POWER OF GOD COME TO ME, SLAY THIS INFERNAL BEAST, DEUS VULT! HOLY BEAM
You invoke the power of God upon the accurst Hellish Guardian, and raise your sword, before firing a beam of holy light at the thing. The beam cleaves through the Hell Guardian.
It's dead.Because hell favors this action, shred Tyrant's powers and laugh in its face. Make sure it hurts.
You shred through Tyrant Leviathan's power, before laughing at him! You make sure to ensure that it's extremely painful, but I don't think that Leviathan is particularly concerned about that.
To get the special
[pH] tag, standing for Pro-Hell, you'll need to pay 5 BTC. There's a catch, but I'm legally obligated to not actually tell you about it.
Edit:
:Watches his power shredded but smirks.:
:Summons Qlippoth Armor, plants GM in It for a saving chance.:
“ Why am smirking? We are all equals here now. Meaning you equal myself!”
Proceeds to do Liu Kangs bicycle kick on his face. While speaking.:
“ Share the pain mother ****er!” As he loses his over powered stuff, does not need it anymore.:
You call upon the Qliphoth Armour, before forcing it on top of the Godmodder! The Godmodder looks at it. Most of its power has been ripped out of it by a certain royalist, shredded and rendered open. In other words, it's an empty husk of an empty shell. No matter -- you should be able to summon more, if you find more angels to kill.
>Draw my [Lightningrage, Sacred Sword of the Galefinder] and attack any enemies
You draw Lightningrage, and prepare to attack incoming enemies!
Drive Hell on Wheels further into Hell, firing the armaments as I do so. Also, note to self- need to add chainsaws to the front. Not now, but eventually.
You drive Hell on Wheels further into the outer darkness, blasting its weaponry at any opposition.
(I'd give you a Bay Twelve Coin for the [PG] if such a thing existed. Scratch that, I have a better idea: give me the damn tag or I will teleport you into a lake of fire. In a side note, telling by Egan's HP, I'd say that he have had too much pie. ;P)
Seeing an assortment of coked up simpletons determined people help guard the Godmodder, including one who summoned a strange tank known as Hell on Wheels, Sir Elventide quickly climbed inside after ordering his metallic men to continue keeping Egan and the Hell Guardian occupied. An idea forming in his head, Sir Elventide walked over to the ammo supply and:
Enchant the shells to increase their explosive damage. He will then load one of them into the main cannon of the tank and swivel the turret toward Egan and attempt to shoot him in the stupid face if he doesn't behave.
Teleport me into a lake of fire, I dare you.
You give Hell on Wheels about ten rounds of splash ammo, before turning them towards Egan. Sometimes, you only need to give someone a just load of a few rockets to their face in order to get them to shut up.
Furnish consumptiveAbsolutist with one Bodhi Tad Citta in exchange for the [PG] tag.
One
[PG] tag given!
Toss CA a Cold White Coin for the [PG] tag. I'll render this meaningless. Like everything, really.
(You might say that the old law prohibits me from buying and selling. Well microtransactions don't count, turns out.)
One
[PG] tag given! Microtransactions override divine law? I see.
The [PG] tag. It looks so... so tempting.
"...I have to fucking get it. I have to. I have this feeling in my pants, it just tells me, it beckons, it tells me I have to get the fucking tag."
He nonchalantly walks up to... uh... the GM? Whatever. Let's say he just winks at the sky, or the giant hell stalagmites, or the bedrock ceiling (kek).
"Hey, can I pay with my soul? The one I totally have and always had?"
Obviously, being Trickle, he has an improvised Plan B.
"Cheese give it to me???"
I mean, that has to work, right?
You wink at the red sun in the outer darkness. The red sun winks back, and calls you cute.
Sure, but your soul is mine. What if you don't have a soul? I hear of
certain genocidal maniacs reducing a poor husk to possessing negative souls, and forcing them to work in Starbucks and do whatever servile work they need to pay back their soul debt. This is crude sadism, and I can't stand for it. Instead, I say that you definitely do have a soul. If someone who isn't you actually doesn't have a soul? Oh, yeah, then I bring out the soul debt.
CHARGE FORWARD, KILLING THEM ALL WITH MY TINY GUIN AND BIG T-REX MOUTH
You'd do that, but there's no demons!
Revive as a revenant and try to hold back tears while desperately photoshopping self onto famous playboys. Show new photos to hell guardian. He'll believe me, right? RIGHT?
You revive as a revenant, and then show doctored versions of yourself to the Hell Guardian. Secret of the trade: dead people believe everything, as long as you play Weekend at Bernie's with them! You aren't playing Weekend at Bernie's with the dead corpse, so instead it lies there -- sitting, staring, saluting its eventual march to decay and then dust.
You forget that your face has experienced putrefaction. In most countries and cultures, especially ones that appreciate playboy models, putrefied and otherwise dead corpses tend to be considered, ahem,
aesthetically unappealing.
: Takes time to gouge the Hell Guardian in the eyes when he got ran over while Armor clads the GMer. Has a plan to revive power. Not yet.:
You desecrate the Hell Guardian's corpse further.
"YISUN dammit he has only 10 HP, why is it so difficult to kill this weakling? And why are these deviants helping him? Are they just stupid enough to believe chainmails?"
Put on Dark Wood Grain Ring, getting those absurd ninjaflip I-frames baby.
Using my position as official ally of the Godmodder, cast Cure Moderate Wounds on him, damaging him due to the curse placed on him by a witch!
The Qliphoth armour lights up, before absorbing the healing energies into itself! You become a pseudo-ninja, master of anti-subterfuge.
: Cue Egan healed from feet kicks. As a shell appears over the GM. Reflect spell. As for the Tyrant? Just attacking the guardian and reaches in cost for a bottle.:
Smashes it, reveal a fairie, Leviathan eats the fairie, status restored Zelda style.:
You restore your powers, before beating up the Guardian's corpse further!
"We're helping this guy because those 'chain mail' could be real and I don't want my anim- favorite things destroyed and myself harmed!" Sir Elventide replied with a yell from one of the tank's view ports. "Behave yourself, you idiotic, slack-jawed cretin or I will personally blow your thick skull and the dimwitted microbe you called a brain to pieces!"
"
Weeb."
You shut Egan down.
"Anything could be true. God is a lier, after all. The presence of a chain letter does not make defending the GM any more or less of a good choice, as chain letters are not often regarded as good sources of information. Please examine your own thinking before calling me an idiot."
"Egan is observant," said YISUN, as Egan turns back on.
Scout ahead some more to get away from the suspiciously left at 1 HP demon make sure we don't have more problems in .2 seconds! Surely this group's got things under control.
You scout ahead to ensure that you don't have anymore problems in a fifth of a second. It takes you roughly twenty seconds to get to about 9% distance, where you notice a river. A seemingly endless line of all those who committed follies in life stretches onwards, a reaper-esque figure standing behind them. It's like an old man, but its eyes are that of a falcon, or a kite or a eagle or indeed that of any bird that preys on weaker things to make its living. It carries a scythe, as all reapers do, but one rusted with the marks of age and battered. You watch it slam its scythe into a sinner. The sinner bends down, before limbering forth. It looks at you.
"Hello, my dearest living thing. You aren't quite dead, but that doesn't really matter.
Get on the boat."
The old man cackles.
*Points at Sir Elventide's personal text*
The sword is an ugly piece of metal and its adherents idiots.
Meti-approved.
"Anything could be true. God is a lier, after all. The presence of a chain letter does not make defending the GM any more or less of a good choice, as chain letters are not often regarded as good sources of information. Please examine your own thinking before calling me an idiot."
"Making sure the Godmodder gets further into hell so he gets what you believe he deserves seems like it'd be something you'd want to do. What's the problem?
But you see, the Godmodder
also wants to do this, and everyone who hates the Godmodder wants to deny the Godmodder's rights, so therefore you need to prevent him from going to hell.
"I have no idea who any of you are, I am just here to murder demons and other evil, as God wills it"
That's fair, and completely condoned in this household.
*points at Egan's personal text*
"Says the ignoramus who compares himself to a log! You will be chopped, alright! Besides, do you want to take that kind of chance if it turns out to be real?"
Turning to Scourge, Sir Elventide replied, "If that's the case, then it's a hopeless endeavor. Here you are, fighting in their domain, while they have untold numbers and God knows what abominations at their beck and call. It's like going into the ocean to slay every sea creature you can find."
Compared. Completely different. You also point out the pointlessness of Scourge's mission...
"I know it is futile, but God wills it, and if He wills it, it must be right, for He is Right."
...allowing us to tell who's read the Book of Job, and who hasn't read the Book of Job.
*Points at own signature*
You point at a non-physical and possibly non-existent entity.
“ Why do you always oppose the majority? Get a kick out of it or just feel cool to go against the grain? I myself do not care as long my favorite stuff is safe and a bonus to kill things.
And you criticise Egan's tendencies to rebel!
Be ready to shoot any demons that show up.
You ignore all of the people talking amongst themselves about their thoughts on the other's goal, and happen to be prepared for the Real Issues.
"What are these "signatures" and "personal texts" you keep referring to? As far as I can see, you're all being baseless.
Before running off, she looks around for some kind of floating text, finding none.
You attempt to look around for a floating text, or a non floating text, or really any text that happens to be able to be called a signature. You claw at the ground, you scream at the sky, you even disobey your mother's instructions and look into the (red) sun (of hell). Eventually, you find something nearly indescribable, something that makes you choke up when thinking about it. It is text, of a sort, but it exists outside of the confines of what you can see or hear. It is the language of reality, what all things are written in. Of course, it is used by the Great Ones outside of reality to take snappy quotes and show them to other Great Ones.
"Well if you truly believe that then I won't stop you, just as long as you don't stand against us," Sir Elventide said to Scourge.
Checkmate, atheists.
Amidst the arguing, AAAAAAAAA begins appearing frustrated(As frustrated as a mass of faceless letters can be), and his Stand reflects this in it's own expression.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Use King Crimson to body the Hell Guardian before activating Epitaph to read as far into the future as possible.
You read into the future, before noticing that it's blocked out by Charon's bling and a magpie's... feathers?
You then render the Hell Guardian into pulp.
Reflect on the fact that Hell is exactly like water, in that both are just a figment of Maya. Everyone is now in the Water Level of Hell.
But you were about to get to the water level of hell. One of the water levels of hell? Please be patient, anyhow.
She stops at the front of Hell on Wheels and looks a little embarrassed but also relived, she realizes she’s still holding the Godmodder’s hand and drops it. Red Girl glances back to the thing she ran from but it appears that it’s fallen behind for now. “Don't ask about it when you learn about these things you just get paranoid from realizing that life got a whole lot worse and you just spend nights staring up at the ceiling without sleeping some nights.” She then takes a look around in the vechicle and then notices the rear view mirror and ducks underneath it’s field of reflection before turning it around to face forward. She turns around to face the Godmodder smiling apologeticly for her odd behavior befote trying to remember what her and the Godmodder were talking about.
“I’m not a guardian angel, not even close. If I was I’d be probably try to make sure you never got into this mess in the first place. And why would you even want to go to hell? IT’S HELL!” She circles her arms around the general area for emphasis,” If you’re one of those self punishing types you’re going to make my life quite a bit harder, I need you in one piece, if you’re gone I’m back to square one Goldie .” Red Girl probably wasn’t her first choice. “Wait lemme do something,” she takes a small wooden snake totem out of her pocket before biting down one of her fingers causing a dropof blood to welt up. She smears it onto the totem of the snake caduceus. “It’s a degined to protect you from harm and guessing from how things are, you’ll need everything you can get.” Her eyes flit up to the flipped rear view mirror “You willing to help me out Goldie? I help you not die and you help me fulfill a, uh, favor I owe.” She offers her hand to shake on it.
"
I want to go to hell so I can be literally the worst, guardian not-angel. Sleep is for losers, anyway, and it's a horrendous waste of time -- if you're sleeping, you've wasted seven hours of your life on not dying, and you're still dying at the same rate you were before. Every time you sleep, you get punked. Anyway, thanks. I'll see about the favour."
Aliemma is in a bad situation, and has been given a health bar as a... gift.
Merc, Lacking MercyYou proceed forward on the Hell on Wheels, getting 2.5% ahead! A group of demons approaches you, and the Hell on Wheels immediately opens fire! -1 Splash Ammo, 75 damage to all of them! Then a magpie flies in. A magpie pecked out my great-great-great-great step-grandfather's eyes. Don't mess with magpies.
[PG] Maximum Spin.
Tyrant Leviathan: Haste.
Dustan Hache: Cat. on the Godmodder's head.
roseheart: Cat. is the Godmodder's beard.
Secheral: Revenant.
Greatness942, Gwolfski: nineteen eleven, colt fourty-five, holding back the vampires, keeping him alive
[PG] Egan_BW: 3.14/3.14 HP. Rational? Dark Wood Grain Ring.
[PG] TrickleJest.
[PG] Hell on Wheels: 275/275 HP. 9 Splash Ammo.
Metallic Men: 5/5 HP. x20.
Hell Guardian:
LITERALLY JUST PULP.Cerberus: 125/200 HP.
Mind Flayer: 125/200 HP.
YT Scion: 125/200 HP.
Grandiose Magpie: 250/250 HP. Literally just a magpie?
The Godmodder: 10/10 HP. Qliphoth Armour: 100/100 HP. Caduceus. Pseudo-accelerated.
Days Left: 28
[31/01/18].
Distance to the Ninth Circle: 8.5%.
River Acheron. [9%]Aliemma: 25/25 HP.
Lemures:
DEAD. x∞.
Capitalist Charon: ? HP.
Author
Topic: Escort the Godmodder! (Read 19343 times)