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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 542356 times)

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1830 on: July 07, 2020, 11:41:41 am »

Implement the economy with a fully-functional stock market system.  Dwarves can now get rich by investment trading.

Dwarves should be able to mine cryptocurrency by digging through walls of math using pickaxes.
Walls of math (and walls of other thoughts too) spawn around dwarves that are pondering,
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Azerty

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1831 on: July 07, 2020, 02:21:52 pm »

Dwarven bankers can loan money to cryptocurrency miners.
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"Just tell me about the bits with the forest-defending part, the sociopath part is pretty normal dwarf behavior."

ChaosPotato

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1832 on: July 07, 2020, 11:52:27 pm »

Dwarven bankers can loan monkey to cryptocurrency miners.
Fixed it for you.
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Boatsniper

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1833 on: July 08, 2020, 05:22:05 pm »

Whenever a transaction occurs, monkeys are spawned equal to the value exchanged.
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LordBaal

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1834 on: July 08, 2020, 05:26:39 pm »

If by some reason the numer is negative the spawned monkeys are undead monkeys.
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I'm curious as to how a tank would evolve. Would it climb out of the primordial ooze wiggling it's track-nubs, feeding on smaller jeeps before crawling onto the shore having evolved proper treds?
My ship exploded midflight, but all the shrapnel totally landed on Alpha Centauri before anyone else did.  Bow before me world leaders!

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1835 on: July 08, 2020, 10:11:19 pm »

Whenever a transaction occurs and the trade values are unequal, monkeys spawn on the tile of the individual who gave more value, and undead anti-monkeys spawn on the individual who recieved more value. If monkeys come into contact with anti-monkeys, the resulting explosion destroys the fort. Traders still demand their profit margin.

This applies to world gen and adventurer mode as well.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1836 on: July 09, 2020, 03:28:53 am »

Every action that produces something of value has a chance to spawn monkeys.
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1837 on: July 09, 2020, 07:57:22 am »

All of this occurs concurrently with monkeys themselves having trade value, meaning a fort can turn a tidy profit simply by dealing in the trade of its own commerce-spawned monkeys.  Add in the fact that monkeys still breed, and things can quickly spiral out of hand as dwarves open hedge funds and engage in speculative trade against current and projected future monkey population fluctuations over time; you'll have to alternate between aggressive breeding programs and equally aggressive culls to keep the economy from crashing, and complex cost-benefit analyses will be needed to determine whether a given number of monkeys is worth more alive or butchered for parts, all of which comes before you factor in the specter of FPS death.

The monkeys, it should be said, can get fed up with all this monkey business, and decide to fuck off en masse into the wilds, never to be seen again.
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1838 on: July 09, 2020, 08:45:45 am »

Any time something of value is destroyed, there's a chance to spawn undead monkeys. For example, monkey meat being eaten or rotting away.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Azerty

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1839 on: July 09, 2020, 02:16:53 pm »

Monkeys shall be the sole currency available, and it shall be used in exchange, generating other monkeys.

To simplify things, some industrious bankers might create strips of papers to symbolize monkeys, but, each time they print these, other monkeys are created.
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"Just tell me about the bits with the forest-defending part, the sociopath part is pretty normal dwarf behavior."

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1840 on: July 09, 2020, 02:48:53 pm »

Monkeys shall be the sole currency available, and it shall be used in exchange, generating other monkeys.

To simplify things, some industrious bankers might create strips of papers to symbolize monkeys, but, each time they print these, other monkeys are created.
This, of course, results in constant inflation, so after every transaction, the buying power of a single monkey diminishes.
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LordBaal

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1841 on: July 09, 2020, 06:31:24 pm »

The monkeys, it should be said, can get fed up with all this monkey business, and decide to fuck off en masse into the wilds, never to be seen again.returning on horseback, guns at hand ready to conquer the df world.
Fixed for you.

“Take your stinking beard off me, you damned dirty dwarf!”
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I'm curious as to how a tank would evolve. Would it climb out of the primordial ooze wiggling it's track-nubs, feeding on smaller jeeps before crawling onto the shore having evolved proper treds?
My ship exploded midflight, but all the shrapnel totally landed on Alpha Centauri before anyone else did.  Bow before me world leaders!

nik the dwarf

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1842 on: July 09, 2020, 06:36:35 pm »

Just as there are different denominations of currency, there are also different denominations of trade-monkeys. Small value marmosets and up to the highest value mandrills. For very high values, giant versions of the animals are produced. The monkey money system extends to the bee-conomy discussed earlier, but the bees use and generate micro-monkeys.
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1843 on: July 10, 2020, 03:38:28 am »

The monkeys, it should be said, can get fed up with all this monkey business, and decide to fuck off en masse into the wilds, never to be seen again.returning on horseback, guns at hand ready to conquer the df world.
Fixed for you.

“Take your stinking beard off me, you damned dirty dwarf!”
I would fear roving bands of monkeys riding horses more than I have ever, ever feared goblins.
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1844 on: July 10, 2020, 04:49:34 am »

Zoos inspire ethical dilemma thoughts in some dwarves. Urist wants to see gorillas, Momuz feels weird locking up such sentient creatures, Cilob feels bad knowing that gorilla has a kill list.
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