Charles.I'm just tired of this.Of what?You fix one problem, and another takes its place before you can even think about relaxing. You know, I'm sinking into this otherworldly nightmare, probably fighting for my life here...But it just feels like work. The same old shit. Someone was too stupid to fix an easy problem on their own, so they let it fester until it became a BIG problem. Then it's my job to clean up all the messes. People treat me like I have magic powers or something, but most of the time I don't feel like I understand computers at all!...Oh. Well, I don't know if I understand the feeling.You wouldn't. You actually DO have magic powers. Or... you are the magic powers, I guess??...*sigh* Okay. Let's take inventory.Hm. Let's get some context for this ontological puzzle.
Try to remember something that happened yesterday.
First of all, the situation. You appear to have been disconnected from your former reality, along with the rest of the room's contents. Thankfully, this also appears to have closed the spatial rip inside of your computer tower, so neither the difficult-to-pronounce
Horror from HR nor his
employee can "contact" you. For now. As for your memories of yesterday, you're pretty sure you're not in some kind of timeless purgatory. Or at least, you haven't been in one for more than an hour or so.
Second, useful tools. Since you appear to be trapped in a place beyond space and time, you should probably take stock of what you managed to smuggle into this room before it became disconnected from the time stream.
You brought a laptop in here. It wouldn't be particularly important to you right now, EXCEPT Necronomicon.pdf (that is,
Norman) is currently stored on it.
You still have some left over chicken from before, and you also brought a case of
Ruby Red Squirt in here with you. It was formerly under your desk.
...You could really use some caffeine right now.
Okay! I don't know anything about how files like "CoolCursors.RPM" should work, but check it for actually usable files. If it's just a stupid animating ad, don't click its link. Close and delete. And I mean shift-delete that thing.
SHIFT-DELETED. You were really hoping this thing would have something useful in it, but it seems to contain nothing but malware. And it came in a pretty-looking treasure chest and everything! That's trojans for you.
Is there adequate space to lie down in this room? Also check if it's easy/possible/safe to turn off the monitor.
You would
really like to, but you have no way to be sure that something awful won't happen while you're asleep. Unfortunately, you're the only one with access to the white cursor, the only one who can defend against that green cursor.
Can we get off-campus access to the Great Race Online Library (GROL)? They did finish digitizing, right?
Despite our apparent exile into an otherworldly abyss, trapped in a squalid office (without plumbing!), with a computer literally possessed of evil, in the prior episode we were able to access the internet using the smartphone.
See if we still can. We might be able to enlist assistance from other tech monkeys.
Yeah, no. Your Internet Connection
probably went out around the same time your Reality Connection did. Your phone and laptop are unable to connect now. At least you have the Hieronet, right...?
View help on the Stone.
I agree with viewing help on the stone.
Yeah, that would be the next logical step. This thing can probably do way more than you think.
So. The virus contained in CoolCurses.RPM seems to have changed the desktop background, and that's always 100% a good sign. BUT we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Let's open up the help file.
Huh. It's a normal .pdf file. Looks a little less... whimsical than you were expecting.
It does seem to be an instruction manual, focused on the usage of the Administrator's Stone. And it is SUPER dense. Three columns per page, and about 800 pages, minus the appendices. This is the kind of document that ctrl+f was made for.
ctrl+f "Expel To"Got it! You found an explanation of the right-click menu.
I might know what you mean.Hmm?My former owners. The occult rituals I compelled them to perform. It frustrated them, sometimes. There were a lot of moving parts. Ingredients, intonations, hand signs... they often became very frustrated.Maybe magic isn't so different from IT.According to this document, maybe not. You called it a... "PDF"?Yes, I did.It's a bit like pages in a book?Yes, like you.This is it, then. The store of knowledge inside the Administrator's Stone, it's in this PDF. Do you have a way of, say, appending it to me?I think I might be able to do that.
Unneeded documents are now being deleted.
From: Michael Kisielewicz
Date: Friday, April 9, 1999 4:22 PM
To: Qalzsx'wa The Engorged
Subject: Project Status
Hail Qalzsx'wa,
Just shootin' ya an electronic mail, wondering how the whole Y2K project's coming along on your end. It's been a little difficult getting these messages across without the Hieronet router set up, so I was wondering if you heard back from the support team at Hells-Deathwell. See, we have to sacrifice a goat in the conference room every time we send one of these emails without a persistent Outer Realm connection, and the whole logistical side of shipping live animals to the office is getting a little tough to manage. So if you could get in touch with them that would be greeaat.
Thanks a bunch,
Michael
From: Sam Long
Date: Thursday, October 2, 1997 10:23 AM
To: Qalzsx'wa The Engorged
Subject: Forbidden Keys?
Hey Qalz,
This is Sam from IT, over here at Baldr. We have been, uh...
installing some of the software you provided us with, and we
would like to request a couple of user's manuals, if you have
any idea what those are. This software is a little more "high
stakes" than what we're used to, if you know what I mean. While
you're at it, could we have some explanation of the "FORBIDDEN
KEYPAD" on the underside of these keyboards you sent? I don't
know what any of these symbols mean, and it looks dangerous.
That's all,
Sam
Hey there, just a couple of notes before you dig in to the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis.
First, certain parts of the .pdf file seem to shift around at random. This is normal,
and there isn't anything I can do about it. Sorry.
Second, most of the pages in this book WILL cause you to go insane if you look at
them long enough. I do NOT recommend looking at pages unless you know they
are safe. I don't know of many pages that are safe to look at, but you can start with
pages 33, 98, and 422.
Finally, some of the pages in here seem to refer to Hieronet URLs. If you see the
Hieronet icon in the corner, that's what it is. Have fun!
-Steve
aura.exe detects your desktop background image's aura, and features an easy-to-read GUI!
import eldertongue : summon, banish;
void main() {
Daemon linniks = summon("abberation/tux");
linniks.initHunger();
Entity[] entities = getLocalEntities();
foreach(ent : entities) {
linniks.provokeMadness(ent);
}
linniks.addDirective("gather", "sigils");
linniks.addDirectives("consume", "system32");
return 0;
}
Welcome to Outworld Package Manager (OPM)! With this artifact, you can download
packages for ElderScript programming language. Just give the BEAST OF SEEKING
your request, and it will seek out the package you desire!
Sigil Tablet
Scryglass of X'tpylix
Aura Monitor
Hieronet Explorer
Deep One Translator
Floppy disk (XYZZY)
Floppy disk (backup)
Red dry erase marker
Win98 Phone
Floppy USB adapter
Selfie Stick
Laptop
Ruby Red Squirt (11 cans)
Bucket of Chicken
Author
Topic: Tech Support [ACT 2] [ᚦᛖ᛫ᚷᛟᛚᛞᛖᚾ᛫ᛒᚱᛖᛞ᛫ᛁᛉ᛫ᛖᛏᛖᚱᚾᚨᛚ] (Read 53649 times)