Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 135 136 [137] 138 139 ... 795

Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1098579 times)

Antioch

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2040 on: May 04, 2016, 07:27:28 am »

Powerful democracy is not desired

Yes it is, I'd rather have democratically elected governments decide things than undemocratic companies.
Logged
You finish ripping the human corpse of Sigmund into pieces.
This raw flesh tastes delicious!

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2041 on: May 04, 2016, 07:35:03 am »

Desired by you
Not by yEU

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2042 on: May 04, 2016, 07:37:17 am »

In response to the NATO's announcement of strenghtening their presence in the Baltic and other states bordering Russia with 4000 troops, the Russian defense minister Shoigu has announced that the Russian army will be expanded by 3 full divisions, which will be stationed along the western and southern borders of Russia, to "counter the growing force of NATO units near the Russian border". The formation of the three divisions should be expected to be complete before the end of the year.

Damn, troop buildup for real. Not good. Putin please don't start ww3.
http://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/rusland-kondigt-drie-nieuwe-divisies-aan-als-reactie-op-groeiende-kracht-navo~a4294655/

EDIT: In other news, the Dutch Intelligence Service (AIVD) has announced that it will lower the minimum age at which Dutch citizens who have gone to and returned from Syria will be considered as real terrorist threat to 9 years. Acording to their research, IS puts boys in military training camps starting at age 9, where they are trained in handling blades and firearms, and practice executions, and made to swear allegiance to Abru Bakr al-Baghdadi.

For girls, 9 is the age when they start getting lessons in "how to assist their future husband in armed conflict", and also the age at which they have to start wearing a niqab.

According to the AIVD "this makes it so that we have to regard 9 year old returnees as just as much of a threat to public safety in the Netherlands as adults".
In practice this means that henceforth, such children will be registered, monitored, and their data will be shared with foreign intelligence.

At this time, it is estimated that 250 Dutch citizens have travelled to Syria, of whom 42 have been killed, and 40 have returned to the Netherlands. AIVD estimates that about 70 Dutch children are in Syria.

Child Rights department of justice has not reacted yet, but I expect that there'll be some ruckus, mostly about the 'share info about minors with foreign intelligence service' part.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2016, 07:52:39 am by martinuzz »
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

ChairmanPoo

  • Bay Watcher
  • Send in the clowns
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2043 on: May 04, 2016, 09:41:37 am »

Powerful democracy is not desired

Yes it is, I'd rather have democratically elected governments decide things than undemocratic companies.
Speak for yourself! I'd rather have powerful dictators telling me what to do and what to think! The feeling of irresponsability that accompanies this is truly liberating.
Logged
Everyone sucks at everything. Until they don't. Not sucking is a product of time invested.

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2044 on: May 04, 2016, 09:45:24 am »

They're stationing 30.000 soldiers - among them 10.000 destined for the south of Russia, which isn't near the Baltics at all - as reaction to 4.000 NATO soldiers? Either the West has Terminator-tier technology, or this is the ultimate piece of evidence that Russia is to blame for the current escalation.
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2045 on: May 04, 2016, 10:02:28 am »

In response to the NATO's announcement of strenghtening their presence in the Baltic and other states bordering Russia with 4000 troops, the Russian defense minister Shoigu has announced that the Russian army will be expanded by 3 full divisions, which will be stationed along the western and southern borders of Russia, to "counter the growing force of NATO units near the Russian border". The formation of the three divisions should be expected to be complete before the end of the year.

Damn, troop buildup for real. Not good. Putin please don't start ww3.
http://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/rusland-kondigt-drie-nieuwe-divisies-aan-als-reactie-op-groeiende-kracht-navo~a4294655/
DO IT
DO IT
DI UT
UNLEASH THE MANCRAB

Funny how that works. Russia does snap exercises on their border so NATO sends four battalions to their NATO border then Russia sends four battalions to their border. Only thing I really give a shit about is that 2 are Murrican, 1 is Britbong, the other 1 is German. GERMANY HAS A (not) MILITARY AGAIN
BRING OUT THE PARTY POPPERS
Congrats Germanbros, pls do not try to exterminate yuropoors with your new responsibilities

Child Rights department of justice has not reacted yet, but I expect that there'll be some ruckus, mostly about the 'share info about minors with foreign intelligence service' part.
And let foreigners get avoidably blown up by babby's first jihad?

They're stationing 30.000 soldiers - among them 10.000 destined for the south of Russia, which isn't near the Baltics at all - as reaction to 4.000 NATO soldiers? Either the West has Terminator-tier technology, or this is the ultimate piece of evidence that Russia is to blame for the current escalation.
Western military is more modern and superior to Russian one, gorillion folded german steel deflect all nuclear missiles

In all seriousness Russia has little choice in the matter unless they can diplomatically secure NATO deescalation alongside their own, otherwise they leave themselves open
Also Helgo this is a very easy way to kill Russia. If they put all their troops facing the Baltics, where are their troops not?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Not defending the South, from which they have much less strategic depth (and ground to lose) and their supply lines to the East can be entirely fucked, leading to the collapse of their whole country. So they sent their troops to defend the most likely invasion points, enough to show they are committed. Likewise NATO has done the right thing to show they are committed to defending the Baltics. From here, stalemate. Consider that Muricans want a fourfold increase in European defence budget by 2017 and in Feb alone we had 40k NATO lads milling about, the Russian 30k seems lesser in comparison

Don't be retarded and turn it into a blame game, we're being progressive and having a constructive dialogue m9
I know how gay that sounds but WWIII is quite unnecessary

Sergarr

  • Bay Watcher
  • (9) airheaded baka (9)
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2046 on: May 04, 2016, 10:44:52 am »

They're stationing 30.000 soldiers - among them 10.000 destined for the south of Russia, which isn't near the Baltics at all - as reaction to 4.000 NATO soldiers? Either the West has Terminator-tier technology, or this is the ultimate piece of evidence that Russia is to blame for the current escalation.
Dude, like everyone knows you have to have an overwhelming numerical advantage to just slow down the proud guardians of Gondor with mere Orcs. It's common knowledge that the real threat of the Mordor Empire lies in terrible darkest majyyks (or "temn'yeishi'e iskus'stva", in the native language of Mordor) that their top-tier magicians wield, and the power they hold over lesser minds. NATO troopers are obviously heavily resistant to that sort of attack, so the Temn'ye overlords need some time before they can conjure ballistic spells powerful enough to demolish the invading Host of Light.

I mean, haven't you studied magical history? Everyone knows that Stalin, after losing the favour of Rasputin and his coven of terrible dark magician ghosts, was forced to rely on incompetent technomancer novices and mass ritual sacrifices to maintain the mass enslavement spells. It was only after his death that the Darkest Academies of Mordor have managed to produce and/or steal enough knowledge to entice and trap spirits within lead coffins and, through radiation-induced torture, generate enough Temn'ye energy without having to kill a few million people every year.

Of course, after the Forces of Free Nations have launched a Spear of Light in 1986, killing two USSR leaders in one year and destroying a vital chain in the link of nuclear Dark Energy reactors in Pripyat', the spells could no longer be sustained, and the Mordor temporarily fell into ruin of Free Light; that being said, the Temn'ye Iskus'stva were persistent enough to survive even after that catastrophic event, and, as we can see now, the new Darkest Academies are working full-stop to produce new practitioners of Darkness and new terrible arts (did you really think that electromagnetic interference pods are being powered by mere mortal physics?) are being invented every years, and with the strategic supply of old desecrated graves renewed with the brutal conquest of Crimean peninsula, the future looks dark indeed.
Logged
._.

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2047 on: May 04, 2016, 10:49:59 am »

That was either beautiful, or worrisome.

I hope you are not under electronic surveillance by the KGB, and can only post fiction to circumvent that  ;D
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

miljan

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2048 on: May 04, 2016, 10:56:32 am »

They're stationing 30.000 soldiers - among them 10.000 destined for the south of Russia, which isn't near the Baltics at all - as reaction to 4.000 NATO soldiers? Either the West has Terminator-tier technology, or this is the ultimate piece of evidence that Russia is to blame for the current escalation.
Knowing how much NATO and its members are aggressive in the last two decades. Better have huge number advantage to be sure and keep NATO in check, so they dont do anything funny.
Logged
Make love not war

Egan_BW

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2049 on: May 04, 2016, 11:18:08 am »

They're stationing 30.000 soldiers - among them 10.000 destined for the south of Russia, which isn't near the Baltics at all - as reaction to 4.000 NATO soldiers? Either the West has Terminator-tier technology, or this is the ultimate piece of evidence that Russia is to blame for the current escalation.
I like to think that they're all space marines.
Logged
Not true, cannot be proven, true but misrepresented.

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2050 on: May 04, 2016, 11:49:31 am »

They're stationing 30.000 soldiers - among them 10.000 destined for the south of Russia, which isn't near the Baltics at all - as reaction to 4.000 NATO soldiers? Either the West has Terminator-tier technology, or this is the ultimate piece of evidence that Russia is to blame for the current escalation.
I like to think that they're all space marines.
We're not at the techno-barbarian stage of mankind yet, though I suppose putting technocrats in charge brings us one step closer to MULTIPLE SIMULTANEOUS DEEP STRIKE

Kot

  • Bay Watcher
  • 2 Patriotic 4 U
    • View Profile
    • Tiny Pixel Soldiers
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2051 on: May 04, 2016, 12:05:43 pm »

It's not because of NATO soldiers.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill.

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2052 on: May 04, 2016, 01:04:23 pm »

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Techno-progressivism
The Omnissiah does not approve of this heresy

Egan_BW

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2053 on: May 04, 2016, 01:18:15 pm »

The flesh is weak, so stick alien technology in it.
Logged
Not true, cannot be proven, true but misrepresented.

BFEL

  • Bay Watcher
  • Tail of a stinging scorpion scourge
    • View Profile
Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #2054 on: May 04, 2016, 02:14:28 pm »

By "medieval Europeans", I meant contemporary with Eastern Roman Empire ones. Medieval European cavalry was better than Eastern Roman one, by a long shot. The Roman cataphracts were actually unable to charge and were basically just a mediocre phalanx with horses, while medieval European knights were unleashing infantry-destroying charges, kicking asses and taking names, only stopped by awesome huge-ass castles of insane strength and durability that would be single-handedly able to stop the entire Western Roman army from doing anything; after all, castles stopped Mongols.

medieval europe >>>>>>>>>>>>> roman empire
Spoiler: Rome Shit (click to show/hide)
Logged
7/10 Has much more memorable sigs but casts them to the realm of sigtexts.

Indeed, I do this.
Pages: 1 ... 135 136 [137] 138 139 ... 795