Okay, yeah, can't complete this today. See you all tomorrow.
Where tomorrow is five days. Dear god.
defend
defend something useful.
You defend the Godmodder!
Stab the hell guardian
You stab a literal pile of pulp. You believe that this is in God's wishes, so you've accomplished
something. You think so, anyway.
Teleport in, turn green, and explode in the hell guardian's face. Take only 1 damage.
You explode in the Hell Guardian's pulpy face, taking one damage! This one damage somehow gives the pulp of the Hell Guardian a spark of life. Hell Slime summoned, as a
[PG].
Public Service Announcement - Non-Players and the [PG]TagThis public service announcement is most definitely being used in the fashion that public service announcements should be. This was worth sending emergency notifications to your phone for, and most definitely does
not happen to be an excuse to reactivate the surveillance programs that the Committee have placed in there.
Now, some of you might be wondering how random non-players get the vaunted
PG tag. What, did they pay one BTC to me whilst none of you were looking? Yes, they paid one BTC whilst none of you were looking, but to be fair I just stole that from their soul debit. You're vulnerable to getting money stolen from your soul debit if you aren't aligned with a player, meaning that
only uncontrolled pro-Godmodder entities get the [PG] tag.
Keep driving forwards! For... whatever cause we're doing this for! Onwards!
+0.2% distance, due to the interference of the newest pack of demons!
Eviscerate consumptiveAbsolutist's soul.
My soul doesn't have any viscera.
defend
defend something useful.
Be that something useful: enlightenment.
Continue injecting Buddhism into this obvious Dante emulation.
Maybe turn Hell into a big wheel or something.
Yes, a big wheel with Satan at the centre, that's obviously very original and not literally the source material at all. And let's say the hub of the wheel is full of ice for symbolism reasons.
Anyway, all the Lemures' souls transmigrate.
(At certain times and places, Ancient Greek mythology is actually less unlike Buddhism than you might expect.)
You attempt to inject Buddhism into this Dante
simulation, like an elite Buddhist hacker or something, and attempt to turn hell into a wheel. As you begin, a General 'ministrator descends upon you. You pause. Reality is a simulation? That's a conspiracy theory more basic than white bread and water.
"The Committee of Gruesome Murderers are atheists. They prefer not to go to the
real hell," the General 'ministrator helpfully exposits. "That's why we make a fake hell, for conducting torture tests and experim-- I mean, allowing our members to have a peaceful afterlife in whatever realm they choose. Until you decided to hack it."
You find a wheel in your hands, with some sort of lesser demon in the centre. The General 'ministrator, one of the many sysadmins of hell, is holding a ladder. It's definitely not a ladder, but it looks like a ladder. He spins the ladder around, smacking a lemure with it. Sin, glorious sin, acculmulates in the lemure's body. It swells and twists and becomes a hungry ghost, before striking you! The General 'ministrator gives you a health bar as a gift.
Eviscerate consumptiveAbsolutist's soul.
Qlippoth Armor auto shields prevent it, and eats Sophias soul as in Hell can access such power while Tyrant takes the dead he’ll guardian and nearby demons and feeds the armor. As it also draws on Hell itself, as it was in Hell on Wheels escorting GMer within.
TL meanwhile summons a warp gate and uses it to sling shot the vehicle and passengers further along, keeping olio thanks to haste.
Egan hasn't started being Sophia yet! Thanks for saving me, anyway. You sling shot Hell on Wheels to 9%, getting us to the River Acheron.
"Ehh, fuck this, I'm gonna go get a burrito."
Ninjaflip out of hell, using previously established absurd dodge skill. Go get a burrito at my favorite stand out in the void (run by devils, of course. not that I care.)
Stop, being Egan, royalist knight of thorns.
Start being Sophia, whom my signature (which does not exist) is a reference to! I am currently Being stabbed by a dozen scimitars on the end of magical animated chains.
You go and get a burrito at your favourite voidic burrito stand. It's pretty good. You then start being Sophia, which is a very painful job!
Eviscerate consumptiveAbsolutist's soul.
Qlippoth Armor auto shields prevent it, and eats his soul as in Hell can access such power while Tyrant takes the dead he’ll guardian and nearby demons and feeds the armor. As it also draws on Hell itself, as it was in Hell on Wheelscescorting GMer within.
TL meanwhile summons a warp gate and uses it to sling shot the vehicle and passengers further along, keeping olio thanks to haste.
No no, the thorn knight isn't doing that. Just me.
just egan
Grow wings and hug the magpie. Use ribs as impromptu cage and enclose the magpie inside it. Run to the old man before he takes off. Get into the boat with him and threaten to sic the magpie on him if he doesn't give us a ride.
The reaper smiles. "Bag of bones, you possess the animate force, but not the vital force -- that which makes men men, and that which makes men exploitable. Whilst I'd
love to take such a brilliant soul as yourself into the fiery depths of oblivion, it appears that I must stick with the magpie."
It uses its scythe to cut through your bones, and to remove the magpie from your ribcage, before ferrying the thing across the river Acheron. You hear a scream.
Eviscerate consumptiveAbsolutist's soul.
Trickle looks around Hell. Obviously, since this is Hell, there have to be pools of magma everywhere. As magma is acidic, ingesting it increases one's acidity? Except, actually, lemons are acidic, yet adding them to water and then consuming said substance increases your pH. Catch my drift? Swiftly pulling out a glass of tomato juice from behind his back, Trickle adds one tiny drop of hellish magma to create the Bloodier Mary cocktail. He then walks up to Egan, bumping him gently on the shoulder and passing it to him.
"Uh. Hey. Drink this. It definitely won't increase your pH, and give you that tag you wanted. Mhm. Just a regular ol' hell cocktail."
After passing the cocktail, he winks quickly at the red sun. Hopefully nobody notices.
Egan proceeds to ditch you and leave to Earth. You cry.
PUT BOTH MY HANDS FORE AND MIDDLE FINGERS TO MY FOREHEAD, AND PSIONICALLY FOCUS, AND SPONTANEOUSLY GENERATE SUPER POWERS OF THE PSIONIC VARIETY.
You become a psionic! I'm not sure that's the best set of powers in hell of all places. After all, there's a lot of bad thoughts in hell, and bad thoughts are an extreme risk to novitiate psychics: they often overwhelm them, turning them into a sort of nightmarism maelstroms.
(Fine then you win. Take my Bay Twelve Coin and choke on it.)
"At least anime aren't currently being babysat at the moment," Sir Elventide wisecracked in response to the Godmodder's insult.
Though Egan disappeared and the Hell Guardian was slain, a group of demons were blasted by the now enhanced explosive rounds only to be replaced by a magpie. Though he couldn't tell whether anything was out of the ordinary with the bird, Sir Elventide wasn't taking any chances with anything that called Hell home. However, he chose to conserve the enchanted rounds and didn't want to hit Secheral.
Attack the magpie with bolts of lightning. Nevermind then, Secheral is trapping it inside a rib cage and talking about siccing it on some boatman. Scan the horizon for incoming threats instead.
I can't choke on digital currency, silly.
You scan the horizon for incoming threats, and note the reaper. You're going to have to take it out.
The Magpie was actually your inner self all along.
Secheral kneels down, feeling something ripping at his being.
Eviscerate consumptiveAbsolutist's soul.
Trickle looks around Hell. Obviously, since this is Hell, there have to be pools of magma everywhere. As magma is acidic, ingesting it increases one's acidity? Except, actually, lemons are acidic, yet adding them to water and then consuming said substance increases your pH. Catch my drift? Swiftly pulling out a glass of tomato juice from behind his back, Trickle adds one tiny drop of hellish magma to create the Bloodier Mary cocktail. He then walks up to Egan, bumping him gently on the shoulder and passing it to him.
"Uh. Hey. Drink this. It definitely won't increase your pH, and give you that tag you wanted. Mhm. Just a regular ol' hell cocktail."
After passing the cocktail, he winks quickly at the red sun. Hopefully nobody notices.
Egan (which now refers to a flesh human rather than a thorn knight) inspects the cup for a moment and the says "Why does this have a pebble in it?" He then hands the cap back to you and walks through a handy HELLPORTAL back to earth, where he belongs.
I don't see why you can't drink completely solid and burning hot objects.
You return to Earth, where you belong. Only, you don't. You find yourself in a place that isn't quite like the void that thorn angels go to, but instead an inky blackness.
Open fire on demons ahead!
10 damage to all three miscellaneous demons!
Shoot the enemy's in there faces.
Another volley of 10 damage to all three miscellaneous demons! I think that attacking specific enemies may allow you to harder.
Eat consumptiveAbsolutist's soul, by force/stealing if neccessary.
Use the resulting META POWERZ to forcibly send Egan_BW (the thorn knight) forward in time by 1 turns, removing them from the scene and preventing anything from harming them.
There's no Egan the thorn knight. As you made a mistake, you clearly can't be as meta as me, meaning that you can't steal my powers. Sorry not sorry.
Screeching in ever-increasing rage, AAAAAAAAAAAA attempts to Erase Time with his Stand, allowing him to instantly be in front of Charon. He then threatens Charon (using King Crimson to speak comprehensibly) with immense pain and displeasure if he doesn't afford passage to AAAAAAAA and its allies.
You teleport in front of the reaper. The results of your action will be chronicled in today's event!
Annoyed at AAAAAAAAAAAA's antic, Sir Elventide rolled him eyes as the amorphous blob of A's threatened some boatman in the distance. "Even in Hell, there's no shortage of crazies, eh?"
Hell's where all of the crazies go, remember.
Eat consumptiveAbsolutist's soul, by force/stealing if neccessary.
Use the resulting META POWERZ to forcibly send Egan_BW (the thorn knight) forward in time by 1 turns, removing them from the scene and preventing anything from harming them.
Qlippoth Armor prevents soul eat, Punch in the face, as Tyrant attempts to bribe boat man with cash.:
Thanks, Leviathan! You attempt to bribe the reaper with cash. It happily takes the cash, and points out that you didn't say what
you in particular want!
"Ehehe... How about no? I'll wait until I'm actually dead."
"Oh, um... How deep is this river?"
Start heading back, spear at the ready. DON'T be close to... It when I ask it about the river.
"How about no? Aha, stepping into the pits of Gehenna was your yes! The river Acheron mightn't be very deep, but its touch still expurgates sinners of things such as resistance and thought."
It'd step forward, but it's blocked by A8.
Keep driving forwards! For... whatever cause we're doing this for! Onwards!
The reaper blocks your path!
Capitalist Conundrum -- IAAAAAAA acts -- King Crimson demands that Capitalist Charon let the pro-Godmodders forward. It's only fair, after all.
"Oh, I'm more than happy to let you all forward, but I demand that you leave your money and weaponry at the door. In hell, implements of assault must be gathered up from the areas of wrath, or taken from your own decrepit soul."
I don't need to run a round to know your responses.You take out your spears and knives and guns, Hell on Wheels at the river bank ready and able to shoot the reaper down. The king punches the reaper in the face, and the reaper reveals its bling -- necklaces, chains and amulets dangling around its neck, its scythe gilded and adorned with jewellery.
"Oh, so you're hell squatters? I'm the landlord of this place, and I'm demanding you get out!"
[PG] Maximum Spin.
Blood_Librarian: 25/25 HP. Psionic.
Tyrant Leviathan: Haste.
Dustan Hache: Cat. on the Godmodder's head.
roseheart: Cat. is the Godmodder's beard.
Secheral: Revenant.
Greatness942, Gwolfski: nineteen eleven, colt fourty-five, holding back the vampires, keeping him alive
MoonyTheHuman: 24/25 HP.
[PG] Sophia: 25/25 HP. Being stabbed by a dozen scimatars.
[PG] TrickleJest.
[PG] Maximum Spin: 20/25 HP.
Aliemma: 25/25 HP.
[PG] Hell on Wheels: 275/275 HP. 9 Splash Ammo.
Metallic Men: 5/5 HP. x20.
[PG] Hell Slime: 10/10 HP.
Cerberus: 105/200 HP.
Mind Flayer: 105/200 HP.
YT Scion: 105/200 HP.
Lemures:
DEAD. x∞.
Capitalist Charon: 400/400 HP.
Phase 1.The Godmodder: 10/10 HP. Qliphoth Armour: 100/100 HP. Caduceus. Pseudo-accelerated.
Days Left: 27
[05/02/18].
Distance to the Ninth Circle: 8.5%.
The Void? [-%]Egan_BW: 25/25 HP. Dark Wood Grain Ring.
Author
Topic: Escort the Godmodder! (Read 19270 times)