Forces of Chaos:Invading.
The Milk Monster:Crippled and trapped.
Store employees:Suspicious.
Ithadtam:Ghost of a giant knight.
Rethi's minions:A stormtrooper, some Mongol riders, and generic thugs.
Angry cows:
Also known as Hell Bovines. Rebelling against the US.
Cow defectors:Returned to the service of their Overmind.
All giraffes in the world:Possessed by what was the Shadow. Formed the nation of Giraffia and took over the US government.
Oichi:Miyadaiku.
Mal's army:Serving Mal Tinkke. Consists of 2.7 million cats and 10 million cows.
Catacomb golem:Dead.
Men of Iron:Fallen.
Reptilians:They were at the highest levels of most governments. Exposed by Giraffe Snake.
Abraham Lincoln:Time traveling.
John Wilkes Booth:Arrested.
GDI:Battling terrorism and the Brotherhood of Nod worldwide.
Cake Titan:It lives.
Norton Antivirus subcontractors:Going to End of the World party.
National Guard:Routed.
A guy named Spacelaser:Claims he invented ukulele metal. Wounded by vampire bats. Now allied with Milkdrinker.
Followers of Milk:Might be a cult. Turned into milk creatures.
Vampire bats:Swarming. Under the influence of Milkdrinker.
Chimera:Slain by Crusaders.
Zerg & Protoss:Defeated.
Dinosaurs:Roar. Allied with the Bovine rebellion.
Chupacabras:Not psychic.
Vladimir Putin:President of Russia.
Leviathan:Canst thou draw out Leviathan with a fish-hook? One of two living Princes of Hell.
Skysharks:They make sense if you don't think about them.
Dark Eldar:Evil space elves.
Napoleon's Ghost:Returned, again.
Napoleon's Ghost army:One last battle.
Knights Templar:Crusading.
Tyranid survivors:Extremely lucky.
Evil Dinosaur Milk Cheese:Stinky.
Giraffe Snake:Sneaky. Died to liberate the world from the Reptilian menace.
Nazi zombies:Coming in waves.
Lucifer:That old serpent, who is the devil. Dead.
Tesla:The Internet's favorite mad scientist.
7 princes of Hell:Demons. Includes Lucifer. All dead except for Leviathan and Asmodeus.
Metalheads:Fans of
Milkdrinker!Sound guy:Makes
Milkdrinker sound more metal.
Last Chancers:Criminal Imperial Guardsmen.
Ultramarines:The blue ones.
Chupacabra King:Psychic teleporting chupacabra. Dead.
Elemental Lord of Flame:Flame King.
The Tau:The Greater Good!
Simon Cowell:Not very nice.