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Thank you for playing Minimalism and Milk!

Milk
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Total Members Voted: 36


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Author Topic: Minimalism and Milk  (Read 236263 times)

Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 21)
« Reply #390 on: May 22, 2017, 10:46:10 am »

FIX THE WORLD!  THESE SHENANIGANS MUST NOT GO UNPUNISHED!

But I thought your character is an evil genius who wants to take over the world? So I guess you'll fix the world first, and then you'll conquer the world.


P.S Also, since I mentioned "take over the world", here's the obligatory Nostalgia Critic gag.
There kinda needs to be a world in order to take it over.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Enemy post

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 21)
« Reply #391 on: May 22, 2017, 11:49:25 am »

EDIT: Has everyone forgotten that about one third of the world population was turned into cats?!?

It wasn't that many, it was only about 2.7 million.(Second action)
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Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 21)
« Reply #392 on: May 22, 2017, 11:58:49 am »

EDIT: Has everyone forgotten that about one third of the world population was turned into cats?!?

It wasn't that many, it was only about 2.7 million.(Second action)
*Processing, Processing*
...that is an m, not a b. Whoops.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

OceanSoul

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 21)
« Reply #393 on: May 22, 2017, 01:52:57 pm »

Cast a ritual to turn some normal milk into giraffe milk. Afterward, prepare a ritual to curse all baked goods currently on earth to turn people into cows under my control.
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Work on a potential forum game for my return to Bay12. Figure out parts that puzzled me before. Find more things to figure out that I can't. Work on another game instead of solving them. Get distracted and stop working. Remember it a week or two later. Remember I'm still on hiatus. Illogically, Be too ashamed to return yet. Repeat ad nauseam.

Finally have a game completely ready. Wait a week before posting it out of laziness.

Neoexdeath

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 10)
« Reply #394 on: May 22, 2017, 02:13:25 pm »

(Sorry for posting so late)

Harbinger, accompanied by his troops, begins looking around for any traces of milk. If he is unsuccessful, then he indoctrinates a nearby human then makes him/her lead the way to the nearest place where milk can be found.

1,4vs2

You get a bit lost and wander around for a while. Then you tire of searching and easily break the will of a local human. He leads you to the store.
Harbringer signals his troops to guard the perimeter before entering into the store along with the indoctrinated human. He then commands him to distract the other humans while He grabs the milk.
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Smoke Mirrors

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 21)
« Reply #395 on: May 22, 2017, 03:10:03 pm »

Should anything wicked this way come and a lovecract beastie get to close to the portal, I want to try to get an eye, tooth, tentacle, or whatever the thing has as a trophy.
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Don't worry too much about the one mistake, Smoke Mirrors. Your character was memorable for all the demonology and story writing.

I’m running a game/mechanics test called Fate/Mechanics Test. Feel free to check it out.

Enemy post

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 22)
« Reply #396 on: May 23, 2017, 10:58:36 pm »

TURN 22

Cancel the space laser, but redirect the associated funds to NASA, not the military. We're colonizing Mars, bitches!

The attempt to annex Vermont has given us reasonable cause to nationalize McDonalds.

As for the glorious nation of Giraffia, send representatives to join the UN.

1+1,2+1,1

Congress overrules you. The money goes back into the military. McDonalds reminds you that the restaurant currently attacking Vermont is out of their control. They do give a sizable donation to your efforts to fight the cows as a show of good faith.

Giraffia's request to join the UN is also soundly rejected.

NOOO GM POST SO SOON, I NOT DECIDE ON ACTION IN TIME
GRAB MY UKULELE AND AMP, MAKE GRAND ENTRANCE OUTSIDE THAT VENUE, THEN LEAD MY FANS, LIKE PIED PIPER OF BLACKENED UKULELE METAL, TO THE ZOO... USE MY EARLIER-GAINED KNOWLEDGE OF ITS LAYOUT TO SET UP ON THE BANDSTAND (HOPEFULLY ZOO HAS ONE OF THOSE) AND HIJACK THEIR SOUND SYSTEM FOR THIS IMPROMPTU CONCERT, HOPEFULLY WHILE ZOO STAFF OFF-DUTY/TOO DISTRACTED BY GIRAFFE BEHAVIOUR

IF NO BANDSTAND, SET UP NEAR/IN PANDA ENCLOSURE, BECAUSE PANDAS ARE BLACK METAL AS FUCK

OH AND IF I HAVE TIME ASSIGN A FAN OR TWO WITH TASK OF MAKING AND DISTRIBUTING FLIERS FOR UNPLANNED, LAST-MINUTE ZOO SHOW WHILE I SETTING UP. MAYBE GET BIGGER CROWD, FILL WHOLE ZOO. WAIT, WHAT TIME IS IT ANYWAY? HOW CROWDED IS ZOO? WHO CARES, NOBODY STOPPING US NOW


2(+1 for fanatical fanbase), 1

You meet your fans, and lead them to the zoo. They get the bandstand set up by the panda exhibit while the zookeepers are off looking for the missing giraffes. The few who are still here are simply bribed. The fan in charge of the flyers isn't able to bring in anyone and a few of the casuals wander off while waiting. Ultimately, the stage is set. You stand in front on the crowd, blackened ukulele in hand.

Add Girafe Hot Dogs to the menu and slaughter the giraffe commanders via assassination
Like Hell you do that.
EDIT2: I'm pretty sure that there's another conspiracy that needs to be added (other than the reptilians and the giraffes): the Jews, who control the world economy, as well as some of the wealthier world powers, such as Japan, the BeNeLux group, and Israel.

EDIT3 (the important one): I, the Giraffe Overmind, reach out to the minds of your cow army and remind them that it was I that made them what they are today, and they should thus be loyal to me. (No, seriously, it was me possessing the hamburgers while I was still the Shadow that made them the Hell Bovine. See the fifth action.)
(I don't want to do the Jewish conspiracy thing.)

5(-1 for defectors)vs4
3

Fatio sends his cowsassins after the giraffe commanders. The Overmind detects this and reaches out to the cows to remind them of their origins. Some of the old loyalists return to serving the Overmind. Elsewhere, the assassinations are crippled by defections. Some of the giraffe commanders are successfully slain, while in other cases the assassins are captured or defect.

"I have no idea what's going on here."
Have my basic shotgun-toting minions to fan out in front of Ithadtam and I while ordering my horsemen to harass the enemy with hit-and-run tactics. Ask Ith to protect me with his shield while I attempt to summon some allies from another realm, hopefully one with swords and stuff
1vs2,3
"Dark Mechanicus, I need you to hack NATO satellite and corrupt their communications. Let's see how they fight without their eyes and their very ears trying to drive them crazy..." And Eliphas put his vox-caster back into his ass. Then Eliphas and his Terminators aim at the Ithadtam's abdomen.

Give out the order to Dark Mechanicus*, then shoot Ithadtam in the abdomen.

Squad Gamma 1: Enter Land Raider and drive to the local supermarket, then loot it for milk.
Squad Epsilon 3: Help Eliphas the Inheritor by shooting at Ithadtam from the rocket launchers. Nurglite Sorcerer will unleash disease blob barrage at shotgun minions instead.
Squad Epsilon 4: Keep barraging at the cowardly National Guard.
Land Raiders (Main army): Take mongol riders' harassment on ourselves, then use Havoc Missile Launcher on them.
Havocs (Main army): Fire at the Men of Iron with our Multi-Meltas.
Chaos Sorcerers (Main army again): Aid Goatsby.
Chaos Marines (You guessed it): throw 'nades at the shotgun minions, then shoot at them and Ithadtam.
Decimator Tank: Roll over the mongol riders, then fire all weapons at Ithadtam's head.


* Chaos will be able to see the planet from the NATO satellite, while corrupted communications will drive NATO troops across the globe insane, or even making them serve the Chaos Undivided.

EDIT: How I forgot about Chaos analogue of Baneblade?

(Chaos vs Rethi's minions)4vs2
(Chaos vs National Guard)3+1vs5-1
(Eliphas vs Ithadtam)5vs1
(Chaos goes to the store)1
(Chaos hacks the satellite)1

"AGHH! WHY, DAMMIT, WHY?! WHY WON'T ANY OF THESE TZEENTCH-DAMNED SPELLS KILL YOU?"

Lift Gulliman with a DISEMBODIED MAGIC HAND and crush him.

2+1vs2
Quote from: Gulliman
Going to keep assuming that playerless characters fight back if attacked.
4vs2

The battle becomes a rout. Chaos swarms over their enemies and breaks apart their strategies. Together, Ithadtam and Gulliman make a valiant charge into Chaos's lines to attempt to break through. They kill a good number of Chaos Marines, but ultimately Ithadtam is slain by a barrage of explosive rounds and Gulliman is grabbed by the divine goat and crushed with the Sorcerer's aid. The anti-Chaos alliance falls back from the ruins of City Hall. After that, things aren't as successful for Chaos. Their hacking efforts fail and alert NATO to improve their security. The Land Raider looking for the store gets lost and drives around in a mall. Rethi summons a squad of Imperial stormtroopers to aid his faction. Elsewhere, Gulliman awakes after his apparition is destroyed.

Search for a cheap apartment if possible close to a store that sells milk.

1

There aren't any apartments that fit that description available in this area. A tourist mistakenly congratulates you and Oichi on your wedding.

I bring him(Lincoln) back with his guards, and wear his hat. I also give him a spare key to the time machine, which has a button to summon it whenever you should need it.

5+1

Lincoln gets a squad of elite Union troops while remarking on the need for some sort of official Presidential protection service. You take him to the present in your time machine. You arrive with him in DC in an angelic chorus accompanied by a flock of doves. The Capitol building stands beneath you.

Give blessing of Milk God on those that decided to take the path of milk.

6

You bless them with your power. They turn into milk creatures.

"Good. Sorry. Was just taken off guard by the success. Anyways. OH MY BLOODY GOODNESS WHAT IS THAT!"

Notices the giant portal.

"Any chance we can just ignore that and get back to work?"

1

You turn to see if anyone is still there, but your colleagues all rushed out of the room as soon as they saw the giant hole in spacetime.

FIX THE WORLD!  THESE SHENANIGANS MUST NOT GO UNPUNISHED!

1

It turns out fixing the world is really hard. All you manage to do is buy out all the affordable apartments in Luxembourg for some reason.

Cast a ritual to turn some normal milk into giraffe milk. Afterward, prepare a ritual to curse all baked goods currently on earth to turn people into cows under my control.

1,3

Your spell malfunctions and reduces that perfect milk in the safe to ash. Your cow ritual begins. It's not ready yet, but you feel the power growing.

Yell, "Free Snack" as loud as I can into the portal and then close it as quickly as possible.
5
Should anything wicked this way come and a lovecract beastie get to close to the portal, I want to try to get an eye, tooth, tentacle, or whatever the thing has as a trophy.
2
Turn eldritch dimension into new DOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG. Unleash DOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG MK II upon the solar system, this time much closer to Earth.
1

Angelo closes the portal while metaphorically ringing the dinner bell for the abominations within. He then closes it. Good timing on the angel's part, for now Diablo takes control.

On the inside, ATHATH tries to bring the DOOOOOOOOM MUUUUUUUUUG back home, but it is smashed apart. Masses of tentacles and eyes come crawling up beneath him and attack. 5vs5 It is a battle for the ages. ATHATH hits the beasts with worldbreaking ghost magic as they attack him from dimensions beyond understanding. In the end, it's a stalemate. While ATHATH breaks open the gooey skull of a creature, the others toss him back out through a tiny slash in reality into his own world.

(Sorry for posting so late)
Harbringer signals his troops to guard the perimeter before entering into the store along with the indoctrinated human. He then commands him to distract the other humans while He grabs the milk.
(No problem, welcome back.)
2

You set your troops on the door and send in your human minion as a distraction. Unfortunately, a human running into the store and doing an impromptu amateur performance of Thriller still isn't as eye-catching as a glowing four-eyed bugman with a gun.
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Enemy post has claimed the title of Dragonsong the Harmonic of Melodious Exaltion!

Rethi-Eli

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 22)
« Reply #397 on: May 23, 2017, 11:15:00 pm »

ITHADTAMMMMM
WHYYYYYYY
This wasn't supposed to happen... I... I just wanted a friend, a companion for when things go awry...

Why did you have to do this?

quickly sign ATHATH's offer, then KILL THEM. KILL THEM ALL. BRING THEM TO THEIR KNEES. SHOW NO MERCY. DO WHATEVER I MUST. DON'T STOP FIGHTING UNTIL EITHER EVERY LAST MINION OF CHAOS IS SLAIN, OR I DIE.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2017, 06:04:30 pm by Rethi-Eli »
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Dark One

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 22)
« Reply #398 on: May 24, 2017, 12:49:05 am »

Send milk creatures to seek more milk and take over the city.

CABL

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 22)
« Reply #399 on: May 24, 2017, 01:30:35 am »

"Word Bearers, rejoice! Gulliman is dead! Keep fighting and we'll capture the city for the Dark Gods!" Screamed Eliphas to his troops. He noticed that the portal is gone, so he orders his Chaos Sorcerers to concentrate on re-summoning the portal, while he and his Terminators charge at the Men of Iron.

Destroy the Men of Iron once and for all, then finally capture the city for Chaos.
Order Goatsby to immobilize Rethi-Eli. If Goatsby fails, attack Rethi-Eli anyway.
Kill Rethi-Eli.


Chaos Havocs with Multi-Meltas (main army): Evaporate Imperial Stormtroopers.
Chaos Marines (main army): Assist Eliphas in destroying the Men of Iron.
Decimator Tank & Nurglite Sorcerer: Corrupt milk creatures, turning them into blight milk creatures. If it fails, Decimator shall roll over them.
Chaos Sorcerers (main army): Re-open the portal.
Squad Gamma 1: Raid the mall for milk. If it doesn't have any milk, drive to the local supermarket again, and loot it for milk.
Squad Epsilon 3: Shoot from the rocket launchers at that Angel/Demon guy.
Squad Epsilon 4: Destroy the police station via artillery barrage.
Chaos Land Raiders (main army): All weapons on Angel/Demon guy.


« Last Edit: May 24, 2017, 05:09:50 am by CrocAndBearLover »
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

Imic

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 22)
« Reply #400 on: May 24, 2017, 03:10:09 am »

I let Lincoln to do whatever he wants to do, informing him of what the button does.
Then I go and try to find some milk.
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Mallos

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 22)
« Reply #401 on: May 24, 2017, 04:53:17 am »

Dismount dire ostrich. Command it to go after Rethi-Eli while attempting to turn Rethi-Eli's muscles and joints into goo incapable of supporting his movements.
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Gone. Departed. Headed off toward greener pastures.

Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 22)
« Reply #402 on: May 24, 2017, 05:57:20 am »

...fine.

Give the Giraffia UN representatives US backing and try again.
Remove the hell bovine threat.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Smoke Mirrors

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 22)
« Reply #403 on: May 24, 2017, 06:44:27 am »

FINALLY, FREEDOM!

Summon darkness in the shape of a cone and throw it down towards earth, aiming for something important. Then fly down to earth ready to beat the !$%# out of those *&%^%ing Chaos people
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Don't worry too much about the one mistake, Smoke Mirrors. Your character was memorable for all the demonology and story writing.

I’m running a game/mechanics test called Fate/Mechanics Test. Feel free to check it out.

Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk (Turn 22)
« Reply #404 on: May 24, 2017, 06:47:27 am »

aiming for something important
Notthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehousenotthewhitehouse...
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.
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