Right out of the gate, The Two Eternities (whichever ones those may be) lunges at Puppyguard with the rage of a thousand Rajneeshees in order to grab her pistol! [7 v 7] However, Puppyguard deftly sidesteps the Argentinian wiki-warrior's lunge leaving The Two Eternities grabbing nothing but air!
Rockeater, being of a less aggressive, more business-focused mind, barks out a quick "Looking like a promising company, so let's help" before ducking into a nearby office in search of a job interview! After about a minute of running around the dusty industrial compound, she bursts into a low building labeled "Recruitment", in which sits an overall generic looking man. Upon closer inspection, it appears that this gentleman is sound asleep, as evidenced by his closed eyes, light snoring, and thin string of drool dripping out of his mouth and in between the keys of his keyboard.
Having just narrowly avoided being tackled by The Two Eternities, Puppyguard turns her pistol upon her assailant, eyes burning with righteous indignation! [9 v 3] Using her extensive police training, she swiftly directs three bullets right into The Two Eternities' shoulder blades, sending him sprawling on the ground!
Seeing the brutal display of police brutality unfolding in front of them, King Zultan makes a beeline away from the melee and straight into the closest building! Inside, he sees several workers wearing hazmat suits similar to his own, too focused on the assembly line in front of them to pay him any mind. With this reprieve from the action, he takes the time to scan the immediate area for something, anything that could count as a weapon. [Searching: 8] After a cursory glance, King Zultan sees a nail gun lying on a nearby table, which he quickly scoops up without anyone noticing!
Thinking along the same lines as Rockeater, NAV too runs away in search of a job, whilst screaming "Have fun killing each other. I have a job interview to get to!" However, while Rockeater was searching for a low-level job, NAV is looking to go straight to the top by obtaining an interview with Elon Musk himself! It doesn't take long for the Irish wiki-warrior to find Elon's private office, but unfortunately it appears that his way forward is blocked by a locked door and the keycard reader next to it. Looks like Mr. Musk is a big fan of personal security.
Clad in priestly garments, the immortal wiki-warrior known as Fluffee comes to the startling, if somewhat blasphemous, realization that they could easily convince some of the local workers that he is the second coming of Jesus Christ! Quickly hopping in his caravan, he quickly drives over to Gigafactory 1's communal dining facility, whereupon he begins proselytizing at the assorted workers! [Proselytizing: 1 + 2 (Theology)]. However, despite his fine usage of Christian language, the workers seem confused at best and outright enraged at worst, muttering and grumbling amongst themselves.
Squinting at the battle unraveling before them with the elderly man known as Mr. Plinkett, Hotfire quickly comes to a conclusion. After whispering into Mr. Plinkett's ear, he pulls a can of spinach out of his pocket and downs the whole thing in a single gulp! As his muscles grow to a cartoonishly large size, he swaggers over to the huge chunk of 1996 PW, lifts it up with a single arm, and and sends the 10 ton chunk of rock sailing through the air towards Puppyguard! [1 v 10] Despite the asteroid chunk's impressive size, or rather because of it, Hotfire has an extremely hard time actually getting the giant piece of rock anywhere near Puppyguard and instead misses her by at least 15 feet!
Not wishing to waste any time, NRDL hops into her antique biplane and takes to the skies! [Flying: 3] Or she would, anyway, if she actually managed to get the damn thing off the ground in the first place. Rather, the engine putters pathetically and the plane haphazardly lurches forward around 10 feet before grinding to a halt. How disappointing.
Finally there is roseheart, who sneakily sneaks away from the combat, ducking into yet another nearby building! (Gigafactory 1, as the name would suggest, is pretty big). Through the front door of this building lies a large open room, full of chairs, vending machines, and water coolers. Around one such water cooler in particular stand a group of six burly workers, having a conversation.
Name: NRDL
Gender: Female
Nationality: American
Dorothy Parker: +2 Poetry, +2 Short Story Writing, +1 Wit, +Flapper's Dress
Microbeads: +Vial of Microbeads
Armstrong Whitworth Siskin: +Armstrong Whitworth Siskin WWI Biplane
Michael Joncas: +2 Theology, +1 Roman Catholicism, +1 Religious Music
Ocular Straylight: +Ability: Ocular Fragment
Status: Fine
Points: 0
Assets: Flapper’s Dress, Vial of Microbeads, Armstrong Whitworth Siskin WWI Biplane
Abilities:
Ocular Fragment: You can temporally fragment the corneas of a nearby player or NPC, causing them to be blinded by bright lights for a short period. 4 turn cooldown.
Name: NAV
Gender: Male
Nationality: Irish
Yu Ming Is Ainm Dom: +Ability: Incomprehensible Foreigner, +2 Foreign Languages
Royal Society of Queensland: +2 Science, +1 Research
Auckland Chamber of Commerce: +Asset: 725 New Zealand Dollars, +2 Economics
Duke of Bedford: +Asset: Dukedom of Bedford, +Asset: Royal Robes
Walter Henry Wilson: +2 Architecture, +1 Sailing
Status: Fine
Points: 0
Assets: Royal Robes, 725 New Zealand Dollars, Dukedom of Bedford
Abilities:
Incomprehensible Foreigner: You cannot be understood by people who do not speak your native language. However, most people will find this endearing and attempt to help you out despite the language barrier.
Allies: None
Name: King Zultan
Gender: Male
Nationality: British
Balance Theory: +Ability: Balanced Thoughts
Colours of Ostrava: +Asset: Colours of Ostrava Weekend Pass, +2 Music
Lyualka AL-5: +Asset: Lyualka AL-5
20 Variations in G Major: +2 Piano, +1 Composition
Davyhulme Sewage Works: +Asset: Protective Suit, +2 Sewage Treatment
Assets: Protective Suit, Colours of Ostrava Weekend Pass, Lyualka AL-56, Nail Gun [LR] (40/40)
Abilities:
Balanced Thoughts: You can influence an NPC to hold the opinions of a different NPC on a specific topic. 4 Turn Cooldown.
Allies: None
Name: roseheart
Gender: Female
Nationality: Azerbaijani
The Combined: +Asset: Five-Piece Suit, +2 Organized Crime, +2 Bootlegging
Behbud Khan Javanshir: +2 Politics, +2 Diplomacy
Zimmerit: +Asset: Bucket of Zimmerit
NORAZ Poets: +Ability: Alzheimer's, +2 Poetry
Lizbeth Sainz: +Asset: Volleyball, +2 Volleyball
Status: Fine
Points: 0
Assets: Five-Piece Suit, Bucket of Zimmerit, Volleyball
Abilities:
Alzheimer's: You have Alzheimer's Disease! Every 10 turns, you will lose 1 modifier point for a random ability. No Cooldown.
Allies: None
Name: Hotfire
Gender: Male
Nationality: Sierra Leonean
Blow Me Down!: +Ability: Spinach Strength, +Asset: Can of Spinach
Kelvin Doe: +2 Engineering, +1 DJing
1996 PW: +Asset: Large Chunk of 1996 PW
Ivan Santos: +Asset: Racing Bicycle, +2 Biking
Red Letter Media: +Ally: Mr. Plinkett, +2 Film Reviewing, +1 Filmmaking
Status:
Super Strong! (4)
Points: 0
Assets: Modern Clothes, Can of Spinach, Large Chunk of 1996 PW (Approx. 500 kg), Racing Bicycle
Abilities:
Spinach Strength: Upon consuming a moderate quantity of spinach, you gain a significant boost to all rolls involving physical strength for several turns. No Cooldown.
Allies:
Mr. Plinkett (Status: Fine | Wheelchair, Stained Clothing, Dark Sunglasses | +2 Kidnapping, +2 Film Reviewing)
Name: Fluffee
Gender: Male
Nationality: Vanuatu
Alan Rogers: +Asset: Caravan, +2 Camping
Ishmael Kalasakau: +2 Politics
Canid Hybrid: +Ability: Instantaneous Breeding
Resurrection: +Ability: Life Eternal
Peter Milward: +Asset: Jesuit Robes, +2 Theology, +1 Literature
Status: Fine
Points: 0
Assets: Jesuit Robes, Caravan
Abilities:
Instantaneous Breeding: You can instantly combine two dogs into a single dog, with the physical and mental characteristics of the first two dogs combined. 3 Turn Cooldown.
Life Eternal: Upon dying, you will automatically resurrect in 2 turns unless your body is incinerated, vaporized, chopped up into tiny pieces, or otherwise destroyed beyond any hope of repair. All injuries you sustained will not be healed and will maintain their general penalties, but will no longer contribute to your bleed-out timer.
Allies: None
Name: Rockeater
Gender: Female
Nationality: British
Ian Simmonds: +2 Jazz, +1 Electronica
Strategic Dominance: +Ability: Dominating Presence
Mary Percy, Countess of Northumberland: +Asset: Noble Robes, +Asset: County of Northumberland
Mark Ames: +2 Journalism, +1 Writing
David N. Feldman: +2 Economics, +1 Finance
Status: Fine
Points: 0
Assets: Noble Robes, Country of Northumberland
Abilities:
Dominating Presence: Upon beating another player in an opposed roll, you gain a bonus on all rolls against that player for 3 turns. Winning subsequent rolls against other players will not increase the bonus, but will extend it's duration. No cooldown.
Allies: None
Author
Topic: Wikipedia Wars: Recapitulation [Turn 2: God Willing] (Read 5995 times)