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Author Topic: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched  (Read 36440 times)

birdy51

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #525 on: June 19, 2017, 08:24:15 pm »

A. First, we need to convince our queen to go send a demon into the mines. What could go wrong?
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #526 on: June 19, 2017, 08:54:22 pm »

A
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #527 on: June 19, 2017, 10:48:36 pm »

A
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #528 on: June 20, 2017, 07:56:20 am »

I'd like to reject all options; I think we found our customary quest.

Reasonable idea after thinking on it a moment, I'll make that Option D.
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heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #529 on: June 20, 2017, 09:07:19 am »

D
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

Iituem

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #530 on: June 20, 2017, 09:18:47 am »

D, sounds like a mission!
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

DolosusDoleus

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #531 on: June 20, 2017, 09:36:43 am »

D
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
Ongoing Forum Thingamajiggers:
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Glass

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #532 on: June 20, 2017, 09:42:21 am »

D.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #533 on: June 20, 2017, 10:08:37 am »

D
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
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He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Draignean

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #534 on: June 20, 2017, 10:18:47 am »

D
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I have a degree in Computer Seance, that means I'm officially qualified to tell you that the problem with your system is that it's possessed by Satan.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #535 on: June 20, 2017, 10:49:03 am »

You pat Assante on the shoulder as you get up - no worries, and no need to bother the Queen about anything. You'll have your man on the job, someone whose capabilities you happen to have a great deal of faith in. You'll have these Utterdark Caves surveyed in no time at all, you say and give the raven a very pointed look. It nods and flies away thoughtfully, evidently having got the message.

You don't really get word about Jules leaving town, but then you also didn't hear about him arriving. He'll either get this sorted or get lost, you suppose, so it ought to work out either way.

258 S.I., Summer's End

The due date draws closer, you feel, and you have trouble walking now that your gait is destabilized and a large part of your bodily functions appear to have been suborned by the gestating horror in your abdomen. You've had to make some rather elaborate excuses to not visit the Queen as of late, but fortunately she appears to understand and you've instead taken to exchanging letters filled with pleasantries and innocuous gossip. She seems to have taken to spending more time with Princess Annika despite advice from her courtiers to be careful about courting Vesperlund intelligence, and they've apparently been getting on even better than usual.

You do somewhat miss being able to show yourself in public, but what are you gonna do when demons get involved?

Quote
3

Later that day a squirrel sits on your windowsill and looks at you quizzically for a moment. Did you know, it says, that the rumors about the Utterdark Caves are actually entirely accurate?

You're rather more interested in the ore down there, you have to be honest.

Couldn't really vouch for the ore's quality, the squirrel says, but he couldn't help but observe certain faults in its demeanor. Primarily the bits where it wants to eat you.

The ore wants to eat him, you say, and the squirrel only nods. He didn't have the opportunity to investigate more before his agents were, well, disappeared into the depths. It quite hurts, being eaten by sentient rocks. Very stressful.

Is that all, you say a bit skeptically.

Yes, he responds, pretty much. He's not a mineralogist, you know, or a geologist. The hell do you expect him to know about prospecting?

He's got a bloody demon of wisdom in him, you retort, you'd expect at least something!

Well, he says, that's about all he managed to divine from the caves. There's rocks there and they seem to really like the taste of various kinds of flesh. Nothing else lives there. Locals are deathly afraid of the place, won't go near - they do apparently bring sacrifices though. No trace of the previous team that got sent in there. Other than that, can't say the trip was very informative.

A) Gonna need to do better than that, Jules. Go back and try again!
B) Tell Assante what you've managed to discover and leave him to it.
C) Send a letter to the Queen inquiring about a renewed, well-armed expedition in light of these meager discoveries.
D) Organize a better-funded expedition to see if there's not some way to placate these murderous rocks.
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heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #536 on: June 20, 2017, 10:52:23 am »

B

Not lieutenant material so far, but at least it's something.
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #537 on: June 20, 2017, 10:55:15 am »

B
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #538 on: June 20, 2017, 11:27:36 am »

B Well I mean perhaps not the best of work but considering that he indeed has no training for such a mission and that he came back alive where everyone else hasn't I think he's done pretty decent.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #539 on: June 20, 2017, 11:38:06 am »

C

Best to seem like it is coming from us, maybe we can get some funding to hire some mineralogist mages or rock demons or dwarves to have a better go at it.  Also we get the credit we deserve rather then gnomehead.
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