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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 542403 times)

muldrake

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2370 on: October 14, 2020, 11:21:14 pm »

Elven caravans sometimes bring a kind of pipe weed with a pungent aroma which causes dwarves to become unproductive and say "wow" and "groovy" a lot.  This substance is illegal to possess.
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2371 on: October 14, 2020, 11:24:32 pm »

Wrestlers guild are now more likely to be used for entertainment. Wreslters will organize "fake" matches against each other, and invite other dwarves or beings from other civilizations to participate to the DWWT; the Dwarven World Wrestling Tournament

Sometimes they hit the other wrestler from behind with a chair. If a stone throne is used, this results in an instant kill. Otherwise, the target is paralyzed for life.

Some wrestlers will take products to have more muscular mass, and in some cases they might murder their families nbefore killing themselves.

Ooof. Too real.

Suplexes for days, though.

Edit: I don't know how I messed this message up so bad.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2020, 02:59:39 am by delphonso »
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ChaosPotato

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2372 on: October 15, 2020, 01:48:08 am »

Elven caravans sometimes bring a kind of pipe weed with a pungent aroma which causes dwarves to become unproductive and say "wow" and "groovy" a lot.  This substance is illegal to possess.
If your dwarves smoke too much of it, they turn into elves.
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2373 on: October 15, 2020, 01:50:27 am »

Elven caravans sometimes bring a kind of pipe weed with a pungent aroma which causes dwarves to become unproductive and say "wow" and "groovy" a lot.  This substance is illegal to possess.
If your dwarves smoke too much of it, they turn into elves.
Anything that gets caught in the smoke from this also has a chance to turn into an elf.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2374 on: October 15, 2020, 02:14:14 am »

goblin sabateurs now plant green gunpowder in elven trade caravans' weed bags, since they're too stoned to notice.

Sometimes, your dwarves explode and burn to death when they try to light up.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

ChaosPotato

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2375 on: October 15, 2020, 02:29:02 am »

goblin sabateurs now plant green gunpowder in elven trade caravans' weed bags, since they're too stoned to notice.

Sometimes, your dwarves explode and burn to death become goblins when they try to light up.
Fixed it for you.
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lontrus

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2376 on: October 15, 2020, 04:50:08 am »

I want music!
I want my mayor not able to fall asleep without some lulling lute playing in the background. I want dwarfs in neighbouring quarters not able to sleep because of the racket. I want instrument playing professions, talents. I want travelling orchestras and choirs. I want poets and poems written down in books. I want battle songs increasing morale of dwarves charging the enemy. But most of all I want tavern full of dwarves impulsively break into drinking songs.
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2377 on: October 15, 2020, 05:33:46 am »

I want music!
I want my mayor not able to fall asleep without some lulling lute playing in the background. I want dwarfs in neighbouring quarters not able to sleep because of the racket. I want instrument playing professions, talents. I want travelling orchestras and choirs. I want poets and poems written down in books. I want battle songs increasing morale of dwarves charging the enemy. But most of all I want tavern full of dwarves impulsively break into drinking songs.

Hmm...
Dwarves experience the nightmare that is working in a grocery store as there is a cap on the number of songs allowed to exist in any world - 8. The same 8 songs play over and over again, dwarves start off liking them, slowly dislike and then hate them, and slowly start to like them again as madness sets in around the fortress.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2378 on: October 15, 2020, 07:12:18 am »

Hmm...
Dwarves experience the nightmare that is working in a grocery store as there is a cap on the number of songs allowed to exist in any world - 8. The same 8 songs play over and over again, dwarves start off liking them, slowly dislike and then hate them, and slowly start to like them again as madness sets in around the fortress.

One of these songs is reserved for the winter season, in which it is the only song that is played.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

stoneneedle

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2379 on: October 15, 2020, 08:10:30 am »

(Inspired by the Greek myth of Ouranos, Kronos, and the birth of Aphrodite)

Add genitalia to the vanilla game, which can be severed like any other body part. When the genitals of a god, goddess, demon, or any powerful supernatural being occurs (most likely a rarity, but it could be part of the game creation myth as a percent chance) the genitals spawn another similarly powerful being, which also has a chance to fall on a sharp rock, sever its genitals, and start the process all over again.

Start a severed genitals pantheon--the Gelded Gods? The Dickless Deities? N'sync?
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2380 on: October 15, 2020, 05:46:34 pm »

Fun fact - male characters, if hit in the lower body and unarmored, can be hit with a "gelding strike" - causing them to be infertile from then on.

ChaosPotato

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2381 on: October 15, 2020, 07:43:47 pm »

Fun fact - male characters, if hit in the lower body and unarmored, can be hit with a "gelding strike" - causing them to be infertile from then on.
OOOOWWWW! MY PAINIS!
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2382 on: October 16, 2020, 12:38:04 am »

According to ToadyOne, goblins are meant to die violent deaths, and thus are immune to the effects of aging and disease.  To up the ante on gruesomeness, goblins are now also immune to atom smashing, freezing, and obsidianizing, and lethal wounds will only keep them down for a month or so.  The only way to put them down permanently is to eat them, which 1) your dwarves will now do, but 2) only if they've been butchered and cooked, which 3) can be tricky, because 4) your cooks will prioritize any other ingredient over goblin parts.  Better hope you can work through that hundred-deep stack of beef tallow before the next invasion.
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2383 on: October 16, 2020, 02:18:31 am »

If genitals get added all creatures will always focus their attacks on them.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2384 on: October 16, 2020, 02:26:07 am »

This makes the dwarven wrestling league 10x more entertaining
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
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