Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 429

Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 540170 times)

BigUglyWorm

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Terrible Suggestions Thread
« on: November 04, 2018, 06:39:31 pm »

There are pages and pages of good, solid suggestions, carefully thought out and with thorough consideration given for how to integrate them into the existing game. I think it's high time we make a thread dedicated to unbalanced, ill-conceived, and downright absurd ideas, which almost certainly won't (and, honestly, probably shouldn't) ever see the light of day.
I'll start: a "kick shin" option when targeting legs in combat; if your foot is armored and the target's lower leg isn't, it automatically breaks the bone and causes them to give in to pain.
Logged
We must prepare for the Vomitpocalypse.

Dorsidwarf

  • Bay Watcher
  • [INTERSTELLAR]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2018, 07:42:18 pm »

A workshop workshop. All workshops must be assembled at the workshop workshop before they can be placed
Logged
Quote from: Rodney Ootkins
Everything is going to be alright

NJW2000

  • Bay Watcher
  • You know me. What do I know?
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2018, 08:10:02 pm »

Add creepers.
Logged
One wheel short of a wagon

Dozebôm Lolumzalěs

  • Bay Watcher
  • what even is truth
    • View Profile
    • test
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2018, 01:11:00 am »

A workshop workshop. All workshops must be assembled at the workshop workshop before they can be placed
But the workshop workshop is itself a workshop! I know things like this already exist (only Armok could have made the first anvil, since you need an anvil to make an anvil) but at least the impossible creation happens off-screen.

Unless this is the joke.
Logged
Quote from: King James Programming
...Simplification leaves us with the black extra-cosmic gulfs it throws open before our frenzied eyes...
Quote from: Salvané Descocrates
The only difference between me and a fool is that I know that I know only that I think, therefore I am.
Sigtext!

SixOfSpades

  • Bay Watcher
  • likes flesh balls for their calming roundness
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2018, 01:48:55 am »

. . . His forty-sixth beard hair is very long. His forty-seventh beard hair is very long. His forty-eighth beard hair is very long. His forty-ninth beard hair is very long. His fiftieth beard hair . . .

Every time a Butcher stands in one place for more than a few ticks, he should leave behind a pool of blood.

All dwarves should be claustrophobic.

Every time a militiadwarf kills a goblin, or even sees a dead body, he should be overcome with horror and revulsion. (Oh whoops  :-X)

Every dwarf who successfully completes a Strange Mood should turn into an elf.

The game only operates in real time: It takes a full 365 real days to play an in-game year, and you cannot pause or save the game, ever.

And a few of my best ones from the distant past:

Cats should reproduce by asexual budding.

Toady should engage in some lucrative product placement. The text string "dwarven beer" is replaced with "Michelob," low boots are now Nikes, minecarts become Volvos, dwarven syrup is turned into Marmite, and the RNG keeps naming your military squads after professional sports teams.

Adamantine should be a farmable aboveground crop, with seeds available at embark or by trading with elves.

There are no dwarf women, their children simply spring out of holes in the ground. Each muddied soil tile has a 1% chance to generate a dwarf baby every 1st of Hematite.

The game employs realistic lighting: All areas that are Inside, Underground, Dark are represented by completely black tiles. The only way to "see" what is on each tile is by 'k' looking around, and even then, the text is dark gray on black.
Logged
Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

Fleeting Frames

  • Bay Watcher
  • Spooky cart at distance
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2018, 02:40:32 am »

The workshops/jobs should require set of tools, which each workshop having their own "anvil". If you don't have the tools, you can't do the jobs, and need to wait for caravan. If you do have, everything proceeds like it always has, so it mainly trips over newbies.

Children should learn faster, heal better and recover faster than adults. I imagine the consequences of this would be terrible for children.

Thousand+ sky z-levels, so we can actually see the clouds and cause weather-based warfare by building skyscrapers and burning coal. The frames will flee the game.

Goblin kidnappers and night hags infiltrating taverns under false identities to leave the map with either children or adults. Not going happen as outdated ancient systems will be wholesale rewritten, not tweaked, especially once in the myth release there may not be any goblins.

CABL

  • Bay Watcher
  • Has a fetish for voring the rich
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2018, 04:39:19 am »

Milkable elf women.
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

IndigoFenix

  • Bay Watcher
  • All things die, but nothing dies forever.
    • View Profile
    • Boundworlds: A Browser-Based Multiverse Creation and Exploration Game
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2018, 05:09:15 am »

Every action has a random chance of the creature tripping.

King Zultan

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2018, 05:26:39 am »

Always online DRM.
Logged
The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Shonai_Dweller

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2018, 06:47:20 am »

Goblin kidnappers and night hags infiltrating taverns under false identities to leave the map with either children or adults.
You lose the thread. This is a great suggestion (and will work in worlds with neither goblins nor night trolls in case anyone would be foolish enough to counter with the old 'procgen worlds means no kidnapping' argument...).

Imagine the joy of wondering what to do with the hordes of kids who turned up in the last migrant wave only to notice a goblin "bard" casually stroll past stuffing the kids into his instrument case.
Logged

TheBeardyMan

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2018, 07:17:49 am »

A new ultimate nemesis for dwarves: the "genre savvy goblin".

Hides behind a bush at the edge of a clearing, throws a sock into said clearing, and waits for an unsuspecting dwarf to collect it.
Logged

Lestrage

  • Bay Watcher
  • novice creature of the night
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2018, 08:26:22 am »

rideable pacifist dragons.
Logged
The platypus is making a plaintive gesture. The pangolin is striking a menacing pose. The penguin is laughing.

Bumber

  • Bay Watcher
  • REMOVE KOBOLD
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2018, 09:12:33 am »

Logged
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

anewaname

  • Bay Watcher
  • The mattock... My choice for problem solving.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2018, 09:57:30 am »

Insects everywhere!!

All buildings can gain an "infested" attribute, indicating they have insect problems. Wooden buildings can degrade and collapse, beds can become infested and dwarfs can complain about sleeping in an infested bed, being bitten, and become unhealthy. Dwarfs can find bugs in their food.

All unpastured poultry and some other animals will automatically seek out nearby infested buildings and lower the level of infestation.

And, oh yes, undead vermin!
Logged
Quote from: dragdeler
There is something to be said about, if the stakes are as high, maybe reconsider your certitudes. One has to be aggressively allistic to feel entitled to be able to trust. But it won't happen to me, my bit doesn't count etc etc... Just saying, after my recent experiences I couldn't trust the public if I wanted to. People got their risk assessment neurons rotten and replaced with game theory. Folks walk around like fat turkeys taunting the world to slaughter them.

Egan_BW

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2018, 11:28:09 am »

Lovingly modeled sexual reproduction system for all animals including dwarves. With detailed descriptions that pop up unannounced.
Logged
I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 429