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Author Topic: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD  (Read 30610 times)

Nosaneinme

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #285 on: November 08, 2015, 05:47:32 pm »

Locke Decide to do the thing, he know how. Write play about this whole event
« Last Edit: November 09, 2015, 04:54:12 am by Nosaneinme »
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BFEL

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #286 on: November 09, 2015, 02:20:22 am »

SlaughterSoul volunteers to lead the armies. Presumably after making a pair of boots out of the ring merchant.

I would advise against awakening the king. Presuming we can keep him stable in this condition it would be beneficial not to have to explain things to him afterward.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2015, 02:31:26 am by BFEL »
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ATHATH

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #287 on: November 09, 2015, 10:49:33 am »

SlaughterSoul volunteers to lead the armies. Presumably after making a pair of boots out of the ring merchant.

I would advise against awakening the king. Presuming we can keep him stable in this condition it would be beneficial not to have to explain things to him afterward.
"Are you proposing to exploit the king's current position for your own gain?"
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
Quote
*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

BFEL

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #288 on: November 09, 2015, 11:13:14 am »

No I'm proposing to exploit his current position for the KINGDOM'S gain. Not to put too fine a point on it, but his entire contribution so far has been to get so drunk and moody that he threatens to throw us into a succession crisis on top of the rebellions.
Rebellions that wouldn't be happening might I point out if you hadn't let the fool out of the room our dear king locked him in.
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ATHATH

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #289 on: November 11, 2015, 09:06:33 am »

No I'm proposing to exploit his current position for the KINGDOM'S gain. Not to put too fine a point on it, but his entire contribution so far has been to get so drunk and moody that he threatens to throw us into a succession crisis on top of the rebellions.
Rebellions that wouldn't be happening might I point out if you hadn't let the fool out of the room our dear king locked him in.

"So you admit to exploiting him, then?"
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
Quote
*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

Nirur Torir

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #290 on: November 13, 2015, 06:50:44 pm »

Summer. The weather is pretty nice this season.

Sir Mangrove continues to the next realm, and invites the fey to travel alongside himself.
{4} - The fey finds his offer hilarious, and agrees. Together, they find a hidden pathway in the mists to the fabled City of Gold.

Practically everything is made of precious metals and gemstones. Farmers wear opulent silken garb, and food practically spouts from the earth. They greet him as an equal, and give him amazing lodgings, but he can't quite figure out who is in charge.

Darius trains the local levies.
{1} - The local levies take to dwarven training methods like cows to a slaughterhouse.

Sir Biscuits reveals himself as Hobnob McEvil, leaves instructions for goblin tea to be brewed for the king, and casts a foul necromantic spell of fiscal ruination at rebel nobels.
((Okay, but I have no idea what you're trying to accomplish by giving him completely unspecified magic tea and with no desired effect stated.

A torrid blizzard suddenly strikes for an hour. The temperature drops by 40 degrees F, but only for a few minutes.

Plants grow rapidly near you twice. Local gravity reverses for the rest of the day.
A strong wind picks up repeatedly.
You turn into a mermaid, then you become a teenager, and finally you turn into a mermaid.
))
{4} - Someone actually does brew the magical goblin tea leaves for the king, and splashes some down his throat. Immediately, strong wind surges through the sealed room, smelling faintly of fish. Over a few seconds, the king turns into a magnificent, if slightly underaged, mermaid. She rapidly ages into a late-middled-age mermaid. The aging stops at the king's former body's age. The physicians are baffled by the changes, but quickly to work keeping the now-aquatic, still-comatose 'king' alive.

{1} - To make his magic even more potent, Hobnob uses the entirety of the treasury as a focus for sympathetic magic.

After a harrowing ordeal with a (SUCCESSFULLY CONTAINED!) large void of wrong-space, the treasure room is replaced with an eldritch portal. He's not sure where it leads, as the test subject was instantly corrupted into a thing which hurt to look at. Nothing seems to be invading from it, so he covers the treasury doorway with a velvet curtain and places an out-of-order sign on it. (The problem might take some time to fix, and he can't have people stumbling in unintentionally.)

Zechtenmarkus solves everything with copious amounts of mind control magic.
{3} - He mind controls the mayor and council of a tower before he runs out of Witch's Grumble, and places an order for more. The town of Belle's Break is now safely loyal.

Priestess Asha begs the elves for aid.
{4} - Her pleas are heard, and a company of elite elven archers arrive shortly, bearing a chest of silver.

She has the treasure temporarily stored in her room, as the treasury is apparently pretty evil right now. It's leaking some really unpleasant magic.

<CLASSIFIED> gets a mad scientist to give the king a new liver, and continues building his poison stocks with artifact power.
{3} - Everything goes great! He's promised that, after a few days of integration, the king will wake up just fine. Unfortunately, someone turns the king into a mermaid, and she doesn't wake up.
He buys a few exotic poisons.

Locke writes a play.
{6} - The play is so good that everyone throughout the kingdom loves it. Fighting is greatly reduced this turn.

Slaughtersoul leads the armies.
{2} - That jester can write a surprisingly good play. Slaughtersoul leads the army into watching it several times, greatly increasing morale.



King Rolanda is comatose and is a mermaid. Currently, the game will end if she dies.

{5} vs {5} - There are many good-natured arguments about Locke's new play. No fighting breaks out near the capital.

{2} vs {4} - A few more loyalist troops convert to rebels, encouraged by their interpretations of the play.

The treasury contains enough to pay the local levies for 0.5 years.
Taxes remain moderate.
Roughly 1/3 of the nobility remains loyal.
Roughly 1/6 of the nobility is undecided.
Roughly 1/2 of the nobility is in open rebellion.

The local economy is adapting to slavery.
The kingdom economy is slowly adapting to slavery.

The local levies are nearly all dead and need high-level healing magic.
The kingdom levies are mediocre and are decent fighters. They have well-controlled werewolf auxiliaries.
There is a group of agriculturally-focused mages unskilled peasants in Zechtenmarkus' tower.
There is a group of veteran berserkers from Undermoon, currently guarding the capital.
There is a company of elite elven archers under Priestess Asha's command.



John Locke (nosaneinme), the palace fool.

Sir Mangrove (Harry Baldman), the Secretary of Love, Worldliness and Quests.

Asha Imeremifava (penguinofhonor), Priestess and Religious Adviser.

Darius Welthon (Coolrune206), Economic Adviser.

Classified (ATHATH), assassin.

Zechtenmarkus (crazyabe), Royal Mage and Adviser of magical Affairs.

SlaughterSoul The Fiendish (BFEL), Knight of Darkness.

Hobnob McEvil (NJW2000), knight of the crown and head of military finance. Is now openly evil.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2015, 07:18:08 pm by Nirur Torir »
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NJW2000

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #291 on: November 13, 2015, 07:03:04 pm »

"It would appear that the Kingdom is nearly doomed, and that our troops are fleeing, demoralised, weak and outnumbered. I thus suggest we take the perfectly fine King through this portal I made in the treasury, which, if our luck holds, may lead to a safer place, while placing the jester Locke and anyone else who needs or wants to stay behind in charge of the last ditch charge of the troops. Our money is running out anyhow, and at some point nobody will give us any help, so it seems that a glorious last stand and a somewhat less glorious short sprint is in order. Who's with me?"
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Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #292 on: November 13, 2015, 07:24:27 pm »

Have John Locke assassinated for seeding rebellion.
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crazyabe

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #293 on: November 13, 2015, 07:30:01 pm »

I now walk around Mass Casting Two spells at Rebels: Curse Of Womanization, And Leudrids Thick black Gentacles Summon Demon Pimp Of Female Enslavement
« Last Edit: November 13, 2015, 07:43:07 pm by crazyabe »
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #294 on: November 13, 2015, 07:34:52 pm »

((... Do try not to get the game nuked.))
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Nosaneinme

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #295 on: November 13, 2015, 07:57:32 pm »

"It would appear that the Kingdom is nearly doomed, and that our troops are fleeing, demoralised, weak and outnumbered. I thus suggest we take the perfectly fine King through this portal I made in the treasury, which, if our luck holds, may lead to a safer place, while placing the jester Locke and anyone else who needs or wants to stay behind in charge of the last ditch charge of the troops. Our money is running out anyhow, and at some point nobody will give us any help, so it seems that a glorious last stand and a somewhat less glorious short sprint is in order. Who's with me?"

"I'm with you, I found my true way. I try teach the king the way of a philosopher-king just like The Republic written by Plato "

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ATHATH

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #296 on: November 13, 2015, 11:43:45 pm »

"It would appear that the Kingdom is nearly doomed, and that our troops are fleeing, demoralised, weak and outnumbered. I thus suggest we take the perfectly fine King through this portal I made in the treasury, which, if our luck holds, may lead to a safer place, while placing the jester Locke and anyone else who needs or wants to stay behind in charge of the last ditch charge of the troops. Our money is running out anyhow, and at some point nobody will give us any help, so it seems that a glorious last stand and a somewhat less glorious short sprint is in order. Who's with me?"

"I'm with you, I found my true way. I try teach the king the way of a philosopher-king just like The Republic written by Plato "

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Plato is in our world, not this one.

Have John Locke assassinated for seeding rebellion.
What will you give me to do it?

"It would appear that the Kingdom is nearly doomed, and that our troops are fleeing, demoralised, weak and outnumbered. I thus suggest we take the perfectly fine King through this portal I made in the treasury, which, if our luck holds, may lead to a safer place, while placing the jester Locke and anyone else who needs or wants to stay behind in charge of the last ditch charge of the troops. Our money is running out anyhow, and at some point nobody will give us any help, so it seems that a glorious last stand and a somewhat less glorious short sprint is in order. Who's with me?"
"I believe that we should wait until our Planar Specialist (Harry Baldman) returns."

Find a Mermaid specialist. Ask them to replace the King's liver. Use some of my vial money, if I must (don't use the vial in front of/near him).
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
Quote
*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

BFEL

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #297 on: November 14, 2015, 12:38:51 am »

The treasury is...EVIL you say?
Absorb evil power from treasury, Become SLAUGHTERSOUL THE EVEN MORE FIENDISH


((Also DAMN IT NIRUR NOW I'M AN ADDICT AGAIN
Spoiler: hilarity (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: November 14, 2015, 01:00:14 am by BFEL »
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Nosaneinme

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #298 on: November 14, 2015, 01:48:21 am »

"It would appear that the Kingdom is nearly doomed, and that our troops are fleeing, demoralised, weak and outnumbered. I thus suggest we take the perfectly fine King through this portal I made in the treasury, which, if our luck holds, may lead to a safer place, while placing the jester Locke and anyone else who needs or wants to stay behind in charge of the last ditch charge of the troops. Our money is running out anyhow, and at some point nobody will give us any help, so it seems that a glorious last stand and a somewhat less glorious short sprint is in order. Who's with me?"

"I'm with you, I found my true way. I try teach the king the way of a philosopher-king just like The Republic written by Plato "

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Plato is in our world, not this one.

Point the this story has no lore nor does it care for one, Nirur if he want to change. So stop back-gming, you are not gm backup   
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NJW2000

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #299 on: November 14, 2015, 05:24:52 am »

"True, it might be a good idea to wait for that demon slayer. But I fear we cannot delay too long, lest the rebels overtake us. Are you with us, Sir Mangrove? Answer quickly, as the box office profits from Locke's play are already diminishing to insignificance, and open war will soon spread throughout the land once more!"
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