Oh thanks man.
Now...
Take control of the booze demon population, force them under my control!
[2]
Demons seem not to give a shit, as they are currently stealing all of yours.
well. I'll just sword fight goblins, then.
[3]
Your sword converts goblins into gimps, who run off in fear.
Also, your sword is now a giant dildo.
Teleport self to the GM's room to hide, or to the cheese dimenson.
[2]
Alas, you lack a teleporter.
Tell everyone I will disable the c4 if they make me the president.
[6]
Congratulations, you're the president of Avatar City. On the downside, though, you now have to deal with collapsing structures and booze demons.
Eat till I float into orbit and become a secondary moon to earth.
[5]
Being a moon is fun.
Respawn, release nuclear ARMEGEDDON on the Tyrannosaur .
[3]
Alas, you read the Heretic's update, so the T-RX1000 laser chainguns you and eats you.
Crawl into a ball until it comes off.
[2]
I think it isn't leaving until it eats your brain, and you sorta need that to live.
Raise Remarkable Revolving Relativistic Potato Musket and fire, obliterating the building before it can crush me!
[1]
A single potato flies out, bouncing off the incoming pile of rubble. Which you are now buried under.
ASSESS SITUATION, WHERE AM I
also poketwo kindly calm yer shite
[4]
Next to the rubble of a skyscraper. Close enough.
Break rules again
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Moar head scratches!
[1]
Headscratches are now banned by law.
It has come again. My god.
Well, only one thing to do.
DRUNK SCIENCE
[1]
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-You wake up next to a portapotty, on the tip of a volcano.
Eat the field of cheese. All of it.
[3]
You get to cheese piece #1203 before your stomach ruptures.
Hey, stop that!Magically shoot all the glass out of my hands.
[6]
You shoot it into your face.
Pull every lever.
[5]
The entire city is now crashing down around you.
Cover everything with trees!
[4]
You cover the rubble with trees. The booze demons are too distracted by the collapsing city to steal them again.
1 turn until nuclear detonation