I've been feeling more hopeless and distressed than usual lately. Today was my only day off this week, and I had to spend maybe the first 4 or 5 hours of it in a listless, depressed stupor; just collapsed in my computer chair too depressed to do anything other than browse stupid youtube videos that I don't care about.
Can relate. I've been doing this for weeks because I'm in my own head about a relationship. Hard to sink into the things I used to with this going on mentally and emotionally.
So you know what I did? I started working out again. I just feel better afterward. It didn't solve my problems by any means but it gave me some distance from my own thoughts plus the natural endorphins from working out. I know you've been down that road before too but....maybe you need a change of habit. Coming home and distracting yourself with doomscrolling isn't helpful. I literally spent most of the weekend doomscrolling Facebook and I hate myself for it.
Also if your online-only friends are willing....talk to them. I had an online only friend who really needed to talk about the miscarriage he and his wife just experienced. He was reticent to talk about it though but I could tell it was clearly messing him and I invited him to share his struggles. Maybe it helped him, maybe it didn't.
You might also legitimately consider therapy. I'm not a fan but if you aren't finding resolution in your own head, then you need to get that stuff out into the open so it can start being addressed. It may not SOLVE it for you but the unburdening is a real psychological benefit. And if it's appropriate, anti-anxiety meds. Some people swear by them when they realized anxiety was crippling their ability to live their life.
Sorry man, I know you've been struggling for a while. All is not lost though. The road is just rockier for some of us than others.