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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1107421 times)

Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8760 on: September 21, 2018, 10:49:35 am »

@George_Chickens: It's not a suicide bombing if I drive off...was thinking more of the PKK-style drive-by grenade attacks in Turkey.
You didn't specify where the grenade was when it exploded, though... Kinda like that Darwin Award-winner who used a live grenade to extort someone, then forgot to replace the pin before driving off.

I'm not entirely sure how he managed to miss the spring-loaded lever flying away as soon as he released it, but hey...

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8761 on: September 21, 2018, 12:18:42 pm »

The primary sticking point still seems to be 'What the heck do we do with North Ireland?' What I can get of the gist of it is that the EU wants NI to be economically connected to Ireland, but Theresa May wants it to be connected with the rest of the UK. Basically, the EU wants to do something which is an absolute no-go for Theresa May and there are some things that Theresa May wants to do which are no-go for the EU, and neither side can find a solution that is acceptable to the other.

...

Maybe they should ask what North Ireland wants as it's stuck in the middle of all this? Also, I had a thought, 'what about Gibraltar?'. Seemed like the issue of Gibraltar got resolved pretty quick. It's not perfectly analogous, but still, it shares the same property of being connected by land border with another country while being separated from the UK itself by water.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2018, 12:21:20 pm by smjjames »
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8762 on: September 21, 2018, 12:28:27 pm »

Quote
The primary sticking point still seems to be 'What the heck do we do with North Ireland?' What I can get of the gist of it is that the EU wants NI to be economically connected to Ireland, but Theresa May wants it to be connected with the rest of the UK
Not quite. It has to do with the GFA and how it might work with the UK outside the SM.  Google it because even mentioning it is dangerous enough  :P
Quote
Maybe they should ask what North Ireland wants as it's stuck in the middle of all this?
Careful... you're circling closer and closer to a very  politically loaded issue and you'll catch flak from everyone
Quote
Basically, the EU wants to do something which is an absolute no-go for Theresa May and there are some things that Theresa May wants to do which are no-go for the EU, and neither side can find a solution that is acceptable to the other.
Well kinda obvious - but it has been like this for months. I predicted this back in May didnt I ? :p  basically the issue cannot be squared at all as it stands.  There is no way to make mutually exclusive principles not mutually exclusive




Quote
Also, I had a thought, 'what about Gibraltar?'. Seemed like the issue of Gibraltar got resolved pretty quick.
Well, it wasnt really resolved but it's less of a central issue. Worst case scenario is a closed border (or a full customs check border, which doubles as a closed-border-by-traffic-jam). It would suck for those crossing the border regularly but that's about it. It doesnt have the same potential for political violence as NIreland
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8763 on: September 21, 2018, 12:30:01 pm »

Wut Redking?.....

Last I've heard, Theresa May is walking away from the negotiations (or things are otherwise at a stalemate) and preparing for a no-deal Brexit.
That's sort of my point. I'm waiting for the Leavers to furiously sputter that things will be fine and that it wasn't a mistake. Meanwhile, I'm considering a new business selling MREs and survival gear to Brits.


@George_Chickens: It's not a suicide bombing if I drive off...was thinking more of the PKK-style drive-by grenade attacks in Turkey.
Dont you want shares in my Organization? I'm going to start an ibuprofen and toilet paper black market in the UK, using forumnites as mules and dealers.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8764 on: September 21, 2018, 01:06:44 pm »

Quote
The primary sticking point still seems to be 'What the heck do we do with North Ireland?' What I can get of the gist of it is that the EU wants NI to be economically connected to Ireland, but Theresa May wants it to be connected with the rest of the UK
Not quite. It has to do with the GFA and how it might work with the UK outside the SM.  Google it because even mentioning it is dangerous enough  :P

Hrm, I found the full text of the GFA treaty and it doesn't go into economics much (just one small section), so, I'm confused how the economics come into play if it has to do with the GFA. I mean, I get how Theresa May wouldn't want to break that treaty, but why is the reporting saying they're arging over economic related things instead of Theresa May going 'We've got this uber sensitive treaty we have to deal with...' when the treaty itself barely involves economics at all. Maybe there are amendments and addenums added later that weren't in the original document, though wikipedia doesn't seem to mention any.

Quote
Quote
Maybe they should ask what North Ireland wants as it's stuck in the middle of all this?
Careful... you're circling closer and closer to a very  politically loaded issue and you'll catch flak from everyone

It was more of a hypothetical thinking off the top of my head and not entirely serious. I am aware of the political sensitivity of the issue. Then again, Theresa May would probably still say no regardless. Hopefully NI doesn't explode in even a no-deal Brexit because they're still going to have to deal with the same issues.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8765 on: September 21, 2018, 01:32:42 pm »

Quote
Hrm, I found the full text of the GFA treaty and it doesn't go into economics much (just one small section), so, I'm confused how the economics come into play if it has to do with the GFA. I mean, I get how Theresa May wouldn't want to break that treaty, but why is the reporting saying they're arging over economic related things instead of Theresa May going 'We've got this uber sensitive treaty we have to deal with...' when the treaty itself barely involves economics at all. Maybe there are amendments and addenums added later that weren't in the original document, though wikipedia doesn't seem to mention any.

The GFA is a fudge that allows people of very different sensitivities  to  define themselves as they wish without killing each other. That fudge is reliant on there not being a border to stop people from moving back and forth  or to throw grenades at for that matter. The lack of a border is reliant on there being a single market making border checks unnecessary.  The whole thing was based about both the ROI and the UK being in the EU. Remove that and we're suddenly in Terra Incognita

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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8766 on: September 21, 2018, 01:42:15 pm »

Quote
Hrm, I found the full text of the GFA treaty and it doesn't go into economics much (just one small section), so, I'm confused how the economics come into play if it has to do with the GFA. I mean, I get how Theresa May wouldn't want to break that treaty, but why is the reporting saying they're arging over economic related things instead of Theresa May going 'We've got this uber sensitive treaty we have to deal with...' when the treaty itself barely involves economics at all. Maybe there are amendments and addenums added later that weren't in the original document, though wikipedia doesn't seem to mention any.

The GFA is a fudge that allows people of very different sensitivities  to  define themselves as they wish without killing each other. That fudge is reliant on there not being a border to stop people from moving back and forth  or to throw grenades at for that matter. The lack of a border is reliant on there being a single market making border checks unnecessary.  The whole thing was based about both the ROI and the UK being in the EU. Remove that and we're suddenly in Terra Incognita

Sounds like a no-deal Brexit would still have the potential to ignite NI. Theresa May is in a real 'damned if you do, damned if you don't'  situation.
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8767 on: September 21, 2018, 03:24:43 pm »

Quote
Hrm, I found the full text of the GFA treaty and it doesn't go into economics much (just one small section), so, I'm confused how the economics come into play if it has to do with the GFA. I mean, I get how Theresa May wouldn't want to break that treaty, but why is the reporting saying they're arging over economic related things instead of Theresa May going 'We've got this uber sensitive treaty we have to deal with...' when the treaty itself barely involves economics at all. Maybe there are amendments and addenums added later that weren't in the original document, though wikipedia doesn't seem to mention any.

The GFA is a fudge that allows people of very different sensitivities  to  define themselves as they wish without killing each other. That fudge is reliant on there not being a border to stop people from moving back and forth  or to throw grenades at for that matter. The lack of a border is reliant on there being a single market making border checks unnecessary.  The whole thing was based about both the ROI and the UK being in the EU. Remove that and we're suddenly in Terra Incognita

Sounds like a no-deal Brexit would still have the potential to ignite NI. Theresa May is in a real 'damned if you do, damned if you don't'  situation.

She's been in that situation since she blew a 20-point lead in 6 weeks. She's been needing to appeal to both the Remainers and Leavers in her party while trying to keep the DUP onside for the last, what, 15 months?
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RedKing

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8768 on: September 21, 2018, 03:30:17 pm »

The primary sticking point still seems to be 'What the heck do we do with North Ireland?' What I can get of the gist of it is that the EU wants NI to be economically connected to Ireland, but Theresa May wants it to be connected with the rest of the UK. Basically, the EU wants to do something which is an absolute no-go for Theresa May and there are some things that Theresa May wants to do which are no-go for the EU, and neither side can find a solution that is acceptable to the other.

My understanding is that it's a bit the other way around. England wants Ireland and N. Ireland to continue having a more-or-less open border, because that's been good for keeping the peace and good for N. Ireland's economy. The EU says, "Nope, you want out, you're out." And that means treating the Irish-N. Irish border the same way that the England-French border will be -- checkpoints, customs, the whole nine yards. Trade between the two will slow down immensely, and for a lot of older Irish, it'll be a symbolic return to the days of the Troubles.

Now, at first glance, it might seem the EU is being an unreasonable hardass here, threatening peace and security over a border issue. But -- if they don't enforce the same border rules, you can beat your bottom dollar that British companies will figure out a way to exploit a soft Irish border to circumvent the hard border between Dover and Calais.

It's a bit of a shit situation, and one of the reasons most of Northern Ireland (especially the constituencies along the Irish border) voted Remain. Along with the fact that those areas tend to identify more as Irish than British, while the Unionist areas voted Leave.
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Imic

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8769 on: September 21, 2018, 04:11:42 pm »

Ireland and her border has been the biggest complication in the Brexit deal. My opinion? The bastards shouldn’t have invaded us in the first place.
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8770 on: September 21, 2018, 04:24:24 pm »

to quote a character from red dead redemption,

i blame the mexicans
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8771 on: September 21, 2018, 06:10:16 pm »

Told you.

*smacks smjjames*
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8772 on: September 21, 2018, 07:13:29 pm »

Eh? Imic is Irish, not NORTHERN Irish, I think. One person does not make a flame war.
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George_Chickens

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8773 on: September 21, 2018, 10:02:35 pm »

Ireland and her border has been the biggest complication in the Brexit deal. My opinion? The bastards shouldn’t have invaded us in the first place.


A British invader unionist RUC professor and Tory supporter was teaching a class on Oliver Cromwell, known Brit
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Cromwell and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, almost as great as Margret Thatcher!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-Ireland Provo champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war against the Brits and fully supported all military decision made by the organization stood up and held up a potato.

"How much have the Brits blighted this potato?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Britishly and smugly replied "None. The British had nothing to do with the potato famine."

"Wrong. British control of the farms caused reliance on one crop, and the British refused the famine aid proposed by several countries. Really makes you think, huh?"

The Brit was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and weapons he obviously had used to extort the Irish. He stormed out of the room crying those British Hun crocodile tears.

The students applauded and at least seventeen car bombs went off in the street that day and they all accepted Gerry Adams as their lord and saviour. An Armalite named "32 Counties" shot out of the room and blew a member of the Ulster Defence Association away. The Proclamation of the Irish Republic was read several times, and Bobby Sands himself showed up and enacted guerrilla warfare against the Brits across the country.

The professor lost his kneecaps and was fired upon the next day. He died of shame and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

That brave patriot's name? James Connolly.
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Il Palazzo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8774 on: September 21, 2018, 10:08:54 pm »

Well done. Have a potato.
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