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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 788097 times)

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4320 on: December 03, 2017, 02:47:37 pm »

A Cannon are more precious than gold. (Gotta get stocks up for the big deadline.)
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4321 on: December 03, 2017, 03:06:28 pm »

A
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4322 on: December 03, 2017, 03:11:27 pm »

A.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4323 on: December 03, 2017, 04:44:41 pm »

You reject the deal and the envoys leave unhappy.

1125 AD, Mid-Autumn

Lamentation and cries of the peoples of Cydwyl reach the ears of your courtiers all the time these days. The iron lady, Queen Dogethe of Cydwyl, has died in her sleep, after reaching venerable age of seventy. Her armies were almost always triumphant and her peoples were almost always proud and happy of her rule. The throne of Cydwyl has passed to eldest of her currently living sons, Talon, a man of superb administrative skills and absolute lack of charisma.

A) Such a tragedy, we ought to send a delegation of mourners right away!
B) A letter of condolences for King Talon is in order.
C) This is terrible news! I ought to visit capital of Cydwyl with my family and courtiers!
« Last Edit: December 03, 2017, 04:46:24 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Twinwolf

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4324 on: December 03, 2017, 04:47:03 pm »

C. We were friends, and it's in our best interest to greet our new neighbor.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4325 on: December 03, 2017, 04:47:59 pm »

C

Let's be pals with the new king. If previous luck holds then this one's likely to be an asshole bar none, but maybe just this once things will be different.
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4326 on: December 03, 2017, 04:48:54 pm »

B Pft yeah 'Friends". Because friends back stab each other for money. Here's hoping that her Son has more honor than she did.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2017, 04:57:45 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

milo christiansen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4327 on: December 03, 2017, 04:50:46 pm »

C a great ruler, and (asside from that one time with the dwarves) a great ally.
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Twinwolf

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4328 on: December 03, 2017, 04:54:15 pm »

B Pft yeah 'Friends". Because friends back stab each other for money. Here's hoping that her Son has more honor than she did.
Yes, because she did help in that war (her help was why we didn't lose 100% despite you guys insisting on turning a one front war we were winning into a three front war we were losing) and one time not throwing her troops at to their deaths in a war that had clearly already been lost does not magically erase decades of being allies  :P
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Of course, Twin is neither man nor woman but an unholy eldritch abomination like every other Bay12er. The difference is they hide it better.
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4329 on: December 03, 2017, 04:55:32 pm »

C
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4330 on: December 03, 2017, 04:58:55 pm »

C You know what sure. I'll vote to give her son a chance. Though I never really got why you guys liked Dogethe so much. I've never really trusted nor liked her but eh. To each their own I guess.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4331 on: December 03, 2017, 05:15:59 pm »

C

C You know what sure. I'll vote to give her son a chance. Though I never really got why you guys liked Dogethe so much. I've never really trusted nor liked her but eh. To each their own I guess.

Up until she betrayed us to the dwarfs (over which she felt bad about and offered reparations for) she was always good to her word.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4332 on: December 03, 2017, 05:17:35 pm »

You decide to send a messenger to King Talon to inform him that you will visit his palace to attend the funeral feast, taking your courtiers and family with you.

One week later

You got just in time for the first day of funeral rites.

As the time flies and Queen Dogethe's reign is remembered and praised, you manage to have few discussions with King Talon, a balding man in his mid-thirties. Just as described, he has a dry wit and seems to have no love for pleasantries, etiquette and long talk. All you got out of him was that he hopes that Methiant will be 'a proper and amicable neighbour'. You weren't able to even interest him in any sort of deal or treaty.

Your courtiers had much more luck with the nobles of King Talon's court.

You learn that the current heir of Talon is a twelve years old boy named Cidric. A rash youth with big heart, great skill with weapons and, unfortunately, not very bright mind. Some rumors go around that not every of his uncles and cousins views him as a proper successor to the throne, even.

Also, you learn that not everything is well in Cydwyl, as northern peoples rather frequently in the past decade has been rising up with riots and rebellions, almost year by year tying up resources and men that Queen Dogethe wished to allocate elsewhere. One can easily assume her death will only fuel the northerners' rebellious spirit.

Also also, you learn that recently the eastern colonies and settlements has been once again in trouble with the Agaresians. While nothing major happened so far, some travelers and homesteads were harassed by Agaresian lizard riders.

A week later, you, your courtiers and family depart for home.

1125 AD, Winter

Quote
1to5

Alas, this year the metal mines have brought less profits than previously. The market must be satured or something.

Silver and gemstones arrive to stuff your Treasury though, pleasing the Treasurer.

1125 AD, Midwinter

The economical prosperity of Methiant in recent years has spurred traders from near and far to cross their country on their way to Eldrican, Cydwyl, Kashite and Lametania, the stability in the country and safety on the roads surely contributing to that.

1125 AD, End of the Year

The Advisor seems particularily happy when he walks into your study with Scrolls of Kingdom Status, and you soon learn why:

Happiness: 6
Population: 8
Economy: 7
Army: 7

Your wife, seated besides you, sighs from excitement.

"My liege, while our country grows, the officers and the Marshal concluded that we ought to take advantage of our booming economy and expand the budget of the Army. While it is well maintained, it only allows for mediocre amount of soldiers. Greater spending would allow for more men, horses and garrisons to be kept around the sundial."

A) "Agree, let's expand the military budget, for the glory of Methiant!"
B) "Just because we're rich now doesn't mean we will be rich tomorrow."
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

milo christiansen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4333 on: December 03, 2017, 05:19:22 pm »

A time to get ready for round 2
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After all, coke is for furnaces, not for snorting.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4334 on: December 03, 2017, 05:20:17 pm »

A

Just to dissuade the neighbors from trying anything, you understand.
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