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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1103167 times)

RedKing

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #615 on: February 02, 2016, 02:49:38 pm »

Seems to be a lot of sensationalist, unverified stories on both sides of the issue. For once, America can point and laugh at Europe when it comes to crappy biased media.
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Egan_BW

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #616 on: February 02, 2016, 03:18:07 pm »

And Canada can continue to laugh at everyone for having issues with immigration.

For now, anyway.
Just wait till we get Trump elected. :P
Totally gonna happen, guys. I can see you shaking in your boots!
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RedKing

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #617 on: February 02, 2016, 03:20:26 pm »

Hey, if even Finland is having a migrant crisis, its only a matter of time. Hellish cold, bears, and forests obviously aren't a sufficient deterrent.
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

Egan_BW

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #618 on: February 02, 2016, 03:24:49 pm »

The year is 2020. The human race has decided that they don't like the heat after all. The entire population now lives in massive underground cities at the poles.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #619 on: February 02, 2016, 03:25:30 pm »

Seems to be a lot of sensationalist, unverified stories on both sides of the issue. For once, America can point and laugh at Europe when it comes to crappy biased media.
Hahaha no, that's pulling the pin off of a grenade in a glass house

So certain sources are now saying that the story Martin posted about a gang running through central Stockholm and attacking refugee children was partially made up by Aftonbladet, and then this misinformation was spread by all the other news organisations.
A Dutch progresiv reporting on the English progresiv reporting on an English progresiv reporting on the Belgian progresiv downplaying the murder of a Swedish woman at her own refugee centre workplace based off of completely unverified anonymous speculation being made up?

Do you honestly think people would spread misinformation like that? Impossible. Swedish news has proved to be so reliable as of late xD

And in sadder news, rather symbolic of Germany's fate, an Arab refugee got rather angry with some woman after she spurned his generous and gentlemanly advances. When some old pensioners intervened, they got culturally enriched. Where are the young German men?

And Canada can continue to laugh at everyone for having issues with immigration.
For now, anyway.
Trudeau dat, they are so progresiv for the current year, why haven't they taken in millions of immigrants, they sound pretty racist tbh.

Dorsidwarf

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #620 on: February 02, 2016, 03:32:41 pm »

[Immigrates maliciously]
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Antioch

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #621 on: February 02, 2016, 03:35:53 pm »

Apparently the refugee situation will cost Germany around 50 billion euros in 2016-2017

Now I still hold that for 50 billion we could have easily supported Jordania Lebanon and Turkey into improving the refugee situation there (and the majority IS STILL THERE in abysmal conditions now)  and solved the issue locally.

http://www.rp-online.de/politik/deutschland/fluechtlinge-kosten-deutschland-50-milliarden-euro-aid-1.5732479
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #622 on: February 02, 2016, 03:45:43 pm »

Apparently the refugee situation will cost Germany around 50 billion euros in 2016-2017

Now I still hold that for 50 billion we could have easily supported Jordania Lebanon and Turkey into improving the refugee situation there (and the majority IS STILL THERE in abysmal conditions now)  and solved the issue locally.

http://www.rp-online.de/politik/deutschland/fluechtlinge-kosten-deutschland-50-milliarden-euro-aid-1.5732479
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The previous estimate went from 2,000,000,000 euros to 16-17,000,000,000 euros, now 50,000,000,000 euros?

I cannot believe how consistently I am guilty of downplaying this ruin o_O

SPEED IT UP, ACCELERATIONISM IS KING KAISER

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #623 on: February 02, 2016, 03:59:06 pm »

The previous estimate went from 2,000,000,000 euros to 16-17,000,000,000 euros, now 50,000,000,000 euros?

I cannot believe how consistently I am guilty of downplaying this ruin o_O

SPEED IT UP, ACCELERATIONISM IS KING KAISER
Perhaps 2 billion is for sheltering the refugees, the other 48 billion for psychological counselling for rape victims? German shrinks don't come cheap.
[/sarcasm]
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SirQuiamus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #624 on: February 02, 2016, 04:03:41 pm »

Hey, if even Finland is having a migrant crisis, its only a matter of time. Hellish cold, bears, and forests obviously aren't a sufficient deterrent.
(I know you jest, but for those who can't into geography)

« Last Edit: February 02, 2016, 04:05:15 pm by SirQuiamus »
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #625 on: February 04, 2016, 05:09:09 pm »

So it turns out terrible people can be produced by countries with a terrible moral system.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #626 on: February 04, 2016, 09:59:42 pm »

I've always wondered why people are shocked that when there's a dramatic spike in a micropopulation, that crimes done by said micropopulation also dramatically spikes. Now, it's arguable that the spike in crime is disproportionate to the spike in the micropopulation, but I'll wait on data on that topic before coming to any conclusions.
They're probably shocked because they live in homogeneous communities waving diverse enrichment flags with all sense of risk assessment having dulled into nothingness from having lived a life without being so much as punched in the face by a cheeki breeki lad, such miraculous lands where the greatest threat to society are stray cat ladies or natural aristocrat chemsex orgies having broken out of their containment cells. Like Rome, before and after German barbarians set everything on fire, only without Rome's sense of threat assessment - a Rome of pure safety where everything is coated in safe spaces of fluffy insulation, where the harsh cold weather is made redundant by Grandma's sweet cookies, woolen sweaters, and problematic liberties given way to muh like, muh toleran, everything is good and EPIC. Golden retriever girls happily cheering to signal they are the most moral saviour of the oppressed subhumans, gazelles reaching up to kiss the lion even as they lambast the buffalo for being a predator, just as a guppy mocks a carp to prove it is the most virile, only with less sense and even worse memory. Whilst walking through this soulless street of mine, which once others called their own, I was accosted by a self-described 'meme slut' who thought we should give the British of the Falklands to the sons of Spanish conquistadors, that we should disband our military even as it broke the siege of Mt. Sinjar, that we should destroy the capital for its sheer capitalist capital in order to make room for refugees housed in all houses not her own (for indeed she owned none). I could only utter that true memes support Israel, and eloped to eat free Nandos in the horrid sight of a moustached-woman, who in truth was more a man with long hair, only with zero character of a man, having never worked a single day or shaved a single hair on its head.

Micropopulations are micro. There are less of them. Less than the density of moustache hairs upon this genderfluid stray cat lady. This is such a quantity that it has already made majorities of broken Swedish cities, and I long for the day when I am able to make puns of international Stockholm syndrome. This is a quantity that is far more akin to the hairs of blue-dyed armpit trees, waving forth from bingo wings flapped like South American birds, grown fat from a lack of predators - this is known as island gigantism. Simply put this is like calling the Chinese minorities even when there are billions of them, they are only minorities to privileged white Americans.

If you can't tell, all this talk about the worst of humankind is exhausting, and makes the mind tire for other topics.


Malaysia and the Swiss are working together to try and find out where billions of dollars from Malaysian state-firms went, with the Malaysian people suspecting their corrupt government of having misappropriated funds. A small amount of this money went to Switzerland, probably up there with missing nazi gold. Switzerland, the USA, Hong Kong and Singapore are investigating. Also the Malaysian-Swiss ambassador died of liver-cancer, which doesn't help things at all. The reason why this has become such a major stress point between Malaysia and Switzerland is because the Malay government wanted to keep this scandal hushed at a time when Malay people were already getting angry about bribes given to government officials and the Swiss said fuck that we're doing it live, wrecking any attempt of the PM's butthole to remain unhurt. That was quite unusually morally studious of the Swiss.

Oh, and David Cameron announced his EU negotiation plan to the UK.
A draft EU deal hailed by David Cameron as delivering "substantial changes" to Britain's relationships with the bloc has been condemned with near unanimity this week, as the press closed in on qualifications and concessions to the Prime Minister's original plan. Chief among disappointments is the number of legislative hurdles that must be passed in order to implement a four-year freeze on in-work benefits for EU migrants, and a new requirement that benefits should increase over time.

New YouGov research for The Times reveals the negative press has pushed Leave significantly ahead, now leading Remain by nine points, up from four last week. It's too early to say if the lead will persist or subside after David Cameron's crunch talks in Brussels on February 18, but after listing the contents of the draft deal and asking how people would vote if the changes are agreed at the meeting Leave's lead falls to three (41% leave, 38% remain).

A new YouGov/Times poll conducted in the immediate aftermath of negative headlines over David Cameron's EU deal has Leave leading with 45% as Remain falls to 36%.

REMOVE CUCKERON, LEAVE HYPE GET

TheDarkStar

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #627 on: February 04, 2016, 10:15:49 pm »

brexit when
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #628 on: February 04, 2016, 10:35:39 pm »

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #629 on: February 04, 2016, 11:30:14 pm »

Hey British ppl, just out of curiosity, how would Hillary Clinton compare to Margaret Thatcher?
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