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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1105224 times)

Ukrainian Ranger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1980 on: April 29, 2016, 03:40:53 pm »

Soviets never did stuff like that because they weren't lucky enough to get Obama-like president in USA.

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Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1981 on: April 29, 2016, 03:54:30 pm »

Did the Russian military watch too much of Top Gun or something?
yes

I know it's the usual Cold War style sabre rattling, but let's be serious here, would the Soviets have pulled off something that brazen?
no because teh soviets were PUSSIES unlike the 100% pure ultranationalist ultracitizenist rusmen

Also, I wonder how Trump would react to that kind of stuff?
he would strike a deal with russia

i mean what else he could do

it's not like anyone in the USA military would actually follow his orders to engage or anything
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Orange Wizard

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1982 on: April 29, 2016, 07:43:10 pm »

If Trump actually goes to war with Russia I'll be very upset.
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Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1983 on: April 29, 2016, 07:54:38 pm »

Actually, just gimme the VdL/Merkel combo as Vader/Palpatine, and I'll die a happy man.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1984 on: April 29, 2016, 08:58:09 pm »

I always thought picking a woman for minister of defense was a brilliant move. Any IS fighter killed by our forces will be defeated by a woman. If I understand correctly, they believe they won't go to paradise if defeated by a woman.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

God bless the godless Soviets for having flooded the world with their weapons

If Trump actually goes to war with Russia I'll be very upset.
Donald Trump's foreign policy speech earns praise in Russia
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Putin recently called Trump "a brighter person, talented without a doubt." Trump returned the compliment saying: "I like him because he called me a genius. He said Trump is the real leader."
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Baffler

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1985 on: April 29, 2016, 09:50:49 pm »

I always thought picking a woman for minister of defense was a brilliant move. Any IS fighter killed by our forces will be defeated by a woman. If I understand correctly, they believe they won't go to paradise if defeated by a woman.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

God bless the godless Soviets for having flooded the world with their weapons

And God bless ISIS for being a bunch of primitives. If that isn't just propaganda, which I suppose wouldn't surprise me.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1986 on: April 30, 2016, 03:21:24 am »

Of course Putin likes Trump. Jingoist demagoges have to stick together...
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Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1987 on: April 30, 2016, 03:48:40 am »

Of course Putin likes Trump. Jingoist demagoges have to stick together...
Counter-example: Erdogan.

lol that was easy.

no but really, the reason why Putin likes Trump is that Trump single-handedly destroyed USA's political system and that's good because USA is our opponent on the geosphere

also he probably reminds him of Zhirinovsky
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sprinkled chariot

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1988 on: April 30, 2016, 04:41:33 am »

Who picks the right dictators
The previous dictator. It worked for the Nervan dynasty.
Commodus, yea.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1989 on: April 30, 2016, 05:00:06 am »

Yeah but if Aurelius had a vasectomy before he took office that never would have happened.

I'm only half joking.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1990 on: April 30, 2016, 06:00:12 am »

Who picks the right dictators
The previous dictator. It worked for the Nervan dynasty.
Once more proving that the EU would be 10000% better if it just reformed the Roman Empire already

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1991 on: April 30, 2016, 06:35:16 am »

Who picks the right dictators
The previous dictator. It worked for the Nervan dynasty.
Once more proving that the EU would be 10000% better if it just reformed the Roman Empire already
roman republic >>>>>>>> roman empire

(shots fired)
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1992 on: April 30, 2016, 06:50:20 am »

roman republic >>>>>>>> roman empire

(shots fired)
*Roman Empire integrates refugee warriors
*Roman Empire crushes its trade rivals and negotiates trade deals with Cathay
*Roman Empire builds walls to enforce its external border
*Roman Empire has powerful military with excellent discipline to maintain peace
*Roman Empire has zero tariffs, combining the power of eagles with the free market to fix muh roads
*Roman Empire understands infrastructure strain and how to maintain stability with bread and circuses
*Roman Empire maintains legitimacy by honouring the gods to ensure good corn harvest, no democracy needed
*Roman Empire supports equal rights to everyone being eligible for slavery
*Roman Empire doesn't bother trying to conquer uncivilized slavs in the east, letting them squat in peace
*Roman Empire teaches everyone Latin and Greek so all speak at least one lingua franca, the Empire is united
*Roman Empire teaches powerful merchant classes to respect the Empire or be tortured to death

Orange Wizard

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1993 on: April 30, 2016, 08:06:30 am »

*Roman Empire has zero tariffs, combining the power of eagles with the free market to fix muh roads
Zero tariffs, but they did have a land tax, and later on a fairly primitive income tax. During its expansion, much of Rome's income came from pillaging, sometimes to the point where taxes were unnecessary. This is kinda hard to do in the modern world.
Ironically, the end came alongside decentralised taxation and more powerful nobles/bourgeois.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Teneb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1994 on: April 30, 2016, 08:08:23 am »

Who picks the right dictators
The previous dictator. It worked for the Nervan dynasty.
Once more proving that the EU would be 10000% better if it just reformed the Roman Empire already
roman republic >>>>>>>> roman empire

(shots fired)
It's Res Publica, you barbarian.
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