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Author Topic: Our Salvation: It Is Written  (Read 264272 times)

TopHat

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2130 on: April 08, 2017, 11:11:04 am »

... I have got to try that again.
How about some maps and globes? Come to think of it, I really should look at a map of some sort. I don't even know if the continents are the same here.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2131 on: April 08, 2017, 11:52:13 am »

"Look, good sir.  I have no idea who you are talking about; there was only one man down there when I came through.  But I cannot get up; I have to fly... ride the metal dragons out of here.  To do that, I need to go to Elizabeth.  To do that, I need to go UP.  Now if you just tell me which way to go, I will be gone and you'll never see me again."


Insist.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2132 on: April 10, 2017, 05:25:38 am »

Daniels grins. Time to have a bit of (nonlethal) fun.

Jump up onto the roof and cheerily inform them that they now effectively belong to me. If/when one or more of them clues into the fact that they shouldn't pry into my mind uninvited, inform them of the rather silly way their former master got herself decapitated, and how thusly by Two Shores' decree they're now mine to follow me around and such.

Make sure I'm not too close to the edge of the roof before I start talking.


[A Public Service Announcement: 6]

The two remaining women nearly fall off the roof as you leap upward in a single leap, landing heavily on the gable as you slightly underestimate the height of your jump. They both barely hang on to the roof as they lose their balance and one of them lets off a stream of choice words you're fairly sure a well-behaved young woman shouldn't know under most circumstances. Some of them directed at you, even!

Things do not improve when you inform them of their new state of belonging - well, at least the curses don't abate, though a certain edge to them suddenly disappears as you make clear that you are the new boss. This quiets down further as you relate the unlikely adventure ending in their former mistress' decapitation. At last they're both just staring at you uncomfortably as you stand above them, very clearly lording your position over them.

Oh come on, the less verbose one pipes up, sitting up on the gable as she sorts out her rather long shawl. She only stole like one thing! It wasn't even a very important thing! Have some sympathy, man, she's already had to do a week of this crap, standing on roofs and having the old bat root around her head! She didn't set fire to the storehouse like certain people she could name!

Fuck you, the other one points at her fellow apprentice, that was an accident and you know it! Nobody important died! It was full of stoatmen! She didn't know! It was the most effective thing she could think of at the time! She was only gonna smoke them out, is it really her fault she didn't feel like going into a goddamn raging fire to save all the goods on hand? Wasn't even that big of a storehouse!

Wait, the one with the shawl looks at you, does that mean Pines gets off for all this? She kind of, uh, fell off while Rainbow was away. And then didn't feel like climbing back up.

Don't blame them, the other one says. They told her it was a fucking terrible idea! Rainbow said there'd be, like, consequences if anyone shirked their "training", the crazy old bitch.

"Someone else's robe?! Oh my!" Leif feigns his suprise. "By the way, what's the thing about wearing someone else's robe? And I agree on not enough alcohol part. Especially Lee should have drank more if we are going to do this retracking steps thing properly. Perhaps..." Leif stops to ponder whether he should use DRINK on Lee or not. "Hmm, no. That would be Bad Idea, I think. Entertaining yes, but bad."

Does Earnest have a thing for Lee? Competition, damn it! Ah, but back to the tracks; somebody took the box and is not willing to return it. Why? Because they want it. Why? Because I'm not leaving without it. Someone doesn't want me leaving. Why? Does someone have a thing for me? Goodness, the culprit must be either Lee or the lamplighter (whose name I still don't know)! Secret admirer! Dramatic revelation!

The lamplighter grins at you. Well, when you're wearing somebody else's robe, that's a pretty good sign you were with somebody else and, heh, in a good position to exchange them, know what she's saying? She proceeds to make a drinking motion and several fairly crude gestures.

Earnest sighs and buries his face in his hands. It's probably not like that! It didn't even look like another man's robe, so probably she just borrowed one from a friend while hers was... in the wash, maybe?

Eh, she's fairly sure Lee's into girls anyway, the lamplighter shrugs. Which, if anything, makes this even better. You see how she walked off with May over there? Might be something's going on there. She'd bet on it!

Is this gossiping really helping matters, Earnest brings up and looks around the room. The man with the ball appears to have left with a few bottles. The elder appears to be pretending not to listen to you three chattering to one another.

Elder, says the lamplighter, what're the odds Lee and May went out just then for a round two? Could see it in their eyes, couldn't you?

The elder scratches his chin thoughtfully. Interesting question! Lee's always been a bit peculiar, true enough, and he does recall her going off with someone last night for a bit before coming back and- well, he catches himself, he's sure this is an unproductive line of discussion. Not to mention quite unbecoming of the clan's elder! So he'll head off now! Yes! Lots of business to attend to, you understand. Good to have chatted, truly, and keep an eye on young Bruce over there, he's not got a very good handle on his liquor if you'll pardon him saying so. See you all later!

And with that, the elder also makes a timely exit, leaving just you three and the still-dancing Bruce in the small cave.

You turn to the lamplighter as the conversation seems to have quite solidly died. This is going to sound a bit strange, you say, but what is her name? You don't think you've actually established that and it's awkward calling her a lamplighter in your head.

Oh, she says, hah! Does happen sometimes, don't it? She extends a hand for a shake - her name's Morag! Pleased to, uh, re-meet you or whatever.

Anyway, what were you talking about? Lee going off to snog May again, was it?

... I have got to try that again.
How about some maps and globes? Come to think of it, I really should look at a map of some sort. I don't even know if the continents are the same here.

[Be Our Guest: 4]

Right as rain, when you open your eyes again the rows have been replaced with organized displays of maps of all kinds. Maps of the Tell of the Setting Sun, showing a curious accumulation of buildings and structures over the interminable years. Maps of the Kingdom of the Dead, represented creatively as a giant black hole into which nearby kingdoms slowly sink, a pinprick of white in the center marking the Palace of the Wicked King, the borders marked with the names of states you do not recognize, bordered on the far west by the forever churning sea of deathly light and on the far east by the icy wastes of Queen Makala's Land.

You must say that there's a definite paucity of globes on display. There is, however, a rotating gray cube in one of the display cases, minute mechanical details on it indicating a function not unlike that of a puzzle box - there is also a compass, though the directions on it are unfamiliar, and many maps of landmasses you do not even begin to recognize.

"Look, good sir.  I have no idea who you are talking about; there was only one man down there when I came through.  But I cannot get up; I have to fly... ride the metal dragons out of here.  To do that, I need to go to Elizabeth.  To do that, I need to go UP.  Now if you just tell me which way to go, I will be gone and you'll never see me again."


Insist.

[What Goes Up: 1]

Oh, he says, you want to go to Elizabeth? If it's that important to you then, he'll just kick you off the other end of the ridge then. Elizabeth's right down from there, he's heard.

Well, you say, you're not quite sure you need to be kicked as such, but-

But nothing, he cuts you off. You'll appreciate that this was, whatchamacallit, one of those rhetorical questions. You'll be going down the hill one way or another, matey. Now shut it, he says and pokes you with his spear rather sharply. There's a ways to go and he's got things to do after he's gone and kicked you the feck off the hill.

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Toaster

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2133 on: April 10, 2017, 12:44:33 pm »

Thomas was out of patience at this point.  Was this one of those themed encounters or whatever it was?  "Now look here, sir.  I have been nothing but cordial with you, and you are being rude and threatening.  I'll not have this.  Now stand aside, and I will be going UP, thank you.  As he said this, his hand went toward his sword.

No backing down.  Put hand on sword; draw if things get nasty.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

AoshimaMichio

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2134 on: April 10, 2017, 12:56:48 pm »

"Aha, I have solved this mystery! During exchange of robes Lee must have been too drunk to remember to pick up the box again! The great detective Bruce, investigate May's belongings immediately!" After giving the command Leif turns back to Morag, leaning heavily forwards and whispers in conspiracy tone. "Speaking of drunks, I got something you absolutely want to hear. I found one of those empty caskets you pointed me to, the one Kava was cuddling with. And I refilled it, not with imaginary minder booze, as delicious as that is, but very real, perfect, ideal liquor. Too bad I hid it too well into these tunnels, I completely forgot where I left it..."

Elaborate idea of ideal further. After that, coax Bruce into proper investigative track and keep up with him. Or keep him up if he's too drunk.
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Xantalos

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2135 on: April 10, 2017, 01:57:01 pm »

"Hey, hey, look don't worry, I'm not a minder like her, and in all honesty I don't really care all that much about making you guys stand around on roofs and shit like that. Minder training seems to be really counterproductive for the most part anyway - in all honesty I was expecting you guys to be partway corrupted into ghouls and stuff already. You can go do whatever, just go tell whatever other apprentices Rainbow had about the position change and don't get into trouble unnecessarily. If I need you, I'll come find you."

Daniels fishes out a gold coin from his improbably heavy sack.

"And I'll pay you guys when/if you do things for me. Or do gold coins still not have any  value? That might've just been the castle. I have other stuff in any case."

Obtain underlings' goodwill by offering them an actual better deal?
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2136 on: April 11, 2017, 07:43:59 am »

"Let's just try to talk it over with the party before we start anything."

I give the doctor a shaky thumbs up and start walking South.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2137 on: April 11, 2017, 02:19:44 pm »

Thomas was out of patience at this point.  Was this one of those themed encounters or whatever it was?  "Now look here, sir.  I have been nothing but cordial with you, and you are being rude and threatening.  I'll not have this.  Now stand aside, and I will be going UP, thank you.  As he said this, his hand went toward his sword.

No backing down.  Put hand on sword; draw if things get nasty.

[Things Fall Apart: 2]

He's not about to back down. You draw the sword. In a split second you see the weight of ruinous realization wash over the man like a tidal wave of bricks. The spear trembles in his hands, but it is too late to back down. Not when he's come this far. He stabs!

[In The Interests of Self-Defense: 5 vs. 2]

You step nimbly to one side. The sword arches in your hands as the spear sails past you and the man charges on. You bring it around and it bends purposefully to touch the man in an overreadiness to defend you by any means required. It taps him on the nape of the neck as your feet find the perfect position, guided by instinct. The blade gently sinks into it, and a desperate scream is cut off by a sudden sucking noise.

[Think Fast: 1]

You notice you're staring at a patch of empty air where once there was a man. Not another trace remains. You put the sword away as you wonder what that might have been about. Seemed rather odd.

One will note, however, that these creatures sadly present little of real interest. Shall you continue on? One has heard much of the material to be found not far from here, in delightful Elizabeth.

"Aha, I have solved this mystery! During exchange of robes Lee must have been too drunk to remember to pick up the box again! The great detective Bruce, investigate May's belongings immediately!" After giving the command Leif turns back to Morag, leaning heavily forwards and whispers in conspiracy tone. "Speaking of drunks, I got something you absolutely want to hear. I found one of those empty caskets you pointed me to, the one Kava was cuddling with. And I refilled it, not with imaginary minder booze, as delicious as that is, but very real, perfect, ideal liquor. Too bad I hid it too well into these tunnels, I completely forgot where I left it..."

Elaborate idea of ideal further. After that, coax Bruce into proper investigative track and keep up with him. Or keep him up if he's too drunk.

[The Hunt Is On: 3]

Righty-ho, says Bruce, he'll be all up in May's unmentionables in no time! Detective Bruce is on the job, he adds as he rolls out of the nearby area and off to parts unknown. Morag cheers him on as he disappears from sight.

You think he'll be all right, Earnest asks as the sound of a boy-shaped mass coming to a stop against an unexpected wall emanates from slightly down the hall, followed closely by the unmistakable tones of projectile vomiting.

He's riding a high, says Morag, let the boy have his day! Not that much trouble he could get to around here. Besides, who the hell's in a mood to go watch him? Not her, surely!

Speaking of, you say, and wait a moment to compose what exactly you have to say, then lean in toward Morag. She seems very much interested in this booze you're talking about. You said you can make that? Like, out of nothing? Can't you just make more in that case?

It's complicated, you respond! The Words don't come out right sometimes, you then add. Oh, she says, like that time you blew up the canyon, something like that? Yeah, you say, a lot like that. Maybe? You're a little drunk, she'll have to forgive you.

Okay, says Earnest, can you stop whispering over there? It's a little awkward when he's, like, the only other person in the room. It's not like he can't even hear you when you talk like that, man.

He's right, you say, you've got a boy detective to catch up with! You get up with the other three, and notice that when you've got Earnest to keep you on your feet and Morag to compensate your stumbling you manage to be about one fully mobile human conglomerate. You'll sober up on the way, you confidently lie to yourself before setting off.

[An Inconspicuous Approach: 5]

Some walking, a lot of doing and quite a few mind-shots later you think you've followed the trail of sick to its origin point, a rather messed-up Bruce who, miraculously enough, appears to have found May, the red-headed woman who was at your gathering! Lee too, as it happens. You see both of them in the great chamber, where May is currently keeping Bruce's hair back as he vomits profusely into the bottomless gorge separating both sides of the spacious cavern, Lee watching with complete embarrassment from the sidelines as you approach.

You, Lee says as she sees you. This was all your idea. Why in the world did you- ah. You are completely pissed again. She should have guessed.

Hey now, says Morag! She and you might be drunk, and Lee's kind of hot in a weird sort of way, but the difference is, tomorrow both of you are gonna be sober, and she still won't know where she was going with this sentence.

Don't, uh, mind them, says Earnest in a quiet voice. Lee looks at him, and he visibly freezes for a moment before she looks at you again. You would not be wasting her time again, would you? Have you figured something out about the box? Consulted your... god-things you keep in your head?

"Hey, hey, look don't worry, I'm not a minder like her, and in all honesty I don't really care all that much about making you guys stand around on roofs and shit like that. Minder training seems to be really counterproductive for the most part anyway - in all honesty I was expecting you guys to be partway corrupted into ghouls and stuff already. You can go do whatever, just go tell whatever other apprentices Rainbow had about the position change and don't get into trouble unnecessarily. If I need you, I'll come find you."

Daniels fishes out a gold coin from his improbably heavy sack.

"And I'll pay you guys when/if you do things for me. Or do gold coins still not have any  value? That might've just been the castle. I have other stuff in any case."

Obtain underlings' goodwill by offering them an actual better deal?

The one with the shawl, who you discover is named Day, gasps as you offer a gold coin. You're actually paying them for this? She thought this was just a more humiliating version of the brig and- she is cut off by a sudden jab to the ribs from the other one, apparently named Fires. Fuck this up harder, why don't you, Fires mutters in a threatening voice.

Yeah, they both come to an agreement and nod asynchronously but with great enthusiasm, that'll do just fine for the fortni- week, Day corrects! That'll do them for the week for sure! Each, Fires adds hopefully as you give each of them a gold coin quite nonchalantly and they high-five over their negotiating prowess. And Pines doesn't get shit for not being here, Fires insists. Though they could probably give her a good kicking if you offer, like, a bonus, Day offers enthusiastically. They'll do it for free this first time, Fires says smoothly, just to show you what good minions they are. Sound agreeable?

You shrug. Yeah. You, like, have a shitton of these gold coins. You could probably employ them for life if they wanted that kind of arrangement. Oh shit, Fires says, would you? That'd be kind of awesome, given that there wasn't, strictly speaking, like... you know...

There wasn't a strict expiration date on that whole "let's train you to be minders but not really" thing, Day says a little nervously. Thank fuck that's over though, Fires nods. No no no, Day says and stands up fully on the roof, shaking your hand - thank the boss!

Yeah, Fires nods, shaking your other hand without getting up, thanks for that, new boss man! They'll, like, go and find Pines now and give her that kicking she needs, send her your regards. You're gonna need them, like, soon or what? 'Cause Pines has been fucking asking for it for like-

Let's not trouble the boss, Day raises her hand and throws the shawl once more around her shoulders, he's probably got shi- stuff! Yeah, he's got stuff to do! They'll try to remain visible in case you need them, she says and pats Fires on the head as both of them start climbing down the roof after slipping a coin each into their pockets. They make it down and halfway down the alleyway as you loom on the rooftop dramatically, chattering to each other excitedly and occasionally shoving each other as they get into microscopic arguments.

"Let's just try to talk it over with the party before we start anything."

I give the doctor a shaky thumbs up and start walking South.

Having bathed and composed yourselves, you find that the way south is quite clear. Very clear, in fact. Leaving the crater of the manor house and the busy forest behind, you walk through Anglefork Town. You see Oggie remain watchful of your surroundings. Something in the air, she grumbles. Familiar, dusty, awful. Dangerously sweet.

[The Way Home: 3]

You're not sure how long the queen's men were here, but two things are clear - they definitely took everything of value that was present here and probably burned much of the rest, judging from the sheer number of charred ruins present, and they also look to have been downright fastidious in disposing of any bodies in the area. As you head through the streets and along the outer roads, there is no sign of life - just rubble, ruin and collapsed buildings all the way, wind whistling through them as the place doesn't so much stand as hang completely deserted and empty, seemingly on the brink of collapse all on its own.

You continue on along the road, and it's a fairly friendly road at that as you walk the 10 or so miles it takes to reach the inn you visited previously. The doctor falls behind every now and then, not in the best of shapes following that explosion, but you make good time regardless, and it feels a lot like the afternoon when you've come once more to the inn. Its windows are unlit, but it does look like the fire in there is still going strong, judging from the smoke.

Oh god, an inn, the doctor says. It's been a really long day, if you don't mind her saying so. She thinks a really long rest would be just the thing. Oggie looks at you, sniffing the air and gently grinning with her unnervingly round teeth. That smell, she says. Ominous. Like murder and theft. Familiar things once. Synesthetic, but refreshingly clear. Obvious, even.

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« Last Edit: April 11, 2017, 02:24:37 pm by Harry Baldman »
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Toaster

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2138 on: April 11, 2017, 05:51:50 pm »

Huh.  Weird.  Odd bit of stagecraft, but it must have been one of those propped fights.  Not bad work on the vanish.

Well, no matter.  There's a ridge to climb.
  "Shall we, sword?"  Oh right, the others.

"Helloooooo!  The kicker's gone now!  The way is clear!  Come on, everyone!"

Try to signal the others that it's safe to come up now.  Maybe gesture dramatically with the sword before putting it away.

Wait for them if they're on their way, but don't if they don't come right away; we need to be going.




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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Xantalos

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2139 on: April 12, 2017, 12:32:01 am »

"If ya wanna tussle with this Pines that's fine, but don't necessarily beat her with sanctions from me or whatever. If you do find her, could you send her to me though? I wanna talk to her, haven't seen her yet I don't think. I'll be in the mess hall kitchen thing."

With this add-in hopefully having been delivered before they go out of earshot, Daniels decides to go check on his juggler's foot order.

Go check on my food.
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2140 on: April 12, 2017, 12:50:01 am »

"Yes! I mean no, I haven't consulted gods because they too were totally wasted at time of crime, but yes, we have figured out that May may possibly be in possession of the box, but thanks to being as shitfaced as everybody else she doesn't actually remember that being the case. So we were on our way to... to... to investigate! Yes! Investigate! Detective Bruce, get your shit together!"

"I could be wrong about this, but then again I ain't sober. And I'm not seeing the box in your hands either so you can't judge me. Bruce. Us."


Investigate! Judge!
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TopHat

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2141 on: April 12, 2017, 10:46:42 am »

That is truly brilliant. Only problem is that I have no way of knowing how outdated any of these are.
Let's have a closer look at some of those regional maps. Any features which immediately stick out?
Hey, wait a minute, is that sea of light right where Anglefork should be?

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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2142 on: April 12, 2017, 04:21:24 pm »

Huh.  Weird.  Odd bit of stagecraft, but it must have been one of those propped fights.  Not bad work on the vanish.

Well, no matter.  There's a ridge to climb.
  "Shall we, sword?"  Oh right, the others.

"Helloooooo!  The kicker's gone now!  The way is clear!  Come on, everyone!"

Try to signal the others that it's safe to come up now.  Maybe gesture dramatically with the sword before putting it away.

Wait for them if they're on their way, but don't if they don't come right away; we need to be going.


There's a bit of brush in the way between you and the actual top of the ridge, but nobody sees fit to stop you as you eventually make it to where you can see your delightful friends roughly 150 feet down from where you began climbing.

[Oh Won't You Come With Me: 4]

You are quite pleased to note when it appears that most of them are still down there, if a little far from you. You decide to shout very loudly down to them and flash your sword in the air to signify that the top is quite clear and they have nothing to worry about being kicked the feck off anymore, as you believe you've definitely solved that problem!

Rather pleasingly they even appear to have understood you, and begin climbing in short order. Seems like they'll be up in a bit, of course. 150 feet is something on the order of... well, you do believe it's something like 15 stories of climbing, slight alcove on the way notwithstanding. Maybe you should go along and look into-

[Safe Passage: 6]

You turn around and observe something of an interesting scene - seven men, you think, perhaps more in the thick undergrowth that you can see, all slowly creeping up on you from behind. They freeze up suddenly as you look in their direction and get low to the ground, hoping against hope that perhaps you didn't see them as they clutch their spears to their chests.

"If ya wanna tussle with this Pines that's fine, but don't necessarily beat her with sanctions from me or whatever. If you do find her, could you send her to me though? I wanna talk to her, haven't seen her yet I don't think. I'll be in the mess hall kitchen thing."

With this add-in hopefully having been delivered before they go out of earshot, Daniels decides to go check on his juggler's foot order.

Go check on my food.

[Minions At Law: 6]

That totally works! Good thinking boss, they'll let her know the score, Day says! And then send her your way at some point!

Probably after they've beaten the shit out of her for leaving them in the lurch like that, Fires adds! Can't brook insubordination like that, new boss! Pines gets real fuckin' antsy if she doesn't get her regular beating for being such a bitch! True fact!

But they'll let her know it was your idea to not beat her down too badly, boss, Day hastens to add in a loud voice! Have a good, uh, lunch and stuff! They'll not break any bones or anything, all right? And try not to leave bruises either! They had a system worked out for that, she'll show you later! Their voices grow more distant and then fade from earshot as they disappear from sight.

[A Consignment of Suspicious Bacon: 3]

You jump down and head over to the tavern. Or is it an inn? Possibly more of a cafeteria, or even a delicatessen now that you think about it. You jump over there (Hornsweir is a blissfully small place at times) and land heavily in front, then stride confidently in and bother one of the white-smocked cooks about the juggler's foot you had them prepare.

Rather regrettably it seems making all of that will take a while - juggler's foot is a tad involved to create out of the materials involved. And the feast, oh my, that's taking quite a lot of their attention as well. You look around at some of the fruits of their labor - colored dessert spheres of unknown composition (planet-cakes, apparently), a variety of unfamiliar roasts smelling up a storm of mouth-watering aromas (locally sourced, you hear, which makes you wonder about the wildlife they get around here), and what look to be the makings of an absolutely legendary vat of coffee brewing in a particularly far corner.

They'll have your snacks ready by the morning, one of the cooks says as he renders a roast six-winged creature into a fine paste as he stirs it into a vat that stinks of lye. Fret not! As an employee of relative distinction you may take advantage of the culinary arts available with no additional cost!

Though they would certainly appreciate a donation, the other cook smiles as you notice that one of the roasts, while very much nicely done and already mostly garnished, nevertheless appears to have two arms, two legs and a very familiar-looking set of claws.

"Yes! I mean no, I haven't consulted gods because they too were totally wasted at time of crime, but yes, we have figured out that May may possibly be in possession of the box, but thanks to being as shitfaced as everybody else she doesn't actually remember that being the case. So we were on our way to... to... to investigate! Yes! Investigate! Detective Bruce, get your shit together!"

"I could be wrong about this, but then again I ain't sober. And I'm not seeing the box in your hands either so you can't judge me. Bruce. Us."


Investigate! Judge!

[The Process of Elimination: 2]

You get the feeling Lee does in fact intend to fully judge you for this as she listens in bemusement to your explanation. Morag occasionally jeering at her doesn't seem to be helping her mood any. She looks at Bruce still vomiting wildly into the gorge, then goes up to the still-busy May.

Ahem, she says between the purging noises, May, do you have a brass box in your possession that you have not noticed before now? Possibly on account of being too hungover to notice that she's wearing the wrong robe, Morag shouts from your position.

[A Terrible Misunderstanding: 6]

May looks down at herself as the question is posed. What? Don't be silly, she-

Her eyes flash with sudden recognition as she notices her robe appears to be a little small. She looks at Lee, then at Morag, and finally at you (Earnest she appears perfectly content to ignore). Then back at Lee, and squints slightly.

She has no idea what you might possibly be talking about, she says. She is a married woman who wouldn't do anything your crude and unsubstantiated comments would so freely imply, and frankly resents the accusations you have unfoundedly leveled against her now and in the past. In fact, she would very much prefer it if none of you ever speak of any of this ever again.

Having said all that, she pushes Bruce's face into a depression in the nearby terrain with one hand and waits for the vomit to pool up to his ears before turning toward Lee again, apologetically fumbling around her robe. Where did she-

Secret pocket, says Lee. You have to unfold it- on second thought, she will do it herself. She walks up to May and helps her a few moments in fumbling around the robe until, finally, the small brass alchemist's box clatters to the ground.

Okay, says May. She motions for Lee to take a walk with her slightly out of sight. Lee tosses you the box nonchalantly and comes with readily. Oooh, Morag coos at the two of them. May responds by casually mentioning that Morag is the second most-likely individual in the clan (by vote as well as common knowledge) to die of an unfortunate and likely entirely preventable accident should she do something... inadvisable. Morag quiets down in response, her laughter having dropped to a low yet uncontrollable chuckle.

That is truly brilliant. Only problem is that I have no way of knowing how outdated any of these are.
Let's have a closer look at some of those regional maps. Any features which immediately stick out?
Hey, wait a minute, is that sea of light right where Anglefork should be?


That sea of light is right where you'd expect, well, the kingdom of Benzerwald, Anglefork within it and in fact quite a lot of other geographical features to be. Instead it appears to be filled with what looks to be one of those magic eye pictures. You try to cross your eyes to get a closer look and oh dear, oh my, aw geez, you don't think you want to do that again if you can at all help it. In fact you think you'll take a look at something else and never speak of this again.

[Sticking Out: 1]

As for features sticking out, it'd be a little difficult to name any that do not. Most of these maps note a wall with no end to one side of them, called the Corner of the World, and when you get out of the vicinity of the Kingdom of the Dead it looks like all geographical bets are off in terms of what is and is not even physically possible for a landmass, giant immobile sea creature or colossal assemblage of waterborne debris to look like. You see one that looks like a giant clam before you note the scale and realize it's probably just a regular clam, albeit a remarkably urbanized one for its size.

The obvious conclusion is that either most of these maps are lying to you, or they're not and you don't believe them anyway. You certainly feel a lot dumber after having looked at them than you did before.

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penguinofhonor

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2143 on: April 12, 2017, 09:17:56 pm »

I lean toward Oggie. "Hey, so the innkeeper here is a good person, definitely not worth killing. She fed me well, and resents the soldiers who attacked Anglefork. So... let's not be rash." Then I enter the inn to see about getting some rooms.
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Xantalos

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Re: Our Salvation: Maybe Just Omit The Human Sacrifice
« Reply #2144 on: April 12, 2017, 11:40:51 pm »

"By donation, do you mean of money or just helping you guys out? I can do either, I've got time."

Do the chefs want help? I've got pretty much the ultimate knife, after all.
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