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[KaineFisher]

A Garlic press is easily obtained, and there will be monkeys in the Biolab. A Jar of live roaches, while strange, could very easily be obtained as well. If anything, they can just bio-print the roaches, it's not like they're that complicated when one can clone perfect human beings and more.

Question is, is Amadou going to leave the rest of his care at the room? there might still be someone who hadn't introduced themselves yet and who knows what might happen when you leave a bunch of primitives together with a quest of cooking instant soup. I know it's as easy as unwrapping the container, put the bar in a bowl and add hot water then stir well for a minute or so to have delicious, nutritious soup with chunky meatstuff, but really. Are you going to risk it? what if they put the thing in the microwave and it exploded? damned thing's going to cost money and you haven't even earned any yet!

Or what if they put it in the toilet and clogs it up? or the showers? or the bath!?

By the dead gods, what if they put it directly into the water boiler? It's going to be a mess!

At least you don't have a computer to worry about yet.. the amount of things they could find would be terrifying.

It'd be so bad if you returned only to find the room covered in feces as the savages make their mark or something.. the cleaning details would require a hazmat team for that, and they're going to expect to be paid too.

Hell, what if they mistook a bar of soap for food? That'd get them sick! you wouldn't want your team to be sick on your first mission!

If you fuck this up, what are they going to think of you? that you're some incompetent fool that can't keep a bunch of primitive savages in line? why, the chance of you climbing the corporate ladder would be non-existent then! then you'd never make it to space!

Oh the horror!

(OOC): That reminds me of my preschool classroom if the teacher left the classroom for more than 5 minutes.

[Maegil]

((Ye GODS!))

Thanking the lab guys if they can send the roaches up to the room today still; about one hundred of them would be appreciated. Amadou apologises to Khaiden for the useless trip.
"Might as well take the stuff with us. I'll take the monkey, please bring the rest."
I'll just return to the room.

[vkiNm]

While returning to your room. those outside could see a literal dragon the size of a small bus bursting out from the structure that houses the gate leading to Terra, you swore it shouted something like "HIGUYSTALSAIDICOULDBYE" before flying out to the distance.

It was very.. weird.

[Maegil]

"Dafuq?!
That must have been the Foxhound team's dragon - that's Akras top gate team. There are rumours that he was once a human, but then they diverge wildly: he had some kind of magical accident, he ordered a cloned draconic body, he made a wrong wish... get the point?
Anyway, I've heard that the whole team is a bit unhinged from all they've seen and done, and we'd better keep clear so we won't get caught in the friendly crossfire."
Head for the room.

[vkiNm]

"Dafuq?!
That must have been the Foxhound team's dragon - that's Akras top gate team. There are rumours that he was once a human, but then they diverge wildly: he had some kind of magical accident, he ordered a cloned draconic body, he made a wrong wish... get the point?
Anyway, I've heard that the whole team is a bit unhinged from all they've seen and done, and we'd better keep clear so we won't get caught in the friendly crossfire."
Head for the room.

You returned to the room with your residential necromancer.


What have the two elves been doing in this time? did they make a mess? tried to use the food processor? accidentally blow something up or marked half of their room as their own using urine and feces?

[Prophet]

At the sound of the door opening Melnakos snaps awake from his nap.

Oh hi! Why do you have a monkey? Is it for another weird human custom? Are you going to mate with it? Some of my kin used to call humans bald monkeys. Is it true? Are humans monkeys in disguise?

[S34N1C]

Dexter attempts to prepare the food in the manner described earlier, but fails miserably, resulting an a substance kind of like a bowl of crunchy applesauce. He is apperantly oblivious to the fact that he did it wrong.

So, this is what humans eat huh? Better get used to it.

After (somehow) eating his "food" he kind of just stands near his new teammates and stares uncomfortably. He does however very nearly get stepped on by the random dragon busting in.

[Maegil]

Amadou smiles sweetly. "...You know, I'm holding back an urge to go totally pedantic here. Instead I'll just mention that on Earth there are many mythological mentions of Elves and of how they used to be disrespectful to humans. However, that's ancient folklore; for some reason they seem to have gone extinct...

As for the monkey, we're going to perform magical experiments on it, and then let Khaiden eat its soul. Are you volunteering to go next?"

[Prophet]

Melnakos makes a confused face.

Why would I volunteer to do that? Do humans give their souls so easily? That doesn't sound like a intelligent thing to do. Humans are so weird sometimes. Anyway can I watch the experiment?

[Maegil]

"Sure, you can all watch, even help if you want, but I'm still missing some components... and a team member who I was told would be arriving today. While we wait for them to arrive, I'm going to put a video overview of what humans are capable, just so you know."
Start with Romans, go to the Vikings, and show some medieval warfare, including an assault on a walled city.
"So far, I imagine it's pretty much what you'd expect to find here, right? Well, from then on, while both intelligence and bravery became more necessary than ever, muscle has become less and less important as the technology allowed humans to sow destruction in ever greater scales. All that was needed for you to be killed became first 'to be seen', and eventually 'to be anywhere near the targetted ground zero'."
Show the progression from the Napoleonic era (with an age of sail naval battle), to the WWI showing Verdun and Jutland, WWII with highlights on Stalingrad, Prokhorovka, the battle of Britain, Omaha beach, Midway and the European bombing campaigns. Show how the world came to the brink of disaster during the cold war, when there were enough nukes to cauterize the planet several times over. Continue with La Drang, Desert Storm missile and air strikes, the modern age crusades, the nuclear 16 hour war, and Syndicate wars' kill teams' footage. Show what is a 'rod from god'. End with some action scenes from the Foxhound team fighting massed enemies and huge monsters.
"...And that, gentlemen, is why it's a bad idea to piss off us Terrans."

[KaineFisher]

Why would I volunteer to do that? Do humans give their souls so easily? That doesn't sound like a intelligent thing to do. Humans are so weird sometimes. Anyway can I watch the experiment?

"I've encountered Elves twice. Once it was a Commune and they tried to kill me. I ran and managed to escape after leading the six Elves pursuing me to a bandit camp. I did not stick around, but the screams were very high-pitched and feminine.

The second time it was a lone Elf who boasted he would show the bourgeoisie the power of the Communist Champion. I realized he was referring to himself an hour afterward, which was 58 minutes after I killed him. I had never eaten a soul with such a fruity aftertaste before.

I always thought your race should probably focus more on solving your dysfunctional society and lack of progress than mocking Humans or it would be crushed within a century. I admit now that I was wrong. Now that Akras is involved it will be two decades tops. How's it feel to be an accomplice to the end of your race's freedom on Gaia? I for one feel great."

(OOC): Khaiden is not being malicious. He feels no loyalty to anyone but himself, but is trying to learn how "normal" people interact. In this case he honestly wants to know how Melnakos to be a traitor not only to his race, but to his entire dimension.

[~Neri]

((Arguably Akras is the best thing to ever have happened to Gaia. It's simply cost efficient to uplift and vassalize.))

[KaineFisher]

"Sure, you can all watch, even help if you want, but I'm still missing some components... and a team member who I was told would be arriving today. While we wait for them to arrive, I'm going to put a video overview of what humans are capable, just so you know."
Start with Romans, go to the Vikings, and show some medieval warfare, including an assault on a walled city.
"So far, I imagine it's pretty much what you'd expect to find here, right? Well, from then on, while bravery became more necessary than ever, muscle has become less and less important as the technology allowed humans to sow destruction in ever greater scales and that was needed for you to be killed became first 'to be seen', and eventually 'to be anywhere near the targetted ground zero'."
Show the progression from the Napoleonic era (with an age of sail naval battle), to the WWI showing Verdun and Jutland, WWII with highlights on Stalingrad, Prokhorovka, the battle of Britain, Omaha beach, Midway and the European bombing campaigns. Show how the world came to the brink of disaster during the cold war, when there were enough nukes to cauterize the planet several times over. Continue with La Drang, Desert Storm missile and air strikes, the modern age crusades, the nuclear 16 hour war, and Syndicate wars' kill teams' footage. Show what is a 'rod from god'. End with some action scenes from the Foxhound team fighting massed enemies and huge monsters.
"...And that, gentlemen, is why it's a bad idea to piss off us Terrans."

"This is going to be so much FUN!!!!! Who else is excited?"

[Maegil]

I always thought your race should probably focus more on solving your dysfunctional society and lack of progress than mocking Humans or it would be crushed within a century. I admit now that I was wrong. Now that Akras is involved it will be two decades tops. How's it feel to be an accomplice to the end of your race's freedom on Gaia? I for one feel great."

"Sorry, but if we decided on genocide it wouldn't take twenty years. More likely, in two weeks Akras' biolabs would have a gene-kill virus, a selective disease with a short incubation, capable of contaminating and spreading from all animals but only lethal to Elves. A long asymptomatic contagious phase to ensure that it'd spread to the entire population, taking maybe a few months or even a year before killing the infected elves. I'd say that in two years there wouldn't be an elf left alive in all Gaia - except those working for us, who'd get a vaccine.
That would, of course, be something to be done only if the Elves as a species prove to be too obnoxious and uncooperative. If they're actually too violent and intractable to be humane about it, we could make the contagious phase much shorter and disabling to prevent them from fighting us, even if this disease probably wouldn't reach every last one with just one application. In this case, I'd say that seven or eight out of each ten would die on a first application, and it'd take another one or three to ensure the complete extinction of the Elven species."

[S34N1C]

Dexter seems uneasy as Amadou finishes his presentation.


Well, your species certainly has perfected many ways to kill each other.
However, I would like to make one thing clear. The last person who threatened me barely escaped with his life.