOU SHALL BE...”
”KRATOS”


Take the boys to fight the monsters Lilith kicked out. Keep an eye on aigre in case he/she/it tries anything funny.
(Could you stop using bold text for non-actions? Or at least color it something different? Would help me read your action quicker. Also a god naming someone Kratos? Asking for trouble now ain't it?)
[1]
Borkle takes the wheel and heads towards the mortal realm. And then, a decade later, when the perfect female asks if he needs help navigating or maybe they should stop and ask directions, he assures her he knows exactly where he is going.



Lilith spends a point of power to create hundreds of seeds of her own form, and plants them to grow hundreds more of her own kind; mortals as they may be, they'll at least be sentient, which is certainly better than trying to work with unintelligent beasts. She tasks her new creations, which she dubs "Arborkind", with the protection of the forest, and the general fortification of the barrier just in case some troublesome entities attempt to cross.


Name: Lilith
God Level: Minor
Power: 7 - 1 = 6
Spheres: Life and Nature
Description: An entity born from the fertile flesh of Akahet's more hospitable areas, Lilith is a collection of plant matter that has molded itself into the shape of a humanoid.
[2+1]
Lilith attempts to create mortal versions of herself but this presents two issues. First, only major gods can create sapient races, and second, her attempts repeatedly end in failure. In the end she manages only to create one copy of herself and it is little more than an animal in her form.

Park Vengeful Spirit on orbit of mortal realms, start bombarding planets cities in Borkle name

Blood to Borkle!
( spend 1 power)
[4+1][5]
Due to oversight or perhaps by design, the barrier around the mortal realms did not perceive the bombardment Flexius unleashed as subject to its toll. The Vengeful Spirit unleashes a continuous barrage of cannon fire and bombs down onto the  cities of the Theocracy. Many die but the cities, already great fortresses even before the bombardment began, withstand the attacks and continue to fight back.

I guess I gotta start a new.

Appear in the mortal realm and build a cabin in the woods.

Name: Dr. Bob
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Sphere (If major or minor god):
Description: A humanoid with the head of a deer wearing a white lab coat.
Notes:
Dr. Bob appears within the forest realm of Lilith and builds a cabin for himself.

Step 1 complete. Now to gain some more power.

Create a world that's basically just AKAHET but smaller, and then create a species of less muscular hearty boys called humans(1.0) that worship me by endlessly creating and destroying things in my name.

[4]
Credst creates a nameless, landlocked world and places upon it a few of these weaker hearty boys he calls "humans". There are only a handful at this point, but perhaps they will do that thing that Aigre is always talking about. What was it? Breeding, thats it.

Initiate Xenophobic Containment Protocol Alpha1 on the monsters.

1KILL THEM ALL

Spoiler: Zarel (click to show/hide)
[3] Zarel's forces end up fighting on two fronts, both against the Monsters and the constant bombardment by the former Chaos Flagship. As a result their efforts against the monsters at least are mostly ineffective.

Absorb the energy and any souls of all the undead from the murderrealm. Coordinate with the underworld to keep things moving properly, and keep the energy siphons in line by any means neccessary.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[5]
Manor drains the souls from all remaining undead (+2 power) and then moves to the underworld to oversee it. He keeps watch over the energy siphons, who feed on the souls.

having taken hold of some sort of massive* moose thing, thorn tries the same speech. This time with an accent that screams maple syrup and politeness. And hopefully, louder and more commanding.

Use my natural demianimal magnatism to recruit a furry army.

Now. My fellow beasts. Accept me as your alpha leader! Every pack, every herd, every family, heed my call!

If things go really well, bestow some intelligence to the alphas of the strongest and most dominant packs of animals, to carry out more precise stragims, on my behalf.

((*How massive we talking?))

Spoiler: Thorn (click to show/hide)
(Like 20 feet at the shoulder)
[3]
Thorn continues to try and motivate the monsters into a more directed attack but cannot manage to make them act.

Fly towards the underworld, feeding on its energy.

Spoiler: The Prowler (click to show/hide)
[4]
Rather than fly, The Prowler simply walks into the underworld an begins draining power directly from it. [+1 power]

Placeholder action in case I haven't a chance to post a more in-depth one by the next update: I won't encourage or participate in this unexpected veneration of my name, but I'm not exactly complaining, either.
In fact... y'know, it's kind of nice.
I will offer a sheepish but embarrassed smile to my comrades/followers.

Wait and see if Attom manages to safely free Himself from His predicament. If not, spend 1 power to rescue Him.   

If he's all g... hmm, spend 1 power to finish outfitting the rest of the existing food elementals as the elite war variant, as well as overseeing and boosting the cooking up of fresh recruits.
...Wait, hold on, with Attom reduced to a demigod, are food elementals still being produced automatically by the kitchen?
If not, I shall do a great deal of prayer and contemplation in an attempt to ascertain the cause of the issue.


Quote from: Sheet

Name: Užina
God Level: Demi
Power: 3
Description: A tall, humanoid figure seemingly formed out of flexible breadrolls, with bagel hands and tomato soup in place of blood. Its head is a dark, hefty loaf of rye, with only a couple of creases and a cryptic pattern of seeds and flour resembling anything akin to a 'face'.
Notes: Awakened food elemental.
Aboard Attom's Food Cruiser, armed with a superweapon known as the Pressure Cooker.

[5+1][1+1]
Uzina manages to pull Attom from the tomb of spiders, however the spiders come with him and completely surround the Food Cruiser. His other attempts, such as arming the food elementals, are fraught with failure and time wasting.

Just float to wherever fate takes me. If EP rescues me again, peacefully spend the rest of the decade performing acts of charity among the good mortals.
Spoiler: Cawder (click to show/hide)
Cawder gets dragged to shore and proceeds to spend a decade not getting into trouble.

Name: Ultra
God Level: Demi
Power: 5
Description: A magnificent Hearty Boy whose eyes glow with incandescent power.
Notes: -

Ultra punches a single tear away. Partially because he and his family are alive again, but also because he's just so proud of his Perfect Son becoming his grandfather's foremost champion.

Spend 1 power breeding and training a chaos warbeast worthy of serving Kratos as companion and mount.
[2+1]
Ultra intends to find a really good chaos beast. He really does. He keeps intending to do that over and over but never quite manages it. Eventually, almost out of shame, he sticks a few extra horns and a big collar that says "REX" on one of them and presents it to Kratos.

Since it looks like I’m officially permadead (you deserved better, Giving Boar) I’ll go ahead and make a new character.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Be with the beasts Lilith made, establish dominance over the wildlife!
[5] Apparently TAMI's strange blobby appearance and shape shifting is enough to entice the other monsters because they fall under its sway.



[5] The Mechserpents and the Spider Dreadnought agree to a truce and form  up to wander the void together.
[3] The fragment of chaos holds still.
[3] The hedonist boys spend a decade snorting drugs off various body parts.
[2] The energy siphons mostly just hang around and eat occasionally.
[3] Souls from the underworld begin to drift into Oozeworld.
[1] The two star krakens become stuck in Oozeworld, the third circles near them.
[5] The Blood Cult and the Good Mortals enter a sort of pact of non-aggression/ kidnapping for blood rites.
[2] The Theocracy fights valiantly against Flexius and the Monsters but makes no real headway against either.
[5] The Super computer beeps pleasantly and the humans breed quickly.


Power
Vurol: 7
Enryu:0
Anaconda: 3
Attom: 0
Lizarkar: 4
Sucker: 3
Flexius: 2
Credst: 3
Zarel: 1
Manor: 0 (2 gained in turn)
Thorn: 0
Uzina: 2
Tami: 3



Edit: Coming in late I see.

Spoiler: Logic (click to show/hide)
Ah... that was better. He had logic pulsing through his veins again. Hem, the God Machine's readings were strange... He could likely chase the machine, if he could keep on the signal.
Chase after the strange God Machine, wherever it has gone...

[1] Enal attempts to chase after the Slime God Machine and very nearly winks out of existence. He finds himself adrift in a protoplasmic nowhere.  0 power gain.


ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #618 on: January 24, 2019, 09:08:49 pm »

"Well well, say Zarel. You find yourself in quite a conundrum. Being invaded from one side and attacked from the other...Would you like any help? I can do anything for you, for a price of course.". The mass of thought and belief that is Enryu smiles as he offers Zarel a helpful Samaritan hand.

"Buuuut...You seem kinda poor on the D-power, hey Flexius? What would you say about a deal?"

While he waits for his offers to be accepted. Enryu will use the power he gained to find the core of Akahet.
« Last Edit: January 27, 2019, 05:35:37 pm by ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES »
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Coolrune206

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #619 on: January 24, 2019, 09:18:23 pm »

Lilith's attention was drawn to the presence of a structure within her woods. She quickly moves to Dr. Bob's new house, and politely knocks on the door.

Name: Lilith
God Level: Minor
Power: 6
Spheres: Life and Nature
Description: An entity born from the fertile flesh of Akahet's more hospitable areas, Lilith is a collection of plant matter that has molded itself into the shape of a humanoid.
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

hector13

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #620 on: January 24, 2019, 10:47:50 pm »

Quote
Name: Hectorclese the Stout
God level: Minor
Power: 8 - probably
Sphere: Victory and Feasting
Description: The Heartiest of Hearty Boys, the pinnacle of what they can be; big and strong, he's always on the lookout for something to eat. He walks among mortals with a dim glow around him, a clear sign of his deification.
Notes: Smarting over the loss of some Heart Boys in the Food Invasion
80 war beasts and 40 Hearty Boys

Hectorclese scratches his head and grimaces, talking quietly to himself.

Fuckin’ miles from anywhere, probably not a good thing... long journey back too, need something to do on the way...

Carefully pilot the NeoKitchen onto the chaos fragment, preferably as far from any chaos beings populating it. Set up some defenses around the NeoKitchen for the rest of the plan.

Tether the NeoKitchen to the Chaos fragment, and then carefully set the NeoKitchen/Chaos fragment hybrid on a course toward Akahet, the mortal world, ‘cause victory is no fun if nobody actually witnesses it.

When this is done, send out some raiding parties over the course of the decade for some fun times for my Hearty Boys. Feast on the corpses of the fallen Chaos beings, commemorate any fallen Hearty Boys with feasts and massive, spectacular funeral pyres.

Once we arrive at the destination... I guess crash it onto Akahet because I want to make an entrance. In addition to the lower necessary to get myself and the NeoKitchen hybrid through the barrier, dedicate 1 power to this, ‘cause rolling a 2 seems less fatal than rolling a 1.

Whoop like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove.

« Last Edit: January 25, 2019, 11:28:24 pm by hector13 »
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

If you struggle with your mental health, please seek help.

KitRougard

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Atheism
« Reply #621 on: January 24, 2019, 11:00:24 pm »

Spoiler: Logic (click to show/hide)
"...Anaconda? I was wrong. It all went wrong. I have exactly 0 idea what dimension I'm in, and I'm sorry that I didn't read posts for mention of me listen, uh, can you reel me back in? I think I have a lock on your energy signature..."
Follow Anaconda's energy signature back home.
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Scream all you want
They don't understand
Your Comic Sans font
A language of another land

LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #622 on: January 24, 2019, 11:52:34 pm »

((My bad, Will be a good, non-bold text boy now.))
((Also how many boys i get from my pits? If i still have the pits))

"THIS IS ANNOYING. I AM A GOD OF WAR, NOT TRAVELLING."

Continue trying to find the land with the monsters and such. Tell the perfect female to go "Do that weird thing you do with Ultra or whatever." Once she leaves, secretly ask around if anyone has any decent navigational skills. Maybe Virjiwerk?

((As for Kratos, well, almost everyone else has royally fucked up the universe. I thought I might throw my Divine Hat into the ring. Plus, I needed a 20th Hard Boy))
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Ďlul Thuveg-Ellest
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Tormuk Dul-Orax
Kar Pum-Sisha

sprinkled chariot

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #623 on: January 24, 2019, 11:57:09 pm »

"Well well, say Zarel. You find yourself in quite a conundrum. Being invaded from one side and attacked from the other...Would you like any help? I can do anything for you, for a price of course.". The mass of thought and belief that is Enryu smiles as he offers Zarel a helpful Samaritan hand.

"Buuuut...You seem kinda poor on the D-power, hey Flexius? What would you say about a deal?"

While he waits for his offers to be accepted. Enryu will further meditate on the Great Narrative. This time focusing on roles, like the role of the Antagonist Force, a being or cause which drives the Plot forwards and usually presents a challenge to the Protagonist. And how he could manipulate them to his bidding.

I would gladly grant you all my power , if you can truly grant great success
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Egan_BW

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Re: Divine Fuckery: The Century Cometh.
« Reply #624 on: January 25, 2019, 12:46:05 am »

"...Anaconda? I was wrong. It all went wrong. I have exactly 0 idea what dimension I'm in, and I'm sorry that I didn't read posts for mention of me listen, uh, can you reel me back in? I think I have a lock on your energy signature..."

"Okay, on one condition~"
Spend 1 power to help pull Enal back into reality.

Weave around the Entropy Points in the way and guide the Mechserpents and the Dreadnaught to the South-West edge of Akahet's energy barrier.

While they're traveling, start making fleshy recreations of the Feathered Serpents, just as many as the number of Mechserpent souls which would like a fleshy body.
Five of these bodies shall be large and strong beyond the limits of a normal Feathered Serpent. Five shall be swift and dexterous beyond the limits of a normal feathered Serpent. One shall be extremely well-attuned to Miracle magic. One shall be extremely well-attuned to Chaos magic.
Gather together the Mechserpents who want to gain flesh bodies and have them ritually sacrifice each other, disassembling their old bodies and transcending their to their new, fleshy bodies. Absorb the Power from the ritual sacrifice (my sphere is Machinery and Murder) and use it to guide their souls to their new vessels.

Assuming that the ritual works as planned, name the new-old race Bioserpants.
Suggest that as their armada now consists of both mechanical and biological citizens, the Mechserpents should devise a suitable new name for their civilization. Leave this up to them, though.

Bite a piece off of the non-trapped Star Kraken, and summon all the pieces of my original body and eat them as well. These materials shall form the basis of a future project, harnessing the power of Biology from the Star Kraken and the power of Machinery from my old mechanical body.

Also, nip off to Credst's world to admire the humans.


"Ooh, pretty little things. I like it. Though, I feel like something's missing... Say Lord Credst, would you mind if I made just the tiniest little change to your toys? I promise it's nothing destructive. Purely aesthetic, really."

(Having obtained Credst's approval) lightly modify the humans... Firstly, make their hair more exciting with spiky and curly bits, give some of them bright red or blue or green or gold or purple or pink or white colored hair. Secondly, give them a strong impulse to scream in battle, especially shouting the name of techniques or spells as they use them. This is a minor tactical disadvantage for style's sake, but it's balanced out by the ability to speak incredibly quickly, being able to shout whole monologues at each other in the span of a single leap. Thirdly, they shall be greatly susceptible to hilariously contrived social misunderstandings, especially as pertains to sexuality.

Spoiler: Anaconda (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 25, 2019, 09:21:54 am by Egan_BW »
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I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #625 on: January 25, 2019, 01:01:41 am »

"Deal." Enryu said as he grinned.

Use 1 power to make Flexius rolll a 5. Then use the remaining power on my previou action
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The Lupanian

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #626 on: January 25, 2019, 02:32:39 am »

get them suckers organized. Turn them into a real fighting force, by training or discipline. If they obey me, get them to back off from the active offensive, but double down on defending our territory. Also try to get them to prioritize breeding. Consume the disobedient.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I only ate a few vampire hearts. Like, three tops. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Go check out Shadow of the Void!

TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Vibrating and Penetration
« Reply #627 on: January 25, 2019, 04:49:16 am »

I give the humans 3 decades before they're all dead or radically different from what they once were.

Absorb all the creative and destructive energies lying around throughout the universe.

"I'm curious as to what you plan, so sure, go ahead."

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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Ombragon

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #628 on: January 25, 2019, 05:13:24 am »

Spoiler: Vurol (click to show/hide)

This land, needs flavours and colours... Create rivers of a purple acidic slime and pools of a pink goo able to absorb souls on the Oozeworld
« Last Edit: January 25, 2019, 05:17:46 am by Ombragon »
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Egan_BW

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Sample Title
« Reply #629 on: January 25, 2019, 05:31:56 am »

"Thank you, Lord. This is going to be a fun one."
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I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.
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