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Author Topic: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched  (Read 36858 times)

DolosusDoleus

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #540 on: June 20, 2017, 11:57:00 am »

B
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
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birdy51

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #541 on: June 20, 2017, 12:20:15 pm »

B

Best just write a letter though.
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #542 on: June 20, 2017, 03:27:18 pm »

B These rocks could be nice dagger/siege material.

Or poison stuff, let's fill our enemies houses with mimics, put trap with sentient metals in our door and thrown walking murderous steel balls with our tribuchets
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Draignean

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #543 on: June 20, 2017, 03:31:57 pm »

B

Mine that Tenebrium.
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I have a degree in Computer Seance, that means I'm officially qualified to tell you that the problem with your system is that it's possessed by Satan.
---
Q: "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
A: "No, not particularly."

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #544 on: June 20, 2017, 04:19:22 pm »

You get Assante in here and relay to him the information. He looks thoughtful at the news - didn't he tell you the rocks would be quite famished? Come to think of it, didn't he tell the prospector team the same thing? Because the rocks really ought to be quite famished right now - can hardly blame them, you know, what with them being on the cusp of awakening.

Oh, he chuckles, wait! He understands! He was just remembering telling you now! That's what tripped him up! How terribly silly of him indeed, oh yes. Will have to make sure to mention that in his pitch to the Queen, yes, it's really quite a sensitive matter that he hopes she'll see the light in regards to, they could be such wonderful allies if you were to, say, work out a kind of contract with them, feed them something, placate their savage and unseemly desires if you will, and ohoho, rest assured that they have plenty!

But look at him go on, Assante laughs, he won't bother you with this again, he can see that look in your eyes, oh yes, there it is! That's the look you gave him when you sent him to see the gnomes! He'll leave you to it then, yes? Plenty of bits to see to as mother-to-be, isn't that right?

Quote
4

He walks away in good cheer, and you hear a little later about another, altogether better-armed prospecting effort being put together by the crown. They leave to do their strange, dark work, leaving you here in expectation.

258 S.I., Fall

IT IS TIME

it is time

It is time to see our work come to fruition!

You awaken in the middle of the night to the sound of your insides moving against your will. Oh goodness. Oh dear. Oh my.

DON'T STRUGGLE let your demonic godparents take care of things for you We're really quite good at this, you know! OBSERVE

A sudden state of tranquility comes over you as demonic power numbs sensation from your spine outward, leaving you mutating and changing and oddly quite cheerful about the prospect, watching detachedly as a terrible creature of some kind begins to emerge from your kidney area.

REALLY IT ACTUALLY IS YOUR KIDNEY fundamentally speaking With some choice additions, of course. it'd be poor form to just have an ambulatory kidney knocking about

You feel like clapping when your abdominal cavity starts to open up and something ineffable begins to scrabble its way out. You're excited! It's someone's birthday, you think through a savage endorphin haze!

sadly the process is quite impossible to survive IN THE CLASSICAL SENSE We've thought about that, and have made arrangements!

Your heart stops beating as your lovely son makes a blind journey out of you, guided by demonic voices and terrible forces that change him before your very eyes. He's so lovely, you feel like reaching out to kiss him on his lovely forehead (just like his father's!). Bit difficult to move though, considering how numb you are.

You'll be immortal! with caveats NOTHING YOU'RE NOT USED TO AT THIS POINT or so we'd assume You've been a good sport about an awful lot of things! YOU MAY STILL HUNGER FOR HUMAN FLESH but that probably went without saying didn't it

Your son is awfully fast on his four... limbs, you'd hesitate to call them arms or legs exactly. He experiments with the exact number before settling on the traditional four. You've stopped breathing. This is the most alive you've felt in years. Your son blindly reaches out for the collection of arteries and loose tissue still tying him to you.

IT'S BEEN A LOT OF FUN and we've come very far But sadly now we must part for our next project! we'll luckily be within short distance SO IF YOU NEED US, JUST PAT YOUR GOOD BOY AND COO We might be busy, however! seeking a more perfect union if you will It shall become our masterpiece! inimitable UNCONQUERABLE

so all that is left is thanks AND FAREWELL Best of luck, immortal spymistress!

Your son bites down on the cord and your blood becomes terribly still, and your mind strangely vacant, a background buzz suddenly lifted and the addled haze slowly retreating as you sit up in bed, which has remained shockingly clean through all this. Your son sits at the foot of the bed, regarding you with dreadfully intelligent eyes and mild condescension as you sit up.

You feel very different. Almost definitely dead, but still moving and thinking. There's a freedom to your movements now, no longer bound by such things as exhaustion or organic limitations for your own safety. And oh dear, they weren't kidding about the hunger.

But first things first - where will you put your beautiful new boy?

A) Keep him around, you feel like it'd be a mite unsafe leaving him with anybody else.
B) He seems like fairly good changeling material. Don't you, boy? Yes you do!
C) Put him up at the Lunar Temple, they've got a foundling bin for exactly this purpose.
D) Pitch the possibility of having a demonchild as royal heir to the Queen.
E) Convince the Queen to accept this lovely and completely innocuous foundling as her own.
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Draignean

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #545 on: June 20, 2017, 04:23:30 pm »

E

This is the queen who wanted a Kid without all the mess, right?
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I have a degree in Computer Seance, that means I'm officially qualified to tell you that the problem with your system is that it's possessed by Satan.
---
Q: "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
A: "No, not particularly."

omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #546 on: June 20, 2017, 04:34:34 pm »

It's hEr problem now
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Glass

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #547 on: June 20, 2017, 04:38:37 pm »

Oh, grand, we're a zombie now. Of course.

GivE it to the queen.
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Glass is, as usual, correct.
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I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

birdy51

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #548 on: June 20, 2017, 04:50:01 pm »

E

Those silly nobles won't even tell the difference!
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BIRDS.

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heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #549 on: June 20, 2017, 05:00:21 pm »

E

Damn... never make a deal with the devil guys. It will only just screw you over.
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chubby2man

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #550 on: June 20, 2017, 05:41:59 pm »

E
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Sindari Immortals Play as an immortal being trying to subvert an evil empire of (for now) stronger immortals. On *very* long term hiatus.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #551 on: June 20, 2017, 06:03:41 pm »

E

Damn... never make a deal with the devil guys. It will only just screw you over.

We seem to be doing fine.

D

Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #552 on: June 20, 2017, 06:28:22 pm »

E I think we got quite a lot out of it. In fact what I've learned from this is that we need to get even more demons in us. I'll really miss our super cool Demon friends and new demons won't be the same but I suppose new demons are better than no demons. At least in my mind that is.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Iituem

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #553 on: June 21, 2017, 11:33:01 am »

Fun with succEssion!
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10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #554 on: June 21, 2017, 11:46:50 am »

So, did our demons remember to close up, or are we going to walking around with a massive hole in our torso?
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