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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1006599 times)

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7815 on: March 18, 2018, 05:25:44 am »

Yes that seems all we know and all I could find out. I found sources where journalists were wondering whether an investigation had been initiated/requested, but no answer. If you have one, please do provide it!
https://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/londen-klaagt-russen-aan-om-gifgas-en-voert-zo-de-druk-op-rusland-op~a4580674/
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2018/03/uk-send-poison-sample-opcw-nerve-attack-spy-180315080321509.html

UK sent their diplomat to the OPCW in the Hague to request an investigation the same day that they asked Russia to come with an explanation.

Evil Knievel, a little scepticism can never hurt, but you are pushing it a bit far mate. I would almost think you are getting paid to spread doubt and confusion.

Also, holy shit, the Russian government must have spent millions on Google, to bump the results of fake news about the UK not complying with OPCW, and conspiracy theories about a false flag operation to the top on most google searches.
Looks like UK still has a lot to learn about the information war.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2018, 05:27:36 am by martinuzz »
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Evil Knievel

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7816 on: March 18, 2018, 05:47:57 am »

EDIT up-front: while I was still typing, martinuzz (thanks) supplied that UK actually did start the investigation. Now that is a good thing, and it also means that much of what I wrote is now not any more meaningful. I leave it standing here anyway, because I think that the larger context of the cold war, and how we should not so freely run into one is still something I want to point out (and because it took all my Sunday morning to write up), just be aware that I am already aware that I have been proven wrong. Sorry Loud Whispers.

Let's see now how the investigation goes!

PS: and martinuzz, I know the feeling that someone else seems to be bought on the internet very well, but I assure you it is not the case with me. I just read a lot of Noam Chomsky in the past, who undoubtly inspired a lot of sceptisicm in me (still recommend), I grew up discussing with my children friends how the nuclear war would wipe us all out and how our country would be defended by our allies bombing it into oblivion to stop the advancing soviet troops. Also,
I mostly only post when I have an opinion that would piss people off.
PPS: my wondering about the lack of an OPCW investigation came actually from the Tagesschau.

Sorry, but I need to express my frustration. Thus thread is usually a last resort where some balanced opinions are being exchanged (sorry, not the opinions are always balanced - some are, but the exchange is usually), but the incident with the russian spy and the nerve gas?
I understand that reddit and media outlets and all main stream is pointing at Russia. It kind of fits with the general "we are the good guys"-exceptionalism of the west rethoric.
Reddit is worthless cancer, media is worthless vomit, the UK does not subscribe to good guy exceptionalism (having rather the opposite problem, being absolute in their conviction of their own innate evil).
I am surprised, I have not perceived the UK media or the UK government being too critical of itself. 
That the same is going on here is saddening. Sorry UK, but give me some evidence. At least a little more than a Soviet formula that is on Wikipedia. Yes Russia is evil, but since when are the Western states any better? Just remembering weapons of mass destruction and Iraq.

All I see is that there is a heating propaganda war between Russia and the West. I refuse to take sides because I won't chose whose lies I believe. I believe instead, as an informed guess, that there will never be any truth in the public about a story involving a double agent, cold war rethorics, Russia, a poison attack that likely only can be orchestrated by a state actor (or one of their agencies). So, we better accept the ignorance, and look at what is happening instead.
Refuse ignorance as nothing short of deliberate ignorance, the war ceases to be a propaganda war once innocents start getting publicly killed in deliberate, dramatic fashion.
Issues of morality are one thing, Moscow's track record of eliminating dissidents internally is business as usual. Yet once Moscow begins interfering in the internal affairs of foreign nations, when it is eliminating citizens under British protection in such a sloppy manner - using nerve agents which even result in British casualties, it is nothing short of a call to war.
You are right about the morality of Moscow, all I am saying is that it is not evidence, and that there are plenty of other actors with the capabilities and an interest in this situation with similarly non-existent moral standards (and please don't ask me for examples - I'd rather everybody to list a few as their homework). I'd say between states moral standards are only important to the point over which someone could lose their job (which is one use of shady agencies).
Ok, sorry, I will try again in a more civilized way :)
What appears strange to me is how readily a lot of people jump to readily blame Russia. It is obvious to suspect Russia and to ask for clarification, but putting ultimatums out like it's being done now - I just defies common sense to me, to start the cold war so readily again.
This is not the first time Putin has ordered an assassination on UK soil in such a way as to be obvious; I do not doubt that Putin has methods to discreetly assassinate someone, so to be so brazen speaks volumes of his disrespect for the British state. The danger therein lies when there are ambiguities as to the thresholds of both states, of what they are willing to tolerate. One of our police officers may not survive this attack, so you might be able to empathize with why the UK cannot respond with anything but a resumption of the cold war - certainly, I believe Theresa May has not responded nearly harshly enough, and if she has, has not made these responses public yet. The ultimatum in question was rather simple one, obligating Russia with little except an explanation of how one of their weapons ended up getting deployed on British soil. This weapon was only manufactured in the USSR, which means that there are two possibilities: Either the weapon in question was smuggled out during the collapse of the Soviet Union and deployed by a third party, or it was deployed by the Russian federation. To ask Putin how it came to be that this occurred is a courtesy, a last chance to rectify the fuck up. That chance has been lost, sadly.
This is one possibility, and if it is the truth I completely agree with you, but it may also be what you are made to believe. At present, I do not think you need to be a conspiracy theorist to see how other scenarios also have at least moderate plausability. Never forget the last time Nato was dragged into a war based on lies, there even was fabricated evidence. You can believe what you want of course, but if you really wonder what the truth is, I'd suggest to wait a bit more.
What would be the logical procedure is to bring the case to the OPCW for a challenge investigation against Russia, and not doing so can be interpreted as not really being interested in the truth, but rather in the conflict itself. It would be absolutely critical to see Russia's reaction to such a neutral inspection.
I see much talk on Sputnik and RT, both of which are activated media assets of Moscow, of how the UK is disinterested in the truth because they do not want to submit any sample to the OPCW. Of course this is entirely false, the UK is sending a sample to the OPCW. Furthermore, while you and I may be alike in our distrust of anything the UK government says, the analysis from our military personnel in chemical warfare research was stellar, and they refrained from speaking on conjecture, only on conclusive evidence. Consequently they have my trust, and we shall see what is concluded with the OPCW. Furthermore, there is something rather hypocritical in Moscow accusing Sweden, Czech Republic, Slovakia and even the UK (with no evidence!!!) of manufacturing the weapon produced by them, when none of them have a track record of murdering Russian defectors under their protection.
Yes, I learned that, but I am still waiting to find out whether actually an investigation has been initiated by the UK. But I believe we will hear about it soon enough if it is the case because:
Quote
6. If applicable, the Director-General shall notify the State Party on whose territory an investigation has been requested. The Director-General shall also notify other States Parties if access to their territories might be required during the investigation.
For the rest, as usual Russia is constant propaganda and misinformation mode. No surprise.

I find it troubling how fast France and Germany went to support the UK in this. It's not surprising though. Because of the UK's confrontation course with Russia, it is a kind of "be with or against us" situation (and then the choice is obvious).
I'm puzzled by the framing that the UK is on a warpath with Russia, collecting France and Germany for a confrontation course. Can provocation be answered with anything but confrontation, when the provocations so brazenly disregard the state involved? It is abundantly clear that Putin holds zero respect in the credibility or seriousness of the Westminster government, thus the safest thing to do is seek confrontation and establish clear boundaries between peace and war. The success of confrontation is such that it deters anyone from making stupid moves under the impression that the other side will not react, once it is clear the other side will react, that impression is removed. I hate this state of affairs, I certainly had hoped that Russia and the UK could return to their historically friendly relations, but it is for the time being never going to be reality for fault of Putin's fears.
I fear you are right. I think it is terrifying to live in such a situation with a direct neighbour and if a cold war turns too hot, it will be good for the UK to be an island, but it won't help continental Europe. However, as implied before, I think the actions of Nato are equally responsible for this mess as is Putin's behaviour, and the reason in the background is an overlap in the respective desired spheres of influence. Russia has interests beyond its borders and Nato's interests end no earlier than Russia's borders.
Who would have gained from it?
Putin? For his election, absolutely. T. May? Obviously, too. Finally, the country (and other countries) are behind her. And there are other obvious candidates whose agenda would benefit from the outcome of this. And there might be much deeper reasons that will never be obvious to the public, so for us, it is really hard to ask the question for who has which motive, and I would consider it to be far from answered.

Quote
"traitors or those who simply hate their country in their free time": "Don't choose Britain as a place to live."
Public execution before an election to make it clear opposition will be dealt with. Pretty obvious benefit for Putin, a public execution to make an example of a traitor. If Theresa May was going to false flag the UK to distract everyone from something (her failing political career, the English child trafficking scandal, inability to actually leave the EU all being possible examples I have heard), I don't think she would be so daft as to false flag in such a way as to have zero plausible deniability. Her claim is that this nerve agent, one which she explicitly identifies, is one that is verifiably Russian in origin. If she was going to false flag the UK, she would pick a generic nerve agent (or really any generic weapon), and she would pick a public target - not someone entirely unknown to the public.

And it is rather tiring as time goes on, continually trying to be cordial and diplomatic with a partner who does little but unleash ransomware upon you. Is cyberwarfare not enough? It has to be chemical warfare too? Saddening times.
Yes and no, as I already said above. I think we are in a cold war-like phase and both sides act correspondingly. And if there will be a war, countries are being destroyed and people are dying and both sides won't care about them, we can thank the elites on both sides because they did not manage to get along in their greed for power. Just ask around in Ukraine or Syria, those people already know.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2018, 05:51:06 am by Evil Knievel »
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7817 on: March 18, 2018, 07:29:15 am »

PS: and martinuzz, I know the feeling that someone else seems to be bought on the internet very well, but I assure you it is not the case with me. I just read a lot of Noam Chomsky in the past, who undoubtly inspired a lot of sceptisicm in me (still recommend), I grew up discussing with my children friends how the nuclear war would wipe us all out and how our country would be defended by our allies bombing it into oblivion to stop the advancing soviet troops. Also,
I mostly only post when I have an opinion that would piss people off.

Fair enough. I am aware of Chomsky. I even used to be known for excessively quoting him  :D
Although I have to say I do not agree with him on everything he says.

My posts also don't have 'pleasing the crowd' as their prime objective. I wouldn't say I post to piss people off though, that's just not a good reason to post.
Nothing wrong with trying to incite people to pause and think about a subject by inserting an unfavourable opinion though.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2018, 07:35:38 am by martinuzz »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7818 on: March 18, 2018, 09:33:04 am »

Maybe in this case, Putin is doing it. Overall, I suspect that the project Cold War II is driven from East AND West likewise (Syria looks like a proxy war to me).
On this I agree. Everyone is familiar with Russian security apparatus being in control of the state, but similar influence is largely ignored, unknown or even supported in Western countries. CIA agents employed by Trump to be senior ministers, CIA operatives proudly running their credentials to run for office, jeopardizing their political impartiality - and bringing their particular views on US pre-eminence and how to maintain that hegemony on the world stage (which despite its claims of stability, usually entails destabilizing every country which moves towards a multipolar world), shit's rather fucked.

I was looking for that. True, the UK said to provide samples, but there is no mention whether the UK has called for an investigation. As far as I could find out, this is unknown at present.
Quote
The UK government has asked the OPCW to investigate the use of novichok in the attempted murder of the Russian former spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia in Salisbury. Theresa May said in a Commons statement on Wednesday: “We are working with the police to enable the OPCW to independently verify our analysis.”
Well they didn't exactly send the sample to be a museum piece :P

Sorry Loud Whispers.
Let's see now how the investigation goes!
No worries fam

PS: and martinuzz, I know the feeling that someone else seems to be bought on the internet very well, but I assure you it is not the case with me.
At least paid shills aren't doing it for free lol, but that's another thing entirely

I grew up discussing with my children friends how the nuclear war would wipe us all out and how our country would be defended by our allies bombing it into oblivion to stop the advancing soviet troops.
Glory of freedom bombing! But this is a rather interesting conundrum, particularly since I heard it both ways. Of the French who believed that NATO would prefer USSR occupation of Europe to a nuclear war, of the German who believed that occupation by the USSR would be preferable to its vigorous defence - would the gulag leave more survivors?

I am surprised, I have not perceived the UK media or the UK government being too critical of itself.
UK media is critical of the UK government, but not critical of UK media. The UK government is critical of its internal opposition, but not when mutual crimes are involved. Too much of both UK media and UK government hold much of the UK people in disregard, and at times even contempt :<

I'd say between states moral standards are only important to the point over which someone could lose their job (which is one use of shady agencies).
As an aside, between states moral standards are of paramount importance. States exist for as long as people believe in the moral superiority of the state, especially if it has been divorced from the institutions of the past. Remove moral superiority, remove historical institutions, and all you have left is force, and that's when things fall apart

This is one possibility, and if it is the truth I completely agree with you, but it may also be what you are made to believe. At present, I do not think you need to be a conspiracy theorist to see how other scenarios also have at least moderate plausability. Never forget the last time Nato was dragged into a war based on lies, there even was fabricated evidence. You can believe what you want of course, but if you really wonder what the truth is, I'd suggest to wait a bit more.
The spreading of disinformation by Russian media apparatus or their ministries suggests to me that it'd be foolish to attribute equal probabilities to which is true. Without evidence of a false flag or mafia hit, Putin's disinformation and threats to defectors speaks volumes.

I fear you are right. I think it is terrifying to live in such a situation with a direct neighbour and if a cold war turns too hot, it will be good for the UK to be an island, but it won't help continental Europe. However, as implied before, I think the actions of Nato are equally responsible for this mess as is Putin's behaviour, and the reason in the background is an overlap in the respective desired spheres of influence. Russia has interests beyond its borders and Nato's interests end no earlier than Russia's borders.
No point fearing a hot war tbh, Russia is much too outgunned by its neighbours. It'd have a tough time dealing with its security concerns in Finland, Poland, Ukraine and China before you factor in any of the major powers like Italy or Germany, never mind France or the UK. And this is obviously ignoring the American juggernaut. The actions Putin has taken has benefited him, allowing him to borrow the language of a superpower. Why else does he talk so much of his nuclear arsenal? It is a yearn for prestige lost with the collapse of the USSR, a desire to recapture it without provoking conflict with so many foes. Furthermore, it should seem readily apparent how self-defeating Russia's foreign policy is if it wished to avoid NATO encroachment. The nations joining NATO or the European alliances, are banding together voluntarily because they fear Russian invasion. Waging war against your neighbours to stop them from joining alliances against you is only providing a bigger list of reasons why they should seek protection against you. The UK's status as an island is only useful in so far as maritime defence is assured; the English channel is very narrow, D-Days can go both ways. Should the continent fall, the islands would be in a rather perilous position, thus I don't think the Eastern Europeans need fear anything but the ineptitude of our Prime Ministers when it comes to defence commitments.

Yes and no, as I already said above. I think we are in a cold war-like phase and both sides act correspondingly. And if there will be a war, countries are being destroyed and people are dying and both sides won't care about them, we can thank the elites on both sides because they did not manage to get along in their greed for power. Just ask around in Ukraine or Syria, those people already know.
While lamenting the pointless destruction of Syria, I do think Ukraine is a poor example. While I further disagree with the employment of revolutions as a useful tool for advancement, or in the support of revolutions supported by particularly potent Westerners, Yanukovych's corruption was extraordinary even for an ex-Soviet nation and his strategy was alike Russia's - being useful only for alienating the majority of people by turning an ally into a common enemy. It's how you turn a country such as Ukraine, the birthplace of Russian civilization, from a populace pro-Russia into a populace inviting NATO and the EU to its borders.

Cyroth

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7819 on: March 18, 2018, 10:11:52 am »

*snip* before you factor in any of the major powers like Italy or Germany, *snip*

Listing germany as a major power is kinda funny. We may be in terms of economics, but germany has no military to speak of.
We own something like 250 MBTs, of which about 90 are actually working (more or less, they might still break if you tried to actually move them), about a dozen semi-obsolescent ships (a mix of frigates and corvettes) held together with duct tape and 6 submarines of which none were seaworthy back in january.
One of my stepdads friends was a Oberfeldwebel (Bundeswehr NCO), until a few years ago, and he jokes that in an emergency his unit would have had to do it like the soviets back in WW2, because they usually had more people then useable rifles.

The whole of germany could probably be invaded by a single american redneck village.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7820 on: March 18, 2018, 10:19:14 am »

Germany and Italy are unofficial minor nuclear powers as per the NATO nuclear sharing policy
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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7821 on: March 18, 2018, 10:36:54 am »

@LW: I thought Muscovy was the birthplace of Russian civilization? At least that's where the modern state of Russia began.
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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7822 on: March 18, 2018, 11:14:03 am »

It's not called "Kievan Rus" for no reason. Moscow might be the birthplace of a unified Russian state, but Kiev is the birthplace of the notion of a Russian state in the first place.
And to add, the first of the Rurikids, Rurik himself, made their home in Novgorod/Holmgard, which became the second-most-important city of the Rus before the republic.  Moscow is a Johnny-come-lately, risen from a minor princely state as taxmen for the Mongols and parleying that into dominance over the northern Russian states. 
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7823 on: March 18, 2018, 04:14:11 pm »

Meanwhile the Germans are faced with what is possibly the most catastrophic construction project ever.
In 2011, Berlin was supposed to open a new airport.
But because of construction errors, missed deadlines, fired project leaders and other troubles, Berlin still doesn't have a new airport.

Lufthansa chairman Thorsten Dirks stirred up a small riot today when he commented that 'BER construction site will have to be completely torn down and built anew, because the materials used in it's construction have aged too much'.

Lufthansa later came with a press release stating thet Dirks didn't mean it literally.
He was exaggerating, but there is some foundation for his comment: the 750 large monitors that are spread around the building will need to be replaced, because their technology is too far behind.

The project was initially estimated to cost 2 billion euros.
So far, 7 billion euros have been spent. The new opnening date for the airport has been set to october 2020, but experts already say that this deadline cannot be met either.

The German media have redubbed Flughafen Berlin Brandenburg 'Germany's most expensive contruction pit'.
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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7824 on: March 19, 2018, 08:34:07 pm »

Quote
I think the actions of Nato are equally responsible for this mess as is Putin's behaviour, and the reason in the background is an overlap in the respectiv
I’m curious to know which NATO actions are responsible for the deployment of Russian chemical weapons against civilians in the UK, in detail, with a list of specific reasons and explanations beyond “the Russians are scaredy scaredy that nato moved some armies back into the border countries after Russia invaded yet another small nation”.

Every step of the way the growing tension is caused by Russian aggression, Russian hostility, and a Russian basic fucking refusal to play ball with the rest of the western world.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7825 on: March 22, 2018, 02:34:52 pm »

Poland now claims 685 billion euros from Germany for damages done between 1939 and 1945.
Polish minister of Foreign Affairs Jacek Czaputowicz stated that the formal request will follow this year.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7826 on: March 22, 2018, 04:10:17 pm »

Poland now claims 685 billion euros from Germany for damages done between 1939 and 1945.
Polish minister of Foreign Affairs Jacek Czaputowicz stated that the formal request will follow this year.

Didn't Germany already finish paying reparations decades ago?
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7827 on: March 22, 2018, 04:20:23 pm »

Not exactly. A deal was made after ww2. Poland now says they weren't part of that deal, because it was Soviet Poland that signed it. The deal was originally made in 1953, made again in 1970, and renewed again after the Berlin Wall went down.

After the war, the liberated countries and their allies realized all too well that making Germany pay war reparations would leave Germany a third world country, which would have negatively affected all European economies, and would probably have lead to a ww3 sooner than later (because resentment over war reparations after ww1 was one of the main reasons Hitler rose to power so easily). So deals were made which released Germany of most or all inter-state post war debt (and in fact, many European and US millions were pumped into the West-german economy after the war to help turn it into the economic powerhouse it is now).

Let's just say that if that deal was never made, Poland would most likely still be Soviet Poland now.

Private persons have claimed damages from Germany though. Germany paid 9.2 billion euros in personal damages, of which 1.6 billion went to Polish claimants.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2018, 04:25:31 pm by martinuzz »
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7828 on: March 22, 2018, 05:39:13 pm »

After the war, the liberated countries and their allies realized all too well that making Germany pay war reparations would leave Germany a third world country,

And in typical German fashion they are now returning the favour by turning Greece into a third world country over debts. Go Germany!
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7829 on: March 22, 2018, 06:30:48 pm »

After the war, the liberated countries and their allies realized all too well that making Germany pay war reparations would leave Germany a third world country,
And in typical German fashion they are now returning the favour by turning Greece into a third world country over debts. Go Germany!
And here the UK only finished paying off its WWI debt 3 years ago and is still paying off its WWII debt. Turns out you can set the world on fire, lose, have everyone pay you for burning the world, then use that money to buy everyone who defeated you xD
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