TURN 19Send it back. That's against the First Amendment. What, did you think I would be an evil government conspiracy? Perish the thought! Return it to its original form.
Re-attempt the trade routes. Bring signs (in both English and any local languages we heard the first time around) explaining our purpose this time.
5,4President Giraffe is becoming an expert statesman (+1 on political actions). Returning the bill to Congress, he is able to pass it again in its original form and intent. He is also the first world leader to recognize the giraffe ambassadors as they reenter the cities and encourages local leaders to sign trade deals with Giraffia.
For the love of the almighty, LET THOSE WHO PERFORM PROPERTY DESTRUCTION WITHOUT REASON PAY WITH THEIR LIVES!!!
I attempt to learn who committed the grievous crime of destruction of property and their reason, and if I deem it unjust, I shall make them pay WITH THEIR LIVES!
3From the distinctive pattern of the blast, you know the GDI must have been the ones to fire that blast. You don't know why they would destroy City Hall, but you do know where the ion cannon satellite is.
Good. pay Oichi and offer to pay her an hotel so she can rest before going home.
2You pay her, but all the hotels are closed due to all the war happening downtown.
BAH! GO BUILD A BETTER WEIRD-MILK FIXER! IN MY LABORATORY THAT IS NOT CONTIGUOUS TO THE HOUSE!
4You retreat from the store. The guards don't seem eager to stop you from leaving. Returning to your lab, you create an atmospheric milk annihilator. Firing this weapon will reduce any milk in a 50ft radius to its component atoms.
"Find a milk factory, seize it by force, and claim it in our name, the Cream Street Bakery!" These orders, and work on baking monkey-bread self-assembling buildings/forts.
5The titan nods, and within minutes has seized control of a factory. With that done, you easily get the bread buildings and raised by the shores of the milky lake.
"Right. Well, we could fix that... but here's what we'll do instead."
Well, firstly check to see if there's anything inefficient about the code that can be fixed to make it work faster.
6One of your coders does the job, but it turns out she was using an improperly secured computer to search through the code. It probably wasn't long enough for anyone to have attacked the files, but it's still a security breach.
ACQUIRE BLACK T-SHIRTS FROM CHARITY BINS, ALSO BUY WHITE FABRIC MARKER PEN
CRAFT T-SHIRTS WITH 'MILKDRINKER' LOGO TO BESTOW UPON MY FANS (IF LESS FANS THAN T-SHIRTS, BRIBE AMBIVALENT OBSERVERS WITH SHIRTS)
BEGIN AMASSING FANATICAL FANBASE
ATTEMPT TO ARRANGE TO PLAY UPCOMING GIG, PREFERABLY ONE TONIGHT OR TOMORROW
DEMAND A CHALICE OF MILK AS MY RIDER
5,2+1,1The shirts are
awesome. In fact, they're awesome enough to start building a loyal underground fanbase. There's one gig available tomorrow, but it's already been booked. A rival musician calling himself Space Laser has just taken the job. He's advertising himself as the true creator of Ukulele Metal and claims you stole his idea.
Create some milk golems from milk I gathered in my lake
4The golems awaken and float around in the milk.
Tell the president that I'm from the future, and that the man I just punched had been about to kill Lincoln, and that in the future some madman became president and plans to build a wall between the US ann Mexico.
Also, wonder if what I've done will affect the other people adventuring around for milk.
Speaking of which, offer him a cup of milk.
4Lincoln takes in what you're saying and seems very thoughtful about it. He's a bit too cautious after his near death to take the milk, however. Union troops drag Booth away. As his co-conspirators are captured over the course of the night, your story becomes much more credible. Lincoln takes you to the White House for a secretive meeting. He asks you how you've managed to come back. He also asks about that madman president you mentioned and what he can do to help.
(OOC:I'll mention your changes to history if they come up in the other players turns. So far, you've eliminated Andrew Johnson's presidency and created a more stable Reconstruction era with a consequently more successful modern South, among other results of Lincoln's survival.)
"THERE HAVE REALLY BEEN BETTER DAYS FOR THE GREAT GOATSBY."
Shift my form into my healthy, normal body to correct the injuries from the cannon.
5Eliphas sees the destroyed city hall and his dead subordinates. He sighs heavily and asks the few survived Chaos Marines for a medical kit. "We have too many enemies and too few allies." Thought Eliphas while reaching for his vox-caster...
If someone has the medical kit and if Goatsby fails his roll, give out an order to heal Goatsby.
Contact NOD Brotherhood and try to make an alliance with them.
If Goatsby is successfully healed, concentrate with Goatsby and open an even bigger portal.
Summon more troops (again).
1,2,5locate wicked and delet them
1vs5Charge back to the ruins of town hall. Slice the hand Lorgar is using the hold the vox off.
Men of iron, please assist me in finishing this.
5vs6(dice sounds)
6vs6Goatsby heals himself by finally taking his true God of Beasts form. Eliphas is unable to contact the Brotherhood of Nod at the moment. They are a secretive bunch after all. However, he is able to open the new portal and pour forth Chaos reinforcements. As the new troops roll in, Gulliman charges back in with the Men of Iron. Joining him is Rethi-Eli and his bunch in search of wicked villains to slay. Gulliman slashes out at Eliphas's wrist, but the Word Bearer is a second quicker and parries the blow. All around, the troops clash in the ruins. Many fall and no clear winner seems to be emerging. The National Guard finally arrives with tanks and ground troops.
Turn space into milk, thus burying the Earth in an apocolyptically-sized mass of milk.
4Well then. You fly high above the earth and raise your right hand/hoof. The power of Diaryomancy is unleashed. A titanic ceramic mug appears beneath the solar system. It fills with milk. The gravity of the Doom Mug begins pulling the solar system down towards it.
In 11 turns, the Doom Mug will engulf the entire solar system if not prevented.