TURN 8Eliphas wakes up and sees that he floats in Warp. Milk containers float around him.
Collect the containers.
Contact Word Bearers somehow and tell them that I have the milk.
Give the milk to Primarch Lorgar himself.
Persuade him to give me a small strike force as a reward. (2 Chaos Sorcerers and a Rhino Transport with 10 Chaos Space Marines inside of it. Rhino also has Heavy Bolter installed on top of it.)
Open warp portal which leads to the most western school in Genericville.
Enter the Rhino and order to ride through the portal.
It's probably a very stupid question but did Eliphas saved some milk containers?
EDIT: Updated.
(That's a lot of actions, we'll see how far you get.)
3,6Floating in the Warp, you reach out and attempt to collect the bottles. After you manage to get four of them, the Warp fades around you and you find yourself somewhere new.
A vast sea of lava flows beneath you, and all around is strangely angular red rocks. Black towers stand in the distance. You still have your communication device, and you manage to get a signal back to the Word Bearers. A Chaos Sorcerer answers and promises to help you get to Lorgar. A few minutes later, the same Sorcerer appears through a Warp portal accompanied by four Chaos Spawn. "Hail, Inheritor. I understand you have an offering for our Primarch. Please, hand it over and I shall deliver it for you." His minions and his force sword seem much less friendly than his tone.
Parkour to store roof.
Eat breakfast.
6,5You hop up to the roof. You knock over a trash can on the way up, scattering garbage over the alleyway. Once you're on top, you finally set out your items and eat breakfast. You have an excellent view of Genericville stretched out around you in the sunlight.
Contain to the employee that I ordered a Strawberry Milk Shake. Not some stupid soda.
2"No, you asked for a soda. He asked for a soda, right?" A few other employees agree that you probably did.
Name: Milk
Description: I am milk.
Why I want milk: I need milk to exist.
Jump into the nearest cookie
6You are milk.
Milk has acquired milk! Slithering out from your hiding place within the house, you attempt to jump into a cookie. However, you do it too hard and smash the cookie.
Go to McDonalds, possess all of their hamburgers and turn them into cows.
6Leaving the befuddled officers, you go to McDonalds. You flow up through the vents and alter all the burgers. They rise as cattle.
Angry cattle. Milk the cows again! If successful, go to the store next to McDonald's to buy some chocolate syrup, and strawberry syrup, too, if they have it.
4,2This time, you're able to trap a few cows and gather some pails of milk, which you put away safely in your edible fridge. You have some trouble finding the store. Instead, you end up in Main Street. Some disaster has clearly befallen that area. The streets are blasted and cratered, and the police are setting up a barricade as firemen work to contain the burning areas.
Milk the cows again! If successful, go to the store next to McDonald's to buy some chocolate syrup, and strawberry syrup, too, if they have it.
Float back to the apartment. Secretly (away from the prying eyes and ears of other cows) ask this guy to kill a (female) cow or two. If I can't speak to mortals, use my biscuit's ability to return to my mortal form, tell him, then return to ghost form. If I just return to mortal cow form instead of ghost cow form, call off the cow murder. Instead, have my new body get milked again, and drink the resulting milk.
If OceanSoul kills some cows, drink spectral milk directly from their ghosts. Win game.
You float about halfway home before accidentally bumping into Mal Tinkke on Main Street. You use your mortal form to speak and ask him to kill some cows for you. It's up to him to decide if he actually wants to do it.
Go back home. Add milk to coffee. Drink coffee. Win game.
6You make it back home, and prepare your coffee. As you start to taste it, you find that it's too hot to drink right now.
dub my faithful knight I Too Have A Desire To Acquire Milk, or Ithadtam to preserve brevity
attempt to break into appliance store and steal a great deal of cinder blocks and construction materials
If successful, begin the construction of a grand citadel
2,4Let me aid you, sir!
4Ithadtam vows to honor his new title. You can't break the lock on the store yourself. Ithadtam offers to help, and kicks the door down. With that obstacle out of the way, you take a forklift to remove all that construction equipment. This seems to be going well.
Well that was unexpected.
Grey knight, where did that portal lead?
The rest of you fan out in search of milk. Find some way to pay for it, but keep your armor and weapons.
Listen to the gray knight, then find a store that sells milk.
1Use psychic powers
3Go shopping
5You order the Knight to use his powers to find Eliphas. He seems a bit unsure of where the traitor went. "He seems to have tried to return to the Warp, but ended up in a land similar, yet very different. I suspect even he doesn't know where he is." Taking that under advisement, you go looking for another place to get milk. You find a station selling fuel for local vehicles, but nothing relevant. However, you get some good news when the Inquisitor calls to report in. He and his troops found a shop that had plenty of milk, and he had had been carrying a pouch of precious gems for just such an occasion.
The Inquisitor has acquired milk!"HELLO, EXPERIMENT 1! THE GREAT GOATSBY WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST A HEART-TO-HEART. AND BY REQUEST I MEAN DEMAND. AND BY A HEART-TO-HEART I MEAN I WANT TO CLONE YOUR HEART."
Attempt to create a clone of Yoink's heart in the palm of my left hand, the only difference being that it pumps out indefinite supply of milk instead of blood.
5"STOP THAT ALREADY, DAMNIT DUDE!"
STRENUOUSLY PREVENT HOUSEMATE MALLOS FROM PERFORMING ANY MORE MAGICAL EXPERIMENTS ON ME
PERHAPS SHOVE HIM INTO NEARBY ANIMAL ENCLOSURE
THEN BOOK IT THROUGH THE ZOO TO JOIN SOME SORT OF TOUR, TRYING TO PICK UP SOME SORT OF DRINK CONTAINER ON THE WAY
1 vs 5,6The Great Goatsby attempts to cast a spell on Yoink again, which seems to anger Yoink. Yoink tries to shove Goatsby, but trips and falls painfully into a porcupine pit. Goatsby is able to cast his spell, and gets the disembodied organ. Milk pours freely from its arteries as it beats. Yoink climbs out of the pit and accidentally knocks over a stack of cups on a concessions stand. Yoink takes one of the cups.
Goatsby has acquired milk!Feeed...
1Somewhere, the remains of the Milk Monster fall into a trap as lights come on around it.
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