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[AbstractTraitorHero]

Also, ATH, I read through your sheet. There are a few things that don't make much sense to me, but you don't have to change it or anything. I'll just point them out.

- Michelle installed the eye projector things herself. Without any skills in cybernetics or medical matters. She put the projectors in her eyes, without the aid of someone else. How? You see from your eyes, how did she put the projectors in if she couldn't see if she's doing it right?
- While I can understand being somewhat skilled in the usage of firearms, explosives don't make much sense. Where'd she get the explosives from? Were there 'how to blow something up' lessons in the orphanage?
- "She volunteered". Why did she volunteer to go to a far away planet to kill monsters without any previous experience in hunting or combat? She just suddenly decided 'oh, there are monsters and I want to kill them'. Not to mention mercenary work isn't really volunteering. You do it for the cold, hard cash.
- Also, your bio's pretty short.
- Fix the bolding.

Again, you don't have to change your sheet. I just wanted to point out things that irked me thanks to being illogical.

It was made when it was like 11pm at night I'm gonna shift it around
1. I'm gonna change that so she went to a doctor to install it.
2. I have no idea why explosives are there at all as it dosent fit the character
3,she's doing it quite honestly because to her she could never live a normal life normal people normal lifes she figures that being a mercenary she can play by her rules or her clients can go and die I was using volunteer in a metaphorical sense meaning when she got the chance to become one she leaped on it.

[Mr.Zero]

SNip

And ATH, please format that text. It's a giant blob of bold text.

Applications look alright, send out some PM's to some people regarding some small details which they could add to their story.

[Twinwolf]

ATH, I'd like to ask why you picked a "Persuasion" skill? You can't exactly talk the monsters into not clawing your face off.

[AbstractTraitorHero]

ATH, I'd like to ask why you picked a "Persuasion" skill? You can't exactly talk the monsters into not clawing your face off.

Because their could be times where it will be useful maybe getting better pay better rewards allies stopping fights with human enemies.

[Twinwolf]

Also, character done (I think?). Critique?

[Mr.Zero]

Also, character done (I think?). Critique?

It looks incomplete, the last sentence makes me expect something, yet there is nothing. Read trough it again yourself and question the content and if it adds up.

[Twinwolf]

Must have missed that part when I was copying from the google doc. Will edit a bit.

[Nakéen]

Bio modified according to Zero's suggestions.

I will also change my Mech later, not yet sure if I'm taking a Rhino or a Wraith.

[AbstractTraitorHero]

Nother critique?

[Twinwolf]

You have skill as a 'melee specialist', so I'd say Rhino because if you're getting close you want as much armor as possible.

EDIT: Added a bit more to the description, just why she went through basic training. Can't think of much more.

And the backstory assumes that humanity has expanded enough that worlds dedicated to factories are a thing.

[Nakéen]

Here are my thoughts :
Rhino :
+lot of hardware points, allowing for a good versatility
+heavy armor = durability
- big and heavy = less mobile than other mech, easy target

-Wraith :
+cloaking
+Trinity OS
+lot of software points, allowing for a good specialization
-weak armor = frail

Both of them could potentially work as a close-range mech, but the mentality would be different.
If I were to take a Rhino, I would be a frontline heavy unit with potentially boosted thrusters to close the gap.
If I were to take a Wraith, I would probably focus on stealth and speed, or some other gimmick. I still need some time to think about it, but I'm interested in exploring this way.

Edit: A question about Software, do them only work as upgrades or can they work independently ?
For example if we were to take a Wraith with a Jet Thruster Hardware module, then would the 3 Software modules be restricted to Jet Thrusters's upgrade modules ? Or could we have an independent Software module like, er, Improved Spacenet Connection or something ?
And can Software Modules upgrade another Software module in the previous case ?

[Mr.Zero]

Here are my thoughts :
Rhino :
+lot of hardware points, allowing for a good versatility
+heavy armor = durability
- big and heavy = less mobile than other mech, easy target

-Wraith :
+cloaking
+Trinity OS
+lot of software points, allowing for a good specialization
-weak armor = frail

Both of them could potentially work as a close-range mech, but the mentality would be different.
If I were to take a Rhino, I would be a frontline heavy unit with potentially boosted thrusters to close the gap.
If I were to take a Wraith, I would probably focus on stealth and speed, or some other gimmick. I still need some time to think about it, but I'm interested in exploring this way.

Edit: A question about Software, do them only work as upgrades or can they work independently ?
For example if we were to take a Wraith with a Jet Thruster Hardware module, then would the 3 Software modules be restricted to Jet Thrusters's upgrade modules ? Or could we have an independent Software module like, er, Improved Spacenet Connection or something ?
And can Software Modules upgrade another Software module in the previous case ?

Yes they can work independent albeit these software modules will be expensive as they will provide an unique function not common to the suit.
Yes, they can upgrade each-other. For example a more advanced scanner software module could upgrade a tracking software module since you are able to map the area better and thus anticipate what will happen better.

A note to suits. Whilst Eidolon might be the most all round, it's all round. So if you need to muscle down a beast, sponge up bullets, or carry around an heavy piece of equipment then that suit will not stand up to the task and you will have to find work-around where you might need to get a mobile platform. Which in return forces you to protect that additionally to what you have. Same thing for wraith. Eidolon won't be able to utilize utility equipment as well as wraith could, so you might need to force your way into a base or spend time physically tracking something because you don't ahve the utility for it.

But there will also be more suits in the future with other varying slots and rarities, including monster hunter. So your choice will not cement you into a specific role albeit, if you develop yourself towards that role then it will.

[Nakéen]

I see, thanks for the answer ! I will go with a Wraith for the start then.

[Pencil_Art]

I will go Rhino.

Sheet completed, feedback needed.

[Hawk132]

Looks good to me.

Also, ATH. You seem to have 15 stat points still left to spend.