"Well fine then, where's the laundry? I need me some clothes. Well, not really, but it'd probably be nice. Point is, I'm getting them. Laundry directions please."
Wait.
"Belay that, possibly. I mean where can I get some clothes. I don't have any and neither does my companion, and we want some. Where can we get some?"
[A Straight Answer: 6]
The girl stops squirming a moment in your grasp as your remark gets her interest. Wait, did somebody steal yours? It wasn't her! She hasn't even seen you before! Yeah, wasn't her, the crowd echoes. They don't do that kind of thing. Yeah! If anyone did, it was probably those mason brothers, lousy good-for-nothings that they are! So why don't you go bother them for whatever clothes they've stolen from you, you dang filthy idjit. The last remark isn't quite as loudly approved of as the preceding ones, you notice, probably because most of these servants appear afraid of provoking you.
Nevertheless, you do believe you've been provided with some sort of direction.
"Drunk? Oh no, this imaginary drunk. The best kind drunkenness really. You can get very drunk very fast without drinking anything and sober up instantly when situation needs it. And I'm a bit of minder myself, you see."
Explaining benefits of imaginary drinks. And make him truly see. One Cormick's Condescending Riddle, coming up right now.
Since this situation is solved, proceed to steal techniques. Or copy.
[The New Way: 2]
You don't
look imaginary drunk, the guard says. That may be, you reply. Maybe that's because he's the one who's imagining it. So really it's his own fault that you're going to visit a group of vulnerable children while nearly blasted out of your skull.
Unfortunately, he does not acknowledge the validity of your point, and any rebus you can conjure up at the moment is not the kind that makes any kind of sense to the guard. You guess you kind of need a certain blood alcohol content to properly understand wisdom of this caliber. Though to comprehend the concept of being imaginary-drunk, don't you need to... become imaginary drunk yourself? So the only way you can attain the knowledge is by already knowing it. Whoa.
Okay, seriously, whoa. You need a time out here. The guard sincerely agrees, and while you take a minute or five to try and remember the exact series of life choices that led you here in search of where exactly you crossed the paradox boundary (that is, if you crossed it all and didn't occupy the south side of it all along and whoa, you really should cut down on the epiphanies a little, they go right to your head) you find yourself suddenly in a different place. Downstairs, you take way too long to figure out, that's where. Man, you got here pretty fast. Wait, you were going to do something.
Sleep it off, comes a reply from behind you. The guard you remember from shortly before is looking at you sternly. Another guard observes impassively, seemingly glad for at least something to look at while on watch duty and seemingly sorely in need of a grapefruit or three.
Woo, this is simultaneously really ominous and exactly what I hoped for. I move the cot over below the ceiling entrance and try to use it to climb up more easily.
The cot is fairly old and loose, so detaching it from the wall is no trouble at all with a little application of the trusty old blade arm. You go ahead and drag it out by the ceiling entrance.
[Escape From The Pit: 6]
Of course, no sooner do you do this than you bump into your two friends again. The larger corpse seems to be facing you, one hand lifted to about your waist level, another up to your neck, both with palms up. At its foot the priestess seems to have knelt down on all fours, offering her back as a stepping stool for your convenience. She still seems to be breathing faintly, you notice, though she is completely silent.
Huh. Pretty good effects, really; this is an odd way and place to spend special effects money. Maybe this is just a rehearsal.
Sit and watch. Good show; how's the payoff?
[The Big Finish: 4]
The girl's shape grows clearer, the rest of the room deepening in shadow. The children orbit her, each beginning to hum a different, pitch-perfect tone, harmonizing with one another. The sound of it makes your bones itch slightly. Maybe it's the anticipation?
The rest of the room continues to darken, the voices of the children beginning to merge with the slight sounds of the surroundings, each beginning to vary until it finds the exact frequency and phase, overlays it with the opposite. Noise dies all around you, leaving behind a deafening silence, the children disappearing in dark, the walls growing invisible, the door becoming impossible to find. All that's left is the girl at the center, arms by her sides, eyes open and staring out at you, lips curled in a slight smile.
You're here. Excellent. She was about to do some investigation.
Back away through the doorway. Nothing to see here...
You retreat from this disaster in the making and pretend to have something better to do than to investigate it.
[Business As Usual: 4]
Actually, there is a laundry room nearby, apparently. You do and look for that - it's near the kitchen, actually. Well, you think this is it, at least. There's a conspicuous dirty circle on the ground where you think a tub may have once been placed, and there's a small bench in one corner with what looks to be unclaimed clothing placed on it, most of it looking like it's been washed sometime last week.
[A Proper Size: 4]
Most of the clothing in question is a little too small for you, but there's a few articles, including a bright yellow tunic, red floral-patterned trousers, an old brown waistcoat, a set of loose dark green shorts (the matching jacket you also find is regrettably too small), a respectable enough skirt that it wouldn't particularly endanger your self-image, and finally a slightly moth-eaten hat.
Leif Erikson, Miner
- A Word: INEVITABLE
- Wounds: 2
- Reappropriated, Clean Skirt
- 1 gp
- Anglefork Castle: A Free Man
- The Box: ?
- Tower of the Mind: Convenient Relocation
- Induced Inebriation: Comfortably Drunk
- Induced Lucidity: the Burning Church
- The Prison Stone
- Elongated Affairs: A Noble Task
- Elongated Affairs: The Numbers of the Stoat
- Compatibility: Minding
- Tricks of the Mind: Cormick's Condescending Riddle
- Tricks of the Mind: Perceptual Rebuke
- Tricks of the Mind: Erikson's Inexplicable Grapefruit
- Party in the Courtyard: Celebration in Earnest
- Never In: Swallowed By The Pit
- Gods of the Underground: Did You Just What
- Labyrinths of Anglefork: Tunnel-Literate
- The Voracious Dark: Two Deals Made
- The Voracious Dark: The Promised Sixth
Eileen Minett, Vinyl Collector
- Naked
- Wounds: 2
- An Arm And A Blade (blunted, bloodstained)
- A Word: HUNGER
- A Word: CHAOS
- A Weapon: Explosive Cysts
- Rat Pantheon: Disliked
- Traces of Mischief: Mouthful of Blackness
- Traces of Mischief: Loosened Smile
- Origins: Witness to Dissolution
- Tower of the Mind: There's Something To Remember
- The New Queen: And Something To Forget
- The Queen's Guard: Bringer of Doom
- Touch of Flame: the Secrets of Flammability
- Inscribed Brick ('Water')
- The Voracious Dark: Two Connections Given
- Body Count: 1
- Never In: the Obvious Candidates
- Labyrinths of Anglefork: the Crossroads
- The Impromptu Prophecy: the Sensible Solution
- Sweet Little Children: Highness
Jack Daniels, Karate Man
- Naked
- Traces of Mischief: A Bisected Left Kidney
- Uncoupled: Strength
- Wooden Door (held)
- The Majordomo: ?
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: the Sword of Destiny
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: Something Priceless?
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: An Unspeakable Garment
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: A Profane Megalith
- Tower of the Mind: Endless Well of Mystery
- Induced Lucidity: A Garden Well-Tended
- Doomstones: ?
- A Place In History: Emergent Abomination
- Anglefork Castle: the Great Serpent
- The Obsolete Class: Suggested Victims
- 2 rats, crushed
- 1 rat, strangled
- 1 rat, live
- Touch of Flame: the Second Degree
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Sunday ± 2 Days
- The Impromptu Prophecy: There's A Mountain Higher Than We Knew
- The Voracious Dark: Three Connections Given
- The Good Doctor: A Recommendation
- Body Count: 2
Thomas Minstep, Insurance Agent
- A Word: ABSENCE
- Anglefork Castle: From Another Time, Another Land
- Gross Incandescence: Partly Illuminated
- Tight Leather Pants (worn, wet)
- Incredibly Tight Blue Dress (worn, mutilated, mildly provocative)
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Saturday, July 24th, 409 S.D.
- The Majordomo: A Fresh-Faced Lunatic
- The Good Doctor: House Call
- The Queen's Guard: Okayed by the Queen
- The New Queen: Within the Margin of Sanity
- Tower of the Mind: There's Mysteries To Be Solved
- Body Count: 1
- Army of the New State: 455 Stout Strangers
Oscar Wilde, Chemistry Teacher
- Naked
- Wounds: 1
- Burlap Foot Wrappings (worn)
- Burlap Hand Wrappings (worn)
- Blue Shards of a Probable Bottle
- Blue Glass Shiv
- A Wealth of Burlap Ribbons
- An Obsolete Class: Incidental Observer
- The Voracious Dark: the Threshold