Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Sl4cker]

Slam scythe into the hell-soil on the ground, splitting it open and creating a hellportal to hell, specifically to the giant skeletal we need to slay.

+1

+1

[5] ((rerolled for this one and got the same result :U))

Invigorated by your fresh success, you raise your scythe high into the air with a ferocious roar. Nearby, the shattered bone shards of Ajax not part of your limbs poof into fine powder. Spinning your scythe like a baton, you slam it into the brimstone making up the ground, slicing apart not just the soil but the fabric of reality itself, letting you drop through space and time to end up back where you began in what is surely a trippy sequence reminiscent of a certain popular british television program. (You're not so fond of that one. Main character keeps reviving.)

Appearing at once back at your office with a dynamic entry, the sound of your rage making the spines of all around you shiver, regardless of the actual status of their vertebrae. Around you, you see the same boring-ass hellscape as usual, but what is undoubtedly the giant skeleton-amalgamate, currently crunching up a red-chitin-covered pair of demonic legs. More demons seem to be surrounding it in a circle, and judging by the giant's scorch marks, they seem to be trying to attack it. Judging by the bits of wings and unholy bones surrounding your creation, they're being very ineffective.

The bone giant releases the pair of legs with a spurt of black blood, the demon that you assume used to own them having... "disappeared" from the waist up. The giant rushes at you, and you prepare to end its measly existence with a single swing, when it crashes on the blood-soaked dirt in front of your newly replaced feet. You can tell the action is deliberate - the Giant is prostrating itself before your form.

RIGHT HAND: READY TO SLAY
LEFT HAND: NOT AS READY TO SLAY
COCCYX: VESTIGAL

[Egan_BW]

Place a boney hand on the main skull of our creation, and with a burst of power upload some new directives.

1: Don't kill living humans.
2: Prefer killing dead humans to killing other things, but killing other things is still allowed.
3: Absorb any spare skeletons you find to become more powerful and efficient.
4: If any living humans see you, just tell them that you're fixing the whole "too many dead folks" problem they made, and will be moving along just as soon as we're caught up.
5: No betraying your skelelord Death.

[Glass]

Place a boney hand on the main skull of our creation, and with a burst of power upload some new directives.

1: No betraying your skelelord Death.
2: Don't kill living humans.
3: Prefer killing dead humans to killing other things, but killing other things is still allowed.
4: Absorb any spare skeletons you find to become more powerful and efficient.
5: If any living humans see you, just tell them that you're fixing the whole "too many dead folks" problem they made, and will be moving along just as soon as we're caught up.

FTFY. Let's make sure that not betraying us is higher-importance than other stuff...

[Madman198237]

Place a boney hand on the main skull of our creation, and with a burst of power upload some new directives.

1: No betraying your skelelord Death.
2: Don't kill living humans.
3: Prefer killing dead humans to killing other things, but killing other things is still allowed.
4: Absorb any spare skeletons you find to become more powerful and efficient.
5: If any living humans see you, just tell them that you're fixing the whole "too many dead folks" problem they made, and will be moving along just as soon as we're caught up.

FTFY. Let's make sure that not betraying us is higher-importance than other stuff...

+1 to fixed order

[Sl4cker]

Place a boney hand on the main skull of our creation, and with a burst of power upload some new directives.

1: No betraying your skelelord Death.
2: Don't kill living humans.
3: Prefer killing dead humans to killing other things, but killing other things is still allowed.
4: Absorb any spare skeletons you find to become more powerful and efficient.
5: If any living humans see you, just tell them that you're fixing the whole "too many dead folks" problem they made, and will be moving along just as soon as we're caught up.

FTFY. Let's make sure that not betraying us is higher-importance than other stuff...

+1 to fixed order

[5] ((next turn i'm gonna use real dice :U))

You place your boney left hand on the thing's skull. One of it's skulls. A skull that is part of the conglomerate macro-skull. You touch the skeleton and telepathically give it grim commands, befitting its nature. With every skeletal finger, you input more directions and rules into its death-infused mind, animal-like in nature, yet, for a being such as yourself, manipulable. It seems to nod at each command, except for the last one, where it sits up, confused, pointing to its upper ribcage. Ah, for both the dead and the abomination, they lack a throat with which to communicate. You are able to because you are A MAGICAL SKELTAL but your creation does not seem to have such a luxury. With a wave of your hand you make it so.

The Giant (you could probably name it by now) blinks once and then twice with its many eyes, staring at you. DADDY, it says, obviously referring to you. "Aww," intones the demons. The giant glares at them, though for now, it doesn't seem to be utilizing the explicit command of "killing other things are allowed". It turns back towards you, seemingly awaiting orders.

YOU: DEATH, MASTER OF BONERS
GIANT: LIKE A PARTICULARLY SPOOKY PUPPY; MAY WANT A NAME
DEMONS: YOU SUSPECT MANY ARE DEAD, BUT WHO THE HELL GIVES A SHIT? SATAN?

[NJW2000]

Release the Leviathan! That should keep things in check for a bit, with it stomping out the should-be dead.

Clearly, the problem is too big to actually deal with ourselves through hard work and long office hours. Time to call up our Hell's Angels buddy pestilence, see if he has any ideas for a ghost-plague.

[King Zultan]

Release the Leviathan! That should keep things in check for a bit, with it stomping out the should-be dead.

Clearly, the problem is too big to actually deal with ourselves through hard work and long office hours. Time to call up our Hell's Angels buddy pestilence, see if he has any ideas for a ghost-plague.

+1

[Doomblade187]

Hire an intern from a small Midwest liberal arts college to help with the paperwork. Maybe 2.

[scourge728]

ptw

[Sl4cker]

Release the Leviathan! That should keep things in check for a bit, with it stomping out the should-be dead.

Clearly, the problem is too big to actually deal with ourselves through hard work and long office hours. Time to call up our Hell's Angels buddy pestilence, see if he has any ideas for a ghost-plague.

+1

[1]
You prepare to unleash another portal to Hell, spinning your scythe once again as the rather incompetent demons around you watch warily. You slice up the underworld's soil beneath the "Leviathan", and it falls through - it falls through about one inch lower, that is. The giant looks at you, confused. You stare at your own scythe in frustration before trying to cut up the soil again. And again. You initiate a vengeful series of slicing and dicing against the red dirt, which, while cathartic, accomplish nothing except accidentally shaving off your Giant's legs from the tibia down. The remainder of its legs now stands, wavering, on a newly created slight divot in the soil. It looks at you with pure confusion. Looks like Hell doesn't appreciate the hell portals in Hell so you can have a Hell in your Hell anymore.

The demons snicker. You boomerang your scythe at one and decapitate it instantly, your tool boomeranging back to your hand with a sharp slap. The remaining demons flee as you place a thoughtful finger on your jaw with a sigh. Now you need to get the Giant to earth WITHOUT magic portals.

SCYTHE STATUS: KILLING GOOD
HELL STATUS: DOESN'T LIKE YOU FORCING YOUR BONES THROUGH ITS HOLES YOU GUESS
GIANT STATUS: TIBIA EXPECTED

[King Zultan]

We should fix the giant's leg.

[Egan_BW]

Put the giant back together, and take this as an opportunity to teach it how to repair itself. In case the humans try to blow it up or something.

[SamSpeeds]

Put the giant back together, and take this as an opportunity to teach it how to repair itself. In case the humans try to blow it up or something.

+1

[Dustan Hache]

The giant isn't damaged. We can't fix it if it isn't broken.

[Madman198237]

...

It's missing its legs.

That's pretty 'broken' if you ask me.