. . . His forty-sixth beard hair is very long. His forty-seventh beard hair is very long. His forty-eighth beard hair is very long. His forty-ninth beard hair is very long. His fiftieth beard hair . . .
Every time a Butcher stands in one place for more than a few ticks, he should leave behind a pool of blood.
All dwarves should be claustrophobic.
Every time a militiadwarf kills a goblin, or even sees a dead body, he should be overcome with horror and revulsion. (Oh whoops
)
Every dwarf who successfully completes a Strange Mood should turn into an elf.
The game only operates in
real time: It takes a full 365 real days to play an in-game year, and you cannot pause or save the game, ever.
And a few of my best ones from
the distant past:
Cats should reproduce by asexual budding.
Toady should engage in some lucrative product placement. The text string "dwarven beer" is replaced with "Michelob," low boots are now Nikes, minecarts become Volvos, dwarven syrup is turned into Marmite, and the RNG keeps naming your military squads after professional sports teams.
Adamantine should be a farmable aboveground crop, with seeds available at embark or by trading with elves.
There
are no dwarf women, their children simply spring out of holes in the ground. Each muddied soil tile has a 1% chance to generate a dwarf baby every 1st of Hematite.
The game employs realistic lighting: All areas that are Inside, Underground, Dark are represented by completely black tiles. The only way to "see" what is on each tile is by 'k' looking around, and even then, the text is dark gray on black.